The Villainess Always Wins!
Johnny Weir's arch rival Evan Lysacek (that's Licecheck if you wiggle for Weir) snatched the Ice King crown from former reigning Olympic champion Evgeni Plushenko last night. American Licecheck took gold, Russian Plushie took silver and the Japanese doll with the exquisite eyebrows known as Daisuke Takahashi took bronze. Johnny Weir took shit (aka 6th place). First, let's queef about Johnny.
To my amateur eyes, Johnny skated almost perfectly, as though he was gliding along the luscious mane of a silver unicorn. When he flailed his arms, the starts twinkled. When he landed his jumps, Lady CaCa's ass lips puckered. When the crystal enchantress of the ice twirled, Peta kicked a kitten. It was beautiful....but the judges did not co-sign this. The audience booed at his scores, and just when I was about to BOOOOO my figure skating obsessed friend (bitch even has a Torvill & Dean IM icon) checked me. According to that know-it-all bitch slut ho, even though Johnny has the gracefulness of a swan curtsying before the queen in the middle of a Spaghetti Factory (that shit is nice), his jumps just aren't as complicated as the other skaters. So the best Johnny could hope for was bronze. Way to break my boner.
As for Licecheck, while watching him masturbating his chest all over the ice, I thought to myself, "Tilda Swinton should wear that snake onesie as a gown to the Oscars. Actually, Evan should wear that onesie as a gown to the Oscars." And I bet he wears a maxi-pad on his pits, because dude sweats like Kirstie Alley when she hears the words, "We're out of donuts." Seriously, I thought the hot grease streaming out of his pores was going to melt the ice and turn that figure skating competition into a synchronized swimming competition. And Evan still would've won, because let's face it, the evil queen is good (that hurts).
Now for Plushenko! Wasn't that bitch mad?! HA! Plushie was throwing cuntfaces left and right during the medal ceremony. At one point, I thought he was going to leap towards the American flag and tear it to pieces with his bare teeth! Plushie did show his teeth backstage when he punched Evan in the crotch bone with his words. Plushie thinks he should've gotten the gold, because he did a quad and Evan did not. Plushie said, "It's not men's figure skating. Now, it's dancing."
Wow. Why haven't we been introduced, Plushie? Come sit next to me, I like the way you enunciate your cuntiness.
• 
That glittery snake around his neck is so Nolan Miller. Licecheck looked like Alexis Carrington, skating around the ice, happy that she pushed Krystle Carrington in the pool, AGAIN.
After her skate, she smiled, inhaling White Diamonds.
Weir was robbed!
@Condi:
You are <3 for the "one man Mardi Gras" comment.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
Plushie saying that quads should be a must-have element or else it's just dancing is about as dumb as saying that dunks should be required to win a basketball game. If Plushie want to do a sport that narrowly focused he should try ski jumping.
Oh please, like alot of male "figure skaters" aren't gay they are just in the closet or low key out of the closet. Johnny just chose not to hide it and is flamboyent about it. That fabulous gay bitch owned it. He should have gotten higher than 6th. And Plushenko really needs to shut his face because he wasn't anywhere near his best like he was years back. Part due to age, part due to pass injuries and part due to not having that hunger like he once did. Back then he was hungry for it. He had something to prove. Now its like he expected it because he is "Evgeni Plushenko." Uh you're gonna have to do alittle bit more than that bitch. First of all his performance was front loaded. The rest was just him skating about and blowing kisses. And that Elvis Stojko asshole needs to shut his face too.
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Please get the fuck out ---->
stephane FTW
Submitted by kitri on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 12:16pm.
I love Johnny as well but I love his good friend Stephane Lambiel, the 4th place guy, even more because he's the most artistic skater out there. Johnny and Stephane have been friends since they were thirteen. Too bad Steph's quadruple jumps were problematic for him last night. I feel worse for him than Johnny because he came back to compete after retiring from a serious injury couple of years ago, and was a 2-time world champion and Olympic silver medalist in '06.
Oh well, Evan can have his gold medal but he'll always be a greasy, ugly hedgehog who talked shit about my dear Johnny and Stephane. Even though Johnny doesn't have medals he's still going to be fabulous. Stephane didn't skate up to his potential last night, but at least he's still gorgeous and a nice person who never speaks ill of other competitors, unlike Evan. It doesn't hurt that Stephane is a sweet, charming person who speaks 5 languages and looks like this:
http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/8859/stephane14mq4.jpg
http://i10.tinypic.com/2w1wh84.jpg
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c265/amelie9340/stephane.jpg
http://blogs.rsr.ch/wp-content/old_content/info/2007/03/Lambiel.jpg
http://www.24heures.ch/files/imagecache/468x468/galeries/Gala-Patinage-v...
http://www.absoluteskating.com/interviews/2009lambielswissnat/1st.jpg
I've been thinking this, and Dick Button confirmed, so it must be true: Johnny's personality, sound bytes, and costumes are way more dazzling than his skating. I find his programs somewhat dull and his skating conservative. I think Evan, the Swiss dude, and the Japanese dudes to be much more lyrical AND athletic on the ice. In other words, JW does not tingle my no-no.
That whiny Russian bitch is full of hot air. Who cares if he had a quad; the majority of his jumps were either off-center or culminated in shoddy landings. I'm amazed he managed to keep his ass off the ice.
As for Johnny, he deserved to AT LEAST finish above the (also incredibly high on my gaydar) Canadian. A medal would have been a wonderful slap in the face to homophobic critics, though. And by the way, MK, he lives in Wayne, NJ.
Michael, does he play on your team?
:--)
Submitted by Mopa on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 10:49am.
LOL @ Alfalpha!
On a serious note, I don't see why the commentators at the Olympics were getting on Johnny's orientation so much. Evan seems a little zesty too. Shit, SCOTT HAMILTON seems zesty sometimes.
I loved every word of MK's post, and have loved every comment!
I hello-kitty-heart Johnny Weir
Weir should have finished higher than 6th, but his program was nowhere near as complicated, physically demanding, athletic or artistic as that of Lysacek or Plushenko. Weir did well, but I have to say it: at one point in one's career one needs to just STFU, put one's head down and DO IT. I'm sure he didn't endear himself to the judges, what with all the mouthing off and the hordes of squealing fangirls. Yeah yeah, I know they're not supposed to let stuff like that influence them, but Olympic judges are wildly conservative and of course they're going to go with serious, circumspect athletes like Lysacek, Plushenko and Takahashi over the one-man Mardi Gras that is Weir. He should have known that and acted accordingly. Yeah, I know - Johnny has to be Johnny, but would it have killed him to play the game for once and thus actually have had a shot at winning an Olympic medal?
This post was gold.
Love Johnny!
And to the person who called him Johnny Qweer, do you not realise what website you're on? BTW, it's spelled "MEDAL" not "metal", turd.
Evan did great. Plushie sounds like a sore loser.
Lysacek looks like Data from Star Trek The Next Generation in feathers.
I was cheering on Johnny Weir. But that Russian guy was as glittery gay as the podium got.
Johnny Qweir is not metal material. The best he has ever done was Bronze at the 08 worlds. That was because no one else showed up. To hell with Johnny Qweer.
I am a huge skating fan, I actually saw the world championship at Staples last year. Plushie is a world champ, fer sure, and was pretty undefeated for many years, but he did nothing to change his programs for the new system. Now, every element is judged with a plus or minus 3, and that is added or subtracted from the base values. For example, the footwork--Plushie is a level two, low base score, and poorly executed if you ask me. Evan is like a wind up doll, he has been coached and trained to make every swoop and arm swing-sadly, he has the musicality of a stone, but he has done all he can to compensate, and trained massively for this. He clearly deserved to win. His jumps were cleaner, his spins were faster, his movement between the jumps was more difficult and connected, and obv. his footwork (esp. those high kicks on those deer legs-hee)
Plushie was slow, sloppy, and barely held onto landings. The beginning he just skates around and ticks off jumps, there's no connection, and even then, it was barely. Kuddo's for the Quad Triple, few can do it, but Evan has landed quads, and he's the world champ for chrisssakes--he's not some lucky hack . . . grrrrr.
Plushie is a poor loser, and thinking a quad always wins is sooo 1998!
For my money, Johnny was robbed. His program wasn't more difficult, but he didn't fall . . . sigh . . . they just don't like him. He should have been forth (or maybe bronze)
Love both Japanese skaters, they have a true musicallity and smoothness to their skating--I felt they were under appreciated too)
Also love Lambiel--no one spins like that dude. He's a little past his prime, as far as his peak skating days, (Joubert too) (pardon my spelling) Not sure what they could have done to do better, but both hot guys!
For Johnny to bronze he needed competitors to fall, and they did. He should have not been placed lower than Patrick Chen (also a good skater just not all the way back after injury)
I would petition the judging here and flush out the homophobic assholes who can't do an objective job scoring. I'm not an Evan fan, but the evil queen earned her spot!
This was on too late last night so I tivo'd it. Can't wait to pop the popcorn and watch it tonight. Johnny Weir is the shit!
MK, this post had me laughing so much. Thank you for that!
I'm happy Evan won, Plushie just got on my nerves and seemed way too arrogant. Plus, he looks just like one of my friends, and that friend has a habit of being a complete jerk.
Was it fixed for Evan to win? Probably, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it any less. I really enjoyed Johnny too, but I can't say whether or not he really was underscored because other than watching figure skating on TV, I really know nothing about it.
The Swiss guy and the Japanese kid were also really good.
Johnny Weir skated his heart out (his technical score on Thursday was actually higher than the bronze medalist's--he got screwed royally in the "program components" score i.e. artistry, which is utter bullshit to me). Two problems with Weir: his big mouth against the judges and his sexual orientation. No way they would ever give the gold to someone that can't play the good heterosexual. Go ask Brian Orser. Regardless, I hope he feels content at his brilliant performance and the great audience response.
Truly, Plushenko deserved to win. Plushenko was the most daring and despite a few minor bobbles, he was the most proficient. It should have been Plushenko, Takahashi, then Lysacek (though I would have preferred to see Weir 3rd). Lysacek did a program that men were doing 16 years ago. No man has won without a quad since the 1994 Olympics. This preening, overtanned fancy pants has been hyped up and gifted scores for the past year or so. Fits in the mold quite nicely, safe, someone your mother could love.
Basically, Plushenko was a Ferrari with a few small scratches on it, and Lysacek was a shiny Ford Focus. Am I surprised the judges picked the Ford in North America? Puh-lease.
I hope Weir skates to "Tainted Love" during a performance. He'd do a great Marc Almond impersonation.
I thought I heard the announcers saying the quad was essentially worthless pointwise, so it wasn't worth the risk of falling to do it. That might be why someone who tried it and failed didn't suffer too many adverse effects in relation to their score.
Plushenko thought he was gonna walk in and get the gold handed to him. The man has a lot of athletic ability, but he wasn't solid in some of his landings and wasn't as fluid as he has been in the past. Not skating for 3 1/2 years will do that and you can't use your muscle to force grace like he was forcing his jumps.
Weir's routine was boring and not all that hard; lot of emo posing, though. That's all there is to him once you take away his costumes, over-the-top attention whore behavior, and his desire to be a Russian (probably to make his skating more "legitimate"). Seeing how the idea of practicing -just- occurred to him, he can sit and watch other people medal for a while. It might do him some good.
I have nothing but love for Daisuke Takahasi, though. I only stopped to watch the short program the other night because he looked so HAPPY doing his thing. I was sad for him last night when he wasn't flawless, but he was still upbeat and smiling.
I'd rather watch an engaging but imperfect skater than a damn machine.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 11:54am.
The one in the big photo appears to be a homosexual.
Care to come clean the Red Bull off my lappy screen?
I liked Johnny's performance the best, despite that small stumble in the beginning, it was a well-done performance all around, his choreography is really original (and i don't think the judges like him either but screw them!). Evan's was ok, Plushenko at least landed the quad, he does have mad skills even though he got the silver. Evan's landings were all perfect, but his performance was so simple. I actually like how the Swiss who came in 4th skated, and the Japanese kid's performance was really good despite him falling on his butt in the beginning, that fall actually made him stronger in the end.
"Mah Boo releasing his inner cunt is my porn." MK
Thank you Michael K for making my day. I was feeling sad and this post was magically delicious! LOLing all the way home....
Snake Man totally rocks! Those other little cry babies can take a hot shower.
i personally think it was the busted ass mullet that plushenko sports that did him in. he's obviously used to being queen of the trailor park in russia cuz that's how they role over there but that just wasn't flying with the glamorous judges
I am no fan of Weir's but I think he was underscored big time. I think the judges just plain don't like him. I don't think that greasy pig should have won the gold medal either.
I've always hated Plushenko and was pissed when he decided to make a come back. So arrogant and he blew kisses at the judges which should have automatically disqualified him. Go Evan
And Johnny should have scored higher but he's the only skater that has a reality show, so who cares?
I watched the men's skating for Johnny, I stayed for Evan. And that souless piece of shit Russian is just a washed-up flashback from the 80's. Sooo manly ... as if men's figure skating was manly to begin with, bitch please!
Love Johnny though, and loved his crown of roses. It made staying up that late worth it.
I loved Johnny's routine...even if it had sucked, I would have loved it, because I LOVE that music from City of Angels...I thought he was awesome,though, and while I think the Villainess was better, I thought Johnny was cheated with his score...I thought he was bronze-worthy, at least (FWIW, I'm no expert!).
Lysacek did not do harder jumps than Weir. They both did 8 triple jumps and 4 double jumps. Neither of them did a quad. Their base value on technical elements was almost a tie. Lysacek beat Weir on the subjective scoring areas, GOE (Grade of Execution) and PCS (Program Component Score). PCS is basically the same as the old "artistic" mark. That is the mark the judges use to hold up skaters they like and to screw skaters they don't like. Weir was clearly underscored in both of his programs. The crowd certainly thought so since they booed both of his scores. Also, commentators and ex-skaters like Scott Hamilton, Robin Cousins, and Elvis Stojko have said they think Johnny should have placed higher. Hamilton and Stojko can't stand Johnny (too girly) so for them to admit that he was underscored speaks volumes.
I got misty-eyed when Johnny Weir skated. I don't keer if it wasn't complicated enough--it was beautiful and soulful. I think he's happy to have skated so well and gotten the reaction he did. Don't think he was aiming for a medal, knowing how the Olympic system is so contemptuous of him. But it was great...so proud of Johnny!
*blows nose into glittery hankie*
I like Plushie. I love a good, ice cold Russian beyotch. But his hairstyle is stuck in the 80s and when he did a body roll I felt like I'd been viciously eye-raped.
@ soultronic, I've seen many other comments on websites that say Licecheck is gay.
I HATE HATE HATE it when Scott Hamilton and the other commenters keep giggling whenever they talk about Johnny Weir. What the hell is so funny? The guy qualified for the Olympics, you shitheads! He deserves the same respect as all the other athletes.
Weir should have chosen the music to Robot Unicorn Attack.
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http://diaryofakahnartist.blogspot.com/
Vancouver can commence with the closing ceremonies right now, because after that glittery bitchfest--GAME OVAH!! That shit cannot be topped. I was rooting for the greased up villain, so it's all good in my hood. I mean dude was wearing a sparkly snake. How can you not love it?
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Daisuke Takahashi is a man after my own heart.
From his wiki:
Takahashi began figure skating when he was 8 years old. When a skating rink was built near his house, he went with his mother to watch the skaters at the rink, and afterwards, enrolled in the figure skating club. His mother intended for him enroll in the ice hockey club, but he didn't like the protective gear of ice hockey, so he enrolled in the figure skating club, instead.
Johnny Weir was robbed, even in the earlier round he deserved a higher score..perhaps if he skated to Bad Romance, his magical unicorn powers would have granted him gold...but I'm glad Licecheck put Plushie in his place, he arrogant vibe was getting annoying. Licecheck did do the best though, it looked so natural. I also wonder if looking the tallest helps, he looks like a greasy giant on the ice. Japanese guy was strangely hot, I think it's the Dragon Ball Z hair.
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Plushenko deserved to win. I'm glad he's being a big bitch about it. Makes it all more exciting. I love the cattiness... not to mention the flamboyant costumes. Johnny Weir was fucking robbed too.
Plushenko deserved to win. I'm glad he's being a big bitch about it. Makes it all more exciting. I love the cattiness... not to mention the flamboyant costumes. Johnny Weir was fucking robbed too.
Plushenko looks like the bad guy in those 80s movies. The one that was bullying the Karate Kid.
Lysachek looks like one of those greeks that cut their last name in half. You know it was originally Lysachekenoupolous. His sister was hwat.
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"One Shot, One Shot!"
Ronnie 2, Townies 0
Seems to me figure skating is a closet sport, we all know teh gheys are out there but god forbid you reveal it! Nevermind them Johnny, you'll always be the sparkly, golden ice princess of my heart!
-I don't understand a system that rewards people who fall and keeps down those (Weir) that stand up and execute beautifully. I think the system was out to get him, you could see Weir wasn't surprised that he was robbed.
Soultronic...
Every single skater wore their sexual orientation on their sleeve and on every other part of their body!!
Scott Hamilton basically said that Evan skated better but that Plushie's had harder moves because of the quad. It also depends on when they do the jumps because if they do more complicated stuff in the second half they get higher points.
Weir was FABULOUS!
Is it just me or were the japanese guys hot!
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Famous last words "Lizzy, get off your fat, lazy ass and go chop me some fire wood" Mr. Borden
I wonder if Johnny has ever taken it doggy-style on the ice?
Submitted by mzmarymac on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 12:41pm.
No, Plushie...you didn't lose because Lycocek "danced" better than you...you lost because he skated better than you! Your jumps were completely lopsided in the air and you had to fight for just about every landing. Your quad was a bit cheated, by the way, anyway. Evan skated an almost flawless program. Oh...and by the way....you trying to sound like a skating "purist." The history of skating is the performance of edges and smooth moves on ice. The jumps came much, much later. It isn't all about the jumps, or it wouldn't be set to music, ya Russian fuckface! Now go home and shove your silver medal up your ass cheeks and spare us your petty, ungrateful attitude. Your lucky you got any medal at all-you skated lousy!
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WAHOOOOOOO!!!! *golf claps*
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)
I haven't commented here in forever (only because I'm rarely at a computer these days), but since I'm a huge figure skating fan I just have to add my 2 cents!
1. Lysacek did deserve to win, IMO. He didn't have a quad, but his jumps and spins were executed better than Plushenko's. His footwork blew Plush's out of the water as well.
2. I love both Johnny and Stephane Lambiel, but Johnny deserved to have a higher overall score than Lambiel. Lambiel had a quad, but he baaaarely hung on to it; come to think of it, he barely hung on to any of his jumps. Lambiel is a gorgeous skater, but he doesn't have a triple axel. Maybe it's just me in thinking this, but when you're competing at this level, you need a triple axel.
3. It breaks my heart that Brian Joubert of France did as horribly as he did. He's a gorgeous man who skates so powerfully (he's about as masculine as figure skating gets), but unfortunately he buckles under pressure... a lot. I'm still bitter about his performance on Tuesday.
And now this figure skating geek will shut up :)
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
He looks like Jimmy Nail.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
That face...he looks like an aardvark.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Oh...and by the way...the way the scoring goes, it is a build up of points. While Johnny's program was clean, it did not have enough elements to build up to a score better than what he received. That said, I also believe he should have gotten better than he did, but also did have a few foibles along the way, so it is not as if he was completely robbed. That said...the clown should not be on the podium. If anyone deserved a medal, it was the poor Charlie Chaplain guy whose skate lace broke in the middle of his program and he magically fixed it within 3 minutes and got back on the ice and finished his program with class. THAT's SHOWBIZ!!!!
No, Plushie...you didn't lose because Lycocek "danced" better than you...you lost because he skated better than you! Your jumps were completely lopsided in the air and you had to fight for just about every landing. Your quad was a bit cheated, by the way, anyway. Evan skated an almost flawless program. Oh...and by the way....you trying to sound like a skating "purist." The history of skating is the performance of edges and smooth moves on ice. The jumps came much, much later. It isn't all about the jumps, or it wouldn't be set to music, ya Russian fuckface! Now go home and shove your silver medal up your ass cheeks and spare us your petty, ungrateful attitude. Your lucky you got any medal at all-you skated lousy!