Monday, March 22nd 2010
Open Post: Hosted By Dana Donny
The only reason to watch Celebrity Apprentice is to witness Cyndi Lauper's genius verbal-aneurysms, but the star of last night's episode was some random girl who went up to Rod Blagojevich to tell him that her parents named her after him. No, her parents did not name her "Disgrace." The girl thought Rod was Donny Osmond!
I don't know what's the most tragic part of this. Blago's "Dennis the Menace" hair or the fact that the girl was named after Donny Osmond. It's a toss-up.
And I'm pretty sure Cyndi Lauper still thinks she was competing against Donny Osmond.
• 
From shit talker to shit eater, eh? Poetic indeed.
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:26pm.
It's not what they're MADE for, it's what we can DO to them and how we can make them feel GOOOODDD
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Are you shitting me? Pun intended. Ive passed turds that hurt so bad my eyes watered...... I cant imagine picking it up and trying to jam it back in.
El B.,
Whew! I worry about your dip status!
I didn't have BBC3, but I found it online!! Good stuff! Believe was FABUUUUUU!
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*tazes el b*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:22pm.
*puts on mask & snorkel and prepares to do what is necessary to make Jacky, Ese, and El B happy campers*
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*taps foot*
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:25pm.
Sucky -- how would they put that on your tombstone? ---------------------------------------------------
Lived with shit coming out of his mouth.
Died with shit going in his mouth.
so fucking poetic.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:25pm.
Finally! Something I know something about: Ass sex!
YAY FOR ASS SEX!
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Whew! I thought I typed that in the wrong window for a second there! Double Whew!
♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker
Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:18pm.
@Babu: You got that right... sometimes I've been known to be a little too wild for the more prudish boys. But if they stick around I usually have them scaring the shit out of the girls that come after me.... Ha, ha, ha, ha!
_____________________
Are you my long-lost twin?
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"OMFG! What kind of site are you on?" - David Letterman's Psych major sister, 1/7/10
*gives Sucky Heimlich manuever*
There will be no turd choking on my watch!
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:24pm.
@Stoney: They always say they won't put it in all the way, then you start screaming, and the next thing you know it's a prison scene and you're begging them to do it that way all the time... I mean, some girls would I imagine!
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*misses ex-wife*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Submitted by Morbidosity on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:22pm.
Butt holes are NOT made for licking or fucking.
* gags *
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It's not what they're MADE for, it's what we can DO to them and how we can make them feel GOOOODDD
Sucky -- how would they put that on your tombstone?
____________________________________________
"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:22pm.
*puts on mask & snorkel and prepares to do what is necessary to make Jacky, Ese, and El B happy campers*
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as long as i go frist!!... ELB fucks priests... that's just nasty!!
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"Piiiiiigs...iiiin...spaaaaaaace!"
Finally! Something I know something about: Ass sex!
YAY FOR ASS SEX!
♥ Threadkilla!
Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common.
~ Dorothy Parker
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:22pm.
LawDog,
Hahha! You can keep yelling, but no no no to the butthole!
El B.,
Ex? No! Who's going to make home-made dip for you?
NO! Not Quackymole? Years back!
The Marathon show was great! :) Whatta dude! :o)
@Stoney: They always say they won't put it in all the way, then you start screaming, and the next thing you know it's a prison scene and you're begging them to do it that way all the time... I mean, some girls would I imagine!
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:22pm.
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:20pm.
If you guys want your assholes fingered or rimmed, do us all a solid and use a wet wipe immediately before sessy times
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This is why I avoid the bung all together. I don't need a case of E-Coli thankyouverymuch.
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:20pm.
If you guys want your assholes fingered or rimmed, do us all a solid and use a wet wipe immediately before sessy times
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It's better if you take a shit then shower. I don't wanna end up dying from choking on a turd.
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I do my biz in the jacuzzi that way I am ensured a fresh and tidy b-hole.
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
ESE,
I thought that was implied?
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LMFAO at Morbid....
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
ME: Just make sure BH is nice & clean before going at it & all will be good. Hell, all of us whores shoud make sure that we're squeaky clean whenever possible before fucky times.
Everyone here is killing me with the razor sharp wit today -- I've been needing a good chuckle like this for awhile now!
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"OMFG! What kind of site are you on?" - David Letterman's Psych major sister, 1/7/10
*puts on mask & snorkel and prepares to do what is necessary to make Jacky, Ese, and El B happy campers*
**************************************
This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:20pm.
If you guys want your assholes fingered or rimmed, do us all a solid and use a wet wipe immediately before sessy times
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It's better if you take a shit then shower. I don't wanna end up dying from choking on a turd.
LawDog,
Hahha! You can keep yelling, but no no no to the butthole!
El B.,
Ex? No! Who's going to make home-made dip for you?
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@El Bastardo: As I've said before, Sex is like Ultimate fighting... everything goes, just no low blows. I have to really love a man to go oral on the anal... that is not a one night stand scenario unless I'm showing off.
Butt holes are NOT made for licking or fucking.
* gags *
I hope Stoney posts about the sodomy shes gonna get!
If you guys want your assholes fingered or rimmed, do us all a solid and use a wet wipe immediately before sessy times
**************************************
This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:16pm.
Just say "No" to the butthole invasion.
you forgot to add the "unless the Bale wants it" amendment
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"Piiiiiigs...iiiin...spaaaaaaace!"
I was playing wiffle ball in New York this weekend and I wish it was a dick sucking contest because I would've done so much better. There was this shark fucking pitcher who threw these fucking nasty curve balls, I wanted him to sit on my face real bad.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:15pm.
Ok, so that's three no's, one yes...
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Google "goatse" on Google images.
Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:16pm.
* Fed Ex-ing lots of lube to Stoney with a Get Well Soon Card*
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*adds Witch Hazel and a donut to sit on*
CLARISSE, WELL GOOOOOOD FOOOOOOR YOUUUUU!
YOUR A FUCKING AMATEUR, WE ARE DONE PROFESSIONALLY!
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
@Babu: You got that right... sometimes I've been known to be a little too wild for the more prudish boys. But if they stick around I usually have them scaring the shit out of the girls that come after me.... Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ok, he did say he won't put it all the way in...
LMAO
*reports self*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Love sticking my tongue in girls asses! Had anal once....she was from New York! ALSO, i like it when my xgf stuck her finger in my perfect ass (in a non-gay way), niiiiice!
TMI? Dont care! Try it, doesnt hurt.......much
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:09pm.
My only problem with butthole action is that it always feels like you have to poo. Excuse me, but I need an expert like spicedong to explain to me how to overcome that feeling or I simply refuse to do it. Plus, I'm dealing with an especially large one, so the thought is pretty terrifying.
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*notes Stoney has experience*
I think we have a majority of no-no to the no-no
Is that in the healthcare reform bill?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Just say "No" to the butthole invasion.
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I feel the need to vomit.. if I have that funk that's going around someone is gonna get stabbed.
____________________________________________
"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
* Fed Ex-ing lots of lube to Stoney with a Get Well Soon Card*
Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:05pm.
Also, once I messed with a guy whose cock was smaller than my pinky finger and I made him fuck me in the ass. Otherwise I could not feel it! That romance did not last long.
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My condolences on that one, girl. But ITA wholeheartedly with the rest of your posts. All men love a little tongue action on their bums, as well. (At least in my experience.)
Fuck it, men pretty much love everything we do with them in the sack, right?
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"OMFG! What kind of site are you on?" - David Letterman's Psych major sister, 1/7/10
Ok, so that's three no's, one yes...
*makes list*
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
The hamster can carry out the lee press on nail
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
*jiggly jiggly jiggly*
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *smacks lips*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 3:09pm.
lol lawdog... on a fatty where you can't tell where the gut ends and the cunt begins... just one big lump of shit.
They cant help being 'curvy'....big lump of shit?? Damn!
I say no. Do I get a say?
*red headed stepchild of Dlisted*
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
*fingers butthole, smells fingers*
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
What if a lee press on nail falls off in there?
*hmm i dont remember eating that*
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"One Shot, One Shot!"
Ronnie 2, Townies 0
Excuse me Jack, are you looking at me naked again?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"