Tameka Did It
Usher is crying to the police in Atlanta, because he claims someone snatched $1 million worth of jooree, furs and electronic shit from the back of his SUV. This is exactly why my mother always made us throw jackets and blankets over our bags from Mervyn's.
According to the police report, Usher says that while he was shopping inside of an AT&T store, a Chevy Impala pulled up next to his SUV in the parking lot. The report goes on to say that a young dude jumped out of the Impala, broke open one of the SUV's doors and grabbed all of Usher's expensive shit. Usher added that most of the stuff the thieves took were supposed to be Christmas pressies.
If you're reading this story with an "Is that the best story you can come up with?" side-eye, then you're not alone. This story is the dirt flake in a tall glass of milk.
Usher thinks he's so slick. When Usher sadly announced to Tameka that Christmas was canceled due to grinchy thieves stealing all the presents, she pretended to be disappointed but she was secretly smiling inside knowing that the player got played. You can't trick a gold digger!
And why in the hell did Usher buy Tameka a fur coat? Tameka spends of thousands of dollars on getting fur waxed off her back! Why would she want to add more?
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Usher is so un-sexy....he is super ugly to me, and always seems to think she(I meant to type he, but she seems to fit better) is the shiznit. He is just super ugly in the face, but the rest is just due to working out...nothing special move along....
And why would you have $1 million worth of presents in your car? Seriously?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I always thought that was hilarious. The Ming Dynasty ended hundreds of years ago. I'm so sure Grosselin has anything from that era.
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What's really funny is that Gosselin said he had a Ming vase that was "at least a hundred years old." Hello, dipshit, if it were really a Ming vase it would be HUNDREDS of years old.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by Auntie Mame on Tue, 01/12/2010 - 12:50pm.
This chock full o' shit story is as believable as Jon Gosselin owning a "priceless" Ming vase in his apartment.
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I always thought that was hilarious. The Ming Dynasty ended hundreds of years ago. I'm so sure Grosselin has anything from that era.
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
This chock full o' shit story is as believable as Jon Gosselin owning a "priceless" Ming vase in his apartment.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Mayhaps it's the same person that's going through Kim Zolciak's trash...
http://www.toptwitsblog.com/2010/01/kim-zolciak-dont-mess-with-southern....
M.E. He was probably just regifting one of his furs.. you know he wears women's sizes.
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"I guess all you do, is lie back and think of England" Bear Grylls
ha ha Cakey, found her, married like all the other ones, I can't tell yet if she has a bunch of crotch fruit but she was never the type
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
I thought they were divorcing? Why would he buy her any expensive shit?
I don't get it.
Getting updates about Usher is like finding out the latest features available on a rotary-dial phone.
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You're under arrest, sugar!
Usher, with dumb stories like this, it becomes a little harder to believe you. If you still have your diamond "U" chain, then just move forward.
jill why r u talking abut me that way
He looks like a guy I know who thinks he's a real bad-ass and always, always smells as if he has raw shit in his undies.
dear thieves
next time please shoot usher while you steal his shiny things.
thanks
Isn't it a bit late for Chrimmus?
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"I guess all you do, is lie back and think of England" Bear Grylls
@applehead i'm sure it was the valets who were the "witnesses" ~ and in ATL (as everywhere, i imagine) they could give a fuck about someone's stuff getting stolen. hell, they might have been in on it, esp if usher is as much of a non-tipping douche as people say!
This reminds me of the perennial story of someone leaving something extreeeemely valuable in the back seat of a taxi (and the driver always returns it, bless him).
If you're carrying around a rolled-up Picasso canvas or a briefcase full of diamonds, YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE IT BEHIND????
It boggles my mind. If I have even a hundred dollars in my wallet (rare, indeed) I compulsively check to make sure it's there. If I had diamonds or some other really valuable shit, it would be inside my duct tape bra. Hello!
Hmmm, whatever.
I never get these hollywood p.reports.
It's like a fucking movie story line..."the thief got out of the car...(oh really??)..then he opened "broke open"...aha...yeah...ok, keep going...I mean wtf...who was there to see this go play by play. stupid Hollywood people!!!
whatever happened to "someone stole my shit"...instead of a fucking novela novel story about it.
Coma Caca!
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i'm pretty sure this is just usher trying to make money from an insurance claim... xmas was forever ago, and anyway, whatever asshat that chooses to keep $1M worth of goodies in their car kinda deserves to get jacked. didn't puffy have some complicated-ass safe system in his SUV where he hid that gun all those years ago? take note, usher.
I've never liked this douchebag. Don't think he's hot. And he seems like a real prick. Fuck him!
I've never liked this douchebag. Don't think he's hot. And he seems like a real prick. Fuck him!
@ Albatross : Armani makes me feel...sexy.
OnT: Usher says that while he was shopping inside of an AT&T store, a Chevy Impala pulled up next to his SUV in the parking lot. The report goes on to say that a young dude jumped out of the Impala, broke open one of the SUV's doors and grabbed all of Usher's expensive shit.
Aaaaaaaaannndddd what did Usher do while all this was going on?
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
This sounds like a case for Det. LaToya
snowy, ugh, i hate those bitches. DEM BITCHES!!!
PETA did it.
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FIST PUMP!!
I'm going to go with Usher riding around with some trick/s in his car who decided that bragging rights to having fucked him wasn't enough payment so they decided to maximize the experience by ripping him off. They probably sent a text to a friend to meet them in whatever parking lot and stole the shit and took off while he was in the store.
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I am not a pussy.
When did this happen? Did he wait 3 weeks to tell the police about it, or is he already buying for Christmas 2010? Helloooo, you are supposed to file a police report when it happens, so they can take fingerprints and crap.
cakey: she was one of those girls that always got whatever she wanted, you know the type, BITCHES LOL
I wonder if she's on FB
*goes to look*
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
I guess Usher doesn't know yet that exclusive stores can actually deliver valuable stuff directly to your house...no need to carry them around in the back of your car. He's been rich and famous for a while, he should know that by now.
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"Honey, we're all lesbians when the right man is not around." - Karen Walker
@snowy: ooh that whore!!!!
Submitted by Plecostomus on Tue, 01/12/2010 - 10:44am.
That's your best avie yet! LMAO
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"I'm not an asshole. I'm just drawn that way." --BK
snowyp getting toe socks
loozer getting white diamonds parfum
Eileenie McMeanie awww ,well then, he's not all bad, and i like some of his songs...
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Who the fuck rides around with a MILLION dollars worth of stuff in their vehicle??
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"I'm not an asshole. I'm just drawn that way." --BK
The "witness" that saw this happening, didn't bother to get a license plate #?
lifeislikecake: I was trying to remember, I think the cops had to come and everything to make a report but I think she got away with it in the end.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
That's one of the unfortunate consequences of banging Lindsay Lohan: your stuff tends to disappear.
Submitted by d-nice on Tue, 01/12/2010 - 10:54am...
Down to Earth and stupidity are not the same thing. I have a mentally handicapped brother who works @ Targay and Usher makes a big fuss over him everytime he goes in there and always spends time talking to him.
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
ha ha yes rasc, he's fixin to make it his self
Waiting for Usher's Confessions
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Yay!!! A waffle-maker!!!
OnT: $1 mil? That's a loooooooootttt of cubic zirconians, Ushah!
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Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
this bitch is dumb. for buying that whore a fur coat. i saw him at home depot once and he was very short.
snowy, what happened to your friend with the stolen amex shit?
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"To me it looks like a leprechaun to me, all you got to do is look up in the tree. Who all seen da leprechaun say yeyah!"
BS!
a million $ worth of stuff in his trunk?
this is an insurance scam if i have ever heard one.
down to earth are you kidding me?
jewels & furs in the trunk don't constitute dte.
he should get a dumb ass fine too while they are at it.
@ Snowpiece
Snowy, did you see the "Arkansas bidet" ???
LMAO, I bet Jack is ordering one right now!
usher buys shit i dont need
all that work for nuthin'
i done my xmas shopping early
suckyfucky getting a quilt
urmomma getting bath salts
pleco getting waffle maker
LOL. Good Call, Eileenie!!
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Worked all week, it’s time to play
Gonna get a little bit Sideways...
ahahhahaahah el camino!!!!!!!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
This story smells of 3 day old carp. He either "Jon Gosselined" himself or someone was following him and waited until he parked the car so they could rob him.
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I am not a pussy.
Submitted by loozer on Tue, 01/12/2010 - 10:47am...Hilarious! My son just told me he wants to buy an El Camino. I changed the will immediately
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
My friend pulled this same trick on Amex in college, went and bought a whole bunch of shit and then claimed it was stolen so she didn't have to pay for it.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
1 mill worth of shit you say? uh huh right. *cough* bullshit *cough*
That's the least of his problems as he is most unfortunate looking.