Wednesday, November 18th 2009

RiRi's Got A New Piece

RiRi has found a new piece that will kiss every inch of her infinityhead (which Scientists have proven takes around 8.3 hours total) while cuddling on a cold winter's night. According to Gatecrasher, that piece is actor Tristan Wilds. Tristan Wilds does sound like the name of an Eastern European power bottom porn star, but he's actually a cast member on the new 90210.

The two, who have been secretly dating for a quick minute, acted all couple-like at a party she threw last weekend. A source said, "She likes him a lot, and it shows. From the moment he walked into her party, Rihanna lit up. They'll keep in touch while she's away."

While I understand that RiRi needs a bitch to fiddle with her alien labia now and again, she really needs to stay away from all BOW TIES. If a man is wearing a bow tie without a tuxedo, he's either a dick taster, an old timey piano player/child toucher or a lady beater.

Besides, it's hard to take a dude seriously when he keeps the "Prada" sticker on his eyeglasses.

Posted by: Michael K


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Pet Llama Jimothy's picture

Looks like Chris. NEXT.

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yucko's picture

He looks like Chris Brown 2.0, tweaked to look sweeter and less ugly.

"Michael K. I love you, but don't talk smack about this particular boy. Tristan Wilds is Michael Lee from The Wire, the best show ever. And he was one of the best characters of his time. I watch 90210 solely because he's on it."

Hey, I watched "The Wire" too. I had NO idea he was on that.

You know, I get concerned when Michael K (the editor, I found out) starts taking shots at people who probably don't deserve it. If it's Miley Cyrus, then I'm on the bandwagon in 0.1 seconds.

I think they chose Taylor Swift one day because Wynonna Judd is a popular target, as well as Adriana Lima because her squeeze is a "douchebag".

I'll get behind Mike if he wants to vent about Rhianna. I don't know what the deal is with her attack with Chris Brown, but her music is up there with the other overproduced no-talents and, judged by seeing bits of her new music video for "Russian Roulette", further pushes the message that no one is buying into the music for talent. It's image, 100 friggin' precent.

Tristan Wilds? That guy's a pretty good actor on "90210". Not up there with Jessica Lowndes, who honestly needs to get in bed with Marvel Studios, but I could see this guy playing Patriot if they do a "Young Avengers" movie.

LA's picture

This girl has spectacularly bad taste in men.

david Letterman- Staff fucker's picture

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MrPossumsMama's picture

He's probably not an abuser so she'll get bored and dump him.

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MizRo's picture

I saw another pic of him today in the paper: he looks much better and is slightly reminiscent of Brown.

ThunderDame's picture

Aw. come on, nobody looks good in their prom picture. Cut the guy some slack.

He's just goofy looking. I don't find Chris Brown particularly attractive, but this is still a step down in the looks department. Minus the bow tie, the hat, maybe the glasses...nah, still goofy looking. Hopefully he's nicer to her.

I really wish she would get over the blond phase she's in.

snowpiece's picture

gargoylepantsy I love The Wire, one of the best shows ever but I stopped watching after they killed Stringer, I need to catch up because I agree, it's THE SHIT!

****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown

Whatever's picture

He looks like a dork.

gargoylepantsy on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 2:47pm.

I have been reading this website on a daily basis for 3 years and only today did I finally make an account so I could bring this to your attention.

gargoylepantsy, ME TOO. I love this site, but nothing ever required a comment from me before this. The Wire just does that to you, doesn't it?

xerquina's picture

from what've seen this kid is a great actor.

Dude, that kid totally is Michael from The Wire. He is what every hood rat is trying to be! Michael K, I turn your attention to Seasons 4 or 5 of The Wire so you can see what a posting gold mine this story is going to be. He wears the bow tie because it's ALL IN THE GAME.

I have been reading this website on a daily basis for 3 years and only today did I finally make an account so I could bring this to your attention.

KG's picture

Whomever said this kid looks like Cris Brown, I concur. And HA! MK on the Prada sticker.

attention.whore's picture

WTF????? I seriously thought that was Chris Brown in this pic when I first looked at the post. Ri-Ri is a first-rate psycho masichist

---------------------------

"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever"

attention.whore's picture

WTF????? I seriously thought that was Chris Brown in this pic when I first looked at the post. Ri-Ri is a first-rate psycho masichist

---------------------------

"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever"

attention.whore's picture

WTF????? I seriously thought that was Chris Brown in this pic when I first looked at the post. Ri-Ri is a first-rate psycho masichist

---------------------------

"Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever"

yepyepyep's picture

suckandfuck on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 11:08am.

Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 11:05am.

Do you think that's what started the fight?
------------------------------------------------

Caribbean girls don't suck dick (to my knowledge). If that's not a reason to punch a chick, then I don't know what it is.

beign from the caribean I can confirm that we do suck poor or rich Caribbeans girls do what it takes

“So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” Megan Fox

yepyepyep's picture

damn thats soo cool he speaks Spanish and its Dominican hope he keeps clean I need him to represent
“So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” Megan Fox

yepyepyep's picture

he is African, Dominican and Irish thats a cool combination
“So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” Megan Fox

Michael K. I love you, but don't talk smack about this particular boy. Tristan Wilds is Michael Lee from The Wire, the best show ever. And he was one of the best characters of his time. I watch 90210 solely because he's on it. I'm so sorry alien princess Ri-Ri has decided to get her kooky paws on him, but I have faith he'll survive.

nono's picture

She clearly has a "type" and one I never would have guessed just from looking at her.

d-nice's picture

she could totally take him in a fight.

seriously though, YUK. he doesn't have an ounce of sex appeal at all.

is this one of those manufactured hook ups where agents & publicists get together and try to match up based on forming public opinion?

i picture her with someone more street, more edgy, and hotter.

music lover's picture

she does like them prepubescent types.

vidz's picture

IM BEING NICE

RiRi's makeup is IMPECCABLE in this pic and Tristan is such a cutie.

ALso. I'm kinda surprised RiRi hasn't gone for a nosejob yet, she looks human and pretty great nonetheless.

************************************************************

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."

Highly Critical's picture

Why don't you wastes of life wait for the open post with your idiotic and incredibly stupid banter? Morons.

"Mother, tell your children not to look my way."
Danzig

vidz's picture

@Pleccy Indian (Brown, not red) THat damn Christopher has no idea the trouble he caused us.

@ Snowpiece, glad you enjoyed it. RUssell Peters is one funny muthafucker!

************************************************************

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."

Granny Frump's picture

They've both got very beautiful skin. If I experienced the kind of beatdown she got, I'd go with a different type the next time too.

He's actually a good looking kid but the steez is ALL kinds of wrong.

Flatbush Hooker IS BACK's picture

nothing wrong with his skin
that's a typical shade for an island boy
They got the most gorgeous black meat on islands
mmmmm.....tall and gorge

<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>
I doubt anyone would want to motorboat in Kim Kardashians bush garden
but no doubt some would want to swim in Paris Hilton's crab buffet

angel_i's picture

What is this post about again?
Not being policey -just sayin' LOL

♥ Threadkilla!
Lindsay. It's Over.

fuzzyslippers's picture

I seriously crack the fuck up every time MK uses the phrase "old/ole timey".

KD's picture

Did he get attacked by Sevin Nyne? His skin is a strange unnatural looking shade!

Mother Superior's picture

Submitted by peaches80 on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 12:15pm.

Look for me when in London the next time.
:D

peaches80's picture

Submitted by Mother Superior on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 12:10pm.
Submitted by peaches80 on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 12:08pm.

@mother superior
i am in , i will need a strap on but i can provide that already !!!
yey , my first porn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________

Cool. Actually, we needed the female for the scene, but you can leave the strap-on on, if you like :D
Kinkaaay!!!
******************************
tehee score !!!!!!!!!!!
yey!
so happy and kinky : D
___________________________________________________
les anges existent mais des fois ils n'ont pas d'ailes...
nous les appelons alors amis.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/

snowpiece's picture

SUPERNANNY needs to be HSoTD

****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown

Plecostomus's picture

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 12:09pm.
Hekki I always wonder about those Nannies, they look like they ignore the kids and just chat with their friends,
----------------------

No one shakes things up like a British nanny, 'member?

Also - are we using the NannyCam for the porn vid, or one of them HD cams?

===============================

Bottom-feeder.

TheBreakdown's picture

I take offense to MK callıng Trıstan an eastern European power bottom star.

I'm ın western Europe MK and I wıll see your ass ın the parkıng lot.

Watch your back, slut!

***************************************

http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:

xadesmultimedia@gmail.com

" If a man is wearing a bow tie without a tuxedo, he's either a dick taster, an old timey piano player/child toucher or a lady beater."

Now now, MK. He may just be an incurable dork.

Flatbush Hooker IS BACK's picture

Hes adorable 16 year old
With that said ...I think Ri Ri needs to pay a visit to Roman Polanski

<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>
I doubt anyone would want to motorboat in Kim Kardashians bush garden
but no doubt some would want to swim in Paris Hilton's crab buffet

Mother Superior's picture

Submitted by peaches80 on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 12:08pm.

@mother superior
i am in , i will need a strap on but i can provide that already !!!
yey , my first porn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________

Cool. Actually, we needed the female for the scene, but you can leave the strap-on on, if you like :D
Kinkaaay!!!

snowpiece's picture

Hekki I always wonder about those Nannies, they look like they ignore the kids and just chat with their friends, if I left my kid with a nanny all day you would be damn sure I have someone spy on them for me. do a lot of Mom's do that? spy i mean? i mena you have these women wheeling your precious spawn all over NYC....

****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown

peaches80's picture

@mother superior
i am in , i will need a strap on but i can provide that already !!!
yey , my first porn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________
les anges existent mais des fois ils n'ont pas d'ailes...
nous les appelons alors amis.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peaches2709/