LiLo's Got White Oprah's Back
Pull up a crate and slip on a Hazmat-made mouth mask, because it's time for another Thanksgiving dinner at the crack house. The menu this time around includes more of the same: Michael Lohan's bullshit casserole (served with a giant side of delusion) and LiLo's tears of denial cocktail (which is basically just Red Bell and wet cigarettes).
Yesterday, Michael Lohan continued the non-stop fun by releasing an audio tape of White Oprah talking about how LiLo has punched her out and thrown her out of a car. I've already filed that image under: Things to think about when you need your mouth to smile.
LiLo has struck back against Michael and defended her beloved mother on Twitter. LiLo regularly holds her mother's weave up while she yacks up last night's party, so of course she's going to continue to fight her fight. LiLo wrote: "she blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I'd beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did."
Every time LiLo's updates her Twitter, Michael's Twatter burps (they're synced up like that), so he immediately responded to her claims to Page Six:
"That's a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I'm going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies. No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her. Because she's forsaken everything He's given her and she's done nothing but misuse all the gifts she's given."
And God is about to take away Michael Lohan's whoopee cushion man titties if he doesn't stop throwing around his good name like that. And those are his only gifts.
Here's White Oprah's defender leaving a house party in Los Angeles night. No need to call child protective services, because I don't think that's a fetus stashed in her womb area. LiLo is just getting creative when it comes where she hides shit she's snatched from other people's houses.
wow,nice!
by the way
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Am I the only person who sees a freaking baby bumb?!?!?!?! Seriously I've seen it in a couple of photos now from a couple of different sites but no-one else seems to be commenting on it. Am I going crazy? I remember pregnancy rumors going around a few months ago (it was one of the many times her and Sam broke up)and apparently she didn't know who the father was. Looks like it could be true because I swear she's showing!!!
This family is such hardcore hillbilly trash that even Rob Zombie wouldn't stoop to film them.
I wish this bitch would just die already. I have NO sympathy for her at all.
The only thing white oprah and her asswipe ex are going to worry about when Linds dies of an overdose is where their next meal will come from.
No matter how much of a jerk Michael Lohan is (really Lezlo needs to just stop so he will), he's right. Minus the god crap. I mean bitch stopping blaming everyone but yourself!
Lawdy, I love to read about how LiLo is spiraling into the abyss. It's great fun to watch her fuck up beyond measure. Only River Phoenix did it better. Have to tip my hat to SamRo from getting away from this fucking cunt. It's a match race between LiLo and Wino as to who checks out first. It's a coin-flip. You can bet that a lot of people will be celebrating when LiLo dies. Cannot happen soon enough. Maybe, just maybe, others will learn from her fucked-up life. She's an excellent bad example.
Any news on that other fuck-up, Corey Haim?
From his response it looks like they're at least right about one thing....he's an abusive jackass. The way he reacted to NeNe (ya, she was being annoying, still) and his "that's it, I'm releasing even more tapes now!" attitude shows how quickly he reacts with anger. And when he was a raving cokehead, alcoholic with them growing up it was probably way worse.
To the guy saying we should feel oh so sorry for her, you're right. We should still see her as a big ole victim in all this, because her "poor me" attitude will get her far in life. Just look at her now!
Jeebus! My sweet, sweet Lilo looks seriously blasted, strung out and waaayyyy out of it! That girl needs help fast!!
Who is her new victim, um, man?
Submitted by mike on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 12:56pm.
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LOL!! Genius ;)
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 9:40am.
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 9:38am.
Oh STFU you dumbasses, Like I care what any of you think. REALLY! This situation is sad and a young girls life is out of control because of it, do you think drugs and depression and thoughts of suicide are funny?
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Sure, but we all know that if she was fat or black you wouldn't care.
Word! But let's trick him by starting to say Michael Lohan is "Black Irish"
It's sad but Lindsay clearly doesn't want help. There's nothing anyone can do about that unfortunately. I almost understand releasing these tapes if that's the only way to get her attention and try to force her to go to rehab. Although, wasn't she in rehab for months before she got with SamRo? Now he's releasing the tapes for revenge and who does that help? No one.
Btw, good one Angel_i!!! *fist pound*
Yuck both him and WO are total assholes. No wonder Lilo is wandering around Hollywood with some badass coke bloat. She is on her way to the bottom and it's not going to be pretty. I mean look at her face! She's not ugly but lately she's making Donatella Versace look good. And that is not a compliment.
"Is lame fish related to Gay Fish at all, because that would answer many of life's greatest douche mysteries." - MK
WHY would you get yelled at for using italics? Perhaps it should be standard to use them when whenever the writer is a little tipsy, just so we know for sure.
Crackbloat!
Ah so refreshing to hear stories about family bliss over the holiday season! Makes you all warm in the tummy.
I have no more opinions about these people. Nothing more to say. Don't care.
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Christmas is right around the corner.
I can't believe that people continue to think Michael Lohan has good intentions. He is trying to get control of Lindsay, her career and what's left of her money.
If he was such a concerned father and believed that Lindsay was in danger of killing herself, why does he continue to mention her career? The career won;t mean a thing if your kid is dead. Also, he never mentioned the fact that his 15 year old daughter had been traveling the world and going to parties with her 23 year old sister until a reporter mentioned it.
this man is out to line his own pockets, control Lindsay and launch his own career.
Come at me bitch!
Submitted by TellysWorld on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 11:02am.
Seriously dudes, why don't more people bash her stupid fucking whore of a mother publicly? That woman is a shepherd for the devil--am I the only one who sees that?
Selfishness seems to run wild in the Hohan family.
Dina has been covering for Lindsay for years and I still think Michael is right for trying to get the truth out there...but I'm not sure that his intentions are just to help Lindsay.
If only you can sound like italics, what would it sound like?
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Why isn't this bitch dead yet?
"If she can't pamper the swipe and drink the babies then she gots to go..."
Submitted by chewba on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 10:22am.
Wow, your post really does bring things back into prospective, how sad for that boys family. I too find it pretty hard to drum up too much sympathy for Lilo when families like this are truly hurting from the loss of a loved one.
"He who shall, so shall he who."
Blohan can't keep up much longer. She is wasting away physically and mentally.
She's going to end up face down in a gutter.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 11:13am.
What's the code for italics? I'd like to use it sometime so i can get yelled at.
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< em > < /em > (no spaces...if I don't space them you can't see them:) Have at it, hunny:)
♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street
DD - for italics
use <
then type
em
then close it with >
at the beginging of the word or sentence. To end the word or sentence use <
then /
then
em
then close the tag >
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 11:13am.
What's the code for italics? I'd like to use it sometime so i can get yelled at.
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((whispers)) Meatballs
Runs away!!!
Coma Caca!!
What's the code for italics? I'd like to use it sometime so i can get yelled at.
Drugs, Lies and Audiotape...opening on a twitter near you.
Coke bloated Junkie
Submitted by parkerj on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 10:44am.
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Or a trailer park.Same diff.
Is this guy her bodyguard/dealer because he's all over her like she can't do shit for herself. Overbearing much?
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"Take that with a silo of sarcasm" MK 10/21/09
Seriously dudes, why don't more people bash her stupid fucking whore of a mother publicly? That woman is a shepherd for the devil--am I the only one who sees that?
Yes, ML is a famewhore but I can remember several times him saying that they needed to stop LYING otherwise he would release these tapes, and they still did it like assholes because the coke made them feel invincible. I also distinctly remember that Lindsay was the one who invited him to a staged photo-op and shit, and then as soon as he condemned her drug-addicted friends and told her to stay away from them and told Dina to put her fucking kids in a real school and stop taking Lindsay to clubs at 2 in the fucking morning, she turned on him. WTF? Yes he's fucked-up but at least he's TRYING to do SOMETHING. Better than calling her a genius and saying those were her "friend's" pants.
I don't know, I guess I'm so defensive because I truly do believe that he means well, no matter how horribly he is going on about this. He actually looks distraught, and Dina...well Dina just looks like a fresh spring Cokey.
Give me back my goddamn HELMET!
Of course she's going to back her enabling mother, they share a dealer.
Dear Lohans:
keep your family shit drama private! you are all pieces of crap. Help yourselves and then speak later. Not just one person is at fault in shitty situations specially in your family drama. You are each other's enemies. arrrrgh go away!!
SIncerely,
Peanut butter jelly time!
Coma Caca!!
well, blohan's looking great as usual here.
*rolls eyes*
They are all such frightening examples of trash...its like they walked right out of a Lifetime Original movie.
I don't see any bulge in her stomach. I think that it's just the angle of the photo. Lindsay needs to just lay low for a couple of months and stop going to clubs so often. She just asks for trouble when she hits the clubs.
Come at me bitch!
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 10:09am.
I just hate b!tches who can dish it but can't take it!!
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Pigez Hilton, anyone?
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
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God I just wanna
I am finally convinced that this entire family is brain damaged.
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You're not the only one who just smiled like a farting toddler~~ M.K.
These people are so classy!
To quote MK himself: "Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!"
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Chris Brown needs to like, wow, take that stupid ass bow tie and shove it down his throat. It's like, wow. WOW. --MK 8/31/09
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 9:49am.
There are legitimately tragic situations in families all around the world, at all times. This family is not one of those situations.
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Truer words were never spoken. Today down the road from me, there is a funeral for an Amish boy of 11, who died after falling beneath the wheels of his family farm wagon. His parents are beside themselves and have 6 younger children to care for. These are kind gentle religious folks who keep to themselves and cause harm to no one. As I write this, dozens of wagons and buggies are arriving at the farm for the funeral. That is sorrow, that is pain. Lindsey Lohan is just disgusting.
Dr. M
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Don't really know what to say -
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If Lindsay needs help = she should get it -
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I had a patient addicted to pain-killers -
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Tough to get off of -
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Harder than kicking a coke habit -
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Depending on what she is taking -
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going "cold turkey" could kill you -
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Good Luck Lindsay
Peace
Dr. M
MM
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 9:49am.
There are legitimately tragic situations in families all around the world, at all times. This family is not one of those situations.
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Hear, hear!
♥ Threadkilla!
"[The informant] is the tit sandwich that visited Hank the other night. It's gonna be hard to listen to anything she has to say" ~ Bubba's thoughts, Lonely Street
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 9:40am.
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 9:38am.
Oh STFU you dumbasses, Like I care what any of you think. REALLY! This situation is sad and a young girls life is out of control because of it, do you think drugs and depression and thoughts of suicide are funny?
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Sure, but we all know that if she was fat or black you wouldn't care.
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Zactly!! And his pal ricki lake makes jokes about mutilating and torturing people. How is that funny?? I just hate b!tches who can dish it but can't take it!!
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It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
I just noticed the tag on this one. "Crackheads". Too funny.
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George W. Bush has decided to become a motivational speaker, thereby putting his money where his foot usually is.
God I just wanna shit in her hair - suckandfuck
LOL madam s
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
ubmitted by madam s. on Fri, 11/06/2009 - 9:42am.
So if god has taken her career away, I guess on the flip side we have to assume that god gave Lindsay roles in movies like "Herbie Fully Loaded" and "Labor Pains". So it seems like god never really liked her that much anyway.
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LOL! ITA! Besides, doesn't god hate gay people anyways? Or does god's love of famewhores override his gay people disdain? I'm confused. I need Michael Lohan to clear up this whole god thing for me, he is wise.
@ Jimmy Boca
SHE'S FUCKIN 23!!! It's not like people just pushed her mug in a mountain of coke
it was her own decision! Now as much as I feel fkn bad for her she doesn't do shit about it...she actually loves it and prolly do it for attention now more then a high
When you a drug addict there's no money in the world that can make you quit anything
Rehabs,doctors,therapy ...sitting on Oprah couch won't help unless YOU woul help yeself!
Her familly just milking the last cents they can and she just do what she does to be relevent
this girl can go from famous adorable freckled kiddo to a drug addicted bum on a street
if you think that having certain million of chunk in ur bank would set u for life
u dead wrong....those people have everything taken away overnight same way they got it
So if this chick won't grow up and realise she's in her mid 20s and she can't be running to 'mommy" for help
this bitch is done ....weak...amature child
That kinda mommy shit comes from raising your child to think it's ok to live in a house till u 25.. Umm HELLO! If you still in yo mama house at 25 then you are straight up looooozer! Even at 21 when you are considered adult by LAW and living at mamas crib is already a free pass to loozerville
-Rants over
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I doubt anyone would want to motorboat in Kim Kardashians bush garden
but no doubt some would want to swim in Paris Hilton's crab buffet
Is that Gerard Butler's baby????