Johnny Depp Will Save Nicolas Cage
ATMs everywhere give Nicolas Cage the side-eye whenever he strolls up, because they know he's on his way to the poor house. Nicolas' checking account is coming up short thanks to buying stupid ass crap like real shrunken heads, a $500,000 car and two King Cobras. Nicolas Cage is a walking E! True Hollywood Story: MC Hammer.
Since Nicolas needs a check I was waiting for him to announce that he's the new Cash4Gold spokeswhore, but he doesn't have to do that now. With a friend like Johnny Depp, Nicolas doesn't have to peddle that ass to the highest bidder.
A source told The Daily Express that when Johnny Depp learned that Nicolas owed almost $7 million in unpaid taxes, he stuck his hand out for his old friend. You know, if Johnny Depp offered me a hand, my ass lips would be kissing his palm faster than you could scream, "CALL 911!" I digress.
Johnny feels that he owes Nicolas everything since he's the reason why he got Nightmare on Elm Street. Nicolas introduced Johnny to his agent and the rest history.
The source went on to say, “Johnny called Nic and basically told him not to worry and he’d help him and sort everything out. Johnny feels he owes his career to Nic and now wants to repay him – if Nic agrees. Johnny has never forgotten what Nic did for him.”
Johnny Depp is a wonderful man with a penis of gold, but he needs to put his checkbook away. Nicolas Cage did this shit to himself by buying useless crap like King Tut's nutsack and Cleopatra's clit. It's called EBAY, Nicolas! Shit, I'm sure Nicolas' own son, Kal-El Coppola Cage, would give him a few million dollars to legally change his name to something that doesn't make people shake their heads out of pity.
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Submitted by paris herpes on Fri, 11/13/2009 - 5:47pm.
Cage has ruined every movie since he started acting (Raising Arizona and Leaving Las Vegas aside)
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my god he does suck as an actor doesn't he?
I think the worst was peggy sue got married. THAT VOICE he uses when he's 'acting'!?!?! ugh. He's like some whiney slimey con artist.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
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xerquina, is that a joke ? French chicks are considered amongst the best looking on earth.
I wonder if the ex-waitress wife is going to stick around now that little Nicky Coppola is broke
Were catapillar eyebrows the thing back in teh 1980's?
Both those dudes needed to trim those fuckers!
I will give this compulsive shopper $5.00 for his pet octopus...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Celebs are normal people, minus reason and accountability...
LOL. LOVE THE VINTAGE PHOTO. WHEN NIC HAD HAIR.
If Johnny Depp truly loves Nic Cage he wıll pay hım the 7 mıllıon to dısappear from our cınemas forever!!
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I find this a little hard to believe. Not that Depp would not be that sweet (because we've all heard how nice he is) but Cage could probably find movies to finance his "get out of debt" campaign. I mean he's not the greatest actor in the world but he's a working actor, a working actor who commands a huge salary off every film he does. Not to mention he can sell his real estate if all else fails.
And I admit it I like those National Treasure movies. Yes I'ma dork.
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xerquina, Johnny was probably well into his 20s in the 90s, that's why his cheekbones look so fresh. What a hottie!!! Still is, and he's SUPER nice too. *orgasm*
"Is lame fish related to Gay Fish at all, because that would answer many of life's greatest douche mysteries." - MK
Cage has ruined every movie since he started acting (Raising Arizona and Leaving Las Vegas aside). Johnny owes him nothing, because of his penis of gold that every woman would jump on anyway. Cage's asinine expenditures are his own damn fault, as well as naming his poor child Kal-El! Is that a Scientology name!? By XENU!
"Is lame fish related to Gay Fish at all, because that would answer many of life's greatest douche mysteries." - MK
I don't believe a shred of this story.
I love and respect Depp; Cage? Let him go broke.
POS.
This is why I like Johnny Depp. He stays under the radar with his private life, is a good actor and is there to help others.
that's beyond sweet if true but seriously i have a hard time feeling sorry for a dumb ass who spends millions on stupid shit...declare bankruptcy like the rest of us and get it over with...pay off your tax debt by having your wages garnished.
That is very nice of Johnny. Cage needs to learn how to balance his checkbook.
Aw, JD is sweet. Just this summer I read that he left a $4K tip on a 4K bill here in nyc. Now as for him owing his career to NC, doubt it...someone woulda spotted those cheekbones at some point or another.
Funny Bones? Never heard of it. I will look it up! Thanks!
M.E.,
If you ever get a chance, watch "Funny Bones"!!!
I laugh like a damn fool ever single time I watch it!!!
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Shit, will Johnny be my friend? Seriously though, that is some noble shit. In a society that is very much "What have you done for me lately?" Depp remembers and is still grateful for his big break. What a great friend.
Nic hopefully doesn't use his get out of jail free card to continue this ways. He needs to get his shit together! I mean WTF, put at least a cool few mil in investments and shit. I assume he grew up wealthy (due to his lineage) and maybe never really was taught the value of a dollar. Well...his ass better learn!
Oliver Platt cracks me the hell up.
Loved him in Flatliners!
M.E.,
Ditto! Prob one of my all time favs! (Plus, you can't go wrong with Oliver Platt!!!!)
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jt
how in the hell do dumb-asses like Nic go broke? he used to make like $7 mil per picture, plus points on the box office and he's had some really successful films, he should be richer than fuck! idiot...
Clarisse - Benny and Joon is one of my all time favorite movies, even without my neverending love for JD.
I need to get it on DVD. I only have it on VHS and I don't even have a player for it anymore.
Johnny Depp is a saint. If it were me, I'd tell ol' Nic to have a garage sale or, as MK said, go the eBay route.
Fuck, I love Johnny.
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What have you done today to make you feel proud?
Try as I might, I can't think of anything snarky to write about Johnny Depp. A man's actions speak louder than his words, and Johnny's actions show what a quality human being he truly is. First helping very sick kids to laugh & feel good by reading them bedtime stories dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow (having his costume flown into London at his own expense); now financially helping a friend who helped him when he was struggling to start his career. I can't say enough good things about him.
Nic cage may have helped Johnny Depp when he was starting out, but he also brought his financial disaster upon himself. You don't spend like a drunken sailor, you've got to save, put the money in investments & live off the interest; that way, he could be provided for if his career disappeared. He had as much as $80 in the bank, and basically has blown it all; he could have had $4 million a year in interest alone. What a dummy.
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M.E.,
Back at ya!!! I'm going to have to watch that tonight!! (and make grilled cheese w/my iron and mashed taters w/a tennis racket!)
Here is one more!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBafYlgSCXs
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Is The Daily Express a British tabloid? And if Nic got $7 million, he'd have to pay half of that in taxes. So Johnny would have to give $14 million just to clear all of Nic's tax bills. And Nic still makes movies (IMDb list eight in post-production or development, and that's not including National Treasure 3), so it's not like the guy can't get work. I think he needs a good accountant and some advisors to reign in his insane spending more than he needs Johnny's money.
BENNY AND JOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I LOVE YOU CLARISSE!!!!!!!!!!
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M.E.,
Here you go...
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JAZZY! You hor. I'm gone for a few days and you are already knocking up others and fondling them.
*pouts* ;)
LOVE Johnny. *swoon*
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
sugar free - I have been in love with Johnny Depp since 1984.
haha M.E. you are crushing hard. can't blame ya. he is scrumptious.
M.E. OMG I wish you could see my drawing!!! ahahahhahahaha it's so bad ist's awesome!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
*sprinkles anthrax into an envelope*
*mails to El Bastardo*
Who's arguing!?!?!?
*throws confetti*
Can't we all just get along?
*smoooch*
wtf is everybody on drugs?
did harry potter toss his bong over here?
*posts pictures of Johnny all over office*
*drools*
I'm so bored I am drawing Johnny
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
wow, i leave for 5 minutes and all hell breaks loose!
*flashes Goopfan*
DON'T TAKE THINGS SO SERIAL!
Johnny is not gay!!!! Would a gay man trash a hotel room for a wominz??
NO.
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Christmas is right around the corner.
*kicks ELB in the ass on his way out*
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Oh! I was just joking around!