Friday, November 20th 2009

RiRi Is A Size Queen

If your dick doesn't make a vagina call 911 upon first sight, then RiRi isn't even trying to fuck with you. In a new interview with German magazine Bravo (via Post Chronicle), RiRi said that your peen must be a certain height in order to ride her ride.

RiRi explained, "He has to be good in bed and the size matters. You know what I mean? The inner beauty counts as well, but without a toy it doesn't make it fun. Right now I don't want to have a serious relationship, I want to have fun. I love flirting at the moment. I'm single and I'm enjoying my freedom. But I don´t give my phone number out that often. But if I'm dating, I check the boy from the top to the bottom."

RiRi's last boyfriend turned out to be a fat pussy, so it makes sense that she's on the prowl for a wang in size: TOMMY LEE.

In a perfect world, we'd all love a cock that can split a Magnum condom in two, but big whores can't be choosers. I try to pretend like I have standards (HA!), but throw a micro mini peen in front of me and I'll probably shrug while saying, "Sure, why not?"

Celine Dion once said this about shoes: "When a salesperson askes me what size I need, I answer 'No, what size do you have?'" The same goes for peen. Where there's a dick, there's a way.

Posted by: Michael K


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SkyBitch's picture

***Submitted by tapgirl on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 4:01pm.
mmmmm Tommmy Lee. No one drives the motor boat like Tommy. Just seeing that video ruined everyone else for me.
***

I see what you're saying, but personally, those certain pesky vaginal sores and lumpy green secretions would hardly be worth it.

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LuxLuv's picture

Maybe someone should introduce Ri-Ri to Jonah Falcon--I don't know about Tommy Lee's peen size, never saw the sex tape, but THIS guy claims to have a 13.5-incher (he was featured on Dlisted at one time).

Just sayin.

Chemistry IS a huge factor, however, for some of us.
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Pet Llama Jimothy's picture
Pet Llama Jimothy's picture

One more thing: This sounds like something Megan Fox would say. But at least she'd be - I don't know - IRONIC about it. If RiRi's serious...

But to keep a modicum of humor going on, how about:

Dicky Galore

Really? Are girls this shallow, concerning our penis size? Well, with "Twilight" and the Jonas Brothers being so damn popular, what would you expect? You guys have no idea how angry this made me. I'd call her a "B" word, but it's tiresome since there's no accomplishment.

Chris Brown better have a huge dick cuz that is one ugly motherf...shut your mouth.

Madam Pince's picture

Bitch needs to keep some things private.

I'm with the medium- to small-wang lovers. I don't need to feel like I'm being drilled for oil.

****************************************************

"Are we pilgrims all of a sudden? ”

we'd all like to think that we are broad-minded and not so shallow that we care only about size..but if you have ever faced a micro-peen, and that doesn't happen to be your fetish, it's just not that fun..no offense.

i hate big dicks so i seek out men with average to small one, must keep this pussy tight. and don't you dare tell me to do my keigels, or to use cap locks or spell check.

salacious's picture

Submitted by BlueOrchid on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 3:12pm.
When women claim size matters, it speaks VOLUMES about their anatomy.

Just sayin'.

Bitch ain't tight and has herpes.

No Words's picture

Submitted by BlueOrchid on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 3:12pm.
When women claim size matters, it speaks VOLUMES about their anatomy.

Just sayin'.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I totally agree...who wants people to think they have an enormous, stretched-out box?

salacious's picture

It matters as much as a tight, clean, smell free pussy does, which I doubt she has.

I wonder if size really matters to her when she finger bangs herself? Bullshit. You gotta get off however you can.

TTFN

ScarfnBarf's picture

Anyone who says size doesn't matter is -
a) a liar
b) just grateful

Of course size does matter, but it shouldn't be a big deal. RiRi sounds like a girl who looks for a big dick and a big fist. Didn't she get that already?

MK you're the best!! Haha. Good post!

BlueOrchid's picture

Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 4:16pm.
Size doesn't matter! Chemistry matters most.

Exactly. ;)

________________________

Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump." Disgusting! So don't tell us that Bucky Haight wasn't shot, 'cause we were there. We touched his stump."

Size doesn't matter! Chemistry matters most.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas is around the corner!

tapgirl's picture

mmmmm Tommmy Lee. No one drives the motor boat like Tommy. Just seeing that video ruined everyone else for me.

****************************************************
When the emergency technician is about to apply CPR, no one says..."wait, let's pray first".....

peaches80's picture

Submitted by Mother Superior on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 3:51pm.
Do not agree with MK.
Size matters. And I'm tiny, btw.
****************
mother superior i am behaving !!!!!
luvs mother superior
agree !!!!!!!!!
size is important
___________________________________________________
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
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Mother Superior's picture

Do not agree with MK.
Size matters. And I'm tiny, BlueOrchid ;)

jussayin's picture

and people thought she went back to Chris Brown for love. F Luv! Now I know that boy is packing like a mofo, if I hadn't guessed by how hard she was dyckrydin' him previously.

This made Beyonce sound classy talking about Jay and his big...ego.

Nah, I lie.

***********************************************
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HOTNEY's picture

her gusty cervix needs a big oll draft excluding, fat dick to plug up that wind tunnel that she calls a vaginal canal.

wah wah, i like big dicks cos i like to be stretched out like a bongo drum skin.

GOD IN HEAVEN, what is wrong with this fuckin SLUT?!

careful what you wish for bish. a big fattie so big you CHOKE!

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peaches80's picture

Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 3:21pm.

well they were filming at the gay porn set and two of the guys were gay and one was straight , let me tell you the straight one was about to go crazy , because one of the things he said he hated doing the most was Blow jobs , unfortunately for him he was the active in this particular film and really you could feel how bad he felt , he did the blow job and finished the film , but after when louis tried to interview him , he was so angry he really felt like running away , i felt for him ( until he said how much he made $$$$$$)
and yes about double standard , agree with you : (
you would think this guys are in heaven and is the best job in the universe , sadly it seems to be one of the worst .
___________________________________________________
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
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Provolone's picture

Submitted by peaches80 on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 2:49pm.
@ Granny Frump
both gay and straight !
he showed that sometimes even in gay porn the guys are not really gay IRL, they just do it , yes like you said it's a job

They had a gay pornstar on howard stern that claimed this. I think its bullshit. They are not straight. Mtv had one of those truelife episodes with pornstars and they had a guy that claimed it and all his fellow gay pornstars thought he was full of shit.

Is there a double standard? Yes. If a girl has sex with a woman, she is not a lesbian. If a guy fucks a guy, he is GHEY! Just the way the universe is.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

BlueOrchid's picture

When women claim size matters, it speaks VOLUMES about their anatomy.

Just sayin'.

________________________

Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump." Disgusting! So don't tell us that Bucky Haight wasn't shot, 'cause we were there. We touched his stump."

peaches80's picture

@Granny Frump

yes suicides and hiv scares , plenty of those !
mmmmmm there are so many kinds of porn out there , i saw that the main business is actually in fetish , scat , foot , bondage , etc !
they said if there was a market they would produce and yes well what i got at the end was that they felt like objects , no soul , no personality , no nothing , some of the guys could not get girlfriends ( yeahhhhhh for real) because they were looked down like hookers ( irony , much) , it was easier for the girls .
i agree a job is a job and you do what you have to do , but the porn business seems to be way too much , i mean is not the same to have a disagreement with a co worker or feel like you are lost one day , feeling bored , whatever ; what they have to go trough is not normal is not a normal kind of stress , it has to do with your body and your psyche , your value as a person , you need to be thick as hell to go there and come out sane .

___________________________________________________
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
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SickInTheHEad's picture

good girl

~*~Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me~*

peaches80's picture

Submitted by SickInTheHEad on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 2:52pm.
PEACHES HOW COME YOUR NOT YELLING!!!!!
************
has drinky , mother superior ordered to behave !
___________________________________________________
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/

Granny Frump's picture

Submitted by peaches80 on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 2:36pm.
"@ Granny Frump
both gay and straight !
he showed that sometimes even in gay porn the guys are not really gay IRL, they just do it , yes like you said it's a job."

Yeah, I remember a few years ago being shocked that a gay porn actor was arrested for beating his wife! I haven't watched straight porn since the '90s but I occasionally would see actors from straight porn working in gay porn. I think the pay might be better for the males in gay porn.

That's rough if they really don't enjoy it but many people don't enjoy their work. I hate that they feel shame, it's a living and a check is a check! As long as it's legal and not hurtful to others I don't look down on what a person does to keep the wolf from the door. Working in the porn industry can be psychologically damaging to some people, however. Offhand I can remember several suicides.

SickInTheHEad's picture

PEACHES HOW COME YOUR NOT YELLING!!!!!

~*~Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me~*

peaches80's picture

@ Granny Frump
both gay and straight !
he showed that sometimes even in gay porn the guys are not really gay IRL, they just do it , yes like you said it's a job ; they seemed ashamed after it was done (gay porn) , they really didn't felt like sharing their experience , but the boys that did straight porn where more open about what they taught while having sex in front of a lot of people,etc , in that same documentary they showed also that the main stars in the porn business are female , i don't know is such a complicated mini world and gay and straight when it came to filming was the same stuff , you can be a straight dude doing a gay porn flick soooooo yeah is a job.
some girls took their husbands to the set , so i guess you must have a stomach for that !
about the prostate yeah for the passive one is not an issue but sometimes they are straight so i guess that is the reason they don't even have an erection ; the active one gets a lot of pressure from the director and everybody , because he needs to have the hard on for ageeeeeeeees !
yeah about a** sex in girls i am totally with you !
___________________________________________________
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/

The Sunshine Gang's picture

I feel the same way :)

Katt's picture

*sigh* I miss my ex's dick...giFUCKINnormous! Too bad he proved to be such an asshole.
**********
"All of us are lying in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."-Oscar Wilde

DR.FUNK's picture

BTW-'Bout time for her to pull away from the teeny bopper diet & hire a personal trainer.Her thighs are pathetic.No excuse for that shit on a 20something.

yawn. we get it. Honestly this new edgy dark *GaNgStA* persona is so forced and awkward on her it's embarrassing tbh.

DR.FUNK's picture

What should you care more about as a man? The size of your package?...or whether or not it's getting work?

Stan Hooper's picture

RiRi can trash talk about cocks all she wants. Everyone knows she was dickmatized with Chris Brown's.

She took a licking and kept on ticking.

=========
"Let's unleash the defense lawyers." Nancy Grace.

Granny Frump's picture

Submitted by peaches80 on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 1:44pm.
"@ Granny Frump
i know is really sad , funny cuz i have never seen a full porno i have watched little parts and then i get bored , but when i saw that documentary i really felt for some of them , their daily life was so grim and grey , most of them the boys specially can not have a normal life and i mean ugh , just sad i remember this guy he interview and he was like yeah i really don't enjoy it but they respect me in this industry cuz i can have wood ( a hard on ) any time .
sad ."

Are you talking about straight or gay porn, Peaches80? It's all work so I could see not enjoying it, gay or straight. But I have noticed that in a lot of the gay porn the guy who's getting planked doesn't even have an erection. Since I'm not a gay guy I've never had the real life experience so I don't know if that's common or not. I sure hope not. The prostate is supposed to be the gift that keeps on giving for a gay dude. That's why as a woman I'd never bother to have anal sex. I know lots of women enjoy it, but to me anal sex is the secondary purpose of a man's ass. It's just made for a good reaming. It's as if nature intended it.

P.T.Bull's picture

Simple test--if the johnson can span her 10-head, its in!