Tiger Woods Has Refined Tastes
When Kobe Bryant was accused of touching parts not belonging to Vanessa Bryant, he immediately apologized to his wife by making her finger sparkle like she just gave RPattz a prostate exam. It's the only type of apology a true gold digger will accept. So it's no surprise that Tiger Woods knows he needs to go diamond mining if he wants his wife Elin Nordegren to forgive his possibly cheating ass.
TMZ says that during a phone conversation with some friend, Tiger said that his wife had "gone ghetto" on him and that he had "to run to Zales to get a 'Kobe Special.'"
Yes, a kiss begins with Kay. And Tiger DIDN'T GO TO JARED. But everyone knows that Zales is the finest jooree store in the mall, so Tiger made a wise choice. Only the best for Elin.
My cholita cousin agrees. When her man proposed to her with a garnet (GARNET!!!) ring he bought at Walmart, her response was, "Uh. Why didn't he go to Zales?" Exactly.
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"jooree" lol that's how the refined housewife of atlanta that got booted says it! lol
***who gonna check me boo?
Zales??? Motherfucker better get to Harry Winston or Fred Leighton at the very least.
Guys, go ahead and do what you need to do. As long as you can afford it, the Kobe Special will make everything right.
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Plastic Additives
WOW'S! Tiger just lost all street cred. I saw this shit last week online...Thinkin,"Yeah,right.They will all lie and that would be the end of it. Happy family again and the rumor would die." But, this bitch really knew her man was creepin. DAMN! That Rachel girl has her game face on in LA already. Crazy women...
Submitted by Fraggle on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 2:41am.
If Tiger did cheat on wifey:
Then, this pygmy-faced fuggity freak piss poor example of a 'man' is just another ugly rich/famous dude who's convinced himself that every hot chick [or any chick with a pulse and a wanton vagina or bum-hole] wants to hop on his peen for his 3 minutes of pathetic, non-romantic, non-sexy, sweaty, grunting and thrusting with a female's body like he masturbates in the shower with a handful of shampoo. Then, when the almighty prick marries and the little woman is taking care of his kids she birthed, is emotionally drained and physically exhausted and just plain tired of feeding the ego of mister who expects a porno-style faked orgasm so mister's little shrivel dick and saggy scrot can feel all important and potent and powerful and gosh forbid he and it be denied . . .well, boo fucking hoo for him.
Women have the clits [made only for her pleasure and nothing else], tits [for pleasure and life-giving food] and womb [from which mortals start their journey of life] and Freud wrote about 'penis' envy? HA!
Tiger, go fuck yourself.
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Have I told you lately that I love you?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
If Tiger did cheat on wifey:
Then, this pygmy-faced fuggity freak piss poor example of a 'man' is just another ugly rich/famous dude who's convinced himself that every hot chick [or any chick with a pulse and a wanton vagina or bum-hole] wants to hop on his peen for his 3 minutes of pathetic, non-romantic, non-sexy, sweaty, grunting and thrusting with a female's body like he masturbates in the shower with a handful of shampoo. Then, when the almighty prick marries and the little woman is taking care of his kids she birthed, is emotionally drained and physically exhausted and just plain tired of feeding the ego of mister who expects a porno-style faked orgasm so mister's little shrivel dick and saggy scrot can feel all important and potent and powerful and gosh forbid he and it be denied . . .well, boo fucking hoo for him.
Women have the clits [made only for her pleasure and nothing else], tits [for pleasure and life-giving food] and womb [from which mortals start their journey of life] and Freud wrote about 'penis' envy? HA!
Tiger, go fuck yourself.
No amount of money or jewelry can compensate for being (publicly) humiliated. But then again, my moral code was written in the Stone Age. Like so many other before him, he'll probably be able to buy his way out of trouble. God, I sometimes feel like a relic. Dignity and self-worth, girls, that's what it's all about!
SOME women show KINDNESS to others in their time of need!:
(OHiNY: Oveheard Everywhere)
Elena's the Most Creative Pimp in Canadia
Oldish Ukrainian woman: How you have babies with hips like this? How you do this? So skinny. Tsk, tsk.
Skinny chick: Huh?
Oldish Ukrainian woman: Here, eat my husband's sausage. He fill you up. Eat! Eat!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I told him to tell her to be herself. I think he did and now she's bein a whore!"
~ david Letterman - Staff Fucker
http://www.bestofthe2000s.com/media5.html
"piggy is listed and dlisted isn't! Fuckers." ~ TITS VOTE!
I'd take the kids and leave his azz with the quickness...she'll get plenty of money in child support for those 2 kids
Why was Rachel Uchitel disappointed in Tiger Woods' sexual prowess?
After only 3 or 4 strokes, he moved onto the next hole.
What do a fish and a tiger have in common?
Elin Woods likes to batter them.
Submitted by alice on Sun, 11/29/2009 - 6:45pm.
Also this picture is so damn contrived. Look at tiger with is fake ass "oh the dog is licking me and it tickles so!" face! ...
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I nearly spit coffee onto my computer screen reading that. =D
I'm hoping that the whole "Kobe Special" quote is false. Cheating on someone is disrespectful enough, but then to make light of it that way... callous.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I thought the Kobe special was anal rapage...on a happier note your cholita deserves the bling and Zales is da shiznit for us broke hookers in LA. Sound like Le Tigre might be ailing in the bank account.
Redhead's Do It Better, Just Ask Phoebe Price!
zales be style
It just goes to show you, even a supermodel can't tame the wandering peen.
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
Is it just me, or does Tiger have empty eyes? Like he has no feelings?
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/11/09
Submitted by sushi on Sun, 11/29/2009 - 9:01pm.
G.Allred went to meet the WHORE rachel at the airport. why hire Allred at 3am??!!
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Who dat ho gwanna sue? Ooooh, did Elin threaten to go all Put-put upside a skank's head? Did Le Tigre? Or is that Skeezer just tryna sue the National Enquirer to get Elin off her golf trail? Yeah, it's probably sumpin' borin' like dat...NE will pull out some ho who got some cellies of the two fuck birds in question holdin' hands or kissin' on each other's fuck parts, and Gloria will STFU and take a ho's cash...then ho will go all into hiding to avoid the wrath of DA ELINATOR!!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I thought Kobe special was size 94 basketball shoes.
One word: GRAFF
G.Allred went to meet the WHORE rachel at the airport. why hire Allred at 3am??!!
on another vid Rachel says "I wish I could speak to you but cant" ahahhahahahaha
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=ec40311e-bf34-4330-b214...
Coma Caca!!
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And how much you want to bet we'll be watching her reality show in about 6 months.
G.Allred went to meet the WHORE rachel at the airport. why hire Allred at 3am??!!
on another vid Rachel says "I wish I could speak to you but cant" ahahhahahahaha
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=ec40311e-bf34-4330-b214...
Coma Caca!!
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And how much you want to bet we'll be watching her reality show in about 6 months.
I find it hard to believe that anyone TW would have spoken to would have leaked this sort of info. "Gone ghetto" and "Kobe special" sounds very made up to me.
here is a qoute from some b.s. new york social magazine by ms. rachel:
Occupations: "I'm obsessed with work ethic and can get anything done. I'm aware of what I am good at and what I am not, and I surround myself with people to help get the job done flawlessly. Having once worked in live TV, I'm intuitive about reading people's wants and needs, and I take customer service to a whole new level.
$$$$$$$$
my favorite part is " i take customer service to a new level"....i bet you do bitch!
Also this picture is so damn contrived. Look at tiger with is fake ass "oh the dog is licking me and it tickles so!" face! I do think the kids are cute and dont really have anything bad to say about her. Tiger ruins the pic in my opinion.
G.Allred went to meet the WHORE rachel at the airport. why hire Allred at 3am??!!
on another vid Rachel says "I wish I could speak to you but cant" ahahhahahahaha
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=ec40311e-bf34-4330-b214...
Coma Caca!!
I've finally figured it out!
Ru-Pleccy's avi reminds me of Drunk-Ass-Sandra Lee! (only maybe a little more ethnic)
Jermajesty's Secret Service
Now, I dont know what really happened here, but if he did cheat on her color me not surprised. Tiger has always given off a TOTAL PRICK vibe to me. Oh excuse me, TOTAL selfish prick vibe, is what I meant to say.
Wouldn't that ring be a constant reminder of how her husband cheated and lied? Kobe's wife is a total gold digger but this girl does not seem that way IMO.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Sun, 11/29/2009 - 3:19pm.
I'm sorry, but for her to get that crazy, it must be love. Obviously not a healthy kind. Certainly she's not worried about finances as she will get a fuckload of cash if she were just to divorce his sorry ass anyway. I think that (in most cases) when women go ballistic like this over something like that it is because of real hurt.
True. If she were a gold digger she'd be happy to have solid grounds for a divorce in her favor. On the contrary, she was clearly upset (understatement of the year).
I think his kids are gorgeous. I don't know how anyone could look at them and call them "butt ugly."
I also wondered if she yelled 'fore' before she swung at his ass.
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I would kill to get my hands on that picture. lol
False statement. Tiger know his ass better get to Harry Winston or Tiffany's.
There's no way to clean this up.I'm surprised they admitted what really happened so soon.
I hope he doesn't press charges against her.
Pimpessca, what if his ass gave her some disease? I think they may drive someone to violence. Especially if it's herpes some shit you can't cure.
I also wondered if she yelled 'fore' before she swung at his ass.
That quote only proves that Tiger is full of shit. He usually comes off as a fucking milquetoast yuppie to the public.
Those Chilren is butt-ugly.
He's no Tiger Woods, he's a Gary Playa'.
That statment either proves
a) this shit is really false and that's really what happened (something tells me that golddigger would have gladly played Boom I fucked Your Boyfriend).
b) he really loves his wife and genuinely doesn't want her to get a bad rep. He sees that all this is his fault and maybe genuinely feels bad about it.
or c) bitch really needs to get back to his clean image or the whole "family man" is ruined and it's fucking with his cash money.
"There are three things I'm afraid of clowns, homeless people and drag queens" - Jeff Lewis
Submitted by Norwaygirl: "I would think this woman has enough diamonds, cars, houses, rings, clothes, shoes and handbags. What she doesn't have, is a faithful husband.."
True.
Although I bet all the phony bitches she has to deal with are saying mean things and a big fat ring might shut them up. Rich women can be such condescending cunts.
Put a cockring on it!
Don't get married!
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I cheated on my wife yesterday. Then I came home and banged my wife and gave her crabs. Then I blamed it on the dog I bought last week at a puppy mill. I am a great husband----->
A-one, and a-two, and -
If you like it put a bigger ring on it
If you like it put a bigger ring on it
I'll be mad if that box says "Zales" on it
I'll putt it up your butt with your 8-iron, git!
Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
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Bottom-feeder.
He is a scum bag for runnin around on his wife tho. Dudes and dudettes need to realize that gettin hitched should be a life time deal. If you wanna screw other peeps then don't put a ring on the finger.
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Ladies and Gents I think we have a winner.
Men/women if you cannot stay faithful to your partner stay the hell away from the wedding chapel.
Tiger Woods incident should be a warning to all married men. If you can't keep it in your pants expect a golf club upside your head.
Dave L:
word!!!
Coma Caca!!
@ Pimpcessa
Agree. Some people called her a golddigger, but I never saw her as one. She has been with him for a very long time before marriage, and all her actions and the way she kept a very low profile while being a girlfriend/wife of one of the most famous men in the world show her as a woman who sincerely LOVED Tiger.
By the way, they're FL residents, and in case of divorce in FL all the marital assets are split 50-50, unless there's a prenup agreement. I've got my divorce in FL. :-)
First- I wouldn't kick her outta bed.
Second- I don't need to brush up on shit, cuz I don't care WTF went on.
He is a scum bag for runnin around on his wife tho. Dudes and dudettes need to realize that gettin hitched should be a life time deal. If you wanna screw other peeps then don't put a ring on the finger.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 11/29/2009 - 2:17pm.
taking a ring for this kind of shit is beyond trashy and tacky...i cannot stand bitches who talk about how they require this amount of carats
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I'd be taking a sports car for compensation in this little situation. Pay me in horsepower, not useless stones.
Seriously, who knows what went on here, but if that story about Zales is true, that's pathetic.
Elin has some big ass hands. Forget the golf club, she should have just slapped him.
FYI- He does not have to talk to the police. Single person accident - he needs to show his driver's license, registration and proof of insurance possibly give a simple statement. All this blah, blah, blah about cancelling appointments and rich man's justice is Bovine Scatology. In the same position, we could assert the same right. Enough with the foolishness and brush up on your legal and constitutional rights. GAD...
WHy did the Tiger have two black eyes?
Cause it didn't listen the first time, OHHHHHH!
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"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1
If she'd had a gun we would not even be discussing this.
Unless she's a bad shot too.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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I agree he's trying to save his wife's ass, but only b/c in turn it saves HIS.