Jon & Kate Are Officially Divorced
Remember Jon & Kate? We've all been fucked so hard in the eye hole with Tiger news that our brains ejaculated every memory we ever had of those two. Well, in case you do remember them, you should know that they are now officially officially OFFICIALLY divorced. You might want to put a padlock on your trash cans and keep ear plugs on your nightstand, because the possums will be partying tonight!
Kate's lawyer tells TMZ that the child army will stay at their compound with her. Jon will get visitation rights. Kate also added, "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on our children."
Unfortunately, our national nightmare is not over. Apparently, Jon has been hit with a 5-figure monthly child support payment that he can't pay due to TLC blocking him from working the famewhore stroll. And you know Kate is going to send her mob of rabid possums after him if he's even ten-seconds late on his payment.
That means you might find Jon begging for a coin in front of your local Rite-Aid. That will ruin your day faster than a genital wart. Or worse, don't be surprised if you see him shaking those titties at a strip club for a warm dollar.
When it comes to the Gosselins, we all lose.