Monday, November 9th 2009

Blair Waldorf, You Little Slut!


Prison baby Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl is the latest actress trying to conquer the music charts. Don't you know that record executives won't even think about giving you a deal unless you've got at least 5 IMDB credits to your name?

Here's Leighton's shiny new video for "Somebody to Love" (Jefferson Airplane just crashed) featuring Alan Thicke's baby boy Robin. The video is pretty basic. It features Leighton doing ho stuff in a rent-a-limo, ho stuff on a restaurant banquette (pretend it's Black Angus), ho stuff in an elevator and ho stuff on sheer curtains. This is kind of how you spend your Saturday night. Well, instead of doing ho stuff in a limo, you do ho stuff in a pedicab. And instead of doing ho stuff on a restaurant banquette, you do ho stuff while waiting in line at White Castle. You get the picture.

I know this song may cause your ear holes to reach for the meth, but any song that will become a favorite at strip clubs everywhere is fine by me. This song is definitely going double condom wrapper.

Posted by: Michael K


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PoodleLover's picture

Heh, well she's trying to 'sing.' I liked her better with Cobra Starship and that video. That was hot and sexy b/c she wasn't trying too hard. She is gorgeous and can sing but she should stick to appearances on shows like Entourage where you could hear her real singing voice instead of this synthesized shit.

Youri's picture

The british press claims she is dating Guy Ritchie.

Anonymous101's picture

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 11:35am.
Oh, so THAT's Robin Thicke. He reminds me of Tweety Bird trying to be ghetto. Sorry. I'm too old to think he's hot.

*********************************************

I must be old too, cuz I'd rather hit it with his daddy Alan.

------------------------------------------------

It's creamie, not prune!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

I can't stop calling her "Blair Waldorf Salad" in my head. Goddamn it. I've never even seen the show she's on.

**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 9:12am.

Great job! TEAM DRY HUMPING!!

*cues applause sign*

****************************************

LOL! I declare Manimal "Best Avvie of the Day!"

♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street

parissucksliterally's picture

there is no fucking way I am listening to another actress's pathetic attempt to be a singer.

**********************************************
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will disprove your faith in man
- Fiona Apple

I love Leighton as Blair, but I am not loving her as a singer. This song is horrible. She looks beautiful, as always, but can't sing.

yucko's picture

This song sucks.

But I don't dislike Blair (yet?). I do think she's quite pretty but the ice queen/spunky cute looks work better on her than overtly sexy.

Hekki's picture

Oh, so THAT's Robin Thicke. He reminds me of Tweety Bird trying to be ghetto. Sorry. I'm too old to think he's hot.

I kind of liked that song.

La Profesora's picture

I dont know if I have ever declared this, but

I Efffing love you Michael K!

You give me the LOL's by the truck load!

You had me at "Prison baby"

death2douches's picture

I like whores, so I like Leighton. She's a beauty, but her voice is a beast. Time to retire this shitfest quickfast.

I don't get the deal with Robin Thicke. If I want to hear someone sing with a soulful falsetto, I'll pop in some Diana Ross or Justin Timberlake. I like Robin's mom - Gloria Loring was the shiznit back in the day on Days of our Lives, but her son isn't all that.

And can I say just how relieved I was when I listened and realized this WASN'T a remake of Jefferson Airplane's song? Because you know Grace Slick would so choke a bitch.

~-*+*-~

"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~ Cordelia Chase

"Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable." ~ Mrs. White

Bossy's picture

Woah, woah, woah...I hadn't noticed before (clearly I don't always read MK's scribbles thoroughly) but Robin Thicke is in this. What is he doing associating himself with stuff like this? He actually has a good voice.

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SpiceDong's picture

In the words of Sofia Petrillo "she looks like a prostitute"

music has a nice beat to it, but it falls flat because she CAN'T sing.

in this day and age that people rarely buy music because they prefer to download for free, does this trick think she is going to sell by virtue of her looks and slutty videos alone? Bitch, please...1984 was 25 years ago.

It burrrrrrrns!!!! - Miss Coco Peru
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKNZICoKSdA

anony54321's picture

i made it through a minute and 4 seconds. that was gross.

god i want to leave this society already. i am giving up all i can - politics, worrying about the flu, all those things i cant change, i have given up, for the duration.

but then i gotta watch stuff like this, and man, it is sickening what this country is anymore.

how do you be fucking a shoulder while singing a song about finding love?

to quote michael k, "the fuck?"

********************
The McCanns Did It

poo's picture

God, what trash.

"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08

I wonder how many lines they did between the two of them.

That aside, I love Robin Thicke. That boy can SANG. They should have let him sing and let her roll around like a true video ho.

elegantlady's picture

Quel Whorish!
I will use this when my sominex prescription ends. Should put me right out!
++++++++
Virtue and Talent are obviously overrated.

NaughtyVoyeur's picture

No. That's George Michael. Silly :)

kayce_m's picture

sounds a LOT like a "polyamorous affair" song, imho.

but i like the ho stuff.

No Words's picture

Submitted by ricki lake on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 9:14am.
Robin Thicke is so fucking hot.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I agree.

The rest of the video is lame, and the song blows.

david Letterman- Staff fucker's picture

She does ho stuff with her feet? HOT!

She loses big points doing a song with Robin Thicke.

I hate when guys use the term "Baby Girl"!

See You Next Tuesday's picture

I'm sorry. I haven't figured out why she is considered attractive yet. She is pretty bizarre looking. And the song blows.

"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."

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madam s.'s picture

I can't believe these types of cds sell a single one when there is so much good music and so many talented musicians in the world. It's painful. And I can't decide who I was more embarrassed for, that girl or that cheesy guido wannabe guy.

____________________
ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!

rok's picture

isn't it weird that she's making out with Rufus in the video?

Fucking_Classy's picture

Also: ditch the Wet N' Wild overload, Feetster. You look like a discount hooker.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."

Fucking_Classy's picture

Bitch tries WAY too hard, which is not sexy AT ALL.

Sick and tired of these no-talent skanks taking the place of real actors and musicians.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."

Snarkley's picture

Well I knew the sex pictures had to lead to something. Isn't that the modus operandi nowadays?

ricki lake's picture

Robin Thicke is so fucking hot.

Manimal5's picture

Great job! TEAM DRY HUMPING!!

*cues applause sign*

super-ette's picture

Pretty bad. I disagree about her looks, I think she's beautiful. Horrible music though.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

This sucks my ass so hard I'm looking at my own colon.

**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu

Squash Posh's picture

haha, this was embarassingly stupid. the music, lyrics, everything. and i'm sorry..i'm sure she's a cute girl, but she looks so stupid trying to writh around and be sexy. sexy you are not.

Raul Duke's picture

Why didn't she do ho stuff with her feet, isn't that her speciality ?****************************************************************************************** I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.
Hunter S. Thompson

I need more cowbell's picture

Love him, love his voice (even synthesized) but all she was doing was whispering. Perhaps she should go into porn. If she kept her mouth shut she should do well.

I am not a lesbian but my girlfriend is.

angel_i's picture

Why do all these videos look like advertisements form call girls?

♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street

yepyepyep's picture

poor b , I dont think she is that pretty lets not even go into the "singing"

“So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” Megan Fox

Centaurious's picture

What up with the skirt?

That's some MC Hammer shit.

_________________________________
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

Bossy's picture

I can hardly hear a real voice in this. It's all a bit too computerized for me...which means she probably doesn't have singing talent. Sorry B.

Albatross's picture

I saw this last night from the Jezebel website, where they analyzed all the cliches. LOL Absolutely horrible.

**********
“You're very eloquent when I'm drunk." -Brian Kinney

MY SONG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ANKxsSZRs