Friday, February 5th 2010
Snowpocalypse '10 Is Making Everyone Go Crazy
In case you haven't been informed, the DC area will look like the inside of one of Lindsay Lohan's nostrils this weekend due to a shit load of snow. While many are stocking up on the necessities (i.e. booze, condoms, jerky, porn), the infamous Jim Kosek from Accuweather.com is losing his MIIIIIIIIND. Seriously, dude needs to stop smoking snow in the alley behind the studio, and start smoking a bowl instead. Oh Boy.....get yourself a bong!
(Thanks Shera)
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beautiful show...
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Celebrity News
Dude, I think he just shot a load in his pants. He is finally the highlight of the evening news--Let this idiot's 15 milliseconds of fame be over already. It snowed in DC, really? Wow. I think the world can now come to an end. Hell, I mean Washington, DC has finally frozen over.
It's a sick sad world after all, and I am one of the commentators.
Hmmm - I'm from VA (my mom is still there, snowed in), and I don't understand where all this "snowpocalypse" stuff is coming from. We've had storms like this before (anyone remember 1983?). Why does everyone treat this as something fantastically new? I think the annoying weather guy was actually trying to be facetious...
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If I wanted something covered in cum and gold eyeshadow I'd steal Adam Lambert's hoody. --Helen Killer @ Regretsy
Beautiful Snow
Oh! The snow, the beautiful snow,
Filling the sky and the earth below;
Over the house tops, over the street,
Over the heads of the people you meet;
Dancing,
Flirting,
Skimming along,
Beautiful snow! It can do nothing wrong.
Flying to kiss a fair lady's cheek,
Clinging to lips in a frolicsome freak;
Beautiful snow, from the heavens above,
Pure as an angel and fickle as love!
Oh! The snow, the beautiful snow!
How the flakes gather and laugh as they go!
Whirling about in its maddening fun,
It plays in its glee with everyone.
Chasing,
Laughing,
Hurrying by,
It lights up the face and it sparkles the eye;
And even the dogs, with a bark and a bound,
Snap at the crystals that eddy around.
The town is alive, and its heart in a glow,
To welcome the coming of beautiful snow.
How the wild crowd go swaying along,
Hailing each other with humor and song!
How the gay sledges like meteors flash by -
Bright for a moment, then lost to the eye!
Ringing,
Swinging.
Dashing they go
Over the crest of the beautiful snow:
Snow so pure when it falls from the sky,
To be trampled in mud by the crowd rushing by;
To be trampled and tracked by the thousands of feet
Till it blends with the horrible filth in the street.
Once I was pure as the snow - but I fell:
Fell, like the snowflakes, from heaven - to hell;
Fell, to be tramped as the filth of the street;
Fell, to be scoffed, to be spit on, and beat.
Pleading,
Cursing,
Dreading to die,
Selling my soul to whoever would buy,
Dealing in shame for a morsel of bread,
Hating the living and fearing the dead.
Merciful God! have I fallen so low?
And yet I was once like this beautiful snow!
Once I was fair as the beautiful snow,
With an eye like its crystals, a heart like its glow;
Once I was loved for my innocent grace,
Flattered and sought for the charm of my face.
Father,
Mother,
Sisters all,
God, and myself, I have lost by my fall.
The veriest wretch that goes shivering by
Will take a wide sweep, lest I wander too nigh;
For all that is on or about me, I know
There is nothing that's pure but the beautiful snow.
How strange it should be that this beautiful snow
Should fall on a sinner with nowhere to go!
How strange it would be, when the night come again,
If the snow and the ice struck my desperate brain!
Fainting,
Freezing,
Dying alone,
Too wicked for prayer, too weak for my moan
To be heard in the crash of the crazy town,
Gone mad in its joy at the snow's coming down;
To lie and to die in my terrible woe,
With a bed and a shroud of the beautiful snow!
John Whittaker Watson
Submitted by sugamama5000 on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 12:54pm
My mother and her mother are from the deep south. (Alabama) My brother and I were born and raised in DC. I had to turn in my "DC native" card when it was found out that I hated go go. The only song I ever liked was "Doing The Butt" by EU when it was in the Spike movie.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by A Noun _is a pe... on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 2:08pm.
"The other question in the poll asked if you would smack a bitch for moving the lawn chairs out of the parking space you just cleared. It was determined that was grounds for justifiable homicide."
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fLolll. concur this determination of grounds. when a bitch damn well almost brings about a fibrillation due to shoveling 8" of snow in a 12 foot radial square around their car and some bloke later tries to "park in the cleaned up spot" i'd go all lawn-chair-Walmart on them too.
Submitted by Mopa on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 7:09am.
"Well, considering we were supposed to get a total of 6 to 12 inches here near Reading, PA and there was already 10 inches at midnight last night and it snowed heavily all night and still is, I'm as crazy as this guy right now. The snow is halfway up the door when I try to open it. I'm not even going to try to shovel it. I just closed the door and got on dlisted. My daughter turns 16 tomorrow and we were supposed to have a party today. I guess I'll just have to party with dlisted instead."
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Happy b-day to your daughter! Big year, 16. Sounds like you really are trapped by the snow. Funny how most of us DLister's log onto this site immediately in response to anything.
Here in Baltimore, we are not calling it Snowpocalypse.
One local TV station took a poll and the winner was Snow-torious B.I.G.
The other question in the poll asked if you would smack a bitch for moving the lawn chairs out of the parking space you just cleared. It was determined that was grounds for justifiable homicide.
g-afternoon everyone. about 7" here in central NJ. glad to hear that nyc got hardly any accum., as that's where my movements largely are. hope anyone whose lost power gets it restored soon.
hope everyone is pacing themselves with the storm-boozing.
ttfn.
yeeah, so I was gonna complain about the rain here in SoCali ... but I see it's walking on sunshing compared to all y'all east & north.
We had about 28" here too, it has finally stopped.
Pgh airport is closed & the bishop also decreed that Catholics don't have to go to mass this weekend.
Same here. Nice to see another native. I don't bump into to many of them.
Same here as well. Let me tell u how much of a "native" I am. I am part Indian (the O.G. Natives), one great grand loved and fought for the Confederacy and another is a descendant of George Washingon's black hand side of the family. My fam goes back 5 gens in DC/VA. AND I'm a card carrying Hot Slut!
Ill fitting suit- that button is about to *** POP ***
Submitted by sugamama5000 on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 12:24pm.
Same here. Nice to see another native. I don't bump into to many of them.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by sugamama5000 on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 12:24pm.
"Up to 28 inches now."
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That one sentence was all I could see on the side, I've never clicked so fast in my life. What a disappointment to find out you were talking about snow :<
Up to 28 inches now. Called my niecey poo - all is well. First drink of the day? Check. First twist of the day? In progress. The closer u live to DC (and im a born and raised DC native, stank u very much) the greater ur chances of having power. VA always gets fucked when it comes to any type of storm.
Submitted by Paquita on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 8:13am
I don't have a daughter. I like baby sitting other peoples kids and then sending them back home when I get tired of their yapping.
Now that is the way to have kids.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:05am
Thank you for explaining that to the people who don't understand DC folks reaction to this storm. Right now, I'm glad that the power still works in my building and it's not too cold in my apartment.
I live near a metro stop that is above ground and there are NO buses servings my area so I'm stuck. Good thing my food and the cat's food is set to last us at least a week. Metro better be up and running by Tuesday because I need to return my Blockbuster DVDs.
On a good note, I might not have class on Monday. I hate that teacher anyway and can't wait for this class to be over with.
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
@ onthefringe - Thanks...VA has a number of power outages, but I think MD is having more problems with that. Hopefully, we'll keep it.
And thanks about my doggy! She is as sweet as she is cute...and she LOVES snow! Well, until it becomes too deep for her little Corgi legs...like now.
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Wow. Sorry guys. Plus I have friends and family in the DC/Delaware area. And I live in Minneapolis, so I know what a pain this can be (the most one-time snowfall we've had to deal with in the years that I've been here was 28"). Sounds like a wet, heavy snow too. Would have been better if the temps were a little colder, as the snow would have been lighter and fluffier. Oh well. Just rememeber: the sun'll come out...tomorrow...bet your bottom dollar...come what may...Well, maybe not tomorrow. But eventually.
I survived the Blizzard of '78 in Massachusetts, so I'm jaded. We actually had to walk and drag wagons to the store because the roads were impassable. It was getting to be Donner Party-esque. I had three weeks off of school.
This weatherman needs to calm the fuck down. Nothing like riling people up over something we all have NO CONTROL OVER.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
Memories of the year that lies behind us
Wishes for the new year yet to come
And it stands to reason that good friends in season
Make you feel that life has just begun
@disraeli_ears: hope you don't lose power. That always sucks.
p.s. cute puppy-dog
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Corporate whores:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cam3hFUENQ
Submitted by onthefringe on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 11:12am.
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But the wind is making it colder than the north side of a witch's tit.
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Or as my Dad would say, it's cold enough to freeze the nuts off a bridge. Whatever that means. :)
The local weather guys here in NYC are looking a bit foolish since they were predicting 3-6 inches and we have zero accumulation.
But the wind is making it colder than the north side of a witch's tit.
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Corporate whores:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cam3hFUENQ
Ok...we have gotten between 18 and 24 inches here...3 trees have collapsed under the weight of the snow...I just hope we don't lose power.
And I know some of you jaded far Northerners are like "what is the big deal?" Well...it isn't that big of a deal IF your region is used to this and well-prepared to deal with it. The DC area does not get huge amounts of snow like this and resources are strained. DC, VA, and MD have all blown their snow removal budgets for this winter by wide margins....
So yeah, the whole "having to stay at home for a day" is not a big deal...but when the region is straining to clear transportation routes and people start missing work (like possibly ME on Monday...who has already lost a lot of leave to snow and sickness this winter) it becomes a bigger deal.
I will admit that people going to the grocery store and buying up all the stupid refrigerated crap was just dumb panic.
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And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
BTW I'm all for throwing this weather moron off a cliff.
I have been in Edmonton in January so I know it snows and is fucking COLD up there.
It just pisses me off that we got about 3X as much as they predicted.
Usually there will be all kinds of snow alerts and we get a dusting at best.
anyone been to russia?? THAT's SNOW!
Wow, people are pussies down there. 14-22 inches of snow is not that big a deal. So what, you spend a day at home?! Big Woop!
Snowpocalypse my ass. I am in NYC and we don't even have an inch right now.
But the subways (under the ground ones!!) are ALL running local "because of the weather". NO express trains. What the fuckity fuck?
*Uses snow shovel to hit weather dude over the head*
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All-in with nothin'
To me, the guy was annoying. I would change the channel.
*Snickers as a Canadian reading this thread*
This guy is GOOOOOOD. Mmmmmm mmmmmm! I love it when weather guys get their wood-on. Ever notice that the ones on The Weather Network are fully erect with dilated pupils when there's an intense low-front encroaching?
These weather guys REALLY love their jobs.
I am jealous.
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"... the wailing lesbian fetus known as Justin Bieber." - Michael K
I am in THE MIDDLE of this mess. Snowed the fuck in. But I have food and supplies. Believe ME, I have food and SUPPLIES!
Still snowing.
It has taken 3 men 2 hours to shovel my driveway and there are idiots on snowmobiles going up and down the highway by my house.
I think I should start watching him...he's fun o watch. The only weather"person" I liked is CNN's Mari Ramos
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
It's not snowing here in Boston........the entire state of Massachusetts is free and clear......... HA ha!
Morning peeps...Well it still snowing here in DC area. My parents are visiting but of course their flight got canceled, who knows when they will get here.
I spent yesterday and will spend all day today, drinking i my couch..fun times!
Tequila Tax, how funny of your daughter "she was not impressed" LOL
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
tu puta madre
We got 20 inches last night, can't even open a door to let dog and cat out. Great. Won't stop snowing until late tonight. 100,000 without power in Maryland. Thank god for wood stoves!
Well, considering we were supposed to get a total of 6 to 12 inches here near Reading, PA and there was already 10 inches at midnight last night and it snowed heavily all night and still is, I'm as crazy as this guy right now. The snow is halfway up the door when I try to open it. I'm not even going to try to shovel it. I just closed the door and got on dlisted. My daughter turns 16 tomorrow and we were supposed to have a party today. I guess I'll just have to party with dlisted instead.
The guy on The Weather Channel seems as if he's trying to be Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
There's 21" of snow in my driveway here near Pittsburgh, we were supposed to get 6-10".
Somebody grab a Zanax for this unfortunate soul...WTF. My brother's a meterologist and I sent him this to ponder.
Submitted by TequilaTax on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 2:08am.
I just hope it keeps snowing and snowing so I don't have to go to work Monday morning after the Super Bowl!! (Which I usually don't even remember).
Submitted by Claire_Bear on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 2:18am.
She was not impressed. at. all.
Sweet story. :)
I moved to the DC area from N. Cali over 2 years ago and have been bitching to my hubby every winter that it hasn't been snowing here like I thought it would be. Now it FINALLY is. Just in time since we're moving back to N. Cali this summer. We took our little one out in the snow and we were so excited for her. She was not impressed. at. all. Just thought I'd share that.
Submitted by Kimber on Sat, 02/06/2010 - 1:40am
Thank you so much. I've watched my fair share of british programing thanks in part to PBS. I wish I could afford to get the BBC on cable but that won't be happening soon.
Sorry for our disappointing weather. (Or at least how us DC people react to it) Personally, I don't see what the big deal is. It will all melt in about a week. Didn't people still have enough food from the snow storm that happened two weeks ago?
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I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages. - Pet Shop Boys
Blizzard conditions must provoke some bizarre post-traumatic stress reaction. Most of these weathermen were probably bundled in Michelin snowsuits, coiled in 9 ft. scarves then hobbled by three pairs of thick socks and boots to protect them from snow when they were children.
C'mon, it’s snow not nuclear fallout!
Tequila Tax... "I'm a bilingual illiterate...I can't read in 2 languages." I've been a dlister for years but never read the comments... LOVE your sign off. Just saw PSB in London.
Hey dementa,
LOL I wish being snowed in = sex. My bf decided whisky was the best way to beat the storm and is passed out on my lap with my Notebook on his head.
And PS I just moved to DC from CO and this snow is disappointing me... I was hoping for some crazy shit!