Carrie Underwood Is Engaged
Carrie Underwears got engaged over the weekend to Mike Fisher, a hockey player for the Ottawa Senators. The two pieces of boiled broccoli have been heavy petting (you know Carrie is going to keep her vagina to herself until marriage) since last year.
Carrie Underwears better not even think about changing her last name. There's only one famous Carrie Fisher allowed on this planet. Chewbacca will chew a bitch over this!
UsWeekly says that Mike confirmed the news at a press conference this morning. Mike was about to give all the exciting engagement details, but then he pulled a Rusty by falling the fuck asleep. Even Mike Fisher gets the bores when he thinks about Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwears.
But you know what's not boring? This picture of Mike Fisher getting his love handled from a dick sucker's point of view.