Jon & Kate Are Officially Divorced
Remember Jon & Kate? We've all been fucked so hard in the eye hole with Tiger news that our brains ejaculated every memory we ever had of those two. Well, in case you do remember them, you should know that they are now officially officially OFFICIALLY divorced. You might want to put a padlock on your trash cans and keep ear plugs on your nightstand, because the possums will be partying tonight!
Kate's lawyer tells TMZ that the child army will stay at their compound with her. Jon will get visitation rights. Kate also added, "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on our children."
Unfortunately, our national nightmare is not over. Apparently, Jon has been hit with a 5-figure monthly child support payment that he can't pay due to TLC blocking him from working the famewhore stroll. And you know Kate is going to send her mob of rabid possums after him if he's even ten-seconds late on his payment.
That means you might find Jon begging for a coin in front of your local Rite-Aid. That will ruin your day faster than a genital wart. Or worse, don't be surprised if you see him shaking those titties at a strip club for a warm dollar.
When it comes to the Gosselins, we all lose.
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so kate got tired of raising 9 kids ,1 matured and left..what's the big deal?
You can tell in the pic how happy they were at one point. You can also tell this is before they went all fame hungry and greedy.
Ha they looked pretty normal/semi cute back in the day. What a hot mess they turned into. I feel sorry for their kids.
They actually looked like a happy, normal couple. Too bad their fame-whore ways ruined everything for them.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
This is so sad...if only they had gone to a therapist instead of a reality show, their family might be together.
As someone who works at a Pennsylvania Rite Aid, this is terrible news indeed.
...Jon so badly needed to go out and get fucked?...
...congrats!...now you're fucked!...
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...transgressing my way to the top....
he looked like such a goody two shoes back then
Guess he will have to auction off all his Ed Hardy shirts on ebay.
Not these asswipes.
Here's a thought: Kate you go fuck Tiger Woods (as bad as you are you are a far shot better than the chippy he was banging from the Waffle house)then sell the fucking story to People Mag for a few mil. Jon, you chill dude and after Kate picks Tigers pocket, you haul her ugly ass into court and ask the court to have her to send you support!
This is a reality check for BOTH of them. They had their 15 minutes of fame and now its OVER. Neither can afford their current lifestyles which they lucked into and the child support payment is unrealistic based on Jon's earning power. Jon will have to find and maintain a regular job which will be difficult as he presented himself as a slob with no work ethic and a poor job history on TV. He'll be lucky to land a minimum wage job. As for Kate, she needs to return to nursing in order to support her child army.
Their days of glory are OVER. I don't really care what happens to either of these irresponsible idiots but I suspect the taxpayers will ultimately be forced to pay to support their 8 kids.
Broke, fat, bald, ugly, unemployed, no skills, no assets, being sued into oblivion by lawyers and a television network, 8 kids and massive child support payments that will consume any money you might stumble upon, or be able to steal from Hailey's drug stash.
Yep Jon, you're a real babe magnet now. Hope you enjoyed those Vegas pool parties, you fucking tool, because those days are long gone.
You'll be lucky to get a job working the rat costume at Chuck E. Cheese.
And we're all loving it.
...all the quality advice Michael Lohan gave him certainly worked out well...I guess the "Divorced Dad's Club" check goes straight to Kate...
...where the hell will that douche get 5 figures a month?...
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...transgressing my way to the top....
The fact that Jon is royally FUCKED makes the BEST CHRISTMAS EVAH for Kate.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Finally! *exhales*
I hate both of these assholes, but come on. Kate makes the money, let her pay the support. Jon's going to be too busy gaurding his virgin asshole on a bench in Central Park.
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Feed the world, damnit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jEnTSQStGE
I hear you Jack. Divorce is a pain in ass all the way around. When I had my 1st divorce the only thing we fought about was albums. If I got divorced now it would be a bloodbath.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:36pm.
I love you too you twisted little monkey, now it's back eatin' cereal, watchin' cartoons and hitting golf balls in the dark for Raul. ***********************************************************************************************
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:43pm.
Submitted by Mama Moore on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:39pm.
*TRYS VERY HARD TO LOOK AT BRIGHT SIDE!!!*
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Use your GOOD eye, buddy!
*hides in SpiceDong's avie*
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by Mama Moore on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:39pm.
ITA. I'm glad she has a good lawyer. Where I live support recipient can only ask for an investigation every 12 months. Believe me, each year at the exact same time my employer receives paperwork to complete, which must be notarized and submitted through the courts, inquirying about my income... doesn't bother me, if i get a raise she gets a raise... win-win *TRYS VERY HARD TO LOOK AT BRIGHT SIDE!!!*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
@Sucky, you are CERTIFIABLE! Love it!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
Regarding child support. I have a very good friend that was married to a futures trader. She worked as a nurse. His income exceeded hers 10 fold. They were married over 10 years and have 2 kids. When they separated, because of his repeated infidelity, his income decreased by over 70%. It was blamed on the economy. Now that the divorce is final, all assets divided and support payments inked, his income is miraculously back where it was. This is an example of why child and spousal support payments are based on what income you have been proven to be able to generate and not on what you are doing now. My friend has a great lawyer that knew he was hiding assets and under reporting his income and has dragged his ass back to court for an adjustment.
Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:22pm.
I hope Santa stuffs something nice in your sock gang, Raul's got a stocking with a reservoir tip! Merry Christmas horz!
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YOU'RE THE BEST RAUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLL
I WISH YOU'D BREAK INTO MY APT. DRESED AS SANTA AND RAPED MY ASSHOLE TILL I BLED TO DEATH. ( I will leave the door unlocked, my ass is as tight as a 9 year old's pussy, I promise )
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Raul - back at ya, pal!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
Submitted by whole lotto luv on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:16pm.
No, not being facetious... I made the same mistake with my ex by not showing up.... whole shit! They had me paying $750 a week for almost 18 months before I could contest it. I still pay almost 2k a month but thats better than 3!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
I hope Santa stuffs something nice in your sock gang, Raul's got a stocking with a reservoir tip! Merry Christmas horz!***********************************************************************************************
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:10pm.
Submitted by whole lotto luv on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:06pm.
***HUGE APPLAUSE***
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Thank you, thank you (unless you're being facetious)!
Child support almost always seems to be off in the extremes. I once had a co-worker whose ex moved out of state. He didn't make it to the child support hearing, the ex provided all the info, inflated his earnings, and got an award he could never have paid, and he couldn't appeal for a year or something. I think Jon was a no-show and got similarly hammered.
Not that I feel sorry for Jon Gosselin.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe isn't it, that beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks.
Oh you guys are being so sexy in here!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
RAULLLLllllllllLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
GHGGGHNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHRRRRR
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWGGGGHZHZZZZZZZZZZZZZTZZZZZZZQ
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:12pm.
*jumps on Raul's back and grips back hair*
YEEE HAAAAA!
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Don't worry, I'll stick it in your bad eye. ***********************************************************************************************
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH AT SUCKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYY!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
*jumps on Raul's back and grips back hair*
YEEE HAAAAA!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
RAUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:11pm.
Raul wants to fuck you all in the eye hole. Can you see me cummin'?
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*RIPS OFF FUCKING EYELIDS!!!!!*
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Raul wants to fuck you all in the eye hole. Can you see me cummin'?***********************************************************************************************
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Submitted by whole lotto luv on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 1:06pm.
***HUGE APPLAUSE***
What dedication you have... thank you for sharing that. Seems more than just a little fucked up.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
Here is a link to a Pennsylvania child support calculator:
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/pennsylvania/default.asp
The only scenario I entered that came up to a 5-figure monthly amount was by entering the custodial parent with no monthly income, 8K in childcare and 2500 in health insurance, and the non-custodial with a net (after tax) income of 75K a month.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe isn't it, that beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks.
Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 12:57pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 12:46pm.
Unless, this is a ruse and you are making fun of me...
*paranoia kicks in. eyeballs plant in the corner*
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LMFAOOOOO I love it when you don't take your meds....
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
who gives a shit
I can't wait until the kids are old enough to write a group "Mommie and Daddy Dearest". I will be first in line to by it! It will be a worse story than the Jacksons.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 12:46pm.
aww it couldn't have happened to an assier asswipe. It's a Festivus miracle !!
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LMAO...where were you this a.m. when everyone was bashin' Jerry on the Conan thread???
Unless, this is a ruse and you are making fun of me...
*paranoia kicks in. eyeballs plant in the corner*
Why do y'all give a shit about these people?
What have they ever contributed to us?
They don't seem to contribute much to their own children except heartbreak and embarrasssment.
He is an ass hat and she is fake.
Fake and ass hat.
Joy to your world.xoxoxoxoxoxo.
DAMMIT! That cunt in my avie is supposed to be clapping!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
It was mentioned on ET last night, that the Gosselin McMansion was gifted to them by TLC. How come Jon does not get 1/2 of the house and she gets the whole thing, I know he is a douche but this is not right that he got hammered and she got everything?
You see. Christmas wishes do happend. Now if only they would go away..
aww it couldn't have happened to an assier asswipe. It's a Festivus miracle !!
And yet these people are free to marry AND buy baby making parts from science. Mind-boggling.
You wait, Jon will agree to let the kids do the TLC show again. For a price. $$$$$$ *Ching* Ching* *Ching*
He's such an idiot. He would still have collected money from the show if it had gone on, as he and Kate were still married.
Great two weeks without news and now these f--kers drag us back in. Just when I thought we were finally rid of them.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 12/18/2009 - 12:36pm.
Stoney, the babies ...have not finished developing and most have a touch of jaundice, hence the yello/orangish coloring.
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And here I thought LiLo was testing Sevin Nyne on infants.
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Bottom-feeder.