Ali Lohan Will Be Fine
Lindsay Lohan tells Life & Style (via E! Online) not to worry about her 15-year-old sister partying in clubs and bars with her, because she totally can handle drunk bitches, people overdosing and skeezy old dudes flashing her on the dancefloor. Well, she is learning from the best.
The voice of reason said, "She's tougher than I am. She has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn't know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn't have a big sister." Blohan also added that Ali knows when to put down the Long Island Iced Tea to finish her homeschool work, "She's really good about that. If I'm going out late, she'll go home early."
I don't even know why Ali is bothering with homeschool. She's already learning the most important skills in life from hanging around her sister. I mean, don't you wish that at the age of 15 you learned how to pump a stomach with Alka-Seltzer pills and a cocktail straw? Or how to vomit perfectly into a bottle of beer without leaving a drop? I didn't learn those life skills until I was 18! AT LEAST! Ali is totally ahead of us all.
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What's worse is that Ali has way less talent. I mean, at least LiLo could spit out hackneyed adolescent phrases like she said them every day. Ali can't even do that.
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
Ali should not be in a bar, period. She should be in school. She confessed that she wants fame at least as much as LiLo. What a shame! Ali is basically doomed as is her sister. LiLo has the IQ of a gnat.
Yes, Ali has a mole problem and should have them removed. If she removes them, they cannot cause cancer. I am aghast that so many women have cosmetic surgery done yet do not have moles removed. It makes no sense! Oh, well!
If I recall, LiLo has a few moles that should be excised, too. Perhaps they're genital warts?
Submitted by Opsat1 on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 2:27pm.
Look at those moles everywhere. She's like a gender-specific piece of Cookie Crisp (cereal).
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Thank you.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
alright i'm too lazy to read through this as i am drinking and i'm sure it's been mentioned a billion times but WHERE THE FUCK IS THE ABC ?
Blohan also added that Ali knows when to put down the Long Island Iced Tea to finish her homeschool work,
And at what point exactly do you put down a Long Island Ice Tea to do homeschooling...drink only half to get a buzz...then do hooked on phonics?
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:49pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:44pm.
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:39pm.
ali lohan is looking nooooiccceeee!!!
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Seriously, she's making 3 to 5 look doable.
Gotta get these lohans young, that wall comes up on them pretty quickly
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What a coincidence, so would I!!
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Harsh, dudes!
*stifled giggles*
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.
When these girls are 50, will they look 15?
Enquiring minds want to know...
"I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.."
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:49pm.
Gotta get these lohans young, that wall comes up on them pretty quickly
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What a coincidence, so would I!!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:44pm.
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:39pm.
ali lohan is looking nooooiccceeee!!!
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Seriously, she's making 3 to 5 look doable.
Gotta get these lohans young, that wall comes up on them pretty quickly
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:44pm.
Become a truck driver and you'll get away with it free and clear.
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Dear God
And I didn't get the White Oprah thing until now. Dina Lohan, right?
Submitted by Provolone on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:39pm.
ali lohan is looking nooooiccceeee!!!
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Seriously, she's making 3 to 5 look doable.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
One more thing: a 15-year-old out in a night club? Suddenly Megan Fox is looking better by comparison (judged by her recent make-up scenario with Michael Bay at the Scream Awards this past weekend). The Apocalypse is among us, and its name is Disney Channel stars and starfuckers.
It's a crystal meth before and after pic.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
ali lohan is looking nooooiccceeee!!!
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Can she drop dead please? I loved this girl, but aye-yi-yi, she's beating Miley Cyrus almost in media whore mongering race. I'd TRULY love to meet the people who enjoy and push stories like this, the "Twilight" stars (yep, they're having little kids turn into gossip-loving douchebags, the Gosselins, Octomom, the Kardashians, the morons on "The Hills" (at least the ones with the plastic surgery done to them), the Cyrus family, the Jonas Brothers, and all these fame whores down our throat on a day-to-day basis. This is a slap in the face at those who have serious problems.
Please -- just like White Oprah makes constant excuses for, and defends Lindsay to the point that it is hurting her, Lindsay is now treating Ali the exact same way -- meaning this is going to end up a disaster as well.
And what did Lindsay do to her cheeks? Looks like she got implants -- NOT a good look whatsoever.
Submitted by BritsBaldHead on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 3:05pm.
Ali goes home early? In her world this probably means 3am instead of 4am.
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Give Ms Lohan a break! I'm sure she's home by 12! And i'm sure she has a DD for when she is drunk and high! =P
I'll never understand why parents that let kids do this in HOllywood aren't arrested. It's obvious this bitch has let both daughters do this for years (when lindsay was a teen too underage i mean she let her). Even though LIndsay is what......20 something now.....god, i can't remember how old she is at the moment.....anyway, i don't blame her. Look at her mom. Once i learned what kind of mom she had....I can't blame her for anything she does. I know she is an adult now, but the girl has no one to teach her right. If she is 50 still acting this way, maybe then.....but she hasn't had any time at this point to learn what is right and wrong so, I just feel bad for her.
I don't know why she is bothering with " school" either. Well, I dunno what the age is to quit school there, here it used to be like 16.....maybe it's 16 there and so at 16 she will quit, or "quit". Who knows.... Im sure that the girl is sure she is going to be in entertainment and white oprah is sure of that too. I'm sure she and her mom thinks there is no point in school.
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I kinda feel wrong when I look at Ali Lohan.
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"I can resist everything but temptation"
White Oprah should be locked up for letting her 15 year old daughter party at clubs.
I think it's amazing that a 15 year old girl is already learning how to be a slut, an alchoholic and a coke-whore. I can only imagine the conversations she has inside the club with the twenty-somethings. "Like oh my God, I, like totally, like bought some like new white Gucci's today with Linds and like I had my period in them and like, they're ruined...like".
Ali goes home early? In her world this probably means 3am instead of 4am.
Between being home schooled by her mother and using Lindsay as a role model--what on earth could go wrong with that? (Pause for triple eye role...)
She knows when to put down the Long Island Iced Tea???? She's only 15 - she shouldn't even be picking one up!!! Ridiculous.
I don't know if she will be OK. I'm only a fan of dermatology, and not an actual dermatologist, but she looks awfully moley. Look at those moles everywhere. She's like a gender-specific piece of Cookie Crisp (cereal).
Mommy should have taken more time to show her how to apply sunblock.
People go out to get drunk and hook up. Why does Lindsay want her little sister hanging on her at these parties? Makes no sense to me.
Why, oh why isn't Child Services or whatever child welfare organization there is in Long Island not permanantly parked in front of the Lohan Mcmansion? Why isn't anyone trying to help this kid (and I mean Ali)?
Come at me bitch!
these two is like staring at dry poop. ew
Coma Caca!!
Dakota Fanning's parents need to kidnap Ali Lohan STAT!
I think as a 15 year old I would love to follow around Blohan as a role model because being bad and allowed to party with her would be such a novelty. Hell, Ali is learning how to do a line correctly instead of Woody Allening it all over the place. Those type of skills are really priceless as an 18 year old party grrl!
"Is lame fish related to Gay Fish at all, because that would answer many of life's greatest douche mysteries." - MK
Miss Priss! Hi Hor, I miss you lovechop!
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Now I must say more than ever things 'round here have changed, and I say Too Rah Loo Rah Too Rah Loo Rah Yaaaay. I could hum this tune forever.
for such a young girl she looks so hardened. i also neve heard of a club that allowed 15 year olds in.
Ali doesn't go to skool. Come on, she's an up and coming "famous actor", pffft, no time to learn!
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 12:42pm.
She'll be found in a gutter just like her sister.
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One can only hope.
She'll be found in a gutter just like her sister.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I see lilo's alcholism bloated face and I hear the words "Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?"
Ali--mallrat, yawn.
Wouldn't it be a trip if Ali became famous and was all responsible while Lilo stayed a trainwreck?
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"The world needs a clothing line for Barstow pussy peddlers turned Reno strippers turned Texas trophy wives turned Boca retirees." Michael K.
HI Bradiful!!! MUAH!
I've been gone too long! Life was kicking my ass for a while there. I guess it has decided to take a break, thank goodness! ;0)
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I got nuthin'
MISS PRISS!!!!
I was BAWKING about where you been yesterday!!!
On T: *humming "Meet Me In The Ladies Room"* That's how they roll yo'.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Awww Snowie~ Mah luvs! I've missed all of yous! LOL
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I got nuthin'
I guess it really is The Curious Case of Ali Lohan. She looks younger every time I see her!
♥♥♥MISS PRISS♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
Ali Lohan is homeschooled? Please tell me that her crackhead bitch of a mother isn't the one who's teaching her. Oy! If she is I guess that means she can probably spell her name but that's about it.
*waving*
hey y'all~
hey look!! it's the 15 year old cougar and her crack head sister! that has FINE written all over it!
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I got nuthin'
BAWK BAWK!
SKRAG HEND HATERZ ALL OF YOU!!!!
YOU WISH YOUR GUSTY GUNTS COULD BE AS GLAMOROUS AS ALI AND HER MAMMA LINDSEY! LINDSEY IS JUST TEACHING HER DAUGHTER HOW TO BE AN ELEGANT LADY!!!!
BAWK BAWK!!!
*Ima jonesing for a HEND fight, praying for a JEN post*
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
That's the only flattering photo of Ali I've seen so far, nosejob?
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum..