Naturally....
If Star Magazine wanted to put out the most ridiculous (slash hilarious) cover of the week, they should've just featured the story about Jessica Simpson dating Billy Corgan. But they really outdid themselves with this amazing work of art that belongs in a museum of laughs.
Papa Joe is probably twisting his floppy peen as punishment for not coming up with this amazing idea during one of his intense bowel movements/brainstorming sessions.
According to a source, Jessica and Tiger Woods flirted with each other at some golf tournament back in July. Since Jessica is a blonde with titties and a steady pulse, Tiger immediately pounced on her ass. The source explained, "Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it. Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn’t paying attention to her, so she was like, ‘What the heck!’ She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not.”
It didn't really go anywhere after Tiger asked Jessica for an Ambien and she handed him an Altoid. But seriously, it's a good thing Jessica never hooked up with Tiger, because bitch does not need to partake in sleep aid sex. I mean, she's already in a permanent Ambien haze....
• 
have to give credit to any women that has to wake to his weasel face...they deserve a mill.. or 2..or 5hundred large if lights are all out
Lessee, he's a slut that likes trashy blondes with too much makeup and lip filler, she's a desperate needy loser who can't keep a man. Shock.
I suck @ posting :-P
@ Sibsi (idk how to quote comments :-P) I just checked out that link you posted. I got through about 10 pages (its up to about 95 pages now) That's some crazy stuff. I've heard about some of the things they talked about (Illuminati, etc) but thought it was just some stupid rumor. But, lemme tell you, that guy sounds really convincing. It kinda got me thinin a lil
I seriously doubt Jessica Simpson would fuck even a HALF black guy...
"To be is to do"- Aristotle
"To do is to be"-Jean-Paul Sartre
"Doobie doobie doo"- Frank Sinatra
Pssht, nice try, Star! If it was Tiger Woods and Kim of "Desperate Housewives of ATL", we might be on board!
Yeesh - that guy's SMILE.
Everytime i see those pearly whites
i hear "chopsticks" playing in my head.
Where da white women at!!
Tony or Tiger? GREEEAAAAAT!
There was a blind item a while ago that was assumed to be Chestica that she be KINKAY...Yeah, if the blind item is about her, she like her some Michael Hutchence shit with a little David Carradine thown in... Bitch like to be choked...The blind item said her boyfriend at the time (Tomy Romo) did it to her once and totally freaked out about it, and broke up with her...Then, she swore that he wouldn't have to do that again and they got back together...Well, that relationship didn't last now did it?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Tiger would hit on a pile of crap if it had a blonde wig on.
tiger woods' cheesy grin just turns me off
(have a lovely long sniff)--------------------------->> (_!_)
me!
That picture looks eerily fake. I don't think I believe this.
........
Fer sure maybe, fer sure not, fer sure eh, fer sure bomb...
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Mon, 06/15/2009
It's like trying to put Herpes in its place, when you're syphilis.
The only thing that's shameless is the way the Star, Life&Style, and OK magazine can take a picture and spin the hugest web of lies out of it. Outside people don't realize that, you know? They believe a lot of shit they hear floating around out there just for not being on the net. It's a little frightening.
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
Jessica never struck me as skanky. Just stupid. Like she would have sex with a dude if he says ''if you love me.....'' except she still falls for it.
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I'm tired, I'm wasted, I love you darling.
Cha! Bitch, please! From what I can see - Jessica is WAY too classy for Tiger's tastes!
♥ Threadkilla!
A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
~ Don't look at me! I didn't say that!
Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 6:26pm.
Submitted by TARD on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 6:02pm.
I wonder if Tiger is hung like this guy:
http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/m4m/1512397225.html
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Holy Shit!!! Wonder what suckandfuck will have to say about this?
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I'm tired, I'm wasted, I love you darling.
Considering what bad taste Tiger has and the fact that Jessica is a skank who's fucked half of the cast of Jackass it's pretty believable. Not the positive type of publicity they had hoped for, I guess.
Submitted by charlie m on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:58pm.
Goddamn, I missed you, Charlie!
On Topic: Chestica is a fat hobag.
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"Boy was so bursting with fruity goodness I could almost taste the effin' rainbow." - Plecostomus 12/15/09
Submitted by TARD on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 6:02pm.
I wonder if Tiger is hung like this guy:
http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/m4m/1512397225.html
8====================> (_*_)
As Chelsea Handler said, Tiger is half black and half asian so he probably has a medium size penis (IF the black side of the family is well endowed that is)lol...but seriously despite the on-going stereotype, not all black guys are hung...and for what I have observed in real life, most are showers not growers.
"I AM a Bartender!...I do great things!" - Angelina from Jersey Shore
I wonder if Tiger is hung like this guy:
http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/m4m/1512397225.html
:O
"Submitted by QueenOfTrashin on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 5:33pm.
Well, well, hell, so Papa Preacher Joe's fine Christian daughter really is a cheatin' hobag! I bet Nick is lovin' this story!"
Oh, she's not an angel. It's pretty known that Jessica wasn't exactly Miss Goody Two-Shoes when she married Nick.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
I dunno, Queen.
I don't think it ever happened between these two. I mean, if it did, Jessica would have shown more signs that it was happening.
I just do not see it.
And fuck Tiger Woods.
Is Golf really a sport? Like right next to wood chopping with automatic chainsaws I'm sure.
No, for real, is golf a sport? At least at the obligatory event (which is not really a sporting event) ESPN summer competitions ESPN shows in the summer, the lumber games or whatever look so much more intense than strolling around a golf course...
Well, well, hell, so Papa Preacher Joe's fine Christian daughter really is a cheatin' hobag! I bet Nick is lovin' this story!
"Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid." -John Wayne
"Ignorance is curable, but stupidity is forever." -Gary Cryan
Okay, this pic was taken at the tournament where she sang the National Anthem. If standing with your arms barely around each other and a foot a part equals "touchy feely" that I've Touchy-Feely-ed over half of my husband's co-workers at this year's holiday party! Oh... and I must've also "groped" all of his friends at his birthday party! :) Yikes!
I don't doubt that Mr. W is a sleazeball of the highest degree. I don't doubt the Ms. S flirted with him because Tony wasn't paying her enough attention. But, c'mon! Really? Touchy-Feely?
i should so be out lookn for a job but then DLISTED! UGH newayz do we knw the official reason why nick and jessica broke up in the first place? i still can't find a satisfying answer for this
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I don't need SEX life FUCKS me whenever it can!
Who knew Holie was so into bandaid babies?
This is getting desperately boring. Where are the skanky dudes Tiger boinked? There have got to be some Ambien lovin', butt puttin' dudes out there!
Please..Jessica will fuck anybody that gives her attention. She's way too desperate for it not too.
TIGER IS JUST A GODDAMM FUCKING WHORE AND THERE IS NOTHING MOTHERFUCKING LEFT TO BE SAID. ITS LIKE ALL FUCKING RIGHT WE MEN GET OVER FUCKING INFATUATION AND LOOKS ONLY GET YOU SO FAR FOR SO LONG BUT FUCK THIS SHIT. ALL THESE CHICKS. AT FIRST IT WAS FUCKING LIKE LEAVE THIS GUY ALONE A COUPLE OF FUCKING HOS THEN ALL THE HOS FROM VEGAS AND FUCKING GODDAMN WHATNOT IN PRIVATE ROOMS HOLY SHIT YOU ARE A FUCKING SLEAZY DOUCHE HO BAG. HEY MAN IM REAL FUCKING FORGIVING PERSON BUT FUCKING MULTIPLE FUCKING HOS IS A SLEAZY SURROUNDING SPEAKS VOLOUMS.
I was going to comment that even Tiger isn't horny enough to drill her but then I had to admit - fuck he probably is!
stick with the prostitutes, tiger.
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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1
Oh my poop, bitch please, all the HWORES are getting attention so what, Simpson throws herself into the ring as well???
And a giant BITCH PLEASE to Skeletina being pregnant again! But I like the whole, "Will #7 keep The Brad from leaving" part, BWAH!
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
If she passed, then she dodged a jizz-filled bullet! And a swipe at her temple with a three iron.
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http://filethisunderwtfery.blogspot.com/
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 4:42pm.
GOD SEXY EYE PATCH HOZ ARE HWAT~!
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*swoons or maybe it's my equilibrium that's all fucked up now...* ;)
Chestica looks like the cat who ate the canary in that pic...or maybe a couple of 'em dipped in chocolate sauce.
(I keed.) I heart Chestica.
Joy to your world.xoxoxoxoxoxo.
Waah...
Okay, so I am like your resident conspiracy theorist here.
*adjusting tinfoil*
Looong ass time ago, I started reading this thread:
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message896750/pg8
It's been forever since I visited it. Truth be told, I stopped reading by page 7.
What's in there is this guy claiming he knows this other guy, who worked in that Newlywed show Chestica did 10 years ago?(Dunno, horz, I was too busy watching Mr. Rogers/PBS Kids then, I think?)
Anyway, this 'insider' is saying that there's a lot of kinky shit caught on tape, during that time she lived in that home with her ex, blablahblah...
So the thread goes on and I read on page 5(roughly 3 months ago) about how Tiger Woods was soon to be exposed as another degenerate celeb...
Maybe that person really knew something... or... how hard is it to predict that a young, mega rich, famous sports figure would end up cheating on his wife?
I just checked out that link you posted. I got through about 10 pages (its up to about 95 pages now) That's some crazy stuff. I've heard about some of the things they talked about (Illuminati, etc) but thought it was just some stupid rumor. But, lemme tell you, that guy sounds really convincing. It kinda got me thinkin a lil
I'll bet Tiger doesn't even know who this twat is. She's a desperate pathetic untalented famewhore, but this is a new low, even for her.
GOD SEXY EYE PATCH HOZ ARE HWAT~!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
I'm waiting for Joe Jackson to trot out some lame-assed MJ-TW twaddle.
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I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
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"twisting his floppy peen"....ROFLMAO
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living." Submitted by suckandfuck 12/14/2009 - 3:05pm.
*rolls eyes so hard that one falls out*
Hey! Look! Imma just like jack! @)
I make a eyepatch look good!
Joy to your world.xoxoxoxoxoxo.
Really? This is the most interesting story Star could "report"? I guess it's some attention on Jessica. Her Dad approves!
* Ms. Canna *
Every publicity shot of TW will forever be bandied about as another instance of infidelity.
Give it a rest, folks. I mean you, Joe Simpson!
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I never said that it was your fault. I said that I'm going to blame you.
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She just recognized those names from her morning cereal, she has no clue what a Quarterback or Golf Pro is.
Yes, because if your man isn't paying enough attention to you, cheating on him his going to make him come running back gushing with love.
FAIL!
Makes sense. Tony. Tiger. And a gasbag.
Oh - and TURD!
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Bottom-feeder.
I so bet she would have.......
Ride the spiral to the end you may just go where no ones been. SPIRAL OUT
This is beyond idiotic.
Wait, didn't CHestica hook up with Johnny Knoxville on the set of Dukes while they were BOTH still married.
Ok, then, possible.