An Empress In Manhattan
That right there is the luckiest Jennifer Convertible in the world......
Last night in my fair Hamlet, we received a visit from an angel from heaven. The Empress of Lucite glided into town on a lucite chariot (or maybe she flew Frontier Airlines) to sign copies of her contribution to art house cinema at Rick's Cabaret in NYC. Yes, my fellow New Yorkers, that is why all the hos on the stroll took the night off (local holiday) and why every single drugstore was sold out of Wet 'N Wild lip liner.
Since Shauna Sand is my personal Banana Jesus, I thought about going to Rick's to have her bless my copy of the Gone with the Wind of leaked porn tapes, but just thinking about it gave me full body palpitations. So I think it's best if I continue to marvel at her natural beauty from afar. Okay, okay, the truth is the restraining order she has out against me still hasn't expired.
Here's the bubble in my lube at Rick's last night with her ladies-in-waiting.
• 
She is straight-up nasty. There is nothing attractive about this used-up hag. Too tanned, wrinkly skin, bleach-blonde with BLACK eyebrows, halved-grapefruit tits, pepperoni nipples, stripper shoes, prostitute clothes, and to top it all off she's not even pretty. Like, at all. I do not understand how she keeps bagging all those hot long-haired guys. She always has that dead-eyed stare, like she's high on something.
I hope Lorenzo is at least a good influence on their kids. Her whorishness should be grounds for him to have sole custody.
Someone PLEASE kidnap this whore and keep her chained in a basement somewhere far, far away.
She's so shiny and thin...her boobs look weird. The side boob is very nasty and I'm so glad I already ate. GAH!
"When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It's like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August."
GAH!!! I am so sick of this nasty-shit no-talent whore. Make her go away!
heidi montag in a couple of years...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
Looks like some silicone could leak any minute along with that sex tape.
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Corporate whores sucking on satan's cock:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cam3hFUENQ
Gross.
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What a whore! signing her "leaked" sex tape.
The makeup makes her face as plastic looking as her boobs.
She is either going to die soon or wind up a lonely old hag.
What a whore! signing her "leaked" sex tape.
The makeup makes her face as plastic looking as her boobs.
She is either going to die soon or wind up a lonely old hag.
does this bitch put her makeup on in the dark or what...wow
how come with all that surgery her boobs are halfway down her front, her nose is totally fucked up and she cannot seem to move her face...another stupid heinous looking bitch who paid too much money to look like shit. Dumb skank ho...and NASTY to boot...I will adopt your daughters and make them proud of me...since your only contribution is your worn out beef curtains, horrible hatchet job boobs, and frozen face...they need a real mom, and freak you are definately not it!!
I thought the air seemed a little less dirty yesterday with the whisper of lucite added to the mix .
Shauna has floated in to Gotham to give us all some much needed angelic natural beauty , demure sophistication and lady like Grace.
All hail the Empress of Lucite!
Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver.
Submitted by d-nice on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 2:46pm.
you forgot to mention coco. ... meh she doesn't offend me as much for some reason.
would you prefer snookie? 'cause that's where we're headed ya know.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...
it's 2010...time to retire the empress & chicken cutlets, they are SO LY.
time to fine a new icon for glamour, any nominations?
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:15pm.
Oooh. Second from the left, second from the bottom. Those memaws look hella unimpressed.
*
I suspect Nitty and Slutts went somewhere other than LV.... that's all I'm saying... *cough*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...
the saddest thing by far about this skank, is not only her kids, but she really and truly thinks she is sexy and beautiful...
why is she wearing a watch? Wouldn't a egg timer serve the same purpose?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...
I guess being a hobag doesn't disqualify her to be a parent. Why doesn't the dad have the kids? I mean he's not a worse mess than her right?
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I'm tired, I'm wasted, I love you darling.
It's true - Queen Elizabeth (the REAL queen, and not one of my nellie friends) asked my BFF Shauna to come spend a weekend at one of her country estates. It's reported that QEII is considering an image change, similar to the look that Shauna does so well, to add a bit more refinement to the Queen's appearance. Asked why she chose the Shauna Look to anyone else's look, the Queen replied "because she's a lady, cahn't you see? And I like the prim and proper look, the kind of look that only Miss Sands can adopt. I consider her a daughter now."
So there, all you Shauna Haters.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
She should be a real housewife!!
http://www.toptwitsblog.com/search/label/Real%20Housewives
http://www.TopTwitsBlog.com
All of the best celebrity tweets in one sarcastic package.
She has fingers for toes, and that gives me the barfs.
=-=-="Wah wah wah, I was attacked!"=-=-=-
She looks so...so miserable. And plastic. And gross.
Loved what you called the top pic, MK. "Absolutely stunning" - yeah, right!
**********
"No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart"
Meat curtains-ewwwwwwww
who is this bag of hardened syllicon and what is she famous for?
But . . . but she's helping the poor people in Haiti with her f*ck tape. Can't you see the relief box where johns have to throw in their spare change and pieces of lint that their hookers didn't want in the last thumbnail before they can be graced by the Empress' presence?? I don't see Phoebe Price contributing to the relief effort. That's why Lucite is my hero and PP can suck it :P
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Max-Arthur and Sharky for Hot Sluts of the Millenium!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf9wHkkNGUU
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 1:13pm.
@ El Bastardo
A couple of days ago one of the guys here posted a link to a full Shauna Sand porn tape, so I clicked on it (yes, I was curious :o( ), it was very long and extremely boring and gross. I think it was on some site called 'you jizz' or 'jizz tube' or something.
Guys, can you post a link to a full Shauna Sand tape for El Bastardo here?
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why dont you shout it from the rooftops? Damn....just curious...not gonna yank my bellrope over it....well...
@ El Bastardo
A couple of days ago one of the guys here posted a link to a full Shauna Sand porn tape, so I clicked on it (yes, I was curious :o( ), it was very long and extremely boring and gross. I think it was on some site called 'you jizz' or 'jizz tube' or something.
Guys, can you post a link to a full Shauna Sand tape for El Bastardo here?
Wow, everyone looks busted.
Her plastic titty-balls seem to be migrating south.
"Well, it is very nice to meet ya'll motherfuckers an' ho's." Shanaynay (Shane Dawson)
OMG....WHAT THE FUCK IN THE FUCK...what?!! I don't know where to start...or stop...the pictures...the gentle lady friends...OMG...the pole...the pole...the pole slap me now...the pole..LMAO! what a fucking mess!!!
Coma Caca!
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LMFAO Stoney!!! It has her slug trail on it... she can have it.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Forget Shauna -- who are those horribly ugly women in the other pictures? What a bunch of busted-up skanks.
You just know Shauna smells bad -- unwashed feet and smelly ass.
my whorey wife
poses like dat
my dick is raw
Three little girls are growing up with that for a role model, they are already fucked, sad. Growing up Lameass.
How can we get her to pose with this guitar?: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v118/turquoisemoleeater/guitars/Lucite...
In this chair?: http://www.decorpad.com/photos/2008/08/25/1854d96ea8ce.jpg
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I like boring things.
Thumbnail 13: Tranny Paris, Tranny Miley and Tranny Shaun...excuse me, REAL Shauna.
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Submitted by GoTexan40mg on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:46pm.
the sad thing about this whole situation is truly her children... women ( and mawhores too) like this should be sterilized... I mean come on now it can NOT be healthy for children to know their mum or daddy is in a sex tape .. Is it a 'sign' in Hollywood that you've 'made it' when one is 'leaked'?
For them publicity trumps kids...you know this!
This broad is a joke with no punchline.
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I am not a pussy.
God jack, why did you let bitch-in-the-hat have the couch?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
the sad thing about this whole situation is truly her children... women ( and mawhores too) like this should be sterilized... I mean come on now it can NOT be healthy for children to know their mum or daddy is in a sex tape .. Is it a 'sign' in Hollywood that you've 'made it' when one is 'leaked'?
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:36pm.
Shauna is starting to look OLD. And no amount of makeup is going to hide it. Her nose is totally butchered.
I saw her complete sex tape, her nipples look like they were attached with stitches, she kept putting her hair over them to hide it, poor thing. She kept her lucite heels on during sex. And don't let me start talking about the flapping gray wrinkled beef curtains.....
Link link linkitty link. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW!
Every time she smiles it makes my eye twitch.
♥ Threadkilla!
The Stains Movie! ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC03__ow-aQ
jack -
shes signing using cum ink
glows in the dark
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:36pm.
No way.
Thanks for not detailing the grey, flappy beef curtains...that was enough. :O ~~~ (< vomits)
Time flies when you're a drunken whore.~MK
@ jack : I'm pretty sure that tape wasn't the only thing leaking.
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
Submitted by Plecostomus on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:29pm.
@ Centy : ZING!
Runner-up : Abandoned Couch Meets Abandoned Cooch.
Abandoned Couch Meets Abundant Crotch. :o)
I don't know, whenever I see pictures of her with her girls, they don't look to trilled to be there. She is to self centered to be a good mom. I bet they leave at 18 and use her as a template for what NOT to do.
And her makeup is a joke. She looks like my kids when they played dress up and got into my makeup.
Who the fuck are the bitches in the fourth from last thumbnail? WHAT THE FUCK?
ok wow... she's at a SIGNING for her 'leaked sex tape'?!?! This just squirts desperation.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Submitted by Plecostomus on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 12:29pm.
@ Centy : ZING!
Runner-up : Abandoned Couch Meets Abandoned Cooch.
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LOL! Bless me father for I have sinned....
You win; I place.
I'm not worthy! :)
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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
Shauna is starting to look OLD. And no amount of makeup is going to hide it. Her nose is totally butchered.
I saw her complete sex tape, her nipples look like they were attached with stitches, she kept putting her hair over them to hide it, poor thing. She kept her lucite heels on during sex. And don't let me start talking about the flapping gray wrinkled beef curtains.....