The Jennifer Aniston Perfume Contest WINNER!
And here's the winner from Friday's contest! It was hard picking just one, so I let my boyfriend pillow do the choosing. That's how Aniston would handle this. Congrats to TheGoldenBoyNC! You've got a gift waiting in your inbox.
Winner:
"Sourpuss" - With the energizing aroma of apple cider vinegar and supple hints of stagnant Snapple lemonade, one whiff of Sourpuss will have you pout and look generally pissed off at the world just like superstar Jennifer Aniston. Pairs perfectly with Ed Hardy cologne for the man in your life ... but if you're like Jennifer, you probably don't have one. - TheGoldenBoyNC
Runners-up (prize: a cyber hug from me, no returns accepted):
Call Me
Shaped liked a phone. Smells like silence. - jazzfish_77
"Childless!" Smells like a clean house, kid-barfless clothes/hair, and FREEDOM - Green Tea Latte
Ocean Screamer, the scent that encapsulates the sandy beaches of Cabo, dried eggs and raw cookie dough. - beakers bitch
The Rules (posted on Friday):
We're going to do shit a little differently today. The CAPTION THIS Contest will take the day off, so we can help Jennifer Aniston out! OK! Magazine is saying that Jennifer has been working on a branded perfume for around 20 months. Aniston's rep confirmed the news to Wonderwall. There's a little problem, though. Jen is having trouble coming up with a name. A source said that the names "Aniston" and "Echo" have already been turned down by ad executives.
So give Aniston a helping hand! The rules are simple: Come up with a name for her perfume and describe its scent.
The winner will get a bottle of Aniston's lonely tears if it ever comes out. Or I can just send you a $25 iTunes gift card so you can download a bunch of weepy break-up songs.
The winner will be announced on Monday!
• 
Too bad the contest is over, i would have suggested
UNCOOL WATER
Congrats to winners GoldenboyNC, Jazzfish♥, Green Tea Latte and Beakers Bitch, you're all awesome!
What a thread!
congrats goldenboy! i hope you picked the iTunes card. UPS would've rejected the other prize delivery request anyway.
congrats you sluts!! i don't even want to know the grading criterion for MK w/ this hilarious post. winners all around 'cause everyone was right in some way, shape or form. LOL.
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the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"
Holy shit!
This one was IMPOSSIBLE to win!
Serious congrats to BEAKERS! You go, girl.
Also, funny Dlisters TheGoldenBoyNC, Jazzfish77, and GreenTeaLatte!
This contest was hella fun...:)
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"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others. "
I could use another I-pod gift card. Just saying.
But I couldn't create a decent name, so I don't deserve it. BAWWWW
Congratulations, winnars!
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Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
Hahahaha @TheGoldenBoyNC, dayum that was funny. Congrats also to jazzy- still keeping it funny since 1977, Green Tea, and beakers bitch. Funniest entries that I've seen in a long time.
It should've been called Bitter Tears.
Congrats, all! Well done. Jazzfish, yours is still making me laugh.
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"my genealogist and my gynocplogist know i do my Kegals like a snatch the cig off the table thai sex worker." - Courtney Love
Submitted by urmomma on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 11:24am.
Well done and I am not jealous at all...yes, I am!
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Me too! Not really;p Ok - yes, I am.
♥ Threadkilla!
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Awwww, yeah!! A cyber hug from MK. Santa came way late, but I'll take it. Congrats to TheGoldenBoyNC, jazzy and GTL, you hot sluts!!
OMG - very very funnay winners!
And congrats to EVERYONE cuz this was the hottest thread we've had in a long time:)
♥ Threadkilla!
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
I just laughed SO hard! Well done everyone! Sourpuss is HILARIOUS! Another fave was Jazz's!
:D :D :D
HAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Congrats Goldenboy and all youz runner ups! Loved the phone one! Damn, MK musta worked hard picking these 4! Sooooo many funnies! :o)
GRATZZZzzzzzzzzz.
And a big *hug* to all the maniston fans, rofl. (Not a Brangelina fan myself, and STILL think she's an overrated crazy catlady, OH SNAP)
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Well done and I am not jealous at all...yes, I am!
Yay winners!
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
Big fat congrats to TheGoldenBoyNC, jazzfish_77 (literally busted out laughing at that), Green Tea Latte, and beakers bitch!!! *bows to the masters*
NitWitty ;) same to you, but more of it!
Yay! Thank you MK - and congrats to jazzfish_77 Green Tea Latte and beakers bitch!!
I would like to thank my entire high school, dysfunctional family and shallow friends. Without y'all, I wouldn't have developed sarcasm and snark to make it through the day.
I was going to hire Sacheen Littlefeather to make my speech for me, but apparently she doesn't accept beads as payment. Well, used anal beads at least.
Now - let's go on a bender. Woohoo!
congrats hos, MK you had your job cut out for you lol
What the!? Oh mah gooness!
CONGRATS to da winnah! and fellow hug receivers!
Thanks for the hug MK! I'll never clean my comp again!
Bows to the rest of the Dlisted funny hookers, I'm not worthy!
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Submitted by dementa on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 10:21am.
Nice selection, except I wouldn't have included Green Tea Latte's. Too positive and unsnarky.
66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666
Was that necessary? I mean it may not be what you might have chosen, but MK liked it, and it's his site. No need to single out people either.
Nice selection, except I wouldn't have included Green Tea Latte's. Too positive and unsnarky.
Great job whores!
I liked EX-claimation!
"like her chin, it makes a point"
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"Here's wonkin' at you, Kid"
Biggest congratulations to WINNER TheGoldenBoyNC!!!
There were so many excellent captions. I'm surprised I made it through! Thanks, MK!!
Congratulations and more hugs to Green Tea Latte and beakers bitch!!!!
This must have been like an unlubed hairbrush up the bum to judge.
Congrats TheGoldenBoyNC.... and to jazzy, GTL and beaker!!!
There were a SHITLOAD of funny captions. Everyone give yourself a handjob this morning...
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Congrats GoldenboyNC! Jazzy, you had me LOLing on that one. WTG, GTL and Beakers Bitch, those were funnay!
Sweetas, you made me snort a couple times this weekend as well!
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Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 01/30/2010 - 11:06pm.
Fat, drunk and speeding is no way to go through life!!
TheGoldenBoyNC CONGRATS!!!!
JAZZY!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥
GTL!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥
Beaker!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
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Wow, look how many comments! MK, you really struck a nerve. Congrats to the winners!
They've lost their equilibrium because they've lost their faith in love.
(smoke's bong hit and think's)
I just don't get how Jennifer Aniston say's publically that she is fine and ok with Brad leaving her for Angelina?? Unless, he is just a real asshole and is happy to be rid of him. Either way, I would trash the shit outta both of them. But, she doesn't...I'm lost with her. I love her Dad on Day's....
Congrats, winners!!! Jazzfish, your entry made me laugh all weekend long--brilliant!
WHAT???????!!!!!!!!! Madi and her millions of posts and Teri Ann didn't win!? Oh the blasphemy! Seriously, Congrats winners!
CUNTGRATULATIONS CYBER HUG RECEIVERS AND GOLDENBOYNYC.
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Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 02/12/2010 - 2:17pm.
Sucky, I want to fuck your sick mind, you disgusting God.
Ahahahaha!! Congrats, weiners!
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I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
LOL-CALL ME SHAPED LIKE A PHONE..ahaha
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,））））,''）~~ ,''~）
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｜田｜田｜｜田｜田｜
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╰════════════════════╯
Wholesale and reatail all kinds of world brand shoes,jeans,t-shirts,bikini,beach pants,handbags,wallets,sunglasses,belt,caps,watches etc..
---------------If you think our website is good , you can put this website to your bookmarks or other places ,easy to find ...
Best quality, Best reputation , Best services
jordan air max oakland raiders $38
Christan Audigier BIKINI JACKET $58
gstar coogi evisu true jeans $39
coach chanel gucci LV handbags $36
coogi DG edhardy gucci t-shirts $18
CA edhardy vests.paul smith shoes $40
jordan dunk af1 max gucci shoes $39
EDhardy gucci ny New Era cap $16
coach okely Adidas CHANEL DG Sunglass $18
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Not tied down w/ a zillion kids
Freedom
FAIL
Off Topic: I'm watching Gia right now.
On topic: Jesus Christ. Just...Jesus Christ. I thought I was on Huffington Post or Just Jared for a second.
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Believe me, you aren't really that fucking important.
It should be called "Desperation."
Karma Chameleon...You come and go.
If you love the smell of desperation and pity
If your colors were like my dreams, red gold and green
then you'll love the new fragrance from Jennifer Aniston
Coming soon.
"Butter Face"
Smells like pound cake, yorkshire pudding, and macrogenia of the mandible.
Lesbiance
The scent that will surely capture the women when you can't get a man.
WOW......
"Pity Party"
Smells like sea breeze, bonfire smoked wedding dress, you-go-girl, nachos and a splash of vodka.
Sassy Critic
http://sassyfood.blogspot.com/
"Come to Me"
Does it smell like come to you?
Submitted by caprica six on Sun, 03/07/2010 - 1:47pm.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sun, 03/07/2010 - 12:58pm.
@peopleperson:
Jen? rules stipulate you can't enter your own contest ... even with that fake name. Sorry.
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(@Bernard - lmao Jen tryna sneak in and you caught her, lol, kudos!)
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Sad when dlisters turn against other dlisters with a loon. Oh well.
PEEP PEEP!
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"yes of course you may call me cakey. CAKE FOR EVERYONE. OPEN YOUR BABY BIRD MOUFS AND LET ME FEED YOU CAKE." ~ lifeislikecake
Pepper Spray
Because you'll need it if you run into any Jolie fans. Jesus Christ.
People are taking this waaaay too seriously. This is Dlisted y'all. I'm not a hen or a h8r, but this is too much fun to resist. Play along or gtfo.
Oh, and if you can't see that MK is the best of all time, get on your broom and ride crybaby.
A MESS
a mess by Aniston
only the shower cream available
you know why
Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 03/07/2010 - 3:29am.
Zinnia,
Also....the accent mark on blase....that's pretty good English!
Keep studying, soon you'll be William Safire.
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*know i am late as hell responding to this, and apologies, but i must respond to Centy*
@Centy - damn, you referenced W.Safire; it hit me hard when he passed; best damn On Language contributor/writer there ever was. Thus far, out of all his replacements, Caleb Crain seems almost on par w/ semantic-expressional wit.
apologies for Off-T post here.
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the two year old: "where da milk 'n cooooookies?"
the four year old: "him downstairs...."
Bernie Mac: "...Bust a move!...bust a m-f-ing move!!"