Paula Abdul MUST Officiate The Ceremony
Simon Cowell's full-time titty plumper Mezhgan Hussainy has confirmed to Radar that she is engaged to Ellen Degeneres' arch rival. Mezhgan and Simon met while she was doing make-up on American Idol. Mezhgan added that she's already living in Simon's mansion built on broken dreams.
Simon's spokeswhore wouldn't confirm Mezhgan's confirmation, but he did say this shit:
“They are very suited. She is someone who is independent and says what she thinks and feels, and he likes that. He's probably the happiest I have ever known him in the nine years I've been working with him."
Let's not embrace Mezhgan into the club by stamping her ass cheeks with the "gold digger extraordinaire" label just yet. I'm sure this is real real REAL love. I mean, when Mezhgan looks down at that sparkly ring on her finger, her heart orgasms just thinking about the time that beautiful diamond fell out of Simon's plump nipple. Yes, Simon's nipples spit out diamonds. We know this.
And we totally need to lube ourselves up in Crisco so that we can smuggle into that wedding in Simon's under titty area (he won't notice). Paula Abdul and an open bar in the same room? It's like heaven's waiting room.
Since I haven't been getting my usual fix of Paula's crackery on American Idol each week, I"ll have to get it somehow.
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1. All of Simon's girlfriends are ugly.
2. Hell must have frozen over when he proposed.
3. Wonder if he converted to Islam. Otherwise doubt she'd marry him.
4. Way to go golddigger. Doubt she is marrying him for love.
She is REALLY ugly.
Golddigger, Beard.
Potayto, potahto.
"she's already living in Simon's mansion built on broken dreams." - well put MK.
Submitted by literarylioness on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 11:44am.
I wonder why men do this kind of thing. They must know before the 10 years are up that the chick is not the "One," so why string her along? Since he is a celeb, I wonder if there is some kink to this and that is why he paid off the ex. Would it be a bitch to someone like Shannon Tweed if Gene Simmons went off and married another woman! That would be too funny. Sad, but funny.
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I'm positive Simon knew the women before were not "The One." But I think he probably didn't believe in "The One" and never saw the purpose or felt the desire to marry. I really do think of Shannon Tweed as Gene Simmons wife regardless of paperwork and that if they're not married, it's because Gene Simmons doesn't believe in marriage as it is. Suck it up, Gene -- married or not, Shannon's your bashert!
Did anyone notice Simon's man tits are on display in that pic? He needs a bra.
Wow, they're going to have very hairy babies! But, congrats, I guess!
ooops.. typo.. meant 'became a makeup artist'
Pathetic Humans- Prepare to write down the recipe!
For those of you wondering about her name, Mezhgan Hussainy is an Afghani name. She was an Afghani refugee before she got became a makeup artist and started her cosmetics line
Pathetic Humans- Prepare to write down the recipe!
I wonder if he critiques the sex ... "that was awful. Just dreadful. You're not going to go very far in this marriage."
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http://rxhollywood.wordpress.com/
Submitted by Supertramp on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 10:00am.
I am VERY proud to say I have never watched American Idol. It's just a glorified Gong Show from the 70s.
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You and me both. I still don't know what Clay Gayken sounds like.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 12:59pm.
If I were Terri Seymour, I'd be PISSED OFF. Spending years with someone, and they marry the next chick, after knowing her a couple of months? Oooooh, I'd be seething.
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I was gonna say the same thing. I guess this chick promised Simon that she never wants to have kids because I thought that was the reason why he broke up with Terri.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
WHOOPSY.. I thought it was that Seymore chick.
My b.
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
If I were Terri Seymour, I'd be PISSED OFF. Spending years with someone, and they marry the next chick, after knowing her a couple of months? Oooooh, I'd be seething.
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I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain
Ok, after a google search, I found her Myspace which says:
"Hi, I am Mezhgan... (pronounced mish-gone)."
Horrible name.
What kind of a name is "Mezhgan"??
The ex has that voice. That strange voice. Could never listen to her for long, though it shouldn't be important. But that voice.
Submitted by literarylioness on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 11:44am.
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I think its because people are FUCKED UP. Once we have our mind set on something, it will take a lot to change it. Dude decided he didn't want to settle down, it took a whole new person for him to revisit that idea...
Submitted by Sayonara
He paid the longtime ex-girlfriend off with a mansion & some hush money. Now he decides to get married to someone else. I wonder why they didn't work out.
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I wonder why men do this kind of thing. They must know before the 10 years are up that the chick is not the "One," so why string her along? Since he is a celeb, I wonder if there is some kink to this and that is why he paid off the ex. Would it be a bitch to someone like Shannon Tweed if Gene Simmons went off and married another woman! That would be too funny. Sad, but funny.
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 10:22am.
and
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 11:16am.
I was just about to post that Simon had better watch his back for the old girlfriend's hit!
I think they were together for almost 10 years.
She said they broke up because "Simon will never marry, and I want a family."
Oops.
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Aint it a bitch when the dude finally gets his shit together AFTER you break up with them.
Mezhgan? How do you say that? Mejgan? What an unpalatable name. I wonder what her nickname is, because I surely wouldn't want to wear my tongue out saying that all the time.
She looks like a skinny, toothy Kim Kardashian.
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 11:16am.
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That's f*cked up!
Mad Cobra vs. Mad Lion
Submitted by Sayonara on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 11:14am.
He paid the longtime ex-girlfriend off with a mansion & some hush money. Now he decides to get married to someone else. I wonder why they didn't work out.
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I was just about to post that Simon had better watch his back for the old girlfriend's hit!
I think they were together for almost 10 years.
She said they broke up because "Simon will never marry, and I want a family."
Oops.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Submitted by Supertramp on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 10:00am.
I am VERY proud to say I have never watched American Idol. It's just a glorified Gong Show from the 70s.
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Yup minus the gong and the unknown comic.
Mad Cobra vs. Mad Lion
He paid the longtime ex-girlfriend off with a mansion & some hush money. Now he decides to get married to someone else. I wonder why they didn't work out.
Mad Cobra vs. Mad Lion
@ Loozer
The Gong Show was so campy and funny! The judges were a collection of old has been such as Joann Worley, Soupy Sales, Nipsy Russell, etc.
Whenever I see her, I think of this picture:
http://www.afghanbuzz.com/spotlight/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/mezhgan2....
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
I bet if she's not preggers yet she will be right quick.
The Prenup is going to be the size of the NYC phone-book. This gold-digger's got her work cut out.
Submitted by parkerj on Fri, 02/26/2010 - 10:07am.
I thought he just broke up with his long time girlfriend. I always feel bad for the ex when the guy gets married to the next girl without wasting any time whatsoever.
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ME TOO. You know they must be sitting around, scraping the bottom of their pint of Ben & Jerry's, wondering why they weren't good enough!
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
She is one bizzare Eva Longoria/Teri Hatcher hybrid.
*shudders*
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I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover
Good for them!
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Virtue and Talent are obviously overrated.
Whats with the totally unnecessary z in her name?
She does resemble his old girlfriend. I love Simon....I'd probably marry him too.
*nods off* Wha.. who. er, sorry I think I feel asleep for a second.
*wipes drools off chin*
I thought he just broke up with his long time girlfriend. I always feel bad for the ex when the guy gets married to the next girl without wasting any time whatsoever.
Supertramp. Gong Show was better!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj3Q9l9Ivng&feature=related
Gene Gene The Dancing Machine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACpNVD5GMUw&feature=related
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor
Simon definitely has a type. Mezhgan Hussainy, Terri Seymour and Sinitta look pretty similar.
Everything sounds better with "former high-class call girl" before it. - Michael K
I am VERY proud to say I have never watched American Idol. It's just a glorified Gong Show from the 70s.
Thanx Come On Eileenie (too loo rye aye)!
The name didn't sound familiar, but I thought it looked like her.
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor
No, loozer, but she looks just like her!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you.
Good for them. I think it might be a real romance. Simons's three hundred year old memaw said they look like they are in love.
Is this the same chick he was dating that was on Extra or Inside Edition or one of them shows?
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor