The Photoshop Awards: Gerard Butler & Jennifer Aniston's W Magazine Cover
Jennifer Aniston sort of, kind of looks like herself on the cover of W Magazine, but what in Photoshop hell did they do to Gerard Butler? He looks like an extra from Grand Theft Auto. Usually when I see a picture of Gerry Butler, I have to give my eyeballs a shot of penicillin and rub myself down with a body wipe. I don't feel the need to do that after looking at this cover and that's a shame! They've changed you, Gerry!
Photoshop ridiculousness aside, what is with this pose? Is Jennifer Aniston worried that she'll have to spend the rest of the day at the free clinic due to getting so close to Gerry's crotch warts? Did she choke on a ball of cookie dough and Gerry's trying to give her the Heimlich while remaining sexy? Is he hugging her womb? I don't know, but it's not working for me.
And since it's Show And Tell Wednesday, here's an amazing e-mail I got in response to The Jennifer Aniston Perfume Contest:
This reminds me. MADDOX, you better pay that last invoice or I'm sending you to collections this time!
• 
ANISTON IS AN UGLY HORSE FACED BITCH WHO NEEDS A NEW HAIRSTYLE AND A NEW JOB...I HAVE NEVER SEEN A MOVIE SHE HAS MADE, BUT BY THE ADVERTS, THEY LOOK THE SAME...BORING, PREDICTABLE SO-CALLED COMEDY...IT IS NO LONGER A CASE OF ANGIE VS. JENNIFER...JENNIFER JUST NEED TO GO AWAY...SHE WILL ALWAYS BE THAT RACHEL TWAT FROM FRIENDS NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES...
his spelling is atrocious. that is the worst crime. however, he can still go fuck himself sideways. who cares anyway.
(sniff this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
ya seriously! He's talking about the brangeloonies and acting worse than one. Geez. I love Jennifer Aniston - most people do but its just fodder. I can't believe that these guys are gay and offended by that!?
FUCK YOU ANALOONIES !!
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http://pocagentesabe.com
Submitted by chica robotica - …- I guess it might've been a jab at the true "sheep?"
“The True Sheep(s) is a hilarious man!
Petite always loved the Sheeps! :)
That's old school DL...you youngins wouldn't know who I'm talkin' 'bout...
OT~ Jen's outfit is redic & that pose is redic!
So, Michael's on a Mac - f*king awesome
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
.:We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are:.
::Anaïs Nin::
OH FOR FUCKS SAKES!!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
I cannot believe some regulars here are drinking the koolaid from FF and thinking MK is a loonie now.
HA FUCKING HA!
Submitted by someone on Thu, 03/11/2010 - 8:19am.
I think Jennifer is a beautiful woman, and could care less about all the haters that dis her..she laughs all the way to the bank...and then goes home to her beautiful multi million dollar house.
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I agree 100% !!!!
I think Jennifer is a beautiful woman, and could care less about all the haters that dis her..she laughs all the way to the bank...and then goes home to her beautiful multi million dollar house.
@Submitted by elmo533 on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 10:49pm
Foreigner? Does this website have geographical boundaries? I think all of us here are foreigners in some way to one or more posters.
Submitted by caprica six on Thu, 03/11/2010 - 12:49am.
LOL. I can't say Sheeps was a ranter - I just mentioned him/her bc the word sheep kept coming up and I began to wonder. I'd always wondered why that name also - I guess it might've been a jab at the true "sheep?" I dunno. So tired. Now I am going to bed for real.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1256982/Jennifer-Aniston-Ge...
okay so looking at the photos inside. was JA playing a hooker in this photo shoot?
MK
Perez, OMG I can't put you 2 n the same sentence!
Ok, that's better! How dare those culos compare you to the likes of that Dos Cada Fame Whore PH!!
O - and btw, whenever we "visit" JJ - especially as a group - they're pretty sure we're from FF. LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
The thing about Jen is, she is really pretty, she has a great figure, but she doesn't have a sexy bone in her body.
NOT SEXY!
I'm sure she's really annoying and needy in relationships, too, especially now that she's starting to notice that her chest skin looks like crepe paper after all those years in Cabo and her knees have more wrinkles than California redwoods.
She's a fuck n' run.
Soon, she'll just be a RUN.
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 9:39pm.
LOL...that email sounds like a bunch of posts that were posted on Dlisted like 4 nights ago.
FUNNY STUFF!
Estupidos! Sheep!
Ha!
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It IS her, Centy. Zinnia! Amember that? - she just cut and pasted. Stoopid Loon! LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
I LOVE Maniston's shoes! They are cool! As for the e-mail, obviously the writer is British. He/she spelled humor with a "u" as in "honor." We Americans drop the unused "u"s. Also the writer could not spell "hypocrite." I do not know what "hypocyte" is. Unless the British have started spelling "hypocrite" that way, but I did not get the memo.
Submitted by peopleperson on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 9:21pm.
Submitted by chica robotica on Wed, 03/10/2010 -
Whatever happened to our dlist poster
, Sheeps? Gone? Posting under a diff name? I come and go around here and miss what happens sometimes. But I do remember the "regulars." At the very least, their names.
_____________________________________________
hey, hey PeopleP and Chica
know you all are probs sleeping, but shout out nonetheless.
Chica - most likely ranters change handles so as to avoid answering to possible backlash/basis-defending Qs. one of the "benefits" of being ionospherically anonymous i guess.
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the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"
GOD i want those shoes!..and MK is right! WTF did they do to gerry's face? I hate photoshop. I also think Jen looks really good here..
as for the email..who says stuff like that? a boycott? really?!?! sigh..it just gets to be so tiring sometimes, to have to deal with people who lack a firm grip on reality.
tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito
LMFAO...The gauntlet was tossed by an amateur and shoved right back up their uptight asshole.
YEOWCH! On the other hand...BWHAHFUCKINGHAHAHA!!
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Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 01/30/2010 - 11:06pm.
Fat, drunk and speeding is no way to go through life!!
Let's put aside the dumb ass email from what I can only assume is an illiterate foreigner. What is with the people who feel the need to defend celebrities? What the fuck have they ever done for you? If you ever do see these bitches in real life most act like major cunts; but want you to keep seeing their movies/buying their records/validating their existance with your hard earned money. Get off your high horses crazies. They eat, sleep, and shit like the rest of us, but will probably die far more miserably than your average person.
Has the person who wrote the email even stepped forward? Probably not. Idiot.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Chris Brown needs to like, wow, take that stupid ass bow tie and shove it down his throat. It's like, wow. WOW. --MK 8/31/09
What the heck is a hypocyte? That email sounds like something Courtney Love would write while she's under the influence of crack or her own delusional mind.
Submitted by caprica six on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 10:08pm.
3) DON'T EVER CALL US TRUE DLISTERS (you know, the ones where both cranial hemispheres are working) "sheep" (?? and why the fuck "sheep" BWAAAHAA)
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Whatever happened to our dlist poster, Sheeps? Gone? Posting under a diff name? I come and go around here and miss what happens sometimes. But I do remember the "regulars." At the very least, their names.
she looks like a rape victim.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 8:42pm.
Submitted by peopleperson on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 8:33pm.
Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 7:03pm.
Um, what is FF...
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*cupcake's frosting explodes*
______________________________
LOLOL!!! I go out to dinner and come back to this!!! Don't feel like I've missed a thing...
What is with her eyebrows? And I think I see some cellulite! LOL!
night, Tiger! rolling out early myself (migraines triggering from lack of sleep)
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the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"
"...in the same "cathegory" as Perez...you are a sell out...and all the sheeps here are playing along..."
To the SHORTBUS BITCH that wrote the above crayon-scribble statement to MK, couple of things, hun:
1) SPELLING - it makes all the difference when trying to get even the most elementary point across
2) Michael K, thus far, is one of THE MOST ORIGINAL bloggers on the grand old web. period.
3) DON'T EVER CALL US TRUE DLISTERS (you know, the ones where both cranial hemispheres are working) "sheep" (?? and why the fuck "sheep" BWAAAHAA)
4) Come out, love, and join us in a cerebral point-counter-point on the merits of perez, shortbuses, "cathegory", and (in true intellectual form) sheepish name-calling. We'll be here all week. Same time, same channel.
sincerely,
Caprica, the "dumb-cunt" destroyer *kisses*
(just got out of work and night class, thus, apologies for late response)
To all the solid gold Dlisters here, shout outs.
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the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"
I don't think that's a weak, dramatic face from JA, I just think she's sad. Once the photoshoot is over and done, she'll head back to that lonely, manless mansion of hers to cry over that brad shrine, ha!
Nite whores...I lurves ya equally... between taken peen, child hoarding AND "That Rotten Bastard" Lifetime Movie Marathons and a gallon of Rockie Road Icecream...I lurves yas the same...So steal taken peen, hoard foreign kids, eat peanutbutter out of the jar in your PJ's whilst cursing your lonliness to the only two beings who will listen, your favorite childhood stuffed animal and your broken vibrator...It matters none to me...I still love you...in a DListed way...which means...pretty much any further contact between us will result in a restraining order, but restraining orders don't stifle the love...Gimme tongue...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
LOL...that email sounds like a bunch of posts that were posted on Dlisted like 4 nights ago.
FUNNY STUFF!
Estupidos! Sheep!
Ha!
_________________________________
"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
@ Balenciaga Bitch
"Jen reminds me of the old hen in the cartoon with Foghorn Leghorn. Whyyyy YAASS~ Always trying to pound a rooster over the head she was so desperate.
WTF was that hen's name. Damn..."
The hens name was Prissy.
Ohhhh yes Tigerlilly, and those h'opotamus spermatocyte things do leave a bad taste in yer mouth.
@Tigerlilly
lol at FOO (friend of Oprah). Good one.
Where the hell are Cakey, Leenie, LawDog, Lutrelle, Khensu, Caprica, et al.? Do they have "lives" or something? Pffft!
Ohhhhhh jazzfish, thank you for splainin it to me!
Submitted by Zappy on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 9:16pm.
what's a hypocyte. lmao. is that something like a cyborg?
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I'm thinking a Hippopotamus's spermatocyte? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what that is...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Zappy on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 9:16pm.
what's a hypocyte. lmao. is that something like a cyborg?
====
It's an overactive paracyte.
OMG TIGER!!! LOL!
what's a hypocyte. lmao. is that something like a cyborg?
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 9:12pm.
Glad they hit the spot.
This thread has had a lot of blood and guts today.
*feels woozey*
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 8:59pm.
Tigerlilly! My beauty!
*throws entrail filled cupcake to TL*
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Huh? *drops JA inspired cookie dough dinner for AJ inspired blood and guts evil cupcake dinner*...Oh, yeah...*snacking on the remnants of some poor fool's doomed marriage*...Now that's what I call a meal...*tiger lips inflating*...Wait, wait...*unsightly vein popping out of tiger head*...Hey, I...*tiger body no longer bikini ready*....Hey! These cupcakes ARE really evil!!!! But...still delicious...nom, nom, nom....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
K2 on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 7:51pm.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 7:01pm.
Submitted by peopleperson on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 7:02pm
__________________
WOW! Look how fast people are to attack when someone voices an opinion that isn't in line with their own. Holy shit. Calm the fuck down people. I have always enjoyed MK's posts , however, I'm merely pointing out the obvious .... seems lately he's been a little rougher with Aniston. Calling Jolie " Saint" has kinda lost it's effect. Wondering if there is some real meaning behind it.
Bradiful: I didn't know that you earned the position as MK's spokeswhore !!Been coming here as long as you ... so why don't you check your tone.
- ROTFLMAO! You dumbass, see, this is how you loonies work.
Endorsing any exchange, i.e. email in this post, that promotes a level of delusion like this one does, that is based on one's unhealthy investment as to how a celebrity of any level is perceived is just pathetic.
This author of this email is clearly so over wrought by what again? Oh yea, JENNIFER ANISTON.
Please. CHECK YOUR TONE? WTF is that?
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Tigerlilly! My beauty!
*throws entrail filled cupcake to TL*
Enjoy!
Submitted by GoTexan40mg on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 8:46pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 8:42pm.
What about butter pecan frosting and a swig of Southern Comfort?
55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555
Sounds good to me.
I am HO-made, I ain't no box mix, but I don't look down on those cupcakes who come from a box mix. I am dignified like that.
*makes sure widdle cupcake nose is not in air*
The only thing dumber than that email is the fakey dramatic look on Aniston's face. wtf? weak, very weak.
.
.
Tigerlilly, I didn't think it could get any better but LMAO.
It figures EURO-TRASH is behind this ridiculous nonsense!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 8:42pm.
What about butter pecan frosting and a swig of Southern Comfort?
I've always been a Ducan Hines kinda tramp, but I would be willing to switch to whatever you frost with.. That's what us D-Listed folk do.. stick(or frost) 2gether...
Submitted by Soultonic on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 7:14pm.
That email is written by a complete idiot and a stalker type. Especially, when you take comments aimed at a celebrity personal. The only excuse that one would have to writing that letter is if Aniston or someone from her camp wrote it. Anyone else is a loonie for writing such an email.
Incidently, can someone please remind me why the almighty beautiful untouchable goody two-shoes Aniston can't be ridiculed? Who the fuck is she supposed to be? Let's get real here.
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Um EXSQUEEZE me, but she is an FOO...(friend of Oprah to you mere mortals)...She also survived the BIGGEST CRISIS OF THE CENTURY...the loss of not just A MAN which all women should just immediately kill themselves over anyway...BUT...BRAD (IQ in the double digits but isn't he hwat) PITT to that evil SNAKE WOMAN who collects children in every color (I mean, GAH, she can't even get a matching set????)...Oh, and she looks GREAT in a bikini...oh, and she looks great in a bikini....and did I mention she looks great in a bikini? Oh, and here's a picture of her in a bikini...Did I mention she's a top FOO???? And survived the emotional tsunami of a divorce from Brad (I wipe my ass with my hands and don't wear deoderant) Pitt???? Did I mention that????? *gobbling cookie dough by the handfuls*....DID I?????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...