Tiger Woods Doesn't Want To Talk
Cops from the Florida Highway Patrol knocked on Tiger Woods' door several times this weekend to interview him about murdering a fire hydrant and other things. Tiger's lawyer shut the door in the faces of the officers like they were Jehovah's Witnesses.
Apparently, Tiger is keeping his lips sealed. But Tiger did manage to release this statement on his website. Just picture Elin Nordegren standing over his ass with a golf club in her hand and a "BITCH DON'T" look in her eye while he wrote this. It'll make more sense that way.
As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore.This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.
The statement still wasn't enough for the FHP to drop the subject. TMZ says they are working on getting a search warrant, so that they can peek into Tiger's medical files to see if the scratches on his face came from the accident or Elin's CLAW OF REVENGE. If they find out that his injuries came from the hand of Elin, she could be arrested for domestic abuse.
Meanwhile, Tiger's rumored mistress whore Rachel Uchitel immediately rushed to Los Angeles this weekend to meet with lawyer to the famewhores Gloria Allred. Rachel has already publicly denied the affair, but that isn't stopping her from milking this cow until it is completely dry. And even then, she will continue to pull on its utters until its organs fall out. Or until she gets her own reality show. Either or.
• 
Another Tiger Woods AFFAIR!!! Escandalo! Elin is going to KILL him.
Hahahha! Sandbitch - I just made my way here to say the same thing!!
Yikes, another ho??!
Anyone see Wanda Sykes talking about Tiger? Too funny...
TMZ is reporting that Tiger has ANOTHER ho. That explains why Mrs Tiger smashed windows on both sides.
http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/01/tiger-woods-us-weekly-jaimee-grubbs-affair...
Ha ha has anyone seen pictures of Tiger's alleged mistress in her white bikini - best camel toe ever!
http://www.rumermills.com/tag/rachel-uchitel/
This broad is rather large. Hmmmm. Are we absolutely sure its a broad??
"My motto is: If it doesn't make your pussy pucker or your wallet burst, then don't do it."-MK
Rachel Coochitell looks like MadTV or SNL parody of a famewhore, damn.
I don't get it. What is it that this bitch wants?
Gloria Allred is a fucking joke of a lawyer.
Tiger Woods must be fucking joking. I know they think we "the people" are just poor dumb fucks that would believe just about anything (those are not my pants, I was just giving the transvestite hooker a ride home, I was buying crack for research for a movie role...) but good god man, that is a sack of bullshit your laying down, nobody is going to believe that...
Come on people! Don't be silly. Elin's ass attacked Tiger with a golf club(of all things!) and he was afraid for his life, so that's why he ran out of the house at 2 am in the morning. Tiger doesn't want us to know he got beat up my a woman, and he was afraid of her. When Chris Brown beat up that crazy bitch known as Rihanna. The feminazi cults, and the girlie boy clubs were screaming "off with his head!" I bet if Tiger would've beat her up, everyone would've screaming the same thing!
I hate to defend celebrities, but they have no right to do that shit. If it weren't Tiger Woods they wouldn't be wasting their time but like the fucking busybodies they are they want to be all snoopy. What fucking assholes. I'd get a team of lawyers together just to bring their asses down. Fucking nosey ass cops.
"There are three things I'm afraid of clowns, homeless people and drag queens" - Jeff Lewis
Elin is much more attractive than the skank piece on the side.
However, I have a theory about this... I worked with a girl once. She was not attractive at all, chubby, ugly face, double-or-triple chin, you get the idea. But she had shagged all kinds of married men, and it was because she would literally do anything in bed- three ways, orgies, group sex etc etc, so perhaps Tiger's skank is the same way.
Too funny. You know Elin threatened his ass. We know when she pulled him out of the car, she kicked him in the ass for good measure. Elin is my new shero.
this ho looks just as skanky as I pictured her to be. As far as Tiger not wanting to talk to the po-po, she obviously tried to bust his ass for cheating with this skank, and he does not want Elin to go to jail for domestic violence, that would be **shudder** he is not as squeaky clean as he pretends to be and he got it on with a skank ho. If she (the skank) was so innocent, why would she hire Gloria Allred, who loves to defend anyone and everyong just to get publicity..this thing stinks to high heaven, and Tiger should change his name to Dog...Horny Dog...bow wow wow yippie yo yippe yeah!!
Mrs. Patrick Campbell, will you stop it with the "stinkfish" references? As if guys don't stink "down there." Sorry but y'all can smell like rotten mushrooms on moldy toast sometimes (and your jizz smells like Clorox) but I'm not calling you a stinksnake!
If he says it is only a minor traffic accident why the tight lips? Jackass.
This whole thing is utterly ridiculous, but it will keep the old biddies in my neighborhood busy talking about someone else business....normally they can only watch the comings and goings on our street during the summer, which provides endless grist for the rumor mill. Can't really do that now, too cold to hang out on the porch or sit by the window. At least one of the old ladies on my street must have said.........SOMETHING IN THE MILK AIN'T CLEAN......during the past 4 days.
Tiger Woods's lips don't even close, I'm sure of it. It's that mouth-breathing thing that Diddy has going on.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
Oh. No. Rachel, Rachel, please, not the duckface...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's nothing like a little black pussy!
Tiger is dropping out of the tournament this week.
I guess those scratches didn't heal fast enough. LOL!
TEAM TIGER!
I cannot get into this scandal.
But you know his pre-nup rivals Donald Trumps, just sayin'...
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Great, what the world needs is one more hemorrhoid lipped famewhore, and more Gloria Allred.
"WHO ORDERED THE HAMBURGER WITH AIDS?"
The stinkfish is smiling thinking about the zillion$$ she will soon be ripping off Tiger for in the coming divorce.
FHP sure is wasting a lot of tax payer money on investigating "non-criminal" behavior. When you want the cops to get involved they won't....this hardly seems fair. Don't tell them a fucking thing Tiger!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 1:55pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 12:39pm.
VIVA CHOLA REESE!
************************
I can get on my soap box and talk about how violence is never justified (and I believe that), but as soon as someone calls crazy ass Elin 'Chola Reese', I start to like her...I can't help it. How can a DLister not like a Chola Reese????
******************************************
Right?! She suddenly becomes a hero this way!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
That Rachel chick looks like a fucking skank. Whether she boned Tiger or not, you just know she's up to no good.
TEAM CHOLA REESE WITHERSPOON!!!!!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Douchechill!
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 12:39pm.
VIVA CHOLA REESE!
************************
I can get on my soap box and talk about how violence is never justified (and I believe that), but as soon as someone calls crazy ass Elin 'Chola Reese', I start to like her...I can't help it. How can a DLister not like a Chola Reese????
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I don't believe the story is true, either, but just going along with the fiction, she smashed the window in order to open the doors (Tiger was woozy and didn't respond when she asked him to unlock the door),she then reached in and unlocked the doors and then opened Tiger's door and pulled him out...if it was just that the doors were locked, well, she wouldn't have had to drag him out of the smashed-up window once the doors were all unlocked.
Sooner or later Tiger has to come out of the cave and show his face in public.
He's got some explaning to do & so does his bat shit crazy wife.
_______________________________________________
"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
It's annoying the whole 'please respect our privacy..' when they do something fucking stupid and over the top. No! We will get all up in your business. Or TMZ will..
And thanks, Tiger for creating another nobody overnight 'celebrity'. This twat is running around with the strained 'I know I'm famous please don't stare' look on her face and wearing sunglasses at night. I saw on Page 6 it was mentioned a few days ago she has a fiancee who died in the towers on 9/11. What significance is that here? A ho is a ho. Christ.
And Gloria Allred- Does she actually *win* any cases? Do any of her clients ever get paid? She's the Jesse Jackson of the bar.
She shows up but does she actually get anything done?
Oh dear -it looks like someones been at the fake tittys,fake lips and fake teefs doctor and I dont mean Gloria Allred.
Dont know what the fuck Tiger was doing with this ho-she sure aint no oil painting....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
How does Tiger get away with refusing to talk to the police when he admitted that he fucked up the piece of public property (The fire hydrant)?
Anyone else would be hauled away to the pokey until we made a full statement!
And check out the lips on that whore!
**************************************************
Get the fucking ads out of the comments section!!!
lol stoney - it's tomorrow... but thank you for remembering.
jazz - no, thank God...
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" the lovely snowpiece 11/25/09
Oh shit, wait. It's tomorrow, isn't it?
LOL!
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Just goes to show that anyone can snap if you push them far enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Happy Birthday, jack!
*pummels your crotch with blazing log*
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
VIVA CHOLA REESE!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 11:13am.
...Shit, my ex-wife threw fucking firewood at me... hahahaha good times.
====
Was it on fire at the time?
"CNN: The Florida Highway Patrol says the delay is surprising because the accident is so minor. What does Tiger Woods gain by not talking to them?
Toobin: Woods may not talk to them because there is possibly something unpleasant and embarrassing that he doesn't want to share with them, and he has that right. Based on what is publicly known, Woods has a public relations problem much more than a legal problem. He's arguably the most famous athlete in the world, and his team's overall strategy is a gamble that his general statement of responsibility won't be overtaken by events or other disclosures."
Coma Caca!!
Submitted by Mopa on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 11:11am.
I'm looking at the pics of Tiger's car from the accident scene over at TMZ. I don't know if the 'Elin smashing the back windows trying to rescue Tiger' is something that was actually said by her, but if it was, it's such a load of bullshit. There is absolutely nothing wrong on the driver's side of the car, or even two of the other three doors, that would make him unable to open the door and get out.
We all know that she was chasing him down the driveway hitting his car with a golf club as he was trying to get away. That's why his rear driver's side window was smashed out.
*********************
Let me preface this by saying in no way do I believe the story to be true but...
Maybe she couldn't open either door so she grabbed a gold club to smash in the windows because she was afraid smashing the front windows would result in lacerations from the glass? Maybe she smashed in the back, jumped in the front, unlocked the doors and dragged him out without dragging him through the glass. I'm sure that is the angle they will go for if they decide to continue on with this fuckery.
Oppsie Tiger............looks and sounds as though you may have gotten caught with your pants down!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula
Submitted by Granny Frump
I would have never guessed she could snap like that if I hadn't watched all those episodes of Snapped on the Oxygen channel.
****
I fucking LOVE that show!!!! I like to watch it and every few minutes give Mr. Uvy the side-eye and ask how much life insurance he has.
********
Mr. F. is very creeped out when I watch that show.... he thinks it's a "how-to" show!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 12:06pm.
I fucking LOVE that show!!!! I like to watch it and every few minutes give Mr. Uvy the side-eye and ask how much life insurance he has.
Hahaha, I do the same thing to Mr. Flatsy! Just keeping him on his toes. :)
Never cared about this couple before. But now that I know they both swing golf clubs, I love them. I love them.
____________________________________
Rachel's hair looks unhealthy. she needs a new color or something. YES I AM THIS BORED to look at someones hair status!!
Coma Caca!!
Submitted by Granny Frump on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 12:02pm.
I would have never guessed she could snap like that if I hadn't watched all those episodes of Snapped on the Oxygen channel.
****
I fucking LOVE that show!!!! I like to watch it and every few minutes give Mr. Uvy the side-eye and ask how much life insurance he has.
**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu
so that's what a billion buys these days....a trophy bride and a
trophy mistress....well for him at least....Oprah still can't
pay anyone enough
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
I think ELin is really pretty, and I don't even like blondes.
************************************************************
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
I think ELin is really pretty, and I don't even like blondes.
************************************************************
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
The wife looks deceptively insipid. I would have never guessed she could snap like that if I hadn't watched all those episodes of Snapped on the Oxygen channel.
I can't say I admire Woods taste in women. A top lipless nanny and a professional star-fucker. There's got to be a middle ground.
Fucking Gloria Allred. She always has to hop on any whore publicity train she can find. Bitch also tries to act like she's some great feminist leader or some shit. The truth is she always defends the famous jackass's side ho.
Shiiit I don't care what happened but all I know is if I was at home with two kids, and my husband would be fucking that minging ho looking fake biaatch, I would do more than attack him with a golf club. I know you shouldn't generalise about men, but ffs you have a beautiful woman at home and you go out to shag some cheap looking homewrecker?!? WHY? Why is his ego so big that he thinks she is probably doing it because gosh jolly he is such a handsome interesting man? No Tiger, she is only sleeping with you for the fame and the cash. To risk a family at home for some cheap fuckery with that ho..... I don't understand men. I really don't.