The Photoshop Awards: Kelly Bensimon On Playboy
Playboy must be aiming for a record low in sales for the month of March, because they put Kelly Bensimon's constipated praying mantis face in the same issue as the John Mayer interview. Actually, I take all the hate back since Kelly has the perfect face to accurately represent a John Mayer quote. Brilliant move, Playboy.
Just like I'm always curious to see my poop shapes in the toilet after a #2, I'm curious to see how Playboy handled Kelly's "at war" titties. Is there a peace treaty tool for Photoshop? Anybody who has seen Kelly's breasts (click here if you haven't) know that while she sits front row at ALL fashion shows, her titties are forced to stand at opposite ends of the room. And it looks like her belly button is taking sides in this feud. Bitch's loyalty obviously lies with Kelly's left tit.
Here's another shot for Bethenny to line her cat's litter box with:
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Wow looks hot
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Hollywood Gossip
That is the belly button of a tummy tuck. Trust me!
she has a man stomach.. i mean this chick and useless twat heidi montag on playboy? and the magazine is still around? jesus.
in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please "don't breed or buy while homeless animals die" and support animal shelters!
I went off to remind myself who she is again (thanks for the link, MK:) and realized that I'm really glad she's covering her tits in these pics.
Do not want.
♥ Threadkilla!
And it isn't in education. It's history. It's poetry...It's in DListed.
~ J.D. Salinger, adapted by caprica six
Why does she look like she’s in the early stage of her second trimester?
You know, I just don't care enough to even comment. There are just too many things wrong with her. I can't even begin.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Who in the hell would want to see her nude? Especially with those horrible boobs of hers! My boobs may sag a little (sorry, TMI,I know) but at least they play nice with each other, one isn't trying to fight the other, like her boobs, lol.
Who is this?
It's like her belly button is talking to me. Obviously she used the same budget plastic surgeon who did her wonktits on the relocation of the navel during her failed tummy tuck. And crikey, even her eyes are different shapes and at different levels. Playboy managed to make Tara Reid look nearly human ---- I can't even imagine how bad this Kelly bitch looks in real life if these are their post-Photoshop efforts on her.
Awwww...in the second pic, it's Kelly hugging her newest boyfriend from Venice Italy....Luca Christiano...
oh my God he has so much charisma....he's soooo squeezable!
And the best part he can't file a restraining order against her when she finally kicks his ass to the gutter
oh Kelly is gonna flip a bitch!
That photo shop guy made a big boo boo...they let her wide ass man waist show through all the ribbonry!
He was supposed to sharpie that shit OUT!!
But I guess if that got covered up what would be left besides her goofy SUPERMODEL mug.
they already concealed her "Frankenstein Escapes" boobs, her Michael Phelps Shoulders...
Hell my grandmother would walk around with less clothes than this.....and look better than Kelly Ben Simoan!!!!!
Whats up with her off center navel!!?!?
Submitted by LisaH on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 3:22pm.
not nearly enough photoshop. what is going on with her midsection?
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I think the aliens are ready to burst out.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
not nearly enough photoshop. what is going on with her midsection?
well, the classy days of Playboy now I can see are LLOONNGG gone. Guess they will put anyone on the cover, and invite any type of trash to their parties...the uglier, trannier and just plain nastier the better. It would be an insult to me to be asked to be in Playboy, first they put that Frankenstein Tara, Horsey Face Heidi, and now this train wreck, bitch from hell with the wonky east west breastes....not to mention the tranny hit parade at their Superbowl party. Someone get Hef's cataracts removed so he can see what is happening to his empire...they are making Juggs and all those 2nd rate mags look downright classy.
most unsexy playboy cover ever. hers eyes are deadzones.
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Must be the availability of internet porn that makes these pix too boring for a second glance.
At least her belly button is centered in the bottom picture. I just looked at the other picture and her tits ARE jacked up, aren't they? Bad boob job?
Who the hell IS this lady?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Soooo much photoshop.
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http://rxhollywood.wordpress.com/
Submitted by beakers bitch on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:56pm.
Eh, I don't know how sneaky she was. After season 1 she wouldn't shut up about Bethaney in her interviews. I honestly think she was high a lot of the time because she showed up super late for things and didn't remember conversations that were shot for the show. She seemed very out of it and forgetful.
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVE this therory
they'll put anyone on the cover of this shit mag these days.
can we start a petition to get betty white on there instead?
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:21pm.
The thing with Kelly was that she was bitchy but in this very clever way where there was nothing overt. Just very very sneaky.
Eh, I don't know how sneaky she was. After season 1 she wouldn't shut up about Bethaney in her interviews. I honestly think she was high a lot of the time because she showed up super late for things and didn't remember conversations that were shot for the show. She seemed very out of it and forgetful.
Is this the one that beat up her boyfriend?
You just lost one.. What a bum bum..
Her belly button is waaaay off center. Also, on the cover it looks as if they took the abdomen of a much larger person and slapped it on the pic. Sloppy.
Think they pinched her face enough?
That's how she looks AFTER photoshop? I'd ask for my money back. FAIL.
jack - go head but warning sand and fuckee might get jealous )
snowpiece's picture
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:19pm.
beaker! ahahahahahah I forgot about The Ambassoder of Wool!!!!
After Jersey the NY ones are my faves, LMAO at Ramona's eyes and creepy Alex and Simon!!!
I wonder what the Discountess thinks of posing in Playboy. What does she say in her book?
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"When posing in Playboy, a woman of proper breeding must trim the va-jay-jay."
Eddie - mind if I snake this for my signature?
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Submitted by Eddie on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:34pm.
I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her
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hey hey hey now... don't bring me in to this shit!! ahahahahahahahaha LMFAO!!!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Playshit
Coma Caca!
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I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her
Snowy, ahhhhhh! I friggin hate when the Discountess (good name) insists on being referred to all the time as Countess but then says something like she did on the rerun I saw last night. "I hate when someone acts that they're better you."
*steps on soap box*
NO ONE WHO EATS PORK CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT PIGGIE CARNAGE. Don't like it?! Don't eat it.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:14pm.
I watched the show, too. Kelley got on my nerves, actually they all did a little bit, but Kelley more so than anybody else. Simon is creepy and cheesy, but I find him hilarious with some of his wardrobe.
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The thing with Kelly was that she was bitchy but in this very clever way where there was nothing overt. Just very very sneaky.
Ang - I agree....Piggie carnage is yucky.
beaker! ahahahahahah I forgot about The Ambassoder of Wool!!!!
After Jersey the NY ones are my faves, LMAO at Ramona's eyes and creepy Alex and Simon!!!
I wonder what the Discountess thinks of posing in Playboy. What does she say in her book?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by Ang on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:14pm.
Thanks flatsy.
Fishsticks -- the ads to the right... they alternate between cute clothes and dead piggies.
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OOOPps! I looked after you said that. I think I mentally blocked it out.
She still hasn't committed suicide?
*** what goes down, must come up ***
Thanks flatsy.
Fishsticks -- the ads to the right... they alternate between cute clothes and dead piggies.
Shouldn't the ambassador for wool be wearing clothes??
I watched the show, too. Kelley got on my nerves, actually they all did a little bit, but Kelley more so than anybody else. Simon is creepy and cheesy, but I find him hilarious with some of his wardrobe.
Submitted by lifeislikecake on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:08pm.
fishy, yeah I could probably tolerate Ramona if I didn't have to look at her, but her eyes creep me the fuck out:
http://www.dlisted.com/files/ramonasingerbeautiful.jpg
And her husband started to get on my last fucking nerve. Alex! That's her name. How the fuck did they even get on the show?
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I know! They live in brooklyn ahahaaaa Did you see the episode where they were lounging in the KIDDIE POOL!!! ahahaaaa
Submitted by Ang on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:04pm.
OT:
Is there any way we can get rid of the baby piggy carnage ads? >:[
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????????????
@ Ang on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 1:04pm.
Resize your browser to ~ 7" wide. You'll be able to read recent comments, but don't have to see the slaughterhouse.
fishy, yeah I could probably tolerate Ramona if I didn't have to look at her, but her eyes creep me the fuck out:
http://www.dlisted.com/files/ramonasingerbeautiful.jpg
And her husband started to get on my last fucking nerve. Alex! That's her name. How the fuck did they even get on the show?
Those are the worst fake boobs ever, she has a huge waist to boot. I would pay money not to see her naked.
OT:
Is there any way we can get rid of the baby piggy carnage ads? >:[
Playboy has become a fucking joke.
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You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
and you don't mess around with Jim
- Jim Croce
Submitted by lifeislikecake on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 12:58pm.
fishy, i watched also, they were all cunts, but the bitches that bothered me most were Ramona and the broke ginge
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Ramona is amazing in her obnoxiousness. I kind of like that about her because she doesn't even pretend to be a sweetheart like Kelly does. Broke ginge? Alex? Jill? Alex&simon give me the CREEPS.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 02/11/2010 - 12:09pm
Her tits look normal in that pic. Then she goes and gets the most awful fake ones.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys