Wednesday, January 6th 2010
The Photoshop Awards: Kim Kardassian's Perfume Ad
Let's not focus on the fact that all of our eyeballs are having a "Harpo, who dis woman?" moment. Instead, let's point out the positives of Kim Kardassian's ad for her new perfume.
It's a good thing Kim looks like her asshole is burping up her initials since her perfume most likely smells like something (SPOILER ALERT: a colostomy bag and burnt anus hair) she shat up after a particularly messy butt sex session.
It's also a good thing that Kim is posing inside of a giant NuvaRing since every member of the Kardashian family (including Rob) should be legally required to carry a gigantic box of NuvaRings in their vaginas at all times.
via People
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who the flying fuck is that!!?? that isn't her face wtf
"Let's not focus on the fact that all of our eyeballs are having a "Harpo, who dis woman?" moment."
That sentence just saved my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU MK!!!
"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"
This bitch has failed at everything she has attempted:
Failure to snag Reggie Bush
Failure on DWthe has beens
Failure on making a sex tape with Brandy's dickwad brother seem interesting.
Failure at stealing the spotlight from her mansister Kourtney
Failure to use real body in perfume ad because its too fat.
I'll smash a bottle when it hits the shelves of Crazy Clark's.
My housemate (who works in a mine in Western Australia) happened to catch a few minutes of Keeping up with the Kardashians...
"WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE CUNTS, AND WHY ARE THEY ON MY TELLY?"
"LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ONE'S ARSE!"
"IS THAT ONE MALE OR FEMALE?"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT BLOKE'S FACE?"
"WHAT ELSE IS ON?"
pissed myself.
LMFAO! i love how every no talent tramp thinks they can bottle some shit and be like 'hay buy my perfume!!' a few months later. seriously, go the fuck away and STFU. i'm especially sick of this trash family. between the hairy man getting married after a month of dating for publicity and the other chick no one cares about getting knocked up for publicity, its enough.
in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please "don't breed or buy while homeless animals die" and support animal shelters!
Watch it fly off the shelves... People suck.
Does not look a thing like her. Is the perfume just bottled piss?
...but does the perfume smell like piss?
her body looks good but her face looks like an aisan man.
and seriously- how many scents are there?? how can there possibly be enough for eleventy billion celeb stank bottles?
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Does this fragrance make my ass look big?
why is this whore famous? I just dont get it. She had someone fuck her on camera and piss on her brows, and now she thinks she got famous? why do THEY need to have a reality show? Like there arent enough gold-digger and whore families out there ?
...
..
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
they photoshopped her ass out.
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/teacups-and-couture/
http://www.twolia.com/shop
Submitted by super martian r... on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 11:53am.
I wish I had her body.
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So does she! And she does, thanks to photoshop. Gross.
*gasp* I KNOW WHY ITS VOLUPTUOUS! Because it is made of some of the fat they siphoned out of her ass!
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 10:42am.
HOW CAN A FRAGRANCE BE VOLUPTUOUS?
I suppose we should just be grateful that they didn't spell it "volumptuous" since that seems to be how people pronounce it nowadays.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 10:32am.
her logo looks like a vagina in the middle of open thighs...with a stream of piss coming out of it...i wonder if this smells like piss too
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Excellent observational skills, SpiceDong.
A stream of piss? I thought it was a dildo!
So let me just get this perfectly straight, for fame and fortune all you need to do is release (but deny releasing) a terribly dull sex tape featuring you sucking the penis of the brother of a once well known R&B singer?
All jokes aside, is this what the world has come to?
Fuck me..
--thanks awfully--
who the fuck is that? that ain't Kim.
**********************************************
Well, o.k. I still get stoned
I'm not the kind of girl you'd take home
If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad
"A voluptous new frangrance"...
WHO THE FUCK WROTE THE COPY FOR THIS SHIT!!!
MAJOR FAIL!!!
Though, I can't knock her hustle...
IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S SO FAMOUS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! (the "your" stated above is "society"...not you personally MK...well, maybe just a lil' bit!!! LOL!!!)
Pleccy-
Be careful, now that you all beautiful and shit Ice T be after yo ass!
And I have to leave & can't proteck yo.
I came in for the special offer: guarenteed personality...
I don't hate the picture I just have no idea who that is because that is not KK.
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
@ Vern : LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
==============================
Bottom-feeder.
Gorge your eyes on Gorgeous Georgina : http://sites.google.com/site/gorgeousgeorginashow/home
Pleccy's got connections. He got the 'before' pic for his avie!
I came in for the special offer: guarenteed personality...
I wish I had her body.
i bet it smells like Ray J's black penis,, yummy
Not even her face looks Lardassian. LOVE IT. If anyone even gives me this perfume for a present imma drop kick it out onto da road. Prbly smells like piss and Mountain Dew.
Between the Kardassian sisters AWFUL nutri-something-or-other commercial, an interview with Kim K that I saw last night on tv, and this perfume ad, I'm seriously getting irritated. I get that Kim is hot, by WTF are her sisters everywhere, and why does Kim have to talk?! Hot women should be seen and not heard when they talk with a slight valley girl accent and have nothing of any importance or worth to say. The superficiality of this society makes me want to fucking burn and pillage whole villages sometimes. This is the American dream? PUHLEASE. I'd rather have a fucking brain in my head and contribute something to this world than have piles of money and look like Kim, but be an empty-headed, self-absorbed, superficial shell of a woman.
*Gets off high horse and searches for tranquilizer*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
LOL Capitanne
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
OK thıs ıs when I say PhotoShop has gone too far because I'll be godDAYUM ıf that woman ıs KardASSıan!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
jt
so what, this shit smells like a golden shower? sorry dear, that clashes with my season type.
*takes 40 chugs*
*passes Snowy spleef*
*giggles*
I came in for the special offer: guarenteed personality...
"Warm notes of Valtrex, urine and crusted fecal matter mix with undertones of lo-fat pork souvlaki and vagesil to create the essence of Kim Fartassian the Fragrance: delusions of grandeur and desperation." To be read with the standard breathy baby voice of all midly retarded Los Angeles-based nouveau riche sluts.
It's pretty bad when even after a photoshop job, you still look like a dirty skanky cougar.
Looooooozer,
It's not so much that I want to see you in pain, it's just....I feel you deserve an OSCAR for your performance!!!!!
:)
I came in for the special offer: guarenteed personality...
LMAO at urmomma.... Incontinence, by Fabrage
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece, The Fortune Teller 11/25/09
*tackles loozer*
*passes Vern the 40*
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
So what is PISSPOT Kardassians perfume? Uhm, well ...
WTF they dyed Scarlett Johansen's (sp?) hair black and stuck her in a ring?
Thanks Vern. I am glad my despair and loneliness brought you pleasure. lol
I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
but I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.
I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.
Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
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But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself ...
@ESE
LMAO.
What cologne are you wearing?
Incontinence.
Ahahahahaaa!
Time flies when you're a drunken whore.~MK
Snowy My Love,
I guess you missed this post.
Submitted by loozer on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 10:16am.
I'm drowning myself in Air Supply since Snowy broke my itty bitty-tacky sweater covered heart. I'm All Out of Love because Snowy is Every Woman In the World to me. I can't go on Making Love Out of Nothing At All.
Here I AM, Snowy, The One That You Love, asking for another chance....
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But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself ...
Snowy-
Thank you for two things!
1. Breaking Sweater Looooozer's heart.
2. Changing your avie. I loved the clevernis of the old one, but those blue things are dangerously close to *whispers*
c-l-o-w-n-s *shudders*
I came in for the special offer: guarenteed personality...
Loooooozer! Were you all out of love and so lost without me?!?!??!?!?!
♥♥♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
This bitch is already everywhere. Now I have to smell the wannabes? Gawd!!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 11:00am.
Does that mean I can stop listening to Air Supply now?
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But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself ...
The bottle is rotund like her ass.
And she gets her own fragrance because she has a big ass? Celebrity fragrances are for losers.
ahahahahahahahahahahah LOOZER! it was only beacause of the sweater!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
How do these no talents like the Kardashians and Paris Hilton keep turning up?
KK was on CSI New York a few weeks back as a killer. The worst acting I've ever seen.
Please make this bitch and her fugly sisters go away.
Submitted by urmomma on Wed, 01/06/2010 - 10:56am.
I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!
i'm just gonna pee myself and let them come to their own conclusions
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"Where can you run to?
What more can you do?
No more tomorrow.
Life is killing you."