Monday, November 2nd 2009

Elton John Isn't Feeling Well

Some of you may be feeling the pain this morning because you lost an organ (or two) during your weekend of debauchery. Well, shake and bake it off, because you could be laying up in the hospital with an E. coli infection like Elton John.

The Daily Mail reports that Elton was hospitalized over the weekend with a bad case of E. coli bacterial infection and the flu. ACK! We must all refrain from making ten million raw chicken jokes.

Because Elton has the ills, he's been forced to cancel a bunch of concerts in the UK and the United States. Hopefully, Elton will be back on stage in two weeks.

Elton's partner David Furnish said he was out of the hospital and doing well. Elton's rep issued this statement: "He is recovering from a case of serious influenza with minor complications. We are confident he will be back on stage in the near future."

Those of you who wanted to send flowers should send a balloon basket instead, because I'm sure a dozen floral shops have already moved into Elton's house. Git well soon, Elton!

Posted by: Michael K


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Chilly's picture

Why is the Joker playing a piano... Is that from Batmen 8?

huangzhixian104's picture

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madam ex's picture

I love Elton, hope he doesnt have the dreaded monster.

patty cake's picture

get well elton

xoxox

The war isn't working.

david Letterman- Staff fucker's picture

Who is the ol lesbian in that picture?

easyaspie2's picture

Poor David. He is such a nice person and Ellie is such a grumpy old queen. He must be hellish when he is sick.

Disraeli_Ears's picture

Submitted by Stock Broker on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 12:30pm.

I like Elton John
better when he was with Bernie Taupin....good team.

_______________________________________________

Oh, yeah! A great team!

=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?

MrPossumsMama's picture

Is Furnish a real last name??

Stock Broker's picture

I like Elton John better when he was with Bernie Taupin....good team.

_______________________________________________
"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone

the Blinding's picture

I don't know who is more annoying, cunty Elton or his golddigging husband. why don't you try marrying a woman again, Elton? didn't that fix everything the last time?

M.E.'s picture

This is why we wash our veggies and fruit.

snowpiece's picture

*HURLS ALL OVER THREAD AND LEAVES*

****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown

DiamondDawg's picture

I'm concerned that Elton got this during a full moon. It could be worse than we know.

GOD BLESS ELTON JOHN!!!

And whores....all our vegetables and fruits have fecal matter. The ones from overseas have HUMAN WASTE. The ones in the U.S. have cattle waste.

Our water is processed and they tell us its safe. I don't know how filtered toilet water/waste can ever be safe.

I'm so grossed out I don't think I'll be eating for the rest of the day. S'okay. I'm closing in on size 4.

M.E.'s picture

E. Coli comes from fecal matter.

Mopa's picture

Veggies can cause problems too. Chi Chi's had deaths/illness caused by tainted onions...

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/03318/239715.stm

mrs_lovett's picture

I got e coli from bad deli meat, so I know what he's going through. Get well soon, dear Sir Elton!

QueenOfTrashin's picture

Salmonella comes from under-cooked chicken. E. coli is in fecal matter. We all have it. Someone's dick wasn't too clean when E. john put it in his mouth!

"Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid." -John Wayne
"Ignorance is curable, but stupidity is forever." -Gary Cryan

The Sunshine Gang's picture

OT: I imagine lots of e-coli comes from people not watching their hands. Back when I was a manager for a theatre company, I was constantly reminding teenage employees to WASH THEIR DAMN HANDS before going back to the concession stand. One dipshit actually stood there and popped a zit (which was absolutely disgusting), then wondered why I made him go back and scrub his hands. Ugh!

^^^^^^

This is why I never eat out

Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:53am.

LOL! Thanks...it's great to be back in action.

But I just can't give up meat...mmmm, meat.
=====
Especially, after just getting some again last night!! LOL!

The Sunshine Gang's picture

I thought e.coli was fecal bacteria...

KD's picture

Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:53am.

I would totally become Vegan, too, but like meat too much. *daydreams of my beef stew cooking in crockpot*

NitWitty's picture

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:50am.

Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:47am.

become a vegetarian
problem solved
====
Don't forget the spinach recall due to e.coli contamination. It's the processing and the workers, not the food.
********************************
Eggzackly, Jazzy! We even had it in regular lettuce about a year back or so. And on that note, gotta' hit it, Hank. Hope all you loverlies have an E coli free mornin!
_______________________________________________
Are You A Goddess? If so...

Disraeli_Ears's picture

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:41am.

LOL! Seriously, congrats!
-------------

LOL! Thanks...it's great to be back in action.

OT: @ Few words - becoming a vegetarian doesn't necessarily solve the problem. Remember the spinach and lettuce recalls recently? While the odds are better, vegetarianism won't make you 100% safe.

I admit that meat processing is a major source of public health issues. But I just can't give up meat...mmmm, meat.

=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?

KD's picture

E Coli and the flu? Double eww.

Yeah, Jazzfish is right, you can get e coli and all kinds of other nasty things from Veggies as well, like hepatitis (I think?) and other fecal contaminates.

Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:47am.

become a vegetarian
problem solved
====
Don't forget the spinach recall due to e.coli contamination. It's the processing and the workers, not the food.

items2001's picture

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---**** Hoody_m $ 50 ---**** Manicure Set $ 20

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Polo/Ed Hardy/Lacoste/Ca/A&F ……T-shirt:
Coach /Gucci/Lv/Ed Hardy/D&G/Fendi ……Handbag:$35
Christian Louboutin/Lv/Ed Hardy/Gucci/Coach/Lacoste/ Timbland……
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I wish you a happy shopping

Few Words's picture

become a vegetarian
problem solved

Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:37am.

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:27am.
Super congrats. I hope a good one at that!!!!
----------
Pretty good...first time with my new guy...we're still getting used to each other! LOL
===

So, I take it he first stuck it in your ear, but you were desperate enough to wait until he worked it around to your nether regions?

LOL! Seriously, congrats!

Tristram's picture

Fairbank Farms (NY) recalls 546,000 lbs of E. coli-infected ground beef sold in New England and Middle Atlantic states.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/11/02/national/a06...

Disraeli_Ears's picture

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:27am.

Super congrats. I hope a good one at that!!!!
----------

Pretty good...first time with my new guy...we're still getting used to each other! LOL

OT: I imagine lots of e-coli comes from people not watching their hands. Back when I was a manager for a theatre company, I was constantly reminding teenage employees to WASH THEIR DAMN HANDS before going back to the concession stand. One dipshit actually stood there and popped a zit (which was absolutely disgusting), then wondered why I made him go back and scrub his hands. Ugh!

=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?

Whatever's picture

Did his lazy house husband feed him undercooked chicken?

Squash Posh's picture

i got ecoli once. i had the weird shit evah! i actually laughed because it was so ridiculous. anyway, took antibiotics and all was well.

Raul Duke's picture

Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:21am.
Got your bean snapped, good for you!************************************************************************************* "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!" Homer J. Simpson http://www.aquaescorts.com/

Don't shit where you eat...just sayin.

Don't Shoot Me I'm Just The Piano Player...one of the best albums of all time.

Submitted by Disraeli_Ears on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:21am.

Off-topic: I got laid this weekend for the first time in...errr...a while. LOL! Yay, me!
===

Super congrats. I hope a good one at that!!!!

Disraeli_Ears's picture

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:00am.

E.coli is usually introduced by unsafe food processing, not by the type of food. Unfortunately, the food industry works it to make small producers look unsafe when it is usually the opposite.
--------------

Oh, yes...that's absolutely true. I've read "Fast Food Nation" and a couple of other books on the subject of factory food preparation. Yuck!

Poor Elton! While I don't really enjoy his latest musical endeavors, I have loved listening to the guy for years ("Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," anyone?).

Off-topic: I got laid this weekend for the first time in...errr...a while. LOL! Yay, me!

=================================================
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know?

Tristram's picture

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:09am.
It is only more prevalent because more food is processed by large corporation with bored workers who don't care about what they're doing.

There is nothing wrong with apples and squishing them, cooking them, eating them, etc. is perfectly safe. Buy local!

True. It's a good thing, cuz Pasteur was still in short pants then.

Aww that is too bad, I hope he gets better soon. He's always been my favorite bitchy queen!

Raul Duke's picture

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:06am.
When I was a teenager, I worked on a large farm/orchard. We made and sold tank-loads of fresh apple cider every few days. We drank quarts of the stuff (never pasteurized) while pressing it and after. I never got sick and never heard of anyone else getting sick. Maybe E. coli is more prevalent now?

My favorite cider is hot Dicken's cider. ************************************************************************************* "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!" Homer J. Simpson http://www.aquaescorts.com/

My husband was in Somalia while working for the U.S. gov't and was discouraged from even taking a shower because the water was so contaminated.

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 9:06am.

When I was a teenager, I worked on a large farm/orchard. We made and sold tank-loads of fresh apple cider every few days. We drank quarts of the stuff (never pasteurized) while pressing it and after. I never got sick and never heard of anyone else getting sick. Maybe E. coli is more prevalent now?
====
It is only more prevalent because more food is process by large corporation with bored workers who don't car about what they're doing.

There is nothing wrong with apples and squishing them, cooking them, eating them, etc. is perfectly safe. Buy local!

Albatross's picture

Damn, hope he gets better soon!

**********
“You're very eloquent when I'm drunk." -Brian Kinney

MY SONG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ANKxsSZRs

Tristram's picture

When I was a teenager, I worked on a large farm/orchard. We made and sold tank-loads of fresh apple cider every few days. We drank quarts of the stuff (never pasteurized) while pressing it and after. I never got sick and never heard of anyone else getting sick. Maybe E. coli is more prevalent now?

NitWitty's picture

So the moral of the story here is always wash your salad before you toss it.
Seriously tho, hope Elton makes a speedy recovery!
_______________________________________________
Are You A Goddess? If so...

E.coli is usually introduced by unsafe food processing, not by the type of food. Unfortunately, the food industry works it to make small producers look unsafe when it is usually the opposite.

Tristram's picture

SkyBitch: This was fairly freaky:

Some foods are considered to carry such a high risk of infection with E. coli O157 or another germ that health officials recommend that people avoid them completely. These foods include unpasteurized (raw) milk, unpasteurized apple cider, and soft cheeses made from raw milk. Sometimes the contact is pretty obvious (working with cows at a dairy or changing diapers, for example), but sometimes it is not (like eating an undercooked hamburger or a contaminated piece of lettuce). People have gotten infected by swallowing lake water while swimming, touching the environment in petting zoos and other animal exhibits, and by eating food prepared by people who did not wash their hands well after using the toilet. (CDC.gov)

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

e Coli is nothing to mess with.
Many years back, the day before Thanksgiving, my 5 yr old daughter had apple cider at the Kindergarten party. She got severely ill, we spent that night at a redi-care.
The cider was unpasturized. Now they don't even serve apple cider at school thank God.

I once got e. coli eating an egg on a train in Thailand down to Surathani. Fucking shit sucked ass...or should I say blew chunks. Tons of antibiotics and toilet paper.