Monday, March 22nd 2010
Open Post: Hosted By Dana Donny
The only reason to watch Celebrity Apprentice is to witness Cyndi Lauper's genius verbal-aneurysms, but the star of last night's episode was some random girl who went up to Rod Blagojevich to tell him that her parents named her after him. No, her parents did not name her "Disgrace." The girl thought Rod was Donny Osmond!
I don't know what's the most tragic part of this. Blago's "Dennis the Menace" hair or the fact that the girl was named after Donny Osmond. It's a toss-up.
And I'm pretty sure Cyndi Lauper still thinks she was competing against Donny Osmond.
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Cake, I'm so sorry, you must be terribly disappointed. Look at it this way, you are not tied down by a job or a man, you could literally go anywhere and do anything at this point. You have the opportunity of a life time, move to Europe or Jamaica or Hawaii, what have you always dreamed of doing?
@Sal, my MIL is hispanic and I know of the shrine from Nana!
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by lifeislikecake on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:15pm.
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:04pm.
***
That happened to me once. And those bitches tried to rub that shit in my face too! But I didn't care. Now, I have a man and two are divorced. Never know what's going to happen...
LEEENNNNNIIIIEE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!
@Cake, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Who said that? Oh right, Me.
You have to take the risk of getting hurt gurl!
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:17pm.
goodnight leenie. and let some other ho get the donuts. you're the boss of those hos.
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:11pm.
Sal I also believe you are required to have a shrine to Jesus and the mother mary in your home in a conspicious location...
*lights candle and says 3 hail marys*
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LawDog, that's why I can't have any more parrots. They're considered endangered species.
And how would you know about the freakin' shrine?!?! I don't have one but you can bet my grand mother has one. LOL.
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:14pm.
Cakey, honey, are you having any luck with the job hunt? Any interviews or anything?
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no. and i got my BU rejection letter on Saturday. so fuck work and fuck grad school. i decided that i'm going to move when my lease is up (may). but idk where.
*shanks the world*
@Sal
Bartender girl = asshole.
What a bitch! Worthless wife, mother, and girlfriend. The trifecta
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
OK, bitches, I am out. Gonna sleep til 8, roll into the office at 9, yell at everyone by 9:15, leave to get Dunkin Donuts to make up for my outburst, call 2 or 3 clients, take a two hour lunch, fight with VP and then leave early. Oh, and I just got a raise, too. YEAH ME!
iving." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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LawDog on Mon, 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever.
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:14pm.
The shocking part is that she's actually married to some guy she's not in love with, and is not the father of any of her kids, but still takes care of them while she's working.
***
OMFG.
*hits moral compass to get it working* fucking thing is all over the place
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:04pm.
thanks ho. as of today, i think i am officially the only girlfriend in my group of girlfriends who is single now. and that fucking sucks. my shrink says i have commitment issues and whatnot.
i am moving soon too, so im not trying to holla at these boys for real. they keep fucking up my game by calling me though.
PLAY OR BE PLAYED
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:02pm.
BB!!! MWAH!! Don't get me wrong, I am no moral pillar(oh, let's face it, I am perfect), but make the man chase you. Don't move your shit in after 2 weeks and neglect your kids. I'd flip if I went 2 or 3 days w/out my son, let alone 2 weeks and then she acts all conciliatory when I call her out on it? No, bitch. She know's I am right.
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The other day I had a few drinks with this girl who works as a bartender, 28 years old with 4 children. She was crying the blues about a younger dude who broke her heart. She thought they were going to get serious and the guy decided to go out with somebody his own age. The shocking part is that she's actually married to some guy she's not in love with, and is not the father of any of her kids, but still takes care of them while she's working.
Cakey, honey, are you having any luck with the job hunt? Any interviews or anything?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
*gets dollar bills ready to put in Cakey's depends*
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
ahahaha, I so love you, LD, you fucking bitch!
*tries to straighten up*
, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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LawDog on Mon, 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever.
Sal I also believe you are required to have a shrine to Jesus and the mother mary in your home in a conspicious location...
*lights candle and says 3 hail marys*
**************************************
This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
TEAM WTF AM I STILL UP???
motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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LawDog on Mon, 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever.
*leans on moral pillar*
Why does Leenie's moral pillar look like the leenie tower of pisa?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by lifeislikecake on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:06pm.
LD, the average age of the strippers at the Clermont is 55 ish. So yeah. Let me bring you an application tomorrow.
lololol.
***
hahaha
*bites bambam's nipples*
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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LawDog on Mon, 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever.
Sal, if you are costa rican then it essential that you have a talking parrot! Or at least a gecko or somethin!
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
@lifeislikecake
that sucks. it sounds like she's a bad mother and unfortunately, they will probably have issues later on in life. men who don't respect their mothers and don't have a relationship with them are usually bad news.
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Oh how I wish that could be printed up on a million tee shirts along with BE A GOOD MOTHER on the back. They could make that a mandatory requirement with healthcare.
I literally have to bite my tongue when I overhear some women talk shit about men then yell at their little boys doing stuff normal kids do.
Sal, we will page you next time. i am more interested in what the menz have to say about sex anyway. i wanna know if im doing it right. lol.
PP, she is still a nasty ass HO (no, not you LD)
LD, the average age of the strippers at the Clermont is 55 ish. So yeah. Let me bring you an application tomorrow.
lololol.
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 11:02pm.
I'd flip if I went 2 or 3 days w/out my son, let alone 2 weeks and then she acts all conciliatory when I call her out on it? No, bitch. She know's I am right.
***
Everyone knows you're right. Your friend is off the chain.
Cakey, why ARE you single? You are hilariously funny, very pretty, and smart, it must be your avian aversion that is jacking up your play. It looks like you have a few dudes sniffin around, any good prospects?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Cakey, LawDog
I can't vote because I'm not a citizen of the United States. I'm Costarican.
Rush Limbaugh is not welcome.
* loads shotgun and heads for the airport *
Submitted by peopleperson on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:59pm.
Speaking of whore mothers, what that fuck is up with that Bombshell shit?!
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Skanky white supremacist moms need love, too. :(
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)
BB!!! MWAH!! Don't get me wrong, I am no moral pillar(oh, let's face it, I am perfect), but make the man chase you. Don't move your shit in after 2 weeks and neglect your kids. I'd flip if I went 2 or 3 days w/out my son, let alone 2 weeks and then she acts all conciliatory when I call her out on it? No, bitch. She know's I am right.
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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LawDog on Mon, 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever.
Hi BB
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 5:31pm.
So I guess the topic of today was anal sex?
*throws self in oven, turns temp on HIGH*
Cupcakes know not of what you people speak.
*rocks self in baking pan*
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I'm not done reading but it was freakin' hilarious. I hate when I miss sex ed class at Dlisted.
*reserves spot at Cleremont retirment home*
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Speaking of whore mothers, what that fuck is up with that Bombshell shit?!
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:53pm.
Cake, in all seriousness, I hope that this health care reform actually works so that everyone has coverage. It is inexcusable that in our country, that there are people who cannot afford to get medical care.
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cosigned. if one gets pecked by a bird. they should be able to see a doctor.
HELLO BB
Leenie, I fucked my husband on the first date
*blushes* but that was 20 years ago and neither of us had kids. Still, what a hose bag huh?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Sal are you a felon?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
@PP, smart ass much?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:44pm.
why can't you vote? you're gonna vote. vote or die.
Cake, in all seriousness, I hope that this health care reform actually works so that everyone has coverage. It is inexcusable that in our country, that there are people who cannot afford to get medical care.
*clenches fists*
We are not some third world nation, we are the fucking USA! I feel it is the right of every human being to be able to see a doctor and receive appropriate medical care.
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
oh hell naw. you cant leave a 14 year old and 17 year old at home! who knows what they were doing!
that sucks. it sounds like she's a bad mother and unfortunately, they will probably have issues later on in life. men who don't respect their mothers and don't have a relationship with them are usually bad news.
Thanks, LD. She is truly a whack job w/ no confidence. My other friend on the trip told her to stop fucking men on the first date and then maybe, just maybe, she'd get second date.
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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LawDog on Mon, 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever.
Evening whores! Leeenie, that gets on my nerves, too, when people are too friggin selfish to take care of their kids.
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:45pm.
It sounds like this girl has pretty low self esteem and isn't that great of a mother.
**
wow counselor! what on earth would give you that idea?
leenie, that sucks. every group has someone like her. i swear its not me in my group of friends.
how old are the kids?
Dating when you have kids should be a whole different "ball" game IMO. I talk a lot of shit, but I have been with my husband for 20 years next month. Once we adopted the kids, our life focus shifted from us to them.
I agree with Leenie, I wonder if those two boys will grow up to treat women like tramps?
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
PP, her 14 and 17 year old were 8 hours away staying by themselves, but their dad was 10 minutes away. Not my point...BITCh have some respect and stop fucking anything that moves!! Go be a mother! She went through this story about how her 14 year old hadn't talked to her since Valentine's Day. I think if my son was that angry w/me I'd do anything to make it right. I wouldn't go shack up with a new guy and his son. God, just thinking about it makes me want to punch her in the face.
Sal, I cosign!!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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LawDog on Mon, 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever.
Submitted by LawDog on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:39pm.
Cake was your one trip to the doctor for head trauma or involve the putting of a plate of metal in your head? Just axin?
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no i had fucking kidney trauma!!! had to go to the ER and shit. thank God there was no overnight stay involved. otherwise i'd be down the street doing the ho stroll trying to pay my shit off.
*vows to stop drinking to give kidneys and liver a break*
I want to be secretary of de fence
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by lifeislikecake on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:44pm.
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:37pm.
*unshanks the internet for everyone*
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Gawd I hope that works.
Eleenie, good for you for saying something!
*moves stuff out of house of man she has only known for two weeks, with 15 year old son*
It sounds like this girl has pretty low self esteem and isn't that great of a mother.
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This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. This is an ex-parrot"
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 10:42pm.
She got mad at me because she was staying with someone she recently started dating. I said, "don't your 2 boys wonder why you are staying with a single man and his 15 year old son?"
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Who the hell is watching the kids? Are her kids teenagers at least?