The Photoshop Awards: Chelsea Handler's Playboy Cover

The Only reason I can stand this chick is because she called Pigez Hilton disgusting to his face when he was on her show.

....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K

I heard she won't be nude at all. Which seems to be a tend with Playboy of late... getting celebrities to pose for pictorials and giving the public the impression that there will be nude pictures of a celebrites that has not shown nudity before. Then you go buy the magazine and see a pictorial full of fully clothed pictures WTF? I thought that is why we had Maxium Magazine. All of Playboy's pics are photoshopped to the point that no one look real anymore. Why would anyone want to look at a digitally created picture that is loosely based on a celebrity? I would much rather see them as they really were. I remember the good old days when Playboy was a good magazine... of course, MTV used to show videos, too.

Dont care for her, but those boots..... I WANT!

Talk about Photoshop,because this chick is built like a linebacker.Can't STAND her.

Can't. STAND. Chelsea. Fucking. Handler.

♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Not alluring in any way. What has she done to her face? & has she suddenly grown tits? A year ago I thought she was funny. Now she's morphing into Joan Rivers except Joan is talented & knows how far not to go.

"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."

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Hugh Hefner has admıtted to screwıng men ın the past so hıs covers should not come as a shock to anyone.

No one ever looks real on them anyway!

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I do not find that woman attractive or funny. The only thing humorous about her show is the panel segment - where other people are funny. I read Vodka per a usually reliable friend's suggestion and there, I think, 2 stories that gave me a chuckle.

There is a reason she's on E!.

*****
luscious_t likes this. *thumbs up*
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
~cheetos & frapp~

uhhh, yea, she's a hypocrite all right, but Playboy doesn't have any standards.....all you need to be is youngish, average looking, not morbidly obese, brain dead and have most of your teeth as far as I can tell-photoshop does the rest, it's not about natural beauty or sexuality, it's about the ILLUSION of a stupid fuck toy for insecure men......if you decide to mutilate your tits and make yourself more plastic and even less intelligent, I guess it gets you brownie points and a date with the creepy old owner in diapers. yeah!

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Submitted by the Blinding on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 10:32pm.

isn't she always ragging on women for posing for Playboy or acting like sluts? what a hypocrite. Playboy must be desperate if they had to get this ugly bitch on their cover. she should've just went with Kim Kardashian again.

isn't she always ragging on women for posing for Playboy or acting like sluts? what a hypocrite. Playboy must be desperate if they had to get this ugly bitch on their cover. she should've just went with Kim Kardashian again.

pancake ass

Why don't they just call the magazine Photoshop already.

She REALLY pissed off someone is all I can say.

Aside from this cover, Hugh Hefner has GOT to be gay. I mean, ever notice how among all his grilfriends, not one of them is pretty or discernable from the next? Notice how his girls just fit a "formula"? Dude's a closet gay.

Submitted by sushi on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 6:31pm.
I don't get why they even have these people pose for anything. Just do CGI which is just as realistic.

Not to mention, why is it that every celebrity -- especially ones not necessarily known for their looks -- feel like they have to pose in a slutty publication?
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To make up for the fact that they're not hot and no guys in high school ever liked them. I don't care if Chelsea Handler can tie a cherry stem w/ her tongue, she's not hot material.

Seriously. This photoshop phenomenon has to stopped. It should even be illegal. Fatties and crazies with mental issues like Britney and Hohan become illusionally hot??! @_@

Playboy reminds me of various US airlines. At one time, both entities had beautiful women--Playboy for their centerfolds, airlines for their stewardesses. Now both have gone the way of aged hags. I feel sorry for men sometimes, I really do.

It's Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C. mashed up with The North Pole and Santa.

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=raquel+welch+one+milli...

________________________________
"The world needs a clothing line for Barstow pussy peddlers turned Reno strippers turned Texas trophy wives turned Boca retirees." Michael K.

She's cool with me but whoever approved this cover should be demoted. It's pretty hiddy. Why on earth would anyone do summer gold for fall? Why? The font? So wrong. It's even mimicking a summer Coppertone ad. Is this summer meets fall/winter? All kinds of wrong.

________________________________
"The world needs a clothing line for Barstow pussy peddlers turned Reno strippers turned Texas trophy wives turned Boca retirees." Michael K.

OMG who's responsible for this cover? It looks like 1973. The font is the worst I've ever seen since the cover of the Osmond's Crazy horses. Not to mention the daft "Christmas coloring". Playboy should just errr fold. Don't know/care about the woman. It's just really baaaaaaad.

------------------------
Auri sacra fames

I don't get why they even have these people pose for anything. Just do CGI which is just as realistic.

Not to mention, why is it that every celebrity -- especially ones not necessarily known for their looks -- feel like they have to pose in a slutty publication?

It's too late man. She's already hot :)
And funneh!

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She has a flat and flabby ass too...

I am glad that Chelsea admitted that the photo was a Photoshop endeavour...i watch her show and her real body is far from what I see here...but what is the point to pose for Playboy if she won't show her taco and chimichangas? Or even show her real body in a swimsuit for that matter...Heff should just put one of his cum wipers on the cover who surely meet Playboy's trashy standards if he thinks a REAL plus size Chelsea won't sell issues. I think that magazine is dumb anyway and should have died a long time ago anyway...what guy beats off to Playboy? at least Hustler and Penthouse don't pretend to be what they are not and show it all for the men to go to town with it.

It burrrrrrrns!!!! - Miss Coco Peru
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKNZICoKSdA

Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 4:30pm.

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 4:21pm.

nah. she looks old. she's a jersey 6.
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O for realz? I thought you were all about the momface;p

♥ Threadkilla!
Wow. Are you guys all on the SAME TEAM!?

She is a pitch perfect LA FEMALE.That is to say she's arrogant...annoying...and uses condescension as a stand in for intelligence.She's just attractive enough to bother talking to...but the only reason you go out with her is because at some point you will have angry sex with her.You will then bounce.That's her.That's LA.That is all.

VIRIDIAN:"When did it become desirable to screw an old man in diapers for a few bucks?"
*************************************************

Hilarious!!

Nice body. Rough face.

What the fuck?

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 4:58pm.
Hmmm, I kind of want to see that issue -- for the Nabokov article.

For real. I love Nabokov.

That, Robert Crumb, Rampage and sasha grey. I'm way interested in these articles too!
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Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 4:58pm.

Hahahaha! Are we the two people who read Playboy "for the articles?"

≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈
Winter Lady

One of the greatest stories I ever read was about a writer who had a short story rejected by Playboy because in the story the woman was shown to be the equal of the man. He was told that the story was great and they would have printed it, but in Playboy even the strongest woman must be shown as weaker, less brave, less intelligent, and less capable than any random man.

Hmmm, I kind of want to see that issue -- for the Nabokov article.

For real. I love Nabokov.

She's hideous. Inside and out.

************
I like living this way. I like loving this way.

It's the arms that make it look weird. And those hideous boots. Otherwise I get that they were going for the little dog tugging at the girls bikini look.

I think she's a riot, but I'm disappointed she didn't tell that disgusting, old corpse Hugh to go fu** himself?

It's not that I have a problem with nudity or beautiful women or sexuality, but Playboy has nothing to do with any of it; it's for adolescent losers that can't get real women.....all the women in it are encouraged to be mentally incapacitated,mutilated and plastic and it's all to make a disgusting old corpse rich.

"Girls" next door? How about retarded corpse fuckers next door? When did it become desirable to screw an old man in diapers for a few bucks? What's wrong with people? They are losers and I thought Chelsea was above it. We all know she's airbrushed, just like EVERYONE ELSE IS IN THE MAGAZINE AND ENTERTAINMENT. So what, SELL OUT!!!!

She has a really strange body: no ass, the shoulders of a linebacker, and a middle that looks like taffy (a`la Claire Danes).
**********
"All of us are lying in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."-Oscar Wilde

I like Chelsea and sometimes watch her show.

Who was the "stylist" for this cover?

I think I hear Holly snickering in the corner.

In any event, she has a decent body, but this cover looks nothing like her in a bikini, I would reckon.

They need to add some rump since everything else is not hers either on that cover, WTF? Why even pose if she isnt showing she pussy/tits? She's starting to get on my nerves, I liked her when she was a nobody and just starting out, and now that she's a billionaire and fuckign the main man at E she totally changed, Im disliking her big time.

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 10/29/2009 - 4:21pm.

nah. she looks old. she's a jersey 6.

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Man-face. And someone else's body.

Where's Provy? This totally looks like his dream gurl.

♥ Threadkilla!
Wow. Are you guys all on the SAME TEAM!?

Who the hell is this? She's got a case of manly face.

______________________________________

"You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?"

Ick face. Flat/no ass. The angles can't disguise those love child of Dynasty shoulder pads and a roided out linebacker shoulders she's packing.

-------------------------------------------------
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?

She's a regular Dorothy Parker:

Chelsea Handler talked to Jay Leno about preparing for her December Playboy cover shoot.

First, Jay wanted to know if her dad was gonna like it. "My dad is gonna love it because he thinks I'm very sexual," says Handler. "Seems almost creepy," Leno replied.

"I quit drinking for like a day and a half," she admits about her prep work. "I'm not good at that kind of stuff."

Told by Jay that they were going to show her the cover for the first time, Chelsea declined, saying she doesn't want to see it for the first time on the show.

"You are too used to getting what you want," Jay tells her. "What you need is a guy to say no."

"Oh, really, oh, really, is that what I need?" Chelsea fires back. "Now everyone is finally starting to realize that you're exactly like David Letterman!" (The Dish Rag, LA Times)

She's always just been so unattractive and equally unfunny to me. All that photoshop and they still couldn't give her some ass?!

This issue might be worth buying just for the R. Crumb teaser.

≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈
Winter Lady