JLo's "Sexy Tape" Is NOT Coming Soon
JLo has farted all over her first ex-husband's big dream of having a real life after her (his words). Ojani Noa was planning to turn an 11-hour honeymoon tape he made with JLo back in the day into a mockumentary, but a judge has put a stop sign in front of his plans.
JLo's team of attorneys and Ojani, who represented himself, faced off in court yesterday to battle over the tape which includes footage of JLo waltzing around in panties and getting spanked. The judge ruled in favor of JLo and granted her a temporary restraining order banning any parts of the tape from seeing anyone else's eyeballs.
Outside of the court, Ojani told the NYDN he was sad. Ojani blamed JLo for RUINING HIS LIFE and keeping him down. Ojani cried, "She is destroying my life. This is another proof of her power and money trying to stop me from moving on with my life. I'm not making any money from these videos. This is about having a closure. It's my story."
The movie was going to be about Ojani's life as a Cuban immigrant. Ojani and the producers were going to use the tape as inspiration and weren't planning to sell it.
This isn't Ojani's first time getting shut down by JLo. Two years ago, JLo stopped him from releasing a tell-all book.
Ojani also believes he got shafted in their divorce settlement since JLo hired a bunk ass attorney to represent him, "I don't really believe in my (2005) agreement. My lawyer wasn't a real lawyer, he went to jail."
It sounds to me like Ojani is angry and confused. You know what's the best medicine for that? Ojani needs to put on some early Alanis Morrissette, heat up the tip on a pair of tweezers on the stove top, get in front of a mirror, take a deep breath and PLUCK AWAY ALL HIS FRUSTRATIONS! Ojani needs to pretend each one of those hairs is JLo and just pluck her out of his life! Maybe he will still feel like shit afterwards, but at least he won't have two furry landing strips over his eyes anymore.
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ha ha just read about this, can't belive jlo loves a spanking. This RumerMills article is funny too
http://www.rumermills.com/2009/11/10/jennifer-lopez-sex-tape-ojani-noa/
WTF? He should have just leaked it to the internet and then say the usual "I don't know how that got out and I am outraged". Isn't that the proper procedure?
*waving to JLo's old nose* - remember her fly girl nose?!
On his myspace page it says he is 79 years old(?) He looks great for a viejo!
Maybe he should go back to being a waiter or whatever he was before he met her. I don't imagine there would be too many life interrupting lawsuits in that future.
The one thing I've always wanted to know about JLO is: Does she ever look back on that incident with Diddy and wish she could have done things differently? Because I'm sure his money his looking far better than Skeletor's right now...
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who hasn't seen Jlow in panties anyway. I mean, c'mon what she trying to stop. It's not there is any mystery left. She should be happy he keeps putting her in the news otherwise, she wouldn't exist.
Where does one purchase such clothing fabric?
The Chicken Ranch?
_________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."
"JLo's team of attorneys and Ojani, who represented himself ..."
A word of professional advice: NEVER represent yourself, unless you have Esquire or Attorney at Law behind a comma after your surname. JMHPO ;*
AND never let your soon-to-be-ex pick your esquire, GOD I can't believe people still fall for that shit *sigh*
She was a boobless, chuncky monkey even then.
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"Ignorance is curable, but stupidity is forever." -Gary Cryan
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back when she used to look latina and didn't wear the Diane Sawyer/beige/white woman anchorwoman nude makeup all the time.. Christ. And she didn't do the far away gaze/mouth agape/'THIS IS MY SEXY GAZE' in every photo.
She still has total fucking jack Palance nose. Wide ass bridge. She looks like she could have been a boxer.
Oooh, she gets spanked???? How kinky...or maybe it's cuz her ass is so big everytime you turn around you slap it with something....
Meh, JLo how much did you pay this roach to come out of his roach motel with some janked up excuse for a sex tape to jump start your FAILING career? Cuz it was too much....You are OVAH!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Good move by the judge. Ojani Noa's actions are disgraceful.
http://www.jamaica-fact-fest.com
Fuck! Sorry for the double post; too much bourbon.
****************************************************
“Just pay the parking ticket. Don’t be so outraged. You’re not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked.”
which includes footage of JLo waltzing around in panties and getting spanked
Shit, that's just another day at my house.
****************************************************
“Just pay the parking ticket. Don’t be so outraged. You’re not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked.”
Now this pic of JLo is the Puerto Ricena I know!!!
ALl that other white girl crap is just wrong on her....
let her butt gro, dark lipstick, dark curly hair, thin eyebrows....
Jenny from the Block
she fucks a dead guy now
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Can you imagine how hairy his asshole is?
Darn it, I was so looking forward to this.
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Wow. Instead of not watching it by choice, I won't have a chance to ignore it.
JLO chases parked cars--and now that she is a has been I never did find out what made her famous in the first place....
I can find cuter hispanic women working at wallmart--needless to say better personalities as well.
Tee hee read on RumerMills J-Lo enjoys a good spanking, silly girl to make a tape of it....
http://www.rumermills.com/
I don't get how she keeps getting authority over Ojani's property. It's his tape he shot it, he has possession of the tapes, how is it any of her business if she consented to being filmed by him and left the tapes with him when they divorced?
I don't get this at all. She's barely got a career as it is, so who would it hurt? Not a stay at home mom with a nothing career. What a bitch. I hope when Marc leaves her she gets not one dime for all the pain she's caused the men in her life.
Oh JLO once shit on Ben Afflect during sex when she was on top, during a quickie in a trailer on set, she was on top and had a diarrhea attack and Ben was mic'd so the crew heard what happened. She's a pig.
he should have just leaked the tape and the tell-all like everybody else does and deal with the consequences later. Looking at this pic of JLo I get the impression that under that monstrous dress she is rocking a sascrotch bush that could rival vintage Demi's or Vadge's lol
It burrrrrrrns!!!! - Miss Coco Peru
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKNZICoKSdA
I bet she's totally boring in bed. She probably just lies there.
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What happens out of love happens beyond good and evil.
Jeezus, I don't care if he was fresh off the boat, toddlers write and spell better than him.
He looks like he's about ready to go all werewolf and howl at the moon. Dude, get some Nair before all that hairiness spreads over your eyes and you're blinded.
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Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. (MK)
That pic is all kinds of sick! Forget JLo..bring back ChoLo!
What an ass... get a REAL job, you fucking mooch! We don't care or want to hear your fucking "story"!!!
So, fuck off you fucking fuck!
****************************************************
pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy - MK
Oscar the Grouch just looked over and said "DAAYYYUUUUMN" at Ojani's forhead toupees.
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
Lord, his my space says he is 79 years old...he is real hot for 79!!
even with landing strip eyebrows he is still hotter than Skeletor...and Jlo needs that tape to come out what is she trying to protect her "precious reputation", she is so irrelevant at least one of her movies may be actually watched now...instead of straight to cable.
That is some fierce quasi mall hair she had.
This Cubano is dirtier than Tony Montanya. He needs to get a job like the rest of us and stop milking the JLO cow. Her ass can only leak for much cash man.
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"Let's unleash the defense lawyers." Nancy Grace.
Some famous peeps make more money sueing many peeps than actually doing what they're known for.
i'm siding with JLOLa on this one. this guy reeks of desperation and famewhoring.
NIce myspace page.. is he making the duck face?
____________________________________________
"SALT THE SNAIL"
I miss this JLo--she had her own face and look.
The one running about now is generic in every way except her epic bitchiness...then again, a lot of women get nasty when they remake themselves so aggressively using surgery.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
Jeez-look at J Ho -talk about straight out of East LA!
and whoever said it is right-she should allow the release of the tape-it might make her relevant again....
"Ojani needs to put on some early Alanis Morrissette, heat up the tip on a pair of tweezers on the stove top, get in front of a mirror, take a deep breath and PLUCK AWAY ALL HIS FRUSTRATIONS! Ojani needs to pretend each one of those hairs is JLo and just pluck her out of his life! Maybe he will still feel like shit afterwards, but at least he won't have two furry landing strips over his eyes anymore"
MK-you are on fucking form today!
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
LEAVE JENNY ALONE!
He's very shiny. It's a relief to see J-Lo not making that stupid mouth-open "sultry" face. She should have let the man release the tape. It could have made her relevant again.
She's one ugly beesh, inside and out.
"Mother, tell your children not to look my way."
Danzig
I'm amazed MK wasn't hypnotized by her old brows. If I were Ojani, I'd paste that pic on her door just to hear the horrified screams.
Oh, and that tape must be REALLY unflattering if JeLo won't use it for publicity.
So that's not Kim Kardashian in her ugly makeover???
Darn that was on my xmas list... GRRR!
She really used to be so pretty and sexy, why did she do that to herself? Money makes people lose their fucking minds.
i love vintage J-lo pics, these are timeless, elegant and pristine.
you know she cringes when she see the "old me".
you know he smells like drakar noir up in that pic too.
are you suggesting to put chola eyebrows on him.
looks like he already went the route of smile now, cry later...
then again, chola brows make everything better.
The eyestaches do nothing for me either. But I like her giant hair in the photo.
what's up with the mismatched buttons on that jacket?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown