Monday, November 16th 2009

Tank Jones Is Going To Pay For This!

Tank Jones (the motherfucker in the fancy pink tie in the picture above) lied to us all! Tank promised that Levi Johnston would give us a clear shot of the goods in his upcoming Playgirl spread, but this is not the case. There will no full frontal nekkidness. Call your local congressperson over this fuckery! This is an injustice.

Playgirl's Daniel Nardicio released this statement to Gawker: "He did not give 'full-frontal' as his manager Tank Jones reported he would. We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them. Although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."

Basically, it sounds like we're just going to get Levi's peen head peeking out from a hockey stick? WHAT IS THE POINT?! How are people supposed to fap to that?

Tank Jones should hang his head in shame for the rest of his days. You can't promise us a salchicha barbecue, and then show up with half a Vienna sausage. You can lie about a lot of things, but you should never lie about DICK. Dick is serious business. Levi Johnston's peen and me are fucking done professionally!

Even if Levi had a crooked pencil peen with a misshapen head, they could've injected it with a little Crisco to fatten it up a bit. There's no excuse.

Posted by: Michael K


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Somebody at the shoot saw the peen and will talk...eventually, meanwhile all you bottoms will just have to wait while the tops salivate over his hockey buns.

Mrs Patrick Campbell's picture

Apparently 'tinymeat' is the real reason for not showing the goods.

This is logical since fish don't care about size, tinymeat is ok with them.

Mrs Patrick Campbell's picture

Many sisters - desperate to view a naked realman(that is, a str8 guy who fucks fish and makes them have babies) will eagerly buy these photos.

But WE won't!

Norwaygirl's picture

I like Sarah Palin, and I think Levi is not that bad looking. Had I been an American, my vote would have gone to McCain.
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snowball's picture

I agree totally. When half of a thread with 50 replies are that shit, it's time to bring out the napalm.

_______
I'd be happy enough if he could just control this spam outbreak. It's worse than H1N1.

_______

Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. (MK)

Plecostomus's picture

Submitted by snowball on Tue, 11/17/2009 - 8:54am.
-----------------------

I'd be happy enough if he could just control this spam outbreak. It's worse than H1N1.

====================================

Bottom-feeder.

snowball's picture

So I've got a headache from that shit Beyonce/Caca video, I'm sad because Charo can't coochi coochie coo and now I have to deal with the fact that I won't see this mouthbreather's peen?

I'm going back to bed. MK, can you at least put up a Brangeloonie post so I can have something to laugh at? Or at least something with Sparkles and KPew?

______

Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. (MK)

WTF IS THE POINT?

KD's picture

Somebody really needs to pick this it up at 711 and call the police to report the missing peen shot.

jackfreeman046's picture

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space monkey mafia's picture

I enjoy that this was posted under the tag "Small Ones." I still wanted to see his moose jerky, though. :(

david Letterman- Staff fucker's picture

WTF is with these asshole spammers!

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ZiggyStardust's picture

I thought PlayGirl had been shut down?

Porn is such a strange thing. Most of the participants look a little on the 'Mommy drank through the pregnancy' side, and yet they're being paid to give men erections.

=========================================

@ZiggyStardust:

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i

freshfacestripper's picture

He look like he got a small dick! I'm telling you, all these men in Hollywood wouldn't mean shit if the world really saw the dick size. I want to see Brad's dick,George's dick,Justin's dick, I wanna see all the dick! Notice how everyone seen Angie's tittie's?! COZ-bitches have to always show their goods for the WOW factor. Once we all get to see the real dick's in Hollywood we wouldn't pay to see any of their movies again. This is why WHITEY's hate the BLACK MAN! Because,they have the big dick! RACIST ASS PORN MAG!

I'm guessing he's a microsoft guy....no apple
protecting a serpent ;p

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

ploppsicle's picture

I love you MK. Who was going to fap to that anyway?! You can do better than that!!

RichBitch's picture

So this is all pointless really then!

H1N1's picture

Where there is news, there is ===Sugarloves+com==='S shadow drifting away!!!

...on the other hand, Levi would look good as a porn star.

***
CARRIE PREJEAN IS NUDE (SCREENSHOT FROM THE SEX TAPE) http://bit.ly/2znoVF

Manimal5's picture

Submitted by pomegranate on Tue, 11/17/2009 - 12:17am.
"He's "Ricky Hollywood" now? Well that's a new one.
I guess that's because Dirk Diggler was already used.
He's only getting work right now to counter Palins book which is being advertised for less than 5 dollars on TV.

kiwikim's picture

Just give it up dude.
If for nothing else, do it to piss off Sarah Palin or give her uptight ass something to get off on.

Does Levi Johnston have a micropenis?

***
Beyonce Squirts on Her Bags lol

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KidL's picture

Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 11/17/2009 - 12:16am.
_______________________________________________

I agree.

I hope Levi is stashing away any and all money he is making off of his 15 mins. Lord knows, he's gonna need it. . .

pomegranate's picture

"He's "Ricky Hollywood" now? Well that's a new one. If you thought the Sarah-Levi show was winding down any time soon, we're told the Oprah interview will dispel any such doubts:"

"I don't think a national television show is the place to discuss some of things he'd been doing and saying... By the way, I don't know if we call him Levi -- I hear he goes by the name Ricky He's "Ricky Hollywood now, so, if that's the case, we don't want to mess up this gig he's got going.... Kind of this aspiring, aspiring porn -- the things that he's doing. It's kind of heartbreaking."

Them's fighting words. C'mon, Levi: fight back. Tell us what you know. All of it.

By the way, it's pointless to resist. I'll be live-blogging Oprah at 4 pm. Come back then.

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This is from Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish! Very interesting, seems Palin was obsessed with that he wrote of her.

xerquina's picture

@KidL no problem. politics ruin everything.

peaches80's picture

is he really good looking ?
can't make up mah mind !!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________
“They admired my beauty and intelligence, I was only a woman with the heart of a man. A warrior.” María Félix

Manimal5's picture

According to Palin Levi still has an open invite for Thanksgiving...the moose are getting nervous.

KidL's picture

Submitted by xerquina on Tue, 11/17/2009 - 12:01am.

what's with the politico talk?!
_______________________________________________

I truly am sorry for that. I am done with that talk. Sushi can talk about Edwards with himself. Edwards's political career is as dead as Levi's brain . .

Also, I don't find him sexy at all. He looks kinda slow.

KidL's picture

Sarah Palin ought to be happy to have Levi in the spotlight. All this talk about his peen keeps the pundits from pointing out the fact she's as dumb a rock.

xerquina's picture

either i'm really drunk or he's looking sexy in that pic.

what's with the politico talk?!

KidL's picture

Submitted by sushi on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 10:57pm.
Edwards wasn't "nearly elected". He didn't even get the nomination and was third in most of state primaries.

Also, he has (wisely) chosen to be out of the public spotlight for now whereas Palin is everywhere.

For someone who claims they are not a Palin apologist, you sure come across as one given your interesting interpretation of the facts esp the bit about Edwards being "nearly elected".

reply • report abuse

**********

Oh excuse me. When I say "nearly elected" I mean he was one of the front runners for the Presidential bid WHEN these rumors surfaced. The media squashed it. DID NOT look into it.

And he's stayed out of the spotlight? Please. His wife wrote an entire book out of "it" (or the baby). He still aims for speaking engagements. He had his sheepish bullshit apologist interview.

This guy did the worst fucking thing imagineable to his wife. You are defending the indefensible.
_________________________________________________

I am not apologising for him. I never said I excused his behavior. FWIW, I actually met him BEFORE he ever ran for Senator. I didn't care for him then. Still, your claims are not true.

FACT: He was actually BEHIND Hillary and Obama when the rumors surfaced.

FACT: I read Elizabeth Edwards's book and his affair was not the "entire subject" of the book. It wasn't even a chapter. In fact, it was less than 3 pages IIRC and she never even mentioned Hunter by name. She actually had the book deal before the affair was known.

FACT: When is the last time he had a paid speaking engagement?

FACT: The talk in Chapel Hill is, Edwards knows he probably couldn't even run for dog catcher now. His career is toast and even he knows that.

Your welcome to your opinions about Palin, but the facts are what they are.

pomegranate's picture

Gosh...the spam advertising...it's getting, like, really LONG (longer than Levi's peen, I'd bet)! They're stressing me out, with that, Christmas is around the corner, SHIT! NO IT'S NOT!

I'm complaining! Humph...

KidL's picture

Submitted by sushi on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 11:04pm.
tted by sushi on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 9:08pm.
I'm no Palin apologist. But the fact is, there is no fucking way this kid would remain on the scene if it weren't for the rabid hatred of Palin
________________________________________________

Actually, sushi, Sarah Palin made this kid into a public figure by announcing he was her knocked-up daughter's "fiancee" and trotting both of them before the world's media at the GOP convention.

Also, did you watch the news today? Oprah, CNN and all the other "elite" media figures were fawning over Palin like she was the greatest thing since sliced bread in the lead up to the release of her new book. If that's "hatred" then I want some of that esp. all the money this twit has made.

*********

Well of course she did. Do you think that a democratic nominee with a knocked up 17 year-old would've done differently
_________________________________________________

I actually doubt that a Democrat would even be a nominee had s/he had a knocked up 17 year old. . .

WHY? WHY? Sexy Sarah said that he was doing "porn!" Now he's not showing the full Monty. Why? This is a bummer.

stolidog's picture

Palin deserves hatred. Her slash and burn approach to attaining success, exactly like george bush, have driven this county to the brink of absolute hatred to those that don't believe in their message.

She should be shot as a traitor for fanning the flames that will bring about the ruin of our nation.

So so so disappointed LOL

yucko's picture

Leonid meteor shower tonight!

Also I want to see his peen, I guess, but not because I think his body will be totally hot (although he doesn't look bad in this picture--if he gets leaner looking over time he might be more attractive). Really, I'm thinking it would be pretty disappointing. I just generally have an insidious curiosity.

BRADIFUL BITCH's picture

It isn't just the ultra left wingers, it travels all the way up to about, *slides arrow*, about 58% of the way all the way to the right winger nuts as well. More GOP'ers are NOT happy with her either. Just ask that chick in NY district 23 who was slapped with a "She's not conservative enough" diagnosis from Palin. The district is now democrat for the first time in like 150 years or something...

Palin bottomed out her "Political" prowess and power when she QUIT HER DAY JOB for Fame.

All of this is just residual and deserved.

/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.

tted by sushi on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 9:08pm.
I'm no Palin apologist. But the fact is, there is no fucking way this kid would remain on the scene if it weren't for the rabid hatred of Palin
________________________________________________

Actually, sushi, Sarah Palin made this kid into a public figure by announcing he was her knocked-up daughter's "fiancee" and trotting both of them before the world's media at the GOP convention.

Also, did you watch the news today? Oprah, CNN and all the other "elite" media figures were fawning over Palin like she was the greatest thing since sliced bread in the lead up to the release of her new book. If that's "hatred" then I want some of that esp. all the money this twit has made.

*********

Well of course she did. Do you think that a democratic nominee with a knocked up 17 year-old would've done differently? Even the most pro-abortion liberal would've been trodding out Levi as marriage material for political expediency.

Do you really think that Levi would've held media interest were it not for the jollies that people from the fact he's sticking it to Sarah Palin?

I find it embarrasing for liberals that they hold up this guy to stick it to her. And I feel equally embarrassed by the right holding up Carrie Prejean/Paula Jones, et. al. I am strictly down the middle.

And I seriously don't think that the media, including Oprah, is fawning over Sarah Palin. I thought Oprah was mostly derisive towards her. I think the media isn't fawning. They are chomping at the bit to remind everyone what a dolt she is.

Edwards wasn't "nearly elected". He didn't even get the nomination and was third in most of state primaries.

Also, he has (wisely) chosen to be out of the public spotlight for now whereas Palin is everywhere.

For someone who claims they are not a Palin apologist, you sure come across as one given your interesting interpretation of the facts esp the bit about Edwards being "nearly elected".

reply • report abuse

**********

Oh excuse me. When I say "nearly elected" I mean he was one of the front runners for the Presidential bid WHEN these rumors surfaced. The media squashed it. DID NOT look into it.

And he's stayed out of the spotlight? Please. His wife wrote an entire book out of "it" (or the baby). He still aims for speaking engagements. He had his sheepish bullshit apologist interview.

This guy did the worst fucking thing imagineable to his wife. You are defending the indefensible.

My point was the media went out of their way to ignore the rumors on this guy when they knew full well what was going on and yet they reported extensively on the unfounded rumor that Trigg was Palin's son.

I just find the ultra left wing's hatred of Palin so they prop up a dead beat dad rather fascinating.

barelybeagle's picture

I actually let out an exasperated "AUGH! Are you kidding me?!" when I read this on Gawker earlier. I kind of hate myself right now.

KidL's picture

Submitted by sushi on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 9:52pm.
It's interesting the rage that Sarah Palin brings. Why? Because she's anti-abortion and doesn't believe in gay marriage? But a guy whose wife has terminal cancer, fucks some whore, pays her campaign cash to produce a documentary that could've been done by a chimp, nearly gets elected because the media ignores rumors?
__________________________________________________________

Edwards wasn't "nearly elected". He didn't even get the nomination and was third in most of state primaries.

Also, he has (wisely) chosen to be out of the public spotlight for now whereas Palin is everywhere.

For someone who claims they are not a Palin apologist, you sure come across as one given your interesting interpretation of the facts esp the bit about Edwards being "nearly elected".

KidL's picture

tted by sushi on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 9:08pm.
I'm no Palin apologist. But the fact is, there is no fucking way this kid would remain on the scene if it weren't for the rabid hatred of Palin
________________________________________________

Actually, sushi, Sarah Palin made this kid into a public figure by announcing he was her knocked-up daughter's "fiancee" and trotting both of them before the world's media at the GOP convention.

Also, did you watch the news today? Oprah, CNN and all the other "elite" media figures were fawning over Palin like she was the greatest thing since sliced bread in the lead up to the release of her new book. If that's "hatred" then I want some of that esp. all the money this twit has made.