There's Nothing "Fresh" About JLo's New Video
While watching JLola's "Fresh Out of the Oven" video, you may be waiting for a 1-900 number to pop up, but unfortunately it never comes. Instead you gets a zillion shots of her "Looweebatons," her scarecrow wig, her red lips and her shadow dancing moves (Paula Abdul just filed a copyright infringement lawsuit for that one).
If the song alone made your ears close for business, then brace yourself for the video, because it taints all your senses. You know, for a song that talks about cookies and ovens, you'd think JLola could throw in a shot of a delicious pie. Even a close-up of a half-eaten Donette would be better than seeing her damn ass shoes over and over.
If you'll excuse me, I must go watch Rocky Horror Picture Show to cleanse myself of this mess.
via Just Jared
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cmcmcmcm
This is nothing more than a product placement vehicle. I'm surprised they didn't flash the price of the Louboutins and where to get them, as well as the jewelry ad. Vacuous and stupid, she looks more like a cracked-out Whitney. J-Lo is becoming J-low.
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She needs to gain a little weight and stop messing around with Gwen's make-up, it doesn't suit her one bit.
love jlo but this mess .. she is unrecognizable. doesn't look a bit puerto rican which is a negative to me. she looks fake and too skinny and that damn wig. song is okay, but her stuff from 1999 to about 2005 was off the chain.
is it just me or does she look and sound like classic Paula Abdul?
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Pure unadulterated crap. The music industry is dead and if this tripe doesn't prove it nothing will. But I'm not gonna rag too much on Britney, Rihanna, Shakira, Madonna or J'Lo. As long as there are people who listen to and buy their crap songs the music industry will continue to think it's generating fresh and relevant music. R.I.P. good music.
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I'd rather watch a half hour of "two girls, one cup" than this piece of shit. Did I mis-hear it or did she actually incorporate "Balenciaga" in the beginning of that cesspool?
So now we have Louboutins and Balenciaga? Girl hurting for some wardrobe refreshing?
_______
Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. (MK)
Submitted by boomsy on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 4:59pm.
I'm embarrassed to admit I remember one summer day in college bobbing a little bit to that "I'm Real" song she had with Ja Rule...and now, well, we all make mistakes, right?
*slaps shackles on boomsy*... nope, you're gonna have to pay for your crime!
-----------------------------
"Extra! Extra!
Read all about it.
Pinball Wizard in a miracle cure!
Extra Extra read all about it
EXTRA!"
I'm embarrassed to admit I remember one summer day in college bobbing a little bit to that "I'm Real" song she had with Ja Rule...and now, well, we all make mistakes, right?
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Submitted by boomsy on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 12:45pm.
Ugh; why must she be so terrible?
_____________________________________________________
Ha! My thoughts exactly. I came very close to getting an old J.Lo cd the other day but decided $3 was too much to pay for it.
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 10:19am.
JLO could be working with cutting edge dance/electronica /R n B producers and really doing something progressive with her "music" instead the same ole same ole rehash of shite that was played out 4 yrs ago.
I mean , look @ Madonna she is living proof that all you have to do to stay on top of the pop music game is just hire the flavor du jour of whatever producer is hitting the charts. She certainly has the $$$ to buy a hit. Basically, what I am saying is that all missy has to do is pay attention and she cant even do that. Your husband is one of the Kings of Salsa, you could even do an all Latin album , ANYthing but this mess above. ..
EPIC FAIL.
_____________
She did do a Latin pop album and I thought it was pretty boring, that she's pretty boring. Mariah Carey did pretty much the same thing as you describe above -- buy more current talents to be on her album while she did little runs here and there. I can only guess that no one really wants to work with JLo. And why would they? At least Mariah had a voice, at least with Madonna you know your stuff is going to be heard. Well, JLo is working with Pitbull, I guess. But even his "I Know You Want Me" sounds straight out of the 90s.
And for anyone who says JLo was a step up for Marc Anthony, I disagree. She isn't and never has been as beautiful as his voice.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 1:59pm.
@ beakers bitch
JLO was awesome in a movie "Selena" (about the singer Selena). I watched that movie so many times.
I never saw that one and I know the boy wouldn't have seen it, lol. I don't think this generation coming of age is familiar with any of her stuff except maybe her perfume.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 1:59pm.
@ beakers bitch
JLO was awesome in a movie "Selena" (about the singer Selena). I watched that movie so many times.
-------------------
I'll allow that J.Ho was ok in that movie, but I also believe it was that movie which "inspired" her to fashion herself a music career.
Which brings us to this wretched state of affairs.
=====================================
Bottom-feeder.
@ beakers bitch
JLO was awesome in a movie "Selena" (about the singer Selena). I watched that movie so many times.
And what's with these losers posting ads on here?!? MK - can't you block those accounts and posts? They don't belong here. NO ONE WANTS YOUR CRAP!
That is all...
Common sense is the genius of humanity - Goethe
She's actually had some good songs over the years, but that was a long time ago. Everything she has done in the past 3-4 years is absolute garbage and so annoying! She needs to stop already, her time is ovah!
Common sense is the genius of humanity - Goethe
I mentioned JLo in front of my 12 year old who unfortunately knows all the current famewhores, although I raised him right because he hates Miley Cyrus and all things Disney. The following is the ensuing conversation.....
Him: Who's JLo?
Me: Um, she was in a bunch of movies and sang some songs.
Him: Which ones?
Me: There was a song about waiting for tonight and another one that kinda went "the sun's shining on my face....something something"
Him: What else?
Me: Well, did you ever see.....uh, Anaconda?
Him: No.
Me: Um, hmmmm.....well, I don't think you saw the mother in law one with Jane Fonda......there was one where she was a wedding planner.....
Him: What else?
Me: Well, I don't think you saw the Cell or that one with the train. Hmmmm, well, she used to date P. Diddy.....
Him (facial expression shows one single recognizable thing): Ohhhh. So what does she do now?
The moral of the story is....she's been off the radar too long. She's like Mike Myers trying to come back with the Love Guru. Just disappear and raise your kids already, JLo.
I'd rather help my husband intall vent stacks than watch this.
*coming honey*
Ugh; why must she be so terrible?
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Submitted by poo on Sun, 11/22/2009 - 10:57am.
Let the parodies begin!!!
****************
please no , beyawnce and shaaaaaaaakira she wolf is enough torture plus this my god the end of the world as we know it !
___________________________________________________
no idea !
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Let the parodies begin!!!
***********************************************
"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
JLO could be working with cutting edge dance/electronica /R n B producers and really doing something progressive with her "music" instead the same ole same ole rehash of shite that was played out 4 yrs ago.
I mean , look @ Madonna she is living proof that all you have to do to stay on top of the pop music game is just hire the flavor du jour of whatever producer is hitting the charts. She certainly has the $$$ to buy a hit. Basically, what I am saying is that all missy has to do is pay attention and she cant even do that. Your husband is one of the Kings of Salsa, you could even do an all Latin album , ANYthing but this mess above. ..
EPIC FAIL.
Bleech..just awful.. next..
Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver.
Put me in front of a firing squad but I'd rather listen to Shitneys 3 peen song than this.
Some of the "notes" are so off key that I can't believe what I'm hearing. Even Vadge wouldn't pull shit like that.
And is she gonne be the new Janet Jackson? Is she, from now on, only gonne make albums that contain moaning about sex.
the director and editor should be tarred & feathered. sexy- not!
The funny thing about being a porn star is that everyone automatically assumes that they can sleep with you. This is what I do for a living. I don`t just let anyone get into my pants.
WHAT THE FUCK?! JLO has to know that this is garbage and will get her nowhere. Is this a joke? Maybe she is being punked and doesn't know it? o.0 This video and song are beyond tacky and are absurdly ghetto. Why not make fun, catchy, accesible dance tracks..? Waiting for Tonight and If You Had My Love weren't so bad. This is some of the worst "music" I have heard in years! YIKES! Makes Britney Spears 3 sound like a masterpiece.
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. "
Better yet, I hope that the Americans that are waiting in line for food and are tired of this fantasy realize that this fantasy is what got them on the breadlines in the first place. Big screen tvs aren't your friends....neither are louiebootons...louisvittons...louboton...whatever.
************************************************
"Indeed, the first cause of human ignorance....is subjection to authority which does not merit it." Robert Grosseteste (d. 1253)
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 11:30pm.
Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 11:11pm.
i wonder if you play this backwards if it reveals why the Music industry has gone down the shitter.
*
playing it forwards wasn't proof enough? :)
-------------------------------
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
I am too chicken to watch, besides, I might make the dog howl and wake my kid up.
Why do I have that horrible song "don't be tardy for the party' in my head now??
You know, there comes a time when you have to step aside, realize you are getting old, and stop trying to act like a kid. It's like my 47 y.o. fat ass trying to wear low riders and crop tops. It's friggin stupid, at best.
(I do still commute by bike, and I bet I look like an idiot, but, hey, it's easier sometimes).
This asshat probably has enough to retire 2 times over with the skeleton hubby and the twins. She needs to.
Oh, and who or what the hell is Pitbull, and do I want to know?
this makes me think lady cacas video should be in the louvre
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1
I can't stand that Pitbull guy... and JLow either of course.
Bless her heart, why does she keep trying at this music thing? It's horrendous.
____________________________________________
Pull My Finger
what the hell is happening.
Somehow, I made it through the video. The song and JLo's hair are ridiculous, but the shoes are great!
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I am in Athens now and it is really dirty but there is something about it that I can't quite put my finger on that I like.
I left the hotel this morning and it looked like the fucking Running of the Bulls outside!
I much prefer Mediterranean mentality too. I lived in Barcelona for two years and I would prefer to perish there than in Germany.
OT: JLo has been irrelevant since she married Skeletor but she keeps on trying. She fares better in movies so she should get back into that while her ass is still on her shoulders!
***************************************
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Submitted by snaphappy on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 11:35pm.
~~~
There's a BI floating around where she's one of the main suspects of doing a Milli Vanilli, hence the shocking recent "musical" output.
********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Rascel said
I agree, Rome is kinda dirty and so many prostitutes, but I simply love Italy. I lived there for 9 months and fell in love with people, music, food, architecture, the whole Mediterranean mentality. My favorite places are Venezia and Firenze (Florence).
Me too! I LOVE Italy! I lived there in 1994. My fave is Venice and Ravanna is second. Italy is just amazing. I am partial to Greece too.
Submitted by Anonymousfckr on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 11:18pm.
Didn't she watch it before releasing it?
***********************************************************************
Obviously not . . . why should she suffer like the rest of us, when she can just profit from the (very few) dumb-@$$es who will actually like this and buy her crap?
------------------------------------------------
It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
S&W's ears yell out in a Fred Sanford voice: "Oh Elizabeth! This is the big one! I'm comin' to join ya, honey!" If my ears had a heart, they'd be dead.
This is about as fresh as Little Debbies from 1992.
ginger_t on Sat, 11/21/2009 - 6:25pm.
This is so dated. We're also in a fucking recession. I think people are past the point of wanting to see "the fantasy" in media - feels more like they are ready to sack Versailles. Plus, her dance vocabulary is limited at best, rendering this blinged-out passèe exercise in futility a giant yawn fest.
____________________________________
Yes yes yes. Agree. Consumption on jlo level is sooooooo over, tired and PLAYED OUT. She has completely lost touch with trends.
There are people/families lining up for free food donations everywhere and jlo is wearing her expensive shoes in bed, acting like its 2000.
Go away jloca..
I have more cash then this bitch.
oh yeah Marvin, you're just jealous of all her cash. $$$$$
Break it off here ya break it off there....you wanna pinch a loaf here ya pinch a loaf there?