Van Morrison Is Not Sharing His Diapers With Anyone
The other day, a message went up on Van Morrison's website announcing the birth of his fourth baby friend with some chick named Gigi Lee. We all patted Van's sperm on the back for still ticking after 64 years. Well, we need to take our pats back, because he doesn't have a fourth child after all. Van says that some evil hacker posted the bogus message on his website. Van's sperm fishes are still spending their days watching their stories on their Tempur-Pedic bed. They aren't even trying to tap a bitch's ovaries. Not today.
Van's rep issued this statement to Irish Times: "For the avoidance of all doubt and in the interests of clarity, I am very happily married to Michelle Morrison with whom I have two wonderful children." The rep added that Van has never heard of a Gigi Lee and the entire story belongs in Barnes & Nobles' fiction section.
On the fake message left on Van's website, the faker wrote that Little Van was the "spitting image" of his father. Since Little Van doesn't exist, you don't have to carry a cross around anymore for fear that you'll run into the second coming of Benjamin Button.
• 
I'm a huge Van Morrison fan but I sensed there was something wrong with the whole thing. Sure Van Morrison loves privacy so even as a huge fan I don't bother looking up the number of kids he has or how many times he was married, because it takes too long to find!
The name Gigi Lee didn't ring a bell. Didn't know he was still married as well...I just knew Michelle Rocca, his beautiful wife and ex pageant queen, was pregnant at the time, wearing t-shirts the size of tents to hide the baby bump.
You can laugh...but Van Morrison at the age of 25 was like a combination of Chris Noth and Jude Law. He was a very attractive man and the charm is still glowing from his face. No one will ever make more beautiful music than him. And for the record, there's more than Moondance and it's even greater.
Submitted by Snoogle on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 11:00pm.
----------------------------
Thanks for the link! I swear I was nowhere near the Vatican on Christmas Eve. Or was I?
@ Islandgirl, yes indeed, and God help me, when I saw the video, I giggled
http://gawker.com/5433945/pope-tackled-during-christmas-eve-mass-now-wit...
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
I hope by age five Suri "refuses" to wear anything but pasties and a thong. - madam s.
Submitted by Snoogle on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 10:33pm.
--------------------------------------------------
Wait, someone tackled the Pope? That's it... I just made my first resolution for 2010. Read more CNN, less DListed.
Bwahaha, like THAT'S going to happen. :)
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 10:32pm.
How sad does one's life have to be that they feel the need to hack into Van Morrison's website? Who's next, Pat Boone?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
After that loon tackled the pope I knew we were in for fuckery like this. :)
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
I hope by age five Suri "refuses" to wear anything but pasties and a thong. - madam s.
How sad does one's life have to be that they feel the need to hack into Van Morrison's website? Who's next, Pat Boone?
While some of his stuff is cringeworthy and reminds me of my vanilla roommate in college singing with her gayelle friends (Ahem, Brown Eyed Girl), I full intend to have "Crazy Love" playing when I walk down the isle on the beach this summer. That song is so fucking good.
Bring, it d-listers.....I know ya hate me now.
But I still love you.
-"Well, should we get more coffee or get two guns and shoot ourselves?"
Submitted by Mama Moore on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:52pm.
A long, long long time ago he wrote a couple of songs that, nowadays, white people like to play to show they are hep and sophisticated.
*******************************************
Or just old.
*********************************
Not this guy. And he's awesome!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqSB51x8Wh4
Nice surprise:)
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
LOL@Sugaroo: thanks for clearing that up for me, Disreali. It's funny how I knew exactly what she was talking about too;p
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
looks like jabba the hut
A long, long long time ago he wrote a couple of songs that, nowadays, white people like to play to show they are hep and sophisticated.
*******************************************
Or just old.
Into the Mystic is on my husbands play list for his wake. LOL I am super organized like that. My husbands must have wake play lists.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:22pm.
The assholes in my HS used to always dedicate "Brown eyed girl" to me. Fucking tards, I have HAZEL eyes.
*reports self*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes! I too have hazel eyes and everyone thinks they're BROWN!!!!!!!!! Fuckers!
ON TOPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fishsticksfan got her answer, anyhow. DOCTORS and OLD FAT SOUL SINGERS are lousy lays! ALSO ON TOPIC.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
Memories of the year that lies behind us
Wishes for the new year yet to come
And it stands to reason that good friends in season
Make you feel that life has just begun
Fishy, he forgot to tell you he was a crappy, selfish fuck in the sack & a moderator at Dlisted!!
OT: Van Morrison has a HATER.
Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:38pm.
THAT'S the one! *smacks forehead*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:29pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:22pm.
Sugaroo:
How bout: GLOOOOOOOOOOORIA! GLOOOOOOOORIA!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wasn't that a song in the 80s? Ugh. My elder sister used to sing that crap until I wanted to kick her in her assbone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're thinking of Laura Branigan's "Gloria" ("Glo-re-YAH...I think they got your num-BAH...I think they got the AL-ee-us...that you've been livin' un-dah!").
The first "Gloria" was "G-L-O-R-I-A...Glooooooria!" - done by Van's earlier band, Them (if I recall correctly).
=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:22pm.
Sugaroo:
How bout: GLOOOOOOOOOOORIA! GLOOOOOOOORIA!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wasn't that a song in the 80s? Ugh. My elder sister used to sing that crap until I wanted to kick her in her assbone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:24pm.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:20pm.
Here's one I bet y'all don't remember: "T.B.Sheets", which was on Van's first solo album "Blowin' Your Mind". Yes, I'm old.
-----------------------
That song is also on the rather good soundtrack to the rather forgettable (though, ok) Martin Scorsese-Nicolas Cage flick "Bringing Out the Dead."
--------------------------------------------------------
Really? Wow! That's a pretty obscure tune. Thanks for the info.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
" I OPEN MY THIRD EYE!!!!!!"
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:20pm.
Here's one I bet y'all don't remember: "T.B.Sheets", which was on Van's first solo album "Blowin' Your Mind". Yes, I'm old.
-----------------------
That song is also on the rather good soundtrack to the rather forgettable (though, ok) Martin Scorsese-Nicolas Cage flick "Bringing Out the Dead."
=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?
oh yeah M.E. me too, it's like shut up! they are not BROWN!!!
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
BROWN EYED HOLE
LET MEH LIKK YERRRR
BROWN EYED HOLE
************************************************
Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
The assholes in my HS used to always dedicate "Brown eyed girl" to me. Fucking tards, I have HAZEL eyes.
*reports self*
IF EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYEEEE
COULD HAVE
JUST ONE
MOONDANCE WITH YOU
MY LOVE
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Sugaroo:
How bout: GLOOOOOOOOOOORIA! GLOOOOOOOORIA!
Or, um...
Man. Van Morrison has a tonne of good songs.
Youtube it up!
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
The image of this fat sow naked and boinking a fish is enough to make us lose our breakfast!
Roo:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgCXXmefjAw
Of course the dork sigining isn't Van. But, youtube sucks for video's.
I remember in high school Brown Eyed Girl was my best friend's fave song, of course she had brown eyes.
And she only used me as an excuse to go fuck her BF because she always told her folks she was at my place on Saturday night.
Here's one I bet y'all don't remember: "T.B.Sheets", which was on Van's first solo album "Blowin' Your Mind". Yes, I'm old.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
IMA GONNA GO SCRUB MY BROWN EYE AND STOCK UP ON SOME ALTOIDS........ ITS OKAY MODERATOR, I BE USING MY VAN MORRISON SCRUBBY.
BB AT OPEN POST WITH A SHINEY BROWN EYE AND A FEW EXTRA BENS IN MY PUSS.. ERRR........ PURSE !
Moondance is VM's bestest song. And I love his music.
*ducks*
Okay, now I know who he is. Moon Dance. I found a site that actually plays it rather than giving me the lyrics which mean dick.
Now that I know who he is..............What?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:17pm.
I don't do Moderation-WTF?
Thanks for your story Fishy, we still love you anyway, and that Dr. Bitch can go suck it. In fact, he can suck dogs for a nickle!
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Awwww....thanks. Well, I can't wait for the OP anymore. Must get on with my life. HAVE A GOOD NEW YEAR'S EVE EVERYONE!!!! Be safe!
*shakes ass to Snowy's singing*
Sug!LMAO! Yes. It. Is. About. A. Cow.
MOOOOOOO!
*slaps self again for Roo*
Did someone say "Darksided!!!" Marge, are you here?
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
ooooo angel I forgot the
SHALALALALALALALALALAL
la la
la la ti da
la ti da
part
Happy Now MODERATOR?!?!?!??!
*snore*
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:14pm.
Yeah, I bet if EH showed up, y'all would be e-mailing the hell out of the moderator. Anyway, let's hope for an early OP.
*
isn't that like wishing for a early death? :)
OT so van isn't over the moon? good. old men shouldn't have babies.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:16pm.
Is Brown Eyed Girl about a cow? For real, I am clueless.
Ode to Bossy.
====
Yes, and he did write Ode to Bossy too. Now you're remembering.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:16pm.
Roo, you dumb ass. YOU KNOW HIS SONGS!!!
Brown Eyed Girl??? YOU KNOW IT!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Do not. I think you're all playing a game on my because I ran out of DListed Snuggies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
:)
I don't do Moderation-WTF?
Thanks for your story Fishy, we still love you anyway, and that Dr. Bitch can go suck it. In fact, he can suck dogs for a nickle!
Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:11pm.
Submitted by Emmatrude on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:09pm.
DON'T WORRY YOU GUYS, THE MODS ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THE LAST SIX WEEKS WHEN THEY DIDN'T DO JACK SHIT. I GUESS IT MAKES THEM FEEL LIKE THEY'RE HARDWORKIN' FOLK WHEN THEY HOVER THEIR MOUSE OVER THE DELETE BUTTON AND THEN MOVE THEIR FINGER DOWN MAKE THAT SATISFYING CLICK!
_______________________________________________
IF IM SATISFYING THEIR CLICKING NEEDS, THEY NEED TO BE LEAVING A BENJAMIN OR TWO ON THE MOUSE PAD FOR ME... I MAY BE EASY, BUT I AINT CHEAP !
-------------------
LMAO! You say that now but after tonight, you'll be typing for a seltzer and a couple of altoids...
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Roo, you dumb ass. YOU KNOW HIS SONGS!!!
Brown Eyed Girl??? YOU KNOW IT!
Submitted by Morbidosity on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:14pm.
Gwennie - you should have mentioned the sex story was about VAN MORRISON, doctor of suck sex
--------------------------------
FUCK you are right. I just thought everyone was going home early so I was afraid if I waited around for the OP, I'd be all alone there. :(
Is Brown Eyed Girl about a cow? For real, I am clueless.
Ode to Bossy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Van wrote Tonguing the Girl's Brown Eye or something like that.
omg Sug
♫Hey where did we go
Tuesdays nd Saturdays
Rolling in the waterfall
Something about a stadioum
with youoooo
my brown eyed girl♫
(something like that LOLOLOL)
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Jazzy, awesome avie!!!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 12/31/2009 - 12:12pm.
Stop and think. If the Mod is deleting it's b/c people are off topic. Duh, kids. Someone must have complained.
So I ask again. Who TF is Van Morrison?
****************************
Oooh, my Brown Eyed Girl
Do you remember when?
Do you remember when?
Do you remember when we used to sing:
Shalalalalala lalalalatee da! ?
Shalalalalala lalalalatee da!
A lateeda!
Member?
And yeah - a couple people were havin' a sniffle over off-topics in a couple threads recently, so there you go.
What made me laugh tho was someone said it was driving away readers as opposed to the full scale troll wars which obviously won many over to DaRKSiDE!!!1!
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
Gwennie - you should have mentioned the sex story was about VAN MORRISON, doctor of suck sex
Yeah, I bet if EH showed up, y'all would be e-mailing the hell out of the moderator. Anyway, let's hope for an early OP.