Monday, November 16th 2009

Afternoon Crumbs

The loneliest woman in the world is looking totally miserable in Mexico. Once again, Maddox made me write that. - Egotastic!

Just like her daddy, Suri Cruise is not taking off her kitten heels anytime soon - Popsugar

Carrie Prejean WHO? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Hayden Panatroll or a middle-aged divorcee who is trying to sex up her look with bangs? - Hollywood Tuna

Why is David Beckham's old hair hanging off of Posh's bag? - Just Jared

According to John Mayer, you really haven't danced unless you've busted a move around a bunch of sweaty shirtless dudes with peen-hongray eyes. I agree. - Towleroad

Prank you very much - Cityrag

The only interesting thing about Reese Witherspoon - Hollywood Rag

Rosie O'Donnell and her wife Kelli stopped scissoring years ago - Celebitchy

Chloe Sevigny demonstrates how you ho up an outfit in one easy step - ICYDK

Is this an invitation, Kanye? - Holy Moly!

But will Daniel Craig give you the ring off his cock? - Socialite Life

Sarah Jessica Parker's return to television! - SOW

The exact moment that Jenna Elfman's son realized his name is Story - I'm Not Obsessed

Posted by: Michael K


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tu

I hope my body looks that good when I'm Jennifer Aniston's age. Oh wait, I AM her age.

*looks down*

Shit.

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that nasty ass fucking porn of the miss uni pageant. PUKE!

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5

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Reese Witherspoon is so overrated as an actress. And that fucking chin rivals Jay Leno's.

delirio's picture

Reese Witherspoon told the same story on Ellen's show ages ago. She needs new material for talk shows.
Jennifer Aniston could ask Madonna if Jesus has a single brother.

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Manimal5's picture

Submitted by Dallas on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 5:41pm.
Aniston does not look miserable to me! Miserable looks like Pitt and Jolie staring at photo's in the museum...........they are miserable!

Miserable because they are posers!! Oops did I just say that?

paris herpes's picture

Jenna named her kid Story?! I can't wait to see what stupid name she gives the next kid. She does look great despite her weight gain. I always found her to be too thin. Anyway, Suri is wearing those shoes when it's how cold?! Are they in New York? I notice Katie is wearing boots. They are really asking for her to get sick...Suri is adorable and crazy! LOL!

"When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It's like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August."

paris herpes's picture

What an intriguing thing to learn about Reese...seems like she has OCD about garbage and cleanliness. It's no surprise really, she even looks like a control freak.

"When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It's like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August." -MK

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Deputy Trudy Wiegel's picture

Haha, Hayden looks like Kim Cattrall.

Reese is stupid. Does she even recycle?

Chloe always looks like that, but I still love her. Can't wait for season 4 of Big Love.

Jenna Elfman is a fucking loon, but she looks amazing in those pictures.

***
You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn't have to go around shooting people.
***

Dallas's picture

Aniston does not look miserable to me! Miserable looks like Pitt and Jolie staring at photo's in the museum...........they are miserable!

Whatever's picture

Maniston and Rosie should hook-up.

jonnobaas_sea's picture

Does her alien droid mother unit ever dress Suri for the weather? It's effing pouring rain! Would somebody please call CPS?

"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."

jonnobaas_sea's picture

Rosie O'Douche is delusional & lonely. She'll be a clinging mother when the kids move out, if she ever lets them.

"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."

My current fantasy is that all Black men of my generation take it upon themselves to pull the pants and boxers down of every youngin we see out in public. We get standing ovations and get invited to the White House as heroes.

Sigh.

Jen looks fab. RumerMills is saying she's going after Brad again?
http://www.rumermills.com/2009/11/16/jennifer-aniston-bikini/

Genny18's picture

"The loneliest woman in the world is looking totally miserable in Mexico. Once again"

omg ily! lhahah

madam s.'s picture

The least of Story Elfman's worries is his name. The poor unfortunate child ended up a Scientologist by no fault of his own.

Chloe Sevigny always looks like a foolio.

____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!

madam s.'s picture

Suri and those damn stripper shoes. Weirdest people ever.

____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!

chica robotica's picture

Submitted by mharker on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 3:51pm.

I do get the sense that she's not that different from her Tracy Flick character in Election, though.
---------------

Exactly. I also think she's a little OCD.

SilentWitness's picture

Back from Wonderwall. oh shit.
LLohan is going to design for bebe. omg.

Paris H. is jealous of the Kardashians and is going to try to get back in the headlines.

This kind of shit makes me want to scream.

mharker's picture

I don't mind Reese Witherspoon. So what if she's boring? She's not a slut or a party girl (that I know of, anyway) and she's not constantly making ridiculous statements to the press. I guess that's boring for a gossip blogger, but in general, it's nice to have one less media whore.

I do get the sense that she's not that different from her Tracy Flick character in Election, though.

NonnyMouse's picture

I don't mind the name Story. He can always tell people he was named after the most kickass astronaut ever, Story Musgrave.

Disraeli_Ears's picture

Ok, Jennifer Aniston has a great body...but seriously, she seems about as interesting as a bucket of hair. Brad and Jen seemed to be matched on that level, at least...lol. At least Jolie is INTERESTING, for better or worse.

ETA: I don't give a crap about any of them...the less I hear about those 3, the better.

=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?

DonkeyPunched's picture

Was John Mayer ever talented?

suckandfuck's picture

Daniel Craig is the one to fuck. About a million times.

************************************************
Submitted by over here on Thu, 11/05/2009 - 4:22pm.
Sickest. fuck. ever.

Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 1:59pm.
suckandfuck you are by far the most vile person here

mia_wallace's picture
labellavienna's picture

Yay for asian sex tapes lol

myspace.com/vienna_rossi

I never could understand the Rosie/Kelli relationship unless it was for money. Rosie is a fat pig nutcase who is so obnoxious she makes me puke.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Jenna Elfman - most annoying bitch ever.
_____________________________________________
MOTHERFUCKER WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? KEEP IT COMING. 10/27/09, the great philosopher, Dr. suckandfuck

SilentWitness's picture

Witherspoon is one weird person: another woman I don't "get" nor find interesting.

Provolone's picture

Nice perky tits, JenHen!

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"A man with crushed or cut-off testicles shall not enter into the assembly of the Lord"-Deuteronomy 23:1

SilentWitness's picture

Daniel Craig looks like he hasn't slept in eons - look at his eyes.

xerquina's picture

Chloe is one of the most unattractive womanfolk ever!
Aniston looking just fine,miserably fine!

SilentWitness's picture

Roaaaaarrrrr! Good one Stoney. *hiccup*

SilentWitness's picture

@2Di4 - I don't get her appeal either, her face IS pointy and the brows just make it worse. Ack.

@Jackson4 - Aniston may have a fantastic body, but there is more to a woman than that. No, I don't like Jolie either, just putting it out there that a well-rounded person is better than a body.

Stoney's picture

OMG she is so beautiful! Truly an amazing gift to mankind! Can't breathe! May the light of God shine upon her and bless her with the gifts of heaven! God Bless Jennifer Aniston!
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

2Di4's picture

Submitted by SilentWitness on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 3:02pm.

Jenna Elfman
is a scientologist: hate her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i could not agree more.
also, her pointy fergie eyebrows make me angry. i want to smack her in the face with a wax-lubed piece of muslin and rip off those brow tips. i can't even hear anything she says because those annoying fucking brows get in the way of my ability to concentrate.

SilentWitness's picture

Panatroll looks odd and whatever she ate, it was orange.

TheJackson4's picture

Jennifer Anitson still has a fantastic body, WTF was Pitt thinking whe he left? Now he's dating a tattoed skeleton, Mother Teresa wanna-be.

That photog is the luckiest dude on the planet. Good amateur vids.

Hayden looks 40.

Rosie is a monster to live with? In other news grass is green.

Centaurious's picture

I guess Kelli's Dancing With Herself now.

____________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

SilentWitness's picture

Wow, they combed Suri's hair.

2Di4's picture

i never realized jenny had such little "handful" boobies. ah well. i love her anyway -- dearly, not queerly.

p.s. that hat should be burned.