Monday, November 16th 2009

SNAAAAAAAAAKES!

St. Angie and Billy Goat Brad are joo-ree designers now. The two are putting out a collection of snake joo-ree through Asprey called "The Protector." WWD reports that they have been working on this shit for a year and it will be available at Asprey stores this week. Prices start at $525 and all proceeds will go to Education Partnership for Children of Conflict.

The snake design is based on St. Angie's slithery clitoris which has been known to strike at the ballsacks of mere mortal men. That is the official description from Asprey.

The collection features black diamond rings, diamond bracelets, an egg cup, a baby spoon and a tooth box. If you prefer cocaine instead of babies, the spoon, cup and box will also be of use to you. And don't worry, the diamonds are conflict-free, because they were made using the tears of angels and God's saliva.

Oh, and Lucius Malfoy has a question. He wants to know if they plan on making a cock-ring version in the near future?

Posted by: Michael K


Those two are so BORRIINNG and their jewelry sucks

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Dannii's picture

Angelina does give her own money to charity but shes also not stupid-she knows shes a big name even now when shes not really making any films and that people buy into her name so no wonder shes gonna do stuff like this. (dunno bout brad-from what i hear hes quite the opposite spending a lot of dough on artwork and the like) personally agree that the snake thing is overdone. not saying Angie is a perfect saint like the media paint but i believe give credit where credit is due she does do a lot for certain causes.

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Italics's picture

Submitted by Reese2029 on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 10:45pm.

Heaven forbid that Brangelina use their own money for charity

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Reese2029. I don’t care for St. Angie and Billy Goat Brad either. However, they made a large donation in exchange for publicity again.

Jolie-Pitt Foundation Helps those Affected by Iraq War
EPCC announces a $1 million contribution from the Jolie-Pitt Foundation to support the education of young people who have been impacted by the conflict in Iraq at home and abroad. - From The Education Partnership for Children of Conflict Headquarters

Italics's picture

St. Angie and Billy Goat Brad's pretentious do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do attitude has been mildly annoying. But after seeing Maddox Jolie-Pitt’s dead soldier costume, I was thoroughly disgusted. If anyone wants to support the Education Partnership for Children of Conflict, consider a direct donation instead.

http://www.educationpartnership.org/

Heaven forbid that Brangelina use their own money for charity. Or do some actual charitable work. Instead, they think that their dwindling number of fans will spend beaucoup bucks for this stupid vanity project.

Besides, the collection is fugly. The snake motif has been done to death. Just makes Jolie look like a poser.

Nothing that Brangelina does is edgy or original--their photography, jewelry, or architecture. Idiots.

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angel_i's picture

I'm still trying to get over the fact that they dressed their son as a dead soldier on Hallowe'en. I can't even look at these til I get over that.

♥ Threadkilla!
Lindsay. It's Over.

egg cup? why would someone buy that stupid thing? This stuff looks cheezy.

daisydaisy's picture

I'm fucking impressed. They had been working on this shit for a year. Wow, whole fucking year.
I wonder in which mansion is their design studio set up. I bet in France. Such gorgeous climate, great food and idyllic scenery made their creative juices flow and boom! there we have.
Snake fucking baby spoon.
Can't these two just kill each other. Why buy knives by a dozen if you can't use them on the loved ones.

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zomay's picture

A Noun _is a pe... on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 7:06pm.

If you're just looking for someone to pick on, look elsewhere. This is the first and last time I will acknowledge you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually it is not the first time you have acknowledged me. You have pointed out my writing mistakes in the past. I guess you don't like it when people turn the tables on you.

My bad.

;0

____________________________________

I keep asking MK to put up some padding and hand out plastic helmets, but he doesn't care either. --Team Valtrex

A Noun _is a person place or thing_'s picture

@zomay

I have no problem with you.

I have no idea why you feel you have a problem with me. However, that's your decision; no skin off my nose.

Also, I was not the one who brought up a problem with the media -- the person to whom I addressed my previous comment brought it up.

If you're just looking for someone to pick on, look elsewhere. This is the first and last time I will acknowledge you.

stefystef's picture

Submitted by ginger_t on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 12:11pm.
@stefystef: Good point, but is that not an adult point of view? What baby, anywhere, sees a snake and coos?

********************************************************************

I've seen video of babies in India dancing with snakes and go to any Pentecostal church in Louisiana and watch babies and snakes and evangelicals, OH MY! *LOL*

Personally, I think the spoon is for the smack-addict in your life. *LOL*

____________________________________________________________
There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K

tacky!!!!!

DiamondDawg's picture

Submitted by cheetahstripes on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 4:04pm.
This is some seriously hideous shitola.
---------------

I adore your avie. Can I borrow it?

DiamondDawg's picture

Submitted by azgirl on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 12:54pm.
I really love the rings. I wish I could afford it. :o(
-------------------

Go to HSN.com and in the keyword search box type "snake ring" - if I liked snakes, I might think about buying this one. It's only $80 on sale, sterling silver! You CAN AFFORD IT! JEEBUS. Why the eff do I always have to do all the work around here?!?!?

1.31ct Absolute™ Sterling Silver Pavé "Snake" Ring
HSN Price: $79.95

2 payments of $39.98

cheetahstripes's picture

This is some seriously hideous shitola.

Ive seen the same shit at walmart

Two Drink Min's picture

Submitted by d-nice on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 1:48pm.
i want the black snake ring!

___________________________________________

Don't you mean
I want MAAAAAAH black snake ring!????
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656

yucko's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 10:46am.
I bet you a hundred million dollars that in reality, they don't do SHIT for anyone. It's a VANITY PROJECT.

-----

Exactly.

And seriously, is that really a fucking egg cup? And a baby spoon? For whom?

kiv's picture

let me get this right. brad has enough skill that he can design houses for people. angie has enough skill that her jewellry designs sell like tiffany's, they are so knowledgeable that only they can bring awareness on global conflict and poverty... angie's skills at wanting her son back and brad's skills at playing a perverted infant warrant academy award nominations. i didn't know two actors with very limited education could be so multi-talented.

BRADIFUL BITCH's picture

madam s. on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 1:44pm

Skeletina markets herself by design, not jooree design, but to those kind out there that wanna believe so much in an entity that has no faith or belief herself.
She depends on this lost girl image.

On that, so no snake cuff bracelet for madam s. *check*

/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.

MrPossumsMama's picture

Are they high? Who do they think is gonna buy this shizz? Sorry but the trailer park crowd who loves these two so much ain't got that kinda dough.

jazzfish_77's picture

Meh. Not bad, not great. I wonder how much of a role they had in designing it.
=====
dianad1968 @ 11/16/2009 at 12:30 am

LMAO, ole girl Jazzy finally lost it. It’s OK jazzy, it’s all your fault for betting on the wrong horse. The Jolie-Pitts are here to stay.

d-nice's picture

i want the black snake ring!

madam s.'s picture

It's almost as though this can't be real. This woman is such a damn hypocritical moron, and it's stuff like this that makes you wonder how ANYONE can buy her poorly marketed image to the public. I mean, she pretends to care about children who are victims of violence, yet her whole fucking career is about glamorizing guns, violence, etc. She pretends to care about lack of resources, war-torn countries, and the fallout and human cost of these things, yet is involved in producing overpriced jewelry using DIAMONDS?? How can anyone take this woman seriously? She's such a ruthless self-promoter, yet within that she shows how wildly uninformed, uneducated, and blatantly unconcerned she is.

____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!

KD's picture

Submitted by azgirl on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 12:54pm.

I really love the rings. I wish I could afford it. :o(
___________________________

I'm sure you can find the cheap version of it that she designed it off of.

2Di4's picture

i hate myself for liking this.

Solaera's picture

Lame. Those 'designs' are hardly anything new. I'm pretty sure the Egyptians played this look out years ago. Hell, the Olsen twins had a line of snake themed jewelry earlier this year and Nicole Ritchie had a similar theme a while back.

smoody's picture

Rip off of Nikki St.Phalle fer sure.

No Words's picture

I love how MK has the jpg of the pendants labeled "angiesnakes." Although I think it should be "angieisasnake."

azgirl's picture

I really love the rings. I wish I could afford it. :o(

Somuchbetterthanyou's picture

So even tho the snake spoon is like staring down the barrel of a gun before opening wide, at least it looks like it's smiling back at ya'...that's cool...right?

::shudder::

angel_i's picture

OMFG It's like my JJ nightmares come to life! They were totally talking about this shit last night. Stoopit. It's like her COBRA TEMPER!!!but expensive.

♥ Threadkilla!
Lindsay. It's Over.

BRADIFUL BITCH's picture

CHA! Snakelina JooRee Times!

The Brad did help design his wedding rings for X.

This shit is youglay though. I'll take a cat head Cartier rip off any day over this Hot Topic clearance bin stuff....

/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.

TheBreakdown's picture

Stop ıt, sluts!

Thıs ıs for the chırrenz!!!

***************************************

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Supertramp's picture

The only thing I can say is that Alexis Carrington would look divine wearing it.

zomay's picture

We all know Maddox came up with this snake crap. Guns, swords, knives and snakes. That's all they talk about.

;D

___________________________________

I keep asking MK to put up some padding and hand out plastic helmets, but he doesn't care either. --Team Valtrex

Green Is Good's picture

Submitted by melmez on Mon, 11/16/2009 - 12:16pm.

If it's possible I love MK even more for knowing who Lucius Malfoy is.

************************************************

So do I!

Green Is Good's picture

As a devoted servant of Lord Voldemort, I fully support anything with a snake motif. But why don't pretentious asses like Brad and St. Angie just donate the money directly to this charity?

Shut up, cut the check and move along.

muffintops's picture

cornnny.....

zomay's picture

Sometimes hawks eat snakes. Maybe I should make hawk spoons.

____________________________________

I keep asking MK to put up some padding and hand out plastic helmets, but he doesn't care either. --Team Valtrex

melmez's picture

If it's possible I love MK even more for knowing who Lucius Malfoy is.

Brad and Ange need to drop off the edge of the earth a la "The God's must be Crazy" bottle of coca cola because I am so fucking tired of them.

http://diaryofanillegalimmigrant.blogspot.com/