Friday, November 20th 2009
JLo, Please Step Away From The Mic
This is JLo's new single. And it's called "Louboutins" (pronounced "Looweebatons" in JLo-talk). I understand if the song title alone makes you want to shut down this browser window, open up your iTunes and punch it really really hard. I understand. Because once you realize this song is not a Digital Short from Saturday Night Live, you really won't be laughing.
This shit may be called "Looweebatons," but it sounds more like a shit-stained Payless pump lying in the gutter all alone after a homeless crackhead hooker lost it there while she was running from the police.
via ONTD
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Good song if you like horrible songs.
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OUCH! WARNING: This Song Causes Ear Bleeding and
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Get the fucking ads out of the comments section!!!
First 12 seconds sounded like J.Low taking a really big dump. Poetic, actually, for the steady stream of wet goopy shit that followed afterwards.
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Bottom-feeder.
i can't believe this was meant to be released to the public. those are the shittiest synth sounds i have since 1988. it doesn't sound like it was mixed at all. this sounds like a demo for a real song.
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satan in a sunday hat, girl.
This is not even music!
I love the tag on this -- "Truly Awful Music" -- hahahahahaha!
I am gonna go blast this in my roommate's room, perfect hangover music.
ssssssstttttttttttooooooooooooooooooooooooooopp
please
those shoes are OVER
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Ugh. J-Lo, sit DOWN somewhere.
"Throwing on my Louboutins"? What's next -- JLo revives the term "bling bling?" Announces she's still engaged to Ben Affleck? I hope you had a nice nap, Rip Van Lopez -- it's 2009, we're in a recession and nobody wants to hear you bragging about your damn $1200 shoes.
what a load of autotuned shit.
my nanna writes better more current sounding tunes
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
when is the dream gonna come out of the closet??
who gonna check me boo?
Submitted by Kikkeli23 on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 9:35pm.
For me also, it sounds like she's singing about Louis Vuitton, which in fact would make much more sense, as LV is far more acknowledged brand than Christian Louboutin. Nevertheless, the song is complete and utter shit.
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With the mention of Louboutins, it made me think it was sort of a "These Boots Were Made For Walking" song -- since Louboutin is footwear in particular and one would guess the song's about "walking away" from a relationship.
Submitted by r5bales on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 6:38pm.
The thing is that Skeletor has talent. Why the hell doesn't she get him to write a few songs, or at least ask him what he thinks. That is the most annoying song I have ever heard.
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I'm a huge Marc Anthony fan but I think his strength is in interpreting a song and really conveying intense emotion. I actually don't think he writes his own stuff, or if he does, it's not his best stuff and it's more "in collaboration." My guess is he knows she can't bring to a song what he can bring to a song and so he just encourages her to make money. I'm thinking the same with Beyonce and Jay-Z.
PS. And Marc Anthony's stuff in English, while not as bad as this, is quite pathetic. So his advice might not be the *best* in their quest to place on Billboard's Hot 100.
sorry 33 sec was all i could handle before i had to stick ice picks in my ears now i'm deaf thanks jlo you stuip bitch!
For me also, it sounds like she's singing about Louis Vuitton, which in fact would make much more sense, as LV is far more acknowledged brand than Christian Louboutin. Nevertheless, the song is complete and utter shit.
Bitch either got a case of Fantasiatitis while reading the lyrics or couldn't decide who to pimp between Louboutin or LV.
As sad as it is for music, I have the feeling her come back is going to be HIGHLY "entertaining"...
The thing is that Skeletor has talent. Why the hell doesn't she get him to write a few songs, or at least ask him what he thinks. That is the most annoying song I have ever heard.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Almost sounds like 'taking back my lou vitons' ...as if she were still pimping Louis Vuitton.
The problem is, in the French pronunciation, the accent would be on the last syllable as such...
loo-boo-TEGHN, not LOO-boo-tonz
Sweet Baby Jesus, that was bad.
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"Watch the face, Asshole!" -BK
man you werent kidding. this shit SUCKS. baby smiley makeover time!
meep
And I thought that "Fresh out the oven" song was bad-there seems to be a new low for her songs. I heard "Ain't that funny" remix with Ja Rule on the radio this weekend-that was hawt! But you can't stay young and urban after you settle down and let People magazine take pix of you on your estate in LI, when you and your husband are dressed like extras from the Great Gatsby. That alone would get them shot in the Boogie Down Bronx. Perhaps this is the diva version of bored LI housewife; instead of taking up gourmet vegen cooking or knitting w/ free range wool, she spends a lot of money renting studio time and making crappy demos. She should hook-up w/ Kim from RHWA.
OMG! This song is the worst thing ever. Say hello to the end of the stupid brand Louboutin. Whoever heads their marketing/PR should be fired!
Submitted by Datura on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 12:32pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 9:32am.
I'm skeptical. That is the French pronunciation of it. I think maybe JLo is saying it right: loobootahns. I'm not trying to be a nationalist or anything, but I don't see why I need to pronounce it as if I'm french, even if it is a name.
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French pronunciation can vary widely by region. Where my parents grew up, the "in" in Louboutins would sound like the a in apple. Nowhere in the goddamn world should that name sound how JLo is mangling it.
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That's what I thought was right: Loobootahns, a perhaps more or less like apple. In my studied and often incorrect French, I would think more like "ehgn" if you know what I mean: lou-bou-tehgn. The French u's are always the hardest for me -- I was told to pucker my lips, almost as if blowing, but to say almost an "e" at the back of my throat. But she's saying Loo-boo-TONZ, loo-boo-TONZ, loo-boo-TONZ.
Excuse me while I tie my ears in a fucking knot!
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...you sneaky, conniving little abortion!
Mira, just when I thought music had reached its lowest point with Britney's "3", JLo comes around with this shit. Did she and Britney Spears ever hear of adding lines to a fucking chorus? How many fucking times do I have to hear "Throwing on my Louboutins" or "Womanizer womanizer womanizer". Bunch of no talent bitches, not even worth used toilet paper.
ewwwwwww and i taught jenny from the block was bad .
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Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
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Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 9:32am.
I'm skeptical. That is the French pronunciation of it. I think maybe JLo is saying it right: loobootahns. I'm not trying to be a nationalist or anything, but I don't see why I need to pronounce it as if I'm french, even if it is a name.
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French pronunciation can vary widely by region. Where my parents grew up, the "in" in Louboutins would sound like the a in apple. Nowhere in the goddamn world should that name sound how JLo is mangling it.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Also, I can't wait for Paris Hiltons new album. Because who else besides this cunt deserves to make more "music".
It's this shit that made me quit tv and radio.
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****************SO SAY WE ALL*********************
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This old bitch might as well just go on the ho stroll and be done with it. Where have all the real musicians gone? You know, people not willing to sell out.
What makes this shitty noise even worse than being a blatant commercial for the brand is that J.HO CAN'T SING!!! So she can't sing, can't write a decent song to save her life, can't play an instrument: of course she should be in the music business.
I'm full of rage, AAAAHHHH
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****************SO SAY WE ALL*********************
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Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 11:43am.
Nothing.....it's forum language for "I'm over it"
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LMAO UR SO KEWL WIF UR FORUM LANGUAGE!!!! ZOMGZ I WISH I WAS KEWL ENOUGH TO KNOW FORUM TALK!!!!!
This cunt needs slaps on the mouth - repeatedly.
Side B: An Ode to Payless Shoes
Submitted by freebird on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 9:52am.
If Louboutin is making fancy earplugs, I'm definitely putting mine on if I have to hear this shit song again.
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LOL!!
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the end...
Submitted by KD on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 11:30am.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 11:28am.
FUcking FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! -------------------->
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What eggsacktly are you pointing at???
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Nothing.....it's forum language for "I'm over it"
Diamond Dung, Marc Anthony is much bigger in Latin America than here in the states. He does more songs in Spanish than in English. He is very talented. THis bitch, his wife, is not. She needs to stop. How does big ass=singing career? I swear, this woman must be really talented at giving blow jobs.
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It sounds like she's singing to one of those synthesized demos you hear on cheap Casio keyboards. Yuck.
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"Christmas is around the corner." Shut up, shut up SHUT UP!!!
All I could think was how unfortunate it is that she bore homely children by a homely man. And how unfortunate it was that I stared at that ridiculously dull image of a lovely woman for over one minute without any animation whatsoever. Ugly is as ugly does, clearly.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 11:28am.
FUcking FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! -------------------->
__________________________
What eggsacktly are you pointing at???
FUcking FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! -------------------->
I'm confused. It sounds like she is singing "taping back my love". I thought Lady Gaga was the one with the tuck game going on.
holy shit that is bad, Britney is the queen compared to this Bronx pig.
Sounds like she's singing 'lube-it-ons.'
*seizes*
*brain melts out ears*
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