Jessica Simpson Is The New Lil' Wayne
Lil' Wayne recently had to spend a third of his day in the dentist chair, because his dirty ass rotten mouth needed a bunch of root canals. Well, that's in Jessica Simpson's future, because she admitted that she hardly brushes her teeth. So now Papa Joe knows why Jessica looks at him funny whenever he walks around with a tube of toothpaste down his pants. Jessica ain't interested. Not ever!
In an interview with iheartradio (clip above), Jessica singed the interviewer's nostril hairs when she opened her dirty mouth and said, "I don't brush my teeth. No, really! I just use Listerine and sometimes I'll use my sweater. I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. I mean, find me when I'm 60 and they'll probably be all out."
John Mayer described Jessica Simpson's pussy as crack, but he didn't say anything about how he had to pick food particles off his dick every time she went down on him. Note to any dude who is about to get down with Jessica, bring a pack of Glide with you! You're going to need it to floss steak bits out of your peen hole.
Here's dirty-mouthed Jessica greeting a dog in NYC yesterday. Dog is like, "Did my tongue go a little too deep when I licked my asshole this morning, or is that just your breath?"
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I am glad someone mentioned her size. I couldn't believe when Jessica said she was a size four. She was on Oprah to defend women who are ridiculed by the media for their weight and then she tells a bold-faced lie!!
My sister is the same height as her and has a similar build and weighs 130lbs (it is mostly boob). She is a freaking size 8-10! Jessica has to weigh at least 140-150lbs.
I felt bad for her at first but she was just whoring for attention.
Submitted by AprilReign on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 9:18pm.
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Yeah, I remember that episode.I n the preview, when the dentist asked Jessica how often she brushes her teeth she said that she didn't brush in the morning and would just have breakfast. At first I didn't think anything of it, because I almost do the same thing (I eat breakfast and then brush my teeth immediately after). But after watching the episode it was a completely different story. Apparently all she does is eat breakfast and nothing after. (Ick!) So I'm pretty sure she doesn't have any of her natural teeth left. But that doesn't change the fact that A) that's disgusting, and B) gum disease is still a problem.
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 2:21pm.
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Wendy Williams once said on her radio show that the way a woman takes care of her mouth is a reflection of how she takes care of her coochie...truer words have never been spoken.
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." [Mrs. Kravitz of dlisted.com]
I knew there was a reason I always thought she looks like she smells heinous.
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Dealbreakers: Man He No Good For You by Lesbian Yellow Sourfruit
Maybe she bleaches every night and that kills all the germs?
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Someone that stupid can not afford to have cheese & garlic breath no matter what she looks like.
she is one desperate, nasty, brainless skank.
I think we need a Jessica Simpson perfume naming contest!!
the connection is impossible not to make, and you know it!
Yuck, even if it were true, who would admit it in public? Just goes to show that yes, she IS an idiot!
What a douche bag. She needs one from the mouth.
I actually remember back when she & Nick "starred" on their reality newlywed show where she had to make a trip to the dentist, she was a big baby about it -- and they told her I recall at least 1 root canal and several fillings - I don't know what year their show aired, but evidently this is now a documented history of her scroungy mouth.
Does she think it is cute to be a ditz? And did she seriously say she is a size 4? Hollywood must take all of the tags out of clothes and resize them to sell to suckers like Jessica. No way in hell she is a 4. I'm thinner than her and I'm an 8 or 10, depending on the brand.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
There is no way this big tittied frog is a size 4.
Size four MY ASS. Maybe 14.
Her mouth must smell worse then Mayer's asscrack.
.LOL...{the all-time DEFINITIVE Chestica post Michael...yup, they don't call her a DUMB redneck bimbo for nothing}
For a second I thought she stole my mom's shih tzu.
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http://diaryofakahnartist.blogspot.com/
There's probably even more food particles in her mouth because on Letterman she was just saying how she loves to eat now. LOL!
"Mah Boo releasing his inner cunt is my porn." MK
What a fucking dumb ass. Why would you admit on TV about such a bad habit? Why? And the worst part is (please correct me if I am wrong) isn't she part of some sort of smile campaign that fixes cleft lip issues on children? If you want to be involved in a smile campaign, I believe the dumb ass is actually an ambassador to Operation Smile, then brush your god damned TEETH idiot. Set a good example, rather than being a hick with dirty teeth.
/rant over. :)
She is just digging her hole further, proving how much of a dumbshit and disgusting person she is.....What a Fool!
I am FANATIC about my teeth!!!!
Why would you admit that even if it's true? What is wrong with these celebtards?
EWWWWWWWWWWWW
THIS IS THE NASTIEST THING THAT I HAVE EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR READ ON DLISTED, PERIOD.
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CAN YOU IMAGINE HER VA JAY JAY???
A SMEGMA CAVE, GROSS
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"Quentin Tarantino makes me want to wipe my face off, because you know he spits out a saliva tsunami every time he talks" MK
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 2:21pm.
OMG!
If she can't be bothered to take care of her dental hygiene, I can't imagine her cooch hygiene is any better.
No wonder Mayer loved her pussy, he got off on eating his own come.
Figures.
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That just made me puke in my mouth a little.
NASTY HO! OMG this is gross.
omfg.... seriously, how hard is it to pick up a damned toothbrush? I mean even nowadays they fucking rotate for you, wtf??? Listerine and a sweater. Does this bitch have friends? Why does she feel the need to share shit with the public like this? Her and Mayer belong together. Her and her crack crotch and her bad breath and him and his cheese dick.
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"Sarah Jessica Parker has the same exact cardigan as my abuelita. BITER!" -- MK
OK, ıs thıs skanklette even dumber than we prevıously thought?
How ın bum fuck hell do sweaters and fresh breath correlate?
I mean, ıs thıs some traıler park jewel no one outsıde of a double-wıde has been clued ın on?
If so, then why the hell ıs she usıng ProActıv?
Someone ın her famıly can just pıss on her face!
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I am a dental assistant so I know all about lazy nasty fucks like this. They have lots of money so it doesn't matter how skanky their teeth get. They would rather come in four to six times a year to get the calculus (solidified tartar) scraped from their teeth and gums (at around $1200 a procedure) than pick up the fucking tooth brush, floss and toothpaste we send them home with. They don't even have to go to the store to get it!
I brush 4 times a day and floss after every bite, and I get cavities still and can't afford to fix them even though I used to work for a dentist!!!
Sorry, this girl is a spoiled brat.
im sure Mayer prefered eating her snatch..it smelled better than her mouth...or maybe he is just as nasty and doesnt brush his teeth..
OMG!
If she can't be bothered to take care of her dental hygiene, I can't imagine her cooch hygiene is any better.
No wonder Mayer loved her pussy, he got off on eating his own come.
Figures.
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 2:19pm.
Nasty!
I have a tooth-brushing thing. I brush/floss all the time. If you're not into brushing/flossing your teeth, I am not kissing your nasty ass, period. It's a dealbreaker for me if a guy doesn't brush/floss or kiss well.
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that should be a dealbreaker for EVERYONE...
Nasty!
I have a tooth-brushing thing. I brush/floss all the time. If you're not into brushing/flossing your teeth, I am not kissing your nasty ass, period. It's a dealbreaker for me if a guy doesn't brush/floss or kiss well.
Without commenting on her nasty hygeniene, ever since she realized she couldn't make it in country, she is looking much better. Even with the weight on, she is dressing nicely and looks great.
But what a dumb fuck.
So basically, the pig NEVER flosses.
You can't take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park outta the gutter trash whore.
Normally, I give Jess the benefit of the doubt however, she needs to just stop talking to the media! Everytime she opens her mouth, I am mortified for her. She always gives us entirely to much information............things she should defintely keep to herself.
I saw her on Oprah a few weeks ago and then last night, I saw the clip of her on Letterman. I swear in a few short weeks, she gained 20 lbs. WTF? The dress she wore on Letterman was not flattering at all. Made her look worse than the "Mom jeans" pic!
She's beginning to remind me of Marilyn Monroe. I wonder if she'll make it past 36. Not because of hygene, but because of her sex life, how much of an object she is, and how the men just use her and dump her.
I heart anything fried!
this begs the question, what does she do in summer, when it's not "sweater weather"?????
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
A sweater?!!!!!!!! That's what my teeth feel like when I can't brush them. Gross. Even if her enamel is strong and she doesn't get cavities, bad hygiene can cause gum disease.
Add this to her penchant for farting.
She stinks at both ends.
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"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." E.A. Poe.
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Fucking disgusting. Alos, Jess, babe, this is the kind of thing that you KEEP TO YOURSELF. Why the hell would she be interested on the public to know that her breath smells like something died in it?
Ahhaha Deb!
Truer words have possibly never been spoken.
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FIST PUMP!!
Sounds like someone needs some Orbit gum....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJJUGJZxpU
"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."
John Meyer and her belong together, they both say the stupidest fucking shit and WTF does "my teeth are powerful" mean? she probably has got a mouth full of plaque and little swimmers trying to find their way down the wrong hole.
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 12:42pm.
Bravo.
I think it's just great that here in America, someone like Jessica Simpson is a popular millionaire. Really.
She can't act. She can't sing. All she is seemingly required to do is look good, yet she can't say no to the WingDings and HoHos. She fucks around with douchebags. She thinks the public should know about her farts and her dirty teeth. She clearly has an IQ somewhere in the neighborhood of her bra size. Yet she's rich and in demand!
BRAVA, I say! Well done, Jess!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by beakers bitch on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 12:28pm.
Wtf is a sweater gonna do??? Does she put toothpaste on it first?
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ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 12:23pm.
Centy (no pun, of course) here are the details...
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OMFG...so funny! I'm appalled!
I love the way her mother scolded her in the business meeting, isn't she like, 30?!
NOBODY does that in a business atmosphere. Or even a bar, for God's sake. (Well, I think guys do SBD's, but they at least TRY and cover!)
Except when people are alone in the elevator and whenever somebody chooses to do that, the empty elevator door opens and I'M forced to get on, the door closes and then I am trapped...sigh...:)
LOL of the day and it's not even noon yet, thanks, Jack!!
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Thıs backwards bıtch.
What ıs the poınt of havıng flawless veneers when your mouth smells lıke the last scene of a porn shoot?
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She sounds like Kesha and that 16 year old from the other day. Wanting to be grody. The pop guys are wearing tight pants and foundation/blush and the girls are sitting around belching and farting. I like it.
same thing goes to El Bastardo and anyone else calling on my 3500$ teef operation:
I hear ya super martian....but the teeth will last you 50 years, so maybe it's a sound investment although the charges are outrageous at the moment.
I laughed my freshly-licked ass off,
on her defense her real teeth are probably inside porcelains feeling squeezed and rotting like hell in the dark
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 12:09pm.
Also, she's never seemed unkempt to me like Britney, so she will never be as gross as that bitch is in my mind.
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Agreed. Jessica typically looks showered and like she smells okay (except for her breath apparently).
Anyway, if somebody told me Britney had lice, scabies, ringworm, fleas, ANY GROSS THING, I'd believe it.
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink