Tiger Woods Will Not Face Criminal Charges
Major Cindy Williams (Schlemiel, Schlemazel!!!) of the Florida Highway Patrol glided up to the podium today to announce that Tiger Woods will not face any criminal charges for killing a fire hydrant and running into a tree. However, Tiger will get a $164 ticket for careless driving. Major Cindy also said that there were no claims of Elin Nordegren whooping a trick and they will not seek a warrant to look into Tiger's medical records. The case is now closed!
I'm sure none of you read any of that, because you were too busy staring into Major Cindy's luminous eyes. I too am mesmerized by her. I just want to climb over the podium and find a way to sit my nalgas on her hat. That hat was made to hug butt cheeks. It's calling my ass cheeks' names (Used & Abused).
And if you some of you still aren't sure what happened that fateful November night, then let the Chinese explain it to Sims-style. You will understand why Elin went crazy that night. You might want to slap a bitch too if you constantly had a bubble of that whore Rachel Uchitel (holding a vacuum cleaner) following you.
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MK, you called this cheating mess a few months back on your "I guess, You guess"..
Neferew. OMG! I LUV the Queen of the BULL DYKEs! You know Rosie is in Florida hitting every fire hydrant and tree she can find!
Let's welcome Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, to the "PUNISHER'S CLUB"! Swingin' hard and aimin' low on http://www.BYLRP.com
http://www.butyourelikereallypretty.com
The future of journalism is here?!?!
Lately, Tiger has been reminding me of Jon Gosselin. Anyone else see that?
Great stuff. I wish our broadcasters would adopt this video technique to give us profound background information.
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Auri sacra fames
i love that video!
Submitted by blueangel on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 10:04pm.
If anyone else pulled out of the driveway and hit a fire hydrant and a tree nobody would care and I certainly don't think we would get a ticket for careless driving. The reason FL isn't seeking "criminal charges" is because he didn't do anything criminal. IMO this whole incident is ludicrous!
totally agree!
I swear to Xenu that I worked for someone who looked just like her. Its name was Kris, had a mullet, and it used to work as a truck driver. She moved to California and to my surprise, I discovered she's been on Animal Planet in that Animal Police show.
VIVA CHOLA REESE! Down with ugly whores who can't keep their legs OR their mouths shut!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
TIGERLILLY: DID YOU READ MY HISTORICAL TIGER WOOD I SLEPT WITH HIM TOO STORY? SLUTTY MADE ME TELL THE STORY.
I AM INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY
Coma Caca!!
@TIGERLILY:
CHOLA REESE!...CHOLA REESE!...CHOLA REESE!
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That outta' the way.I must say that I'm actually glad that the state has decided (this time) to stay outta' the affairs of the citizenry.Tiger played it perfect by NOT willingly incriminating anyone.A lesson for those watching.
What's the difference between a bull dozer and a bull dyke?
Ten pounds and a flannel shirt.
(or, in this case, 10 lbs and a funny hat).
Even that HWAT SLUT Trooper Cindy Williams gotta back off CHOLA REESE...Don't get me wrong, what crazy ass Elin did was WRAWNG! But at the same time, CHOLA REESE, DListed ICON, can do no wrong...This case gets more confusinger and confusinger....All I know is when CHOLA REESE pick up a golf club, you better OBEY...or run like hell...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by blueangel on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 10:04pm.
If anyone else pulled out of the driveway and hit a fire hydrant and a tree nobody would care and I certainly don't think we would get a ticket for careless driving. The reason FL isn't seeking "criminal charges" is because he didn't do anything criminal. IMO this whole incident is ludicrous!
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Well I think they were mostly interested in the domestic violence allegations. FL is one of the few states where the STATE presses charges against an aggressor, whether the victim wants to or not. So if his wife mauled him, they wanted to press charges. That's why they wanted his medical records.
If anyone else pulled out of the driveway and hit a fire hydrant and a tree nobody would care and I certainly don't think we would get a ticket for careless driving. The reason FL isn't seeking "criminal charges" is because he didn't do anything criminal. IMO this whole incident is ludicrous!
Major Cindy Williams (Schlemiel, Schlemazel!!!)
LMAO!!
Major Cindy Williams (Schlemiel, Schlemazel!!!)
hazenphefer incorporated... I remember that shit!
Anywaze... this was the best bitch they could put on the Tiger Woods case??? HAHAHAHA!!!
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pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
I like him. He's hot. BTW, my friend saw his profile on a site with many nice photos. It seems called 'Rich kiss. com'. Let me check it for you guys.
Money talks and rich assholes walk.
Does anyone else find the animation with Chinese speaking hilarious? This is the first time Chinese makes so much sense LOL (even though I don't understand a word)
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 6:28pm.
Why does the cop have an imprint of an arse on her hat?
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It really does look like my bike seat.
Perhaps it is some kind of odd invitation, yes?
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
HSOTM frontrunner fo sheezy.
Submitted by justaguest on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 7:58pm.
I am thinking Tiger's punishment should be to have to do Major Cindy Williams, repeatedly with no bag over her head.
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I think Cindy would be a step up, judging from the pics of Tiger's tricks. Why do famous men seem to f*ck around with the skankiest, most plastic-looking whores? I think it says a lot about what kind of person they *really* are.
WHOA! All newscasts should feature animation like that! I'd start watching again.
The news should also always be reported in Japanese.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
A Dlisted Public Service Announcement: http://www.paris-kim.com/potholes/munch.htm
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2009-03/24/reports-of-my-death.aspx?...
Now we know what happened to Rojo Caliente's sister!
I'd say Tiger Woods' auto insurance will probably pay for the neighbor's damaged lawn/tree and for the repair of the fire hydrant. The property owner can certainly expect at least that.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe isn't it, that beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks.
Holy Gomer Pyle!!
I am thinking Tiger's punishment should be to have to do Major Cindy Williams, repeatedly with no bag over her head.
JUST LET TIGER BE GREAT!
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I do think a carpenter needs a good hammer to bang in the nail.~Oliver Reed
Submitted by 2Di4 on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 7:47pm.
Our newscasters in the US need to get their act together. Why the hell did they not have re-creations of such important events as Latarian Milton stealing a car (twice) and beating his grandmaw up for wings at Walmart? CNN needs to get on that shit, chop-chop!
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They were too busy doing hood rat stuff.
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
Our newscasters in the US need to get their act together. Why the hell did they not have re-creations of such important events as Latarian Milton stealing a car (twice) and beating his grandmaw up for wings at Walmart? CNN needs to get on that shit, chop-chop!
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Champion fist-pumper and true inventor of the friggin' pouf.
Shit I can feel Tigers pain from here! Cops didn't have to fuck with him, Elin is fixin to stick Odin's sword up his ass and twist it as more and more of these chicks pop up saying they tasted Tigers schwanstucke!
the end of that video tells the TRUTH...It totally makes sense. $164 is nothing...I know people who got bigger tickets for lesser shit...this is preferential treatment as always...that won't even cover the cost of the hydrant or a new tree. That is bullshit.
It burrrrrrrns!!!! - Miss Coco Peru
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKNZICoKSdA
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 7:16pm
I don't talk to trolls. Bye bye.
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
Sugaroo on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 7:14pm.
Why does every woman cop look like Hulk Hogan's uglier cousin?
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RUDE! Who the fuck do you think is protecting you, yellabelly?
Why does every woman cop look like Hulk Hogan's uglier cousin?
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
I kept waiting for Yogi Bear to pop out and say hello to Ranger Smith.
http://thebitchywaiter.com/
Total Hot Slut of the day, for sure. make it happen, please?
Can she please be named "Hot Slut of the Day"?
JLo sat on that hat and threatened, "Yo, don't let that tape with my hairy ex ever see the light of day. Just remember, I'm Jenny from the Block!"
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"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
always yes always making our dreams come true....
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Pero no, no te vallas no me dejes un triste adios.
cuz its an asshat
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Pero no, no te vallas no me dejes un triste adios.
Yup;
Just how I imagined. Thanks, MK for the great laugh!
That was THE hottest news video I've ever seen.
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ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!
It's going to cost a lot more than $164 to fix that fucking hydrant! He should pay a lot more. Is it just me or does Tiger remind me of Urkel?
LIke whoa. I think a hole can of worms is about to be opened.
Why does the cop have an imprint of an arse on her hat?
RE: I don't get this! If this happened on his own property and not on a public street, why should he get a citation? Just musing.
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It was two houses down from his on a public street on his neighbors lawn. Not only did he damage his neighbors front lawn he also hit their tree and damaged city property by destroying the municipal fire hydrant.
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"All Those Who Wander Are Not Lost."
ASSHAT!
@ sisterg13 :
You think FLorida cops are bad? Try Chicago cops. Utterly horrible.
And this woman looks like a warden on 'Women of Cell BLock H'