Sunday, January 3rd 2010

Raise Your Bong! Matthew McConaughey Is A Father Again!

Somewhere in the world Matthew McConaughey is handing out pink blunts to his friends to celebrate the birth of his new baby friend. 40-year-old Matthew announced on his website (which I got a contact high from) that his 26-year-old girlfriend Camila Alves gave birth to their daughter early today. Matthew took a hit and wrote:

Happy New Year everybody!!! On Sunday, Jan. 3rd at 12:13am, Camila gave birth to a healthy 7lb. 7oz. baby girl named "Vida Alves McConaughey".... Vida is Portuguese for "life" and that's what God gave us this morning... Camila's recovering wonderfully and we are both truly honored to welcome this little lady into our family... thanks for all your well wishes and prayers along the way. another blessed day. we give thanks. just keep livin, Matthew and Camila

Matthew and Camila already have a 17-month-old son named Levi, so I guess I was wrong in thinking that his sperm fishes just lay around watching Beavis & Butthead re-runs while finishing off an entire Frito-Lay variety pack. They actually get off their stoner asses.

And Matthew only named his daughter Vida Alves McConaughey, so he can call her VAM! And he'll fist pump every time he says it. VAM!

via People

Posted by: Michael K


LisaRose's picture

My daughter is named ASHA which also means LIFE but is Swahili... also means HOPE in Hindi. I just love names! :)

loozer's picture

Congrats on being an Uncle again, Rooster!!
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If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown, Honey I'm still free, Take a chance on me

Reeter's picture

Pink blunts! LOL!!

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Bad decisions make great stories.

Stoney's picture

I see little Levi inherited his dad's Short Limbed Syndrome.

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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Bunnyman's picture

ENOUGH already! Get another hobby.

WTFOMGLOL's picture

He really meant to name her La Vida Loca McConnaughey, but after he got his toke on,
it just seemed like too long a name, dude.

TheBreakdown's picture

That's the name I would expect from a hard-core stoner lıke Matt.

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sparkys nemesis's picture

Glad he can do something successfully.

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

What? Can he only think of 4-letter names with Is and Vs in them?

blacklakemonster's picture

Kind of takes something away from it when you have to explain what the name means

literarylioness's picture

He even looks smelly. His cologne line should be: "where this to disguise your BO."

Anorexorcist's picture

that jesus juice?

I dunno... his arms don't really look that short here. They look like a normal length to me. Yeah, it's almost 3 am and I am up analyzing Matthew McConaughey's body. Oh well!

Centaurious's picture

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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Centaurious's picture

Is anyone around?

Yes, I've been drinking. To quote Kanye, LOL!!!

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"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

MickeyHolland's picture

Was he ever hot? Google "freakishly short/stubby arms" and you'll catch my drift.

stinkbutt's picture

His hair looks like straw. I guess it's all that sun, and nasty ocean So. Ca. water. I'm sorry, but our ocean over here is nasty, I would never swim it that polluted water.

Irene's picture

He just doesnt seem as hot to me anymore, now that he's a family man.

HoityToity's picture

Ah thought this fella was a homo! Now he gone done and got hisself two kids? Well, slap mah titties and call me a ho!

Troys Mommy's picture

I gotta say that is one cute little son of a gun.

I Went to school with a girl named "Vida"-- we called her "Velveeta." Hopefully this lil one will be pretty so she won't be known as "Cheese McConaughey" Kids can be such pricks!

"It is better to have loved and lost dick than to have never had dick at all."
==Dick Solomon
Third Rock From the Sun

Centaurious's picture

Provy, Angeli, Hey they're four letters long, easier to remember!
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Did you guys know that his Texas good ole boy bro has a son named Miller Lyte?

And Matthew wanted to name the first son after a beer and the wife put the kibbosh on it.

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"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

tojo's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 01/03/2010 - 10:18pm.
VAM!

Actually, I really like the name Levi. Vida - meh. S'aright.
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Hey they're four letters long, easier to remember!

He really does have short arms...

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the end...

Centaurious's picture

TITS, His body is 'off' some how... can't quite put my finger on it. I know the joke is that he has little t-rex arms, but that's not it.

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Coming from someone who's seen him standing for about 10 minutes 6 inches away, the weird thing about his body is that he is all torso.

He literally has a gigantic torso and toddler arms and legs.

It's really weird.

_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

shandi's picture

I don't think his arms or short or his head or big or that anything is wrong with his body. He looks handsome to me, too, although I understand that whole BO thing is a major turnoff. I just wanted to say that the name Vida makes me think of Patrick Swayze in Wong Foo. Anytime I hear the name Vida, I think of an absolutely fantastic tranny!

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Does he smell like nuclear B.O. or Poo-Poo?

I just can't imagine anyone smelling nasty and not knowing it? Someone needs to tell him discreetly. It's one thing to do that at home but on the job is not cool for the other people who have to smell him.

Hysteria's picture

Now, Charlie butt-head Sheen should pay attention here. Matthew knows how to buy a ho who delivers. No hysterics, no golf-club hitting. This girl poops babies and doesn't complain. Matt may be stupid and stinky but he picks a good ho. Take notes, Charlie.

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Whatever's picture

Whatever.

daisydaisy's picture

Good for them, I think..When was the last time celebutards got married instead of pregnant for PR reasons? (Tommy Girl doesn't count, sorry..)
Or should I believe that these two are sooo in looove that having kids is just the thing to do?
In any case, he's gross and for fuck's sake those arms..

Madam Pince's picture

I was sure this second one was gonna be a boy as well. Good luck to Vida -- the same name as Patrick Swayze's divine ass-kicking cross-dresser!

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parissucksliterally's picture

I used to think he was hot, but the stinky thing turns me off to no end. He has been known to stink for years....

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Well, o.k. I still get stoned
I'm not the kind of girl you'd take home
If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad

Everytime I hear the name Vida I keep thinking of the movie Mildred Pierce. And everytime I think of Mildred Pierce I think of Carol Burnett doing that Mildred Pierce skit. Veeeeddda!

Congrats t these two. She's the new host of some reality show on Bravo.

Gaza Strip's picture

Man, the guy is super nice (worked on a few films with him in Texas - production staff of sorts), but DAMN, he stinks. He apparently thinks his BO is hot, but it can clear the craft service table in seconds. I'm all about guy smells, but shit, this man's scent doesn't curl your toes, just your hair. Bleh........

Soultonic's picture

i will make his nipples hard and lick my way down. at the end of the day this southern bell (matthew) is so fukkable.

Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/03/2010 - 11:04pm.

His body is 'off' some how... can't quite put my finger on it. I know the joke is that he has little t-rex arms, but that's not it.

im not gonna lie on paper what i have seen of him on tv and movies i would fuck his brains out. but i have heard that his hippie lifestle leads him to only shower like once and week and he really stinks now thats i know this i try and look for the girl in his movies to holding her breath. regardless, id still prolly hit it

TITS's picture

His body is 'off' some how... can't quite put my finger on it. I know the joke is that he has little t-rex arms, but that's not it.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
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ScarfnBarf's picture

Maybe the smoke wafted all the way over here because I actually think he looks good in this pic - have never before thought of him as attractive. I do however think his girlfriend is a babe, and that child is adorable. Cutest pic of that little boy ever. I'm not a kids kinda gal either, but that family pic (with the prego tummy) is priceless.

shandiRW's picture

nites, MizRo........ *spaces out, again*

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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK

Centaurious's picture

Maybe this is mean, but I don't think his wife (are they even married?) is pretty at all.

She's not ugly, I could never say that.

To me, she looks REALLY, REALLY hairy.

__________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

mharker's picture

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 01/03/2010 - 10:23pm.

Shouldn't an actor be allowed to take time off? Lindsay Lohan is one thing, but it seems like Matthew McConaughey made 20 movies in a row a couple years ago. If he wants to take time off to be a parent, more power to him.

Eileenie McMeanie's picture

Do any of you guys read CDAN? Nothing good revealed.

"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.

Vida? Someone possibly is a fan of the movie "Mildred Pierce" starring Ms. Joan Crawford? Oddly, Ann Blyth as the daughter 'Vida' [excellently] played a wretchedly cruel and narcissistic character in that particular role.

Nah. Must be a family name or something.

MizRo's picture

*takes toke* zzzzz

G'night...

shandiRW's picture

Submitted by MizRo on Sun, 01/03/2010 - 10:08pm.
*sits with shandi, brings spliff* *exchanges*

yeah, dude, Vida is like, "life" man... *tommy chong impression*
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*puff puff passes* like, yeah man..... *spaces out*

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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK

TexnDoc's picture

Like Blohan he seems to be doing anything but working. Being demoted from big-shot actor to cologne spokesman I guess is better than fashion "consultant" or whatever. I don't think he's necessarily "unemployable" like her, just boring.

MizRo's picture

Centy: they clean him up nice and have him exit a car with sunglasses at night - I tell you, hysterical!

G'night all, valium setting in...

MizRo's picture

Read a book, write a list, call a friend, take a bubble bath, perform a cleansing ritual in your house, stay here..

SO many options!

Centaurious's picture

Miz Ro, Have you seen his cologne commercial? Sends me into convulsive laughter!
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No...but considering he looked like he hadn't showered in days at the airport and there are things on record as saying he doesn't use deodorant and reeks...

I'd have to believe the cologne is made up of top notes of dirty sweat socks, sopping wet pit hair and bottom notes of dog shit and toe jam.
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"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

angel_i's picture

VAM!

Actually, I really like the name Levi. Vida - meh. S'aright.

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Did you have a nice time last night, WHORE?

Submitted by MizRo on Sun, 01/03/2010 - 10:15pm.

i get like 4 channels. this is why im always so bored!