Friday, November 6th 2009
Somebody Give The Hoff A Cheeseburger
At last night's MTV EMAs in Berlin, Germany's golden child took the mic and behaved like your drunk boss giving a blundering speech at the company Christmas party while everyone throws him "shouldn't you be setting a good example" side eyes. Seriously, The Hoff was slurring like he just gave oral to a taser gun.
Instead of Kanye snatching the mic from him, The Hoff needed Ken Seeley to come and take him away.
And I feel like we should raise a glass (filled with a non-boozy beverage*, of course) to The Hoff's oh-so-fanceeeeee sequins blazer. It stayed sparkly in such an awkward situation.
*Does a wine cooler count as real alcohol?
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Who let him on the show anyway?
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Get the fucking ads out of the comments section!!!
KARMA's a BITCH!
he is just a walking embarrassment at this point.
He's a waste of time and space.
He will die drunk, in the meantime, he breaks his daughters hearts.
Damn, boyfriend was druuuuuuuuuuunk.
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“You're very eloquent when I'm drunk." -Brian Kinney
MY SONG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ANKxsSZRs
The Hoff was slurring like he just gave oral to a taser gun.
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OMG, LOL!
MK, seriously, never have I come across a bitch who can come up with the lines you do!
Oops, I only now see that he was at the EMA's, that changes things a little. I was out with the (swine) flu all week, so I guess I missed out on a lot.
Knowing MTV's track record, they were not counting on him being sober.
Submitted by Poison Candy Apple on Sat, 11/07/2009 - 3:13am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 11/07/2009 - 1:40am.
Submitted by Poison Candy Apple on Sat, 11/07/2009 - 1:36am.
I think he should pick up some curly fries next time, that would be hilarious.
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LMFAOOOO can you picture him trying to dangle those above his drunken face?
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Yes, I can. It's like Shauna Sand trolling for dignity - not gonna happen!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 11/07/2009 - 1:40am.
Submitted by Poison Candy Apple on Sat, 11/07/2009 - 1:36am.
I think he should pick up some curly fries next time, that would be hilarious.
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LMFAOOOO can you picture him trying to dangle those above his drunken face?
Submitted by Poison Candy Apple on Sat, 11/07/2009 - 1:36am.
I think he should pick up some curly fries next time, that would be hilarious.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
i fucking shit you not... i watched his drunken burger eating vid like 2 days ago and thought "i wonder if he's beat the old bottle yet..." NOPE. Poor Hoff. I feel like buying him "A Wendy's" like his kid said.
"You're sitting there drunk on the floor, eating A Wendy's" I believe that burger was the lovely double with cheese with errythang awn it.
Now I'm sad thinking about Falco. He died in a car crash. Alcohol (Hoff, are you listening?) and drug related from what I recall.
Wirklich schade.
Submitted by david Letterman... on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 5:44pm.
I had In n Out again today. I would share mine with the Hoff. Don;t hassel the Hoff!
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I LOVE In n Out!!!! Wish I didn't have to go to California or Arizona to get it!
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
Is this behavior still within the parameters of "functional" alcoholism?
I thought of that Der Kommissar song, too!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Dave, Davie Baby, Hoffalicious Hoffalovealot...the sweet, sweet nectar ain't bein' sweet taya...Get my drift?...Cut that bitch loose...Yeah, smoke dis instead *handin' Hoff a sensi bud cat nip blunt*...Mmm'mmm *crankin' Bob Marley*....Oh yeah...Hey Hoff, I'm HONGRAY, what's say we order some hamburgers?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Thanks Trini. it's sad but true.
I feel a little bad for him...at least my f-ups aren't televised...but dammit, I don't have kids...and I don't go to work drunk. Oh, and my drunken escapades are not on YouTube (filmed by children).
David Hasselhoff wasted with Pamela Anderson! Check out But You're Like Really Pretty: A Celebrity Webcomic updated every Wednesday (aka Hump Day):
http://www.butyourelikereallypretty.com
Hasselhoff hahaha.
Of course this song comes to mind:
Der Kommissar CHA!
Falco
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GmkjnL4EYw
Did he say "Wie gehts gut"?
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Bottom-feeder.
What's he going to blame this one on? Cold medication? A mic malfunction?
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Where art thou Dr. Drew?
Submitted by woodhorse on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 6:28pm.
Meh. He did a lot better than I could do if I drank that much. I fell and did the splits when I caught the bouquet at a friends' wedding at a posh country club. I don't drink any more. Not because I'm an alcoholic but because I can no longer do the splits.
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LOL that is priceless.
When I saw this last night - I thought to myself - this is simply made for D-Listed. He was such a mess.
"The Hoff was slurring like he just gave oral to a taser gun."
...This is why I love you Michael.
-MariahK
Submitted by Albino Squirrel on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 6:15pm
It was probably picked out by his daughters. Say what you will about his drinking habits but judging from his show he seems to have a pretty good relationship with his daughters. So I guess he could be commended for that.
I heard some weirdness but not a lot of slurring. Maybe I'm deaf or just fluent in booze.
Stinko paralytico.
"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."
his alcohol induced vomiting must be EPIC.
Meh. He did a lot better than I could do if I drank that much. I fell and did the splits when I caught the bouquet at a friends' wedding at a posh country club. I don't drink any more. Not because I'm an alcoholic but because I can no longer do the splits.
Submitted by Whatever on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 6:21pm.
His liver must be in shambles.
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Naw, it filed for divorce months ago.
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
His liver must be in shambles.
Oh Hoff, you just keep bringing the entertainment.
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"I'm a black robot, motherfucker."
Um, the blazer is one thing but can we talk about the matching sequin tie? Tragic.
I think we've found Lilo's roommate in rehab. Or maybe not...whew...what a mess!
"Is lame fish related to Gay Fish at all, because that would answer many of life's greatest douche mysteries." - MK
He said (slurred)at one point "alles klar" which literally means everything is clear, but can also mean "it's all good"
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He is drinking himself to death.
He needs help.
love it! a toast: u don't fuck with the hoff.
Holy. Shit. At first I couldn't tell if he was slurring incoherently or if he was attempting German.
Damn. That is bad.
I hate myself but I feel sorry for him. However, I did laugh when he said he was there "to represent for the best rock band".
I wonder if it;s the sauce or pills? I know the former is his perference but some people start popping the pills with the mindset of "at least I'm not drinking". He does sound like he has a case of the drunkies though.
I think I feel sorry for him because he doesn't seem like a mean drunk. I grew up with a vicious drunk that I despised and I don't get that vibe from the Hoff. He should be ashamed of himself regarding his kids though.
i don't feel bad for people who can't handle their alcohol. either be wasted and own up to it, or don't drink as much.
i'm not going to watch the movie- was he at least funny??
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
How embarassing.
Hi Hookers! I am the only one who feels bad for the Hoff!
Imagine how fucked up his wife must be that HE got custody of their kids!
....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K
I had In n Out again today. I would share mine with the Hoff. Don;t hassel the Hoff!
Hasseldrunk loves Deutscheland because they have the only people in the world who were dumb enough to buy his records.
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
he still looks pretty good tho
"I am here to represent for the best rock band"
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Surrsly. As soon as he starts talking about the wall he sounds like he has Aspergers. I get that nervous feeling like "I'm never gonna get away now...."
♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street
The German is useful. I can't tell if those were words after "20 years, huh?" he says "ALAXGLA!" That could be German for alls I know! Is it?
♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street
WTF mitch, get the help you need STAT!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'