Open Post: Hosted By Norway's Alien Portal
Over in Norway, Tommy Girl and his fellow Scientologists are on all fours with their b-holes pointed towards the sky because they are trying to summon back the alien portal which appeared early this morning.
Thousands of Norwegians called into the Meteorological Institute after some kind of blue laser light beam party filled the sky at around 8:30. Scientists are giving a "fuck if we know" response, and Russia's military denied they were testing missiles at the time.
One Norwegian scientist told the media, "I agree with everyone in the science community that this light was the weirdest thing. I have never seen anything like this ever. It may have been anything from an exploding missile whose launch went wrong - to a comet or other celestial object that for some reason has been behaving strangely. The spiral suggests the object came off course and balance and entered the spiral movement. Leaking rocket fuel could account for the blue light. But I know that the military have denied this explanation. So we could be looking at an entirely new natural phenomenon."
Has anyone questioned the ravers? Maybe they finally got bored with their puny glow stick light shows and needed something to really make them coo while they roll. Either that or The Heene family has taken their acts of fakery to Norway.
• 
LMAO CALL CANDY FINNEGAN!!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 3:18pm.
*twirls around with finger up ass*
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*farts*
*sniffs finger*
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Pssst, M.E. thinks she has agreed to do a documentary on addiction. She has no idea that she is about to face an intervention.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 3:18pm.
Well it seeeeeems nothing is going on in here!
Dance, monkey!
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*grabs cymbals*
*slams them together repeatedly*
BANG BANG!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 3:17pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 3:12pm.
Just get a tinfoil hat and a big drink. I consider myself above average intelligence and I have no idea what the f is going on in here. Other than Jazzy is trying to get me drunk.
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I also have no idea. But I also feel borderline crazy as well.
*twirls around with finger up ass*
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*farts*
*sniffs finger*
Well it seeeeeems nothing is going on in here!
Dance, monkey!
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 3:12pm.
Just get a tinfoil hat and a big drink. I consider myself above average intelligence and I have no idea what the f is going on in here. Other than Jazzy is trying to get me drunk.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
It sounds to me as if Enid R. Lipschitz finally got M.E. and this is the result.
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Never step into the path of a single woman and the last kielbasa sausage, it is very dangerous. That is dinner and a date all in one! - urmomma
Fine! I'll go play Farm Town!
*stomps off*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
*licks Jazzy's face*
BAWK!
*shits golden egg*
LOL @ achy breaky breakdown
IDK stoney, I have been actually working my ass off today
MFERSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Messing with mah Open Post!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 3:11pm.
*gets DUI rolling from window to desk*
I am eating the bestest, messiest sammich.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
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Dear Stranger,
What have you done with our lovely (and frequently normal) M.E? Please return ASAP.
lol yeah like russia would admit it if they were testing missles
Ok I'm tardy for the party. Someone catch me up.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
*gets DUI rolling from window to desk*
I am eating the bestest, messiest sammich.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
gigantic CO$ fart lites the sky
smells like greasy fries
this is a sign of the apocalypse
muaaaaaah suckandfuck and DD
bye
i am scared
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by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/09/2009
"What's the problem ma'am?"
"A MASSACUHH!"
"A massacur? Where did it occur?"
"IT GON OCCUR RIGHT NAH!!"
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709
I'm 1/3 through 'Precious' and I can feel a bawling spell coming on!!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:58pm.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:56pm.
I do. A triple, eh? Are you trying to get me drunk?
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Why no! I would think of it. Just trying to help you get lucky.
Be back later, hoes!
Elin Nordregen's homebound comet must have overshot it's mark.
_______________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:56pm.
I do. A triple, eh? Are you trying to get me drunk?
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:27pm.
A damn bill collector just called on my business phone looking for my ex husband, who has not lived here since 1999! They put me on hold and I got sick of Pachelbel's canon so I hung up.
-------------------
Thanks, Jill. I learned all that shit the hard way! This one evil conspiracy website installs porn programs onto your computer if you're on dial up. I got railroaded on another matter and that's how I learned that stuff. I could be wrong about some of it. The one thing I do know is to have really good and up-to-date firewalls. That one website crashed my computer 3 different times from home. When they couldn't crash the work computer, they banned me. LOL. They would send viruses and I believe there was at least one attempt at a remote installation of a keylogger.
A keylogger program is one that remotely records EVERY SINGLE keystroke you make. You would know if you have one because your characters on the screen would trail your typing like this... w h y i s m y c o m p u t e r s o s l o w. It stutters and sticks. That can happen for other reasons, too, but it's one telltale sign of a keylogger program - it's consistently weird.
REGARDING THOSE BILL COLLECTORS - JUST TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF. They probably want you to send proof that he's dead. Why the fuck should you do all that work over and over again when they can go to the SSI Death Index and get the proof themselves? They can also BUY a copy of the death certificate. DON'T TALK TO THEM!!!
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:55pm.
I'M GONNA KEEP ON WORKING AND TELLING OFF MY BOSSES AND SUCKING DICKS.
***************
They should give you a freakin' raise for all that multi-tasking!
____________________________________________
"It's like I'm walking on sunshine."
MJT, hope you like gin and tonics. Here's a triple.
Did somebody say, "Crazy Train"?!!!!!!!!!!! Shotgun! I get the engine.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:41pm.
I'm still waiting for my cocktail!
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cock?....
____________________________________________
"It's like I'm walking on sunshine."
I'M GONNA KEEP ON WORKING AND TELLING OFF MY BOSSES AND SUCKING DICKS.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Obviously, it's The Doctor in his TARDIS.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:53pm.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:41pm.
I'm still waiting for my cocktail!
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...tail?
I think I am gonna take a nap too.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:41pm.
I'm still waiting for my cocktail!
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Don't panic. The aliens came to get a copy of 'Tardy to the party'. It's HUGE on planet Lipsincony.
crazy is fun, join us won't you?
*waving at pretty blue lights "hey.....over here"*
I'll fuck you till u love me faggot
"The master suckandfuck" c2009
Off to nap time
Coma Caca!!
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"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
DD you are my new hero!
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:43pm.
S&F did you order Portnoy's Complaint yet?
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OH NO! THE NOTE FOR IT IS STILL SITTING ON MY DESK!!! I SHOULD'VE ASKED FOR THAT SHIT FOR XMAS. GOD DAMNIT.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Uvy, I'm sniffing glue.
*BA's the assholes in the parking lot*
S&F did you order Portnoy's Complaint yet?
Submitted by Webberbear on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:33pm.
Thanks, DD.
I told some holy roller to stick their head back in their Bible. Holy replied that I shouldn't be a coward and sign my name to my posts. I pointed out that Holy didn't post their name either. Then, Holy said that their full name and IP address were readily availbale to view, just like mine was. Holy then said that they were, "investigating (me) in the name of the Lord". I reported that last comment as "threatening" and I see that the mods have since removed it.
I'm a technical idiot, so I got all worried.
--------------------------------
I HATE FASCIST XTIANS.
Based on what you wrote, they've now strayed into harrassment and intimidation territory and YOU could report the website to the FBI, which I suggest you do. There will be NO repercussion to you. If the website gets enough complaints, I guarantee the shit will hit the fan for them. I've seen entire websites shut down because of ONE CEASE & DESIST letter from an attorney.
"Holy" fucker is a bully douche bag. Did he throw this link at you below? Old timers do it to newbies all the time to scare you and make you think they can see what you can see. This link tells you what your own IP address is. IT IS ONLY VIEWABLE TO YOU FROM YOUR COMPUTER. The only way they could see your IP is if that person was the moderator of the forum. If not, he can't see shit, unless he remotely installed a keylogger program onto your computer. Easier to do with dial-up than it is with cable. But that's really extreme. Keylogger programs are bought by most people to catch cheating spouses. Those programs are installed by one of the parties with direct physical access to the computer when the other isn't looking. Installing a remote keylogger is really hard and most people won't waste their time unless they're a stalker from hell.
Here's the website I was telling you about that tells you what your own IP is:
What's My IP:
http://www.whatismyip.com/
Also, every registered website has a program that tracks who's coming in and from where. It only gives IP addresses (not your street address, it'll say "Cox" in "Los Angeles" and cities (to provide traffic stats). That information is useless, however, if the user has an IP mask program, aka a PROXY.
am I talking to myself again?? damn it!!
this spiral alien shit is driving everyone crazierrrrrrrr
Coma Caca!!
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"You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex."
-Rachel U on Tiger sexual ways-
M.E.- What the fuck you ON today, girl????
LMAO!
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Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:34pm.
what in the hell is going on in here today. OP has taken the train to crazy town. *gets first class ticket*
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MJT, hold me, Im askeered.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:39pm.
MAKE SURE THEY BRING THEIR TAZERS!!!
*strips*
FUCK YEAH!
*runs around office, nakes, flailing arms above head*
*slaps ass*
GIDDY UP MOTHER FUCKER!
*makes horse noises*
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You so crazy. I think I wanna have yer baby.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
sucky and fucky my no no...I didn't write that about SADE.
*scratches head and tries to remember 5 minutes ago*
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:36pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:34pm.
I HAVEN'T SAID A FUCKING WORD ABOUT SADE S&FUCKY TIMES!
*shoves XXX dong up S&F's bung*
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YOU WERE THINKING IT. I AM CALLING THE POLICE.
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MAKE SURE THEY BRING THEIR TAZERS!!!
*strips*
FUCK YEAH!
*runs around office, nakes, flailing arms above head*
*slaps ass*
GIDDY UP MOTHER FUCKER!
*makes horse noises*
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:29pm.
God the SADE is fucking retarded at times.
How long is it going to take for her to figure out that she sux?
FUCK!
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EVIDENCE.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here
Webberbear sounds as if "Holy" is holier than thou.
Har har har!
And a tattletale!
ME...for the meds!
No not really.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 2:34pm.
I HAVEN'T SAID A FUCKING WORD ABOUT SADE S&FUCKY TIMES!
*shoves XXX dong up S&F's bung*
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YOU WERE THINKING IT. I AM CALLING THE POLICE.
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Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here