Baby Got A Record Deal
Vadge was sick of Baby Jesus' loud ass goo goo and gagas waking her up in the middle of the day as she tries to sleep in her coffin, so she got him a record deal! That way he can cry and whine in front of a mic in a recording studio far far away. Some mothers send their children to daycare, Vadge sends hers to a recording studio!
The Sun says that Baby Jesus' first single titled "We Came From Light" (insert your own Vadge vag joke here) will come out this Summer. Vadge was only able to get Baby Jesus a two-single deal from Warner Bros. after she agreed to license some of her classic songs for advertising campaigns. A source added, "Madonna really wants Jesus's career to take off. She's been going through her Filofax and putting him in contact with as many of her influential pals as she can."
Aw. This is sweeter than Gay Al Reynold's donut hole. Vadge really is a loving sugar memaw. Before Vadge drops Baby Jesus off at the orphanage, she wants to teach him how to wipe his own ass and walk a few steps without the help of a toddler walker. Vadge's zombie heart still has a few beats in it.
In other news, JLo chopped her hair off, strapped her titties and ass down, changed her name to Joachim and was seen strutting outside of Vadge's front door.
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The only sound that would credible coming from BJ's mouth is the loud pop when Madge's cock is removed from it.
And the music industry still doesn't get why it's spinning down the shitter at the speed of thought?
Sleep with Madge and babysit the children = record deal. Sheesh
Mad Cobra vs. Mad Lion
Is Madge going senile? Look how well it worked out for Britney when she got k-fed a record deal.
One day Jesus will be floating in a swimming pool like Joe in Sunset Blvd.
Vadge is starting to look like a mackerel.
He can consider himself: PAID OFF.
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Wonder what her cheek implants are made of? Deer antlers? Horse hooves? Or are they your generic Phoebe Price saline cutlets?
What an icky feeling to have big orbs floating around yur face! Blech, who cares anyway.
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Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 11:18am.
Submitted by Meeshie on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 11:08am.
The sea hag did this in the 80's with her then "boy toy" Nick Scotti. We all know how well that turned out (as you all ask "who's Nick Scotti?"). Dumb bitch.
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You mean Nick Kamen? She even played back up singer for him.
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I totally forgot about Nick Kamen! But she also had Nick Scotti. Here you go:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6gQc4-nFmM
Vadge always wears some kind of glove now to hide her hands - it's a good strategy, actually.
I think this was a bad move on his part. You know his "music career" isn't going anywhere, but he'll indebted to her. Years from now, she'll rise up out of her coffin to claim his soul.
Gosh, Borderline: the first, last and only song of hers I liked and even that surprises me.
Whahhh! He must sing pretty out of his golden dick. She so yearns to being taken SERIOUSLY. All the money in her bank account ain't going to fix her crazy now.
She reminds me of that character Sylvia Miles played in Midnight Cowboy.
I hate it when she wears her hair like this and that black liquid liner from hell. I have photos of my mom in the 70s looking just like this! Ahhhhhhhh!
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I could use more dopamine and serotonin resulting from the laughter and caring from the Dlisted crew! ~ Tiffany/grapedrinkbaby
Submitted by KD on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 11:42am.
Are they going to be lullabies? No really, I'm actually kind of intrigued as to what kind of music he will be attempting and whether it will actually be good or not.
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She dated Nick Kamen and Vanilla Ice. I am guessing we haven't got a new Bob Dylan on our hands here
Are they going to be lullabies? No really, I'm actually kind of intrigued as to what kind of music he will be attempting and whether it will actually be good or not.
Is she still pretending to be with her Gay BFF? Seriously no one believes this match right? *channeling Dr Cox from Scrubs* Cosss he is...
Submitted by tasty dish on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 11:22am.
"...after she agreed to license some of her classic songs for advertising campaigns."
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LOL
"Like A Virgin" for Swiffer Wet Jet?
Or "Burning Up" for Prilosec.
I know Carnival or another cruise line has already used "Holiday"
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
Submitted by tasty dish on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 11:21am.
spicedong: found this on wiki
"On June 14, 2004, the dispute was resolved when Maverick shares owned by Madonna and Dashev were purchased —
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Ohhh that explains it. thanks!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
"...after she agreed to license some of her classic songs for advertising campaigns."
borderline for taco bell?
spicedong: found this on wiki
"On June 14, 2004, the dispute was resolved when Maverick shares owned by Madonna and Dashev were purchased — which effectively exiled the two of them from the company as it was now a wholly owned subsidiary of Warner Music Group. Oseary, meanwhile, remained CEO. In August 2006 the band Lillix, which at the time was signed to the label, claimed that the label no longer exists and that all the artists were now handled by Warner Bros. directly."
I still sing Nick Kamen songs! I know who he is!
But it's a good point. Almost anyone who's gotten a nudge from Vadge has not ended up doing very well *coughBritneycough*
♥ Threadkilla!
Taking slang to a HO. NUDDA. LEBEL!~ For real, eh?
Submitted by Meeshie on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 11:08am.
The sea hag did this in the 80's with her then "boy toy" Nick Scotti. We all know how well that turned out (as you all ask "who's Nick Scotti?"). Dumb bitch.
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You mean Nick Kamen? She even played back up singer for him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpCH0Y3IQHM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q56M5OZS1A8
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`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>·´¯`.¸¸..><((((º>
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
*ruminates on the phrase "Madonna's classic songs."*
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
Taking slang to a HO. NUDDA. LEBEL!~ For real, eh?
Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 10:36am.
I'm surprised she didn't get him in a movie but as I recall, her movie career didn't take off either so....
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Well, she's a "director" now...so she could do that, couldn't she?
Maybe even Vadge knows Jesus's limits! LOL!
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Vadge is stingy even with her tricks...if she wanted she could have given him a full album deal through Maverick Records...she owns that label. But I guess even her is not as delusional to waste more money than she has to on her boy toy...is either that or her way to keep Jesus happy so he doesn't go and divulge intimate details to the tabloids.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
Every plastic surgery victim her age begins looking like a cat.
I'd go see the BabyJesus/Glamberace *OhSnap* Tour. So would you Michael K.
Riiiight. It's all part of his written (and signed) contract with the Vadge. We all know that.
Wait. Madge has a FILOFAX?
The sea hag did this in the 80's with her then "boy toy" Nick Scotti. We all know how well that turned out (as you all ask "who's Nick Scotti?"). Dumb bitch.
her face looks like it was made of clippings from priscilla presley plastic surgeries
www.lowbrowsophisticate.com
I've never seen Vadge so dicky whipped in my life.
"We Came From Light"???
Thats some NWO shit
Madonna...Her ego and vanity are so big that she cannot see that she became a joke and aprody of herself.
She looks hot in that picture... and lmao about JLO!
look at her. he earned it. enuf said.
And Jesus, he wants to go to Venus
Leaving Madge far behind
Take a balloon and go sailing
While Madge, Madge slowly dies...
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 02/25/2010 - 10:43am.
It's not who you know, but who you fuck.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
At lest he got something outta yodeling up that canyon. ***********************************************************************************************
My first purpose in life is bring joy and comfort to those I love, after that I'm just here to annoy folks.
http://www.steakandbjday.com/
Meanwhile, people with actual talent are still struggling to get careers. Disgusting.
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"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Madonna is rapidly moving toward the line between aging star and creepy-assed freak. Any day now. Any day...
grandma hands
Might not be any worse than her records if she also sets him up with her producers. He'll look good in videos.
Everything sounds better with "former high-class call girl" before it. - Michael K
It's not who you know, but who you fuck.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
I'm thinking his attempt at music will be hilarious. Can't wait!
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Douchechill!
Fame Whores.... fuck em!
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Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/27/2010 - 5:42pm.
This site should be fun only. The petty shit fucks up my buzz.
You don't want that. Or maybe you do, you sucio fuck! MK
I'm surprised she didn't get him in a movie but as I recall, her movie career didn't take off either so....
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Oh, joy! Can't wait...ok, I am lying.
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
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All that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you.
Not everyone needs to record an album! You're a freaking model, isn't that enough!? FUCK, why do so many celebrities feel the need to 'cross over' into other shit. It's not enough to act, you have to record an album. It's not enough to model, you have to act. It's not enough to be a pop star, you have to be a fashion designer. For crying out loud, do what you're good at doing and call it a day!
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink