Here's What $300,000 Bought Hello! Magazine
Yesterday, my ass posted a little story about how Jude Law's one-night-fuck turned baby mama, Samantha Burke, sold the first pictures of her baby for $300k to Hello! Magazine. Well, here's the cover of Hello! starring (warning: clear your throat before you read this) 24-year-old Samantha and her adorable bag of money. In the issue, Samantha tells her "amazing story." I'll save your eyeballs the trouble and give you the Cliffs Notes version.
Basically, Samantha rode on Jude Law's raw peenus and one of his jizz fishies fed itself to her lady egg thus creating a fetus! Then Samantha pushed out her baby girl, slapped a price tag on her ass and sold her off to a magazine. The End. You're totally amazed, right?
And Baby Sophia needs a DRANK! Homegirl looks like she'd rather be watching Sky Captain on a loop than pose for the cover of a magazine. But at least we got to see that Sophia inherited her daddy's hairline (or lack thereof).
VIA Daily Mail
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that kid ain't cute at all. the mother looks like she's 35+. Jude Law needs to get a vasectomy & a DNA test.
It's about time the argumentum ad hominem came out.
Is Godwin's Law in the offing? Otherwise, I have muffins to stuff.
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Bottom-feeder.
You're an asshole. An asshole who is sorely lacking in the brains department. Have fun arguing with yourself.
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I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
I might add BB that you need'nt worry that my proposed law will become a reality.A casual glance at our legal system shows that HALF OF ALL LAWYERS ARE WOMEN...and the THE FAMILY COURT INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX IS A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS.They get off on your drama & misery as much as you do.My proposed law would seriously streamline this bullshit to deal with those who chose to marry.As it should be.
Submitted by Basement Baby on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:28am.
When female targeted birth control is used 100% properly...it is 100% effective.Yes condoms occasionally fail.Since we all know this,and the intent of using a condom is FOR RECREATIONAL SEX THAT AVOIDS PREGNANCY...do you not see that the primary responsibility for avoiding pregnancy belongs to the party that can actually have the baby!?! (FEMALES) Sleep on it kid.You know I'm right.
Dr Funk
I have no desire to argue with your twisted logic. It seems to me that it takes TWO people to make a baby. A man has a simple BIRTH CONTROL OPTION of a vasectomy or a FUCKING CONDOM if he doesn't want to knock the woman up. If he doesn't give a shit, and he doesn't wrap it up, he has made a conscious decision that whatever happens, happens. And as an adult, he needs to accept the reality of that.
What if a woman gets pregnant ON BIRTH CONTROL and doesn't want marriage or an abortion? You are just a moron. Think your stupid little proposal out a little bit more.
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I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
Submitted by Basement Baby on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:03am.
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BB-when come down from your 'roid rage there you will see that my proposed law is forward thinking & actually PRO-FEMALE.Women have many more options for birth control than men.I might add that we don't do women or children any favors by condoning the current state of lazy deceitful behavior that triggers chix like this Burke broad to to do this.Nevermind the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS who do this without a big payday lined up.The family courts are PILED HIGH with this bullshit.As if it it's almost a normal part of the child rearing process.It's insanity.My proposed law would force women to actually think about sex in a more practical/RECREATIONAL way.
Submitted by devilgirl on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:16am.
Uhh, I'm not the one saying any woman who has a baby out of wedlock should be denied child support.
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I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
Submitted by Basement Baby on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:03am.
Submitted by DR.FUNK on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:01am.
The law should read that women CANNOT collect child support if they breed out of wedlock.Such a law would be pro-family...pro-family planning...and would eliminate most of this lazy deceitful behavior.
Go dive throat-deep onto Rush Limbaugh's dick, you stupid piece of trash.
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WHOA! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the cot in the basement this morning!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
No, I am childless and loving it. You just struck me as a total fucking dumbass, that's all.
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I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
Submitted by Basement Baby on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:03am.
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Wow BB...did I strike a nerve? Are you a baby momma collecting checks?
Hey Dr. Funk
How about guys keep their fucking dicks in their pants, or, OMFG, PUT A CONDOM ON! Then they wouldn't even have to worry about paying the consequences for their indiscretions! There's a groundbreaking idea!
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I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 9:51am.
Submitted by DR.FUNK: "The law should read that women CANNOT collect child support if they breed out of wedlock."
As a woman, I'll gladly agree to that law IF:
Abortion is free, legal and safe. And birth control is taught starting in 6th grade. And birth control is free and available to everyone.
Deal?
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DEAL.Your conditions are pretty much the case ( for the most part) now.In no way do I want to curtail a womans reproductive rights.If anything -my proposed law would force women to exercise them more responsibly.Hopefully before they get to the point where they would need to consider abortion.(which should always be legal & available) Clearly we agree Hekki.It's the rest of your lazy,deceitful sisterhood-LIKE THIS SAMANTHA BURKE BROAD-I speak of.There's more of them out there than there are of you.
Submitted by DR.FUNK on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 10:01am.
The law should read that women CANNOT collect child support if they breed out of wedlock.Such a law would be pro-family...pro-family planning...and would eliminate most of this lazy deceitful behavior.
Go dive throat-deep onto Rush Limbaugh's dick, you stupid piece of trash.
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I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
The law should read that women CANNOT collect child support if they breed out of wedlock.Such a law would be pro-family...pro-family planning...and would eliminate most of this lazy deceitful behavior.
A place someone who can treat you as a king or who can spoil you like a queen, this is the great place---Uniformedcupid.com ---!!!. It's dedicated for those military singles who are rich and successful to support and pamper military spouses who will treat you like a king and for women military admirers who are attractive and young to seek a generous benefactor to mentor and take care of you.
That is one lucky 38 year old stinkfish!
Who can turn the world on with her vile?
Who can take Jude Law for pay, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl(?), and you would blow it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living (it up)
It's time you let someone else do some giving
Cum is all around, no need to waste it
You can cut him down, why don't you cake it
You're gonna take it after all
You're gonna take it after all
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Nice one, Bellababy.
Famewhores. Hate 'em.
Jude, why do you keep on sharing your seeds to the world?
"Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth and the truth isn't want you want to see..." - the Phantom
she's ugly. if she can fuck him then SO CAN I. im way hotter than this ho.
24 in the last century maybe.
Poor baby doesn't stand much of a chance.
Submitted by pinkdoodoo2 on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 7:02pm.
If this bitch is 24 I must be seven and Im thirty years old! Look at my pic. Yup thats me!
Plus when your 24 and have babies, you bounce back from your post-pregnancy state quicker. If you look at how the fat is distributed in skin of her arms it definitely looks as if shes seing the darker side of 38 and Im being generous. Why oh why do women lie? her face is terribly wrinkled for 24 and since I hear theres little sunshine in London sun cant be her excuse. Somebody bust this trick out!
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She's not from England; she's from Florida. Other than that, I totally agree with your assessment. =)
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Twenty-four, my arse. I'm twenty-four, and I don't look quite that used yet.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
If this bitch is 24 I must be seven and Im thirty years old! Look at my pic. Yup thats me!
Plus when your 24 and have babies, you bounce back from your post-pregnancy state quicker. If you look at how the fat is distributed in skin of her arms it definitely looks as if shes seing the darker side of 38 and Im being generous. Why oh why do women lie? her face is terribly wrinkled for 24 and since I hear theres little sunshine in London sun cant be her excuse. Somebody bust this trick out!
Oh and that baby is all sort of fug. Poor thing! Lets hope it grows up and does good in the world.
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Go Lakers!!!
She looks like a 1950's housewife.
UGLY fuckin BABY even the fug GROSSLIN kids are hotter
THIS KID LOOKS LIKE A FUG
1. Am I the only one who thinks her hair looks like a cheesy wig?
2. Ho, I'm in my 30's and readily admit it. Who the hell you foolin'?
3. I used to LOVE Jude Law, but now????? MEH.
"Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? "
Anyone else notice the 'White Oprah' glint in Samantha's eyes?
broken condom baby clothing line and memoir
will be next projects
Well if Jude Law fucked THAT, there's hope for all of us
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Next time, dear God, please let it be us who gets to take Jude's load!
I'm 50 & I work w/lots of young men & wimminz in their 20s & I'll tell you this baby mama isn't a day younger than 35.
"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."
Jude must be SO proud at this moment.
I wonder if he's out having a scotch and cigar with his buddies over a shared HELLO! mag?
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
Someone cares.
she's 24? i don't believe that.
She says she thinks he is gonna make a wonderful father. Well, ok then.
This bitch is just 2 much!
They also say Jude is the true father of Kate Moss' baby. Sadie Frost, Jude Law, and Kate Moss would have three ways, and supposedly Kate got pregnant and it fucked everything up when she kept it. Jude Law has several illegitimates.
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I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
Here what is the amazing story to me:
This 38plus years scruff must have known that Judes peen was once housed in Sienna Millers ebolavirus churning twat and she still fucked him without use of a condom. Jude makes millions of buck a movie and obviously can't afford 20 bucks for a box of rubbers.
This baby doesn't stand a chance at a normal life
She looks 50.
Submitted by dementa on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 1:38pm.
The baby looks like she's screaming inside, "Help! Get me away from this grinning golddigging hag! She calls me 'the meal ticket'!"
And between her crazy eyes and big grin, you know that if Jude doesn't pony up she's going to stalk his ass. She'll go to press conferences and premieres and hold that baby up for the cameras. Maybe dope him up so she can get knocked up a second time.
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LOL! Crazy eyes, indeed. I didn't notice until you said that but look at them! They're not looking at the camera, or us, they're looking directly at Jude.
The baby looks like she's screaming inside, "Help! Get me away from this grinning golddigging hag! She calls me 'the meal ticket'!"
And between her crazy eyes and big grin, you know that if Jude doesn't pony up she's going to stalk his ass. She'll go to press conferences and premieres and hold that baby up for the cameras. Maybe dope him up so she can get knocked up a second time.
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.
People, PLEASE wait until your mini me's are showing signs of cuteness and facial definition before showing their picture to the world and expecting us to "awwww". I cannot stress this enough but most newborns, just like this one, are very ordinary and generic looking. I expected a LOT more out of Jude Law's jizz fishies. Fuck.
Jude Law and bastard chıldren ıs never news.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 11:55am.
I bet there's an epic bush on this bitch.
LMAO!
24...lol. It's pathetic when so-called stars shave years (or decades) off their ages, but a nobody like this doing it?! Was she afraid manslut Jude Law wouldn't f*ck her if she admitted she was in her 30's??!
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 12:49pm.
sushi
Probably the magazine knows that this is just the beginning of her taking Jude to the claners. This cow is here to get paid!!!! You watch, this shit is gonna get nasty if Jude doesn't pay up and also spend some time with the baby. This bitch has the crazy eyes fo sho!
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I agree. This bitch has the crazy in her eye$. Oh Jude, you're going to regret not wrapping it up, this crazy twat is going to ensure that!
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
Baby...bag of money...what's the difference?
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
Yeah, she's 24 in dog years. Or else she was ridden hard and put away wet a zillion times between ages 14-24. cough cough. I'm guessing 35.
And that baby looks like any other fuck trophy in the new born nursery. Nothing special, which is okay, but not worth what that rag magazine paid.
~Tiny Fists of Irken Fury!~
sushi
I am still perplexed as to why anyone gives a fuck about what a newborn baby looks like just because of celebrity DNA
Probably the magazine knows that this is just the beginning of her taking Jude to the claners. This cow is here to get paid!!!! You watch, this shit is gonna get nasty if Jude doesn't pay up and also spend some time with the baby. This bitch has the crazy eyes fo sho!
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!