Things That Don't Make Sense: Billy Corgan & Jessica Simpson As A Couple
There's a hundred handfuls of famous dudes I can picture Jessica Simpson with (i.e. Huckleberry Hound and the Cuban Gynecologist), but Billy Corgan is not one of them. That's why this little article from E! Online has me asking Jesus for some assistance here.
E! says that a Smashing Pumpkin and a smashed bumpkin are smashing each other. Let's smash our heads in until this makes sense.
A source is saying that Jessica is completely "smitten" with Billy, and he's telling his friends that they are officially dating. But one of Jessica's "friends" isn't about to send them a couple's heart pendant necklace anytime soon. They told E!, "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends. They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.' "
Jessica would fall in love one of my dog's dingles if it sent her a nice text message, but what is going through Billy Corgan's fetus-like head? Maybe Billy is freakier than we thought and he actually gets the tingles from cuddling with Jessica on the sofa while Papa Joe awkwardly stares at them from the corner with one hand "in his pocket" and the other hand twerking his nipple. Freaky ass freaky bitches!