Tuesday, October 20th 2009

The Auction Of The Century!

This week, I won't be spending any money on booze, Twinkies, porn, "massages," anal bleaching, bikini waxes or the good shit (I don't mean that last one). That's because I will need all the coins I get my hands on to spend on the most important auction of ALL auctions! This auction is so important that it even has its own trailer!

The Empress of Lucite has announced that she is giving the world another amazing gift by letting us peons bid on her personal works of art. The auction, which will be held on the ultra-exclusive website known as eBay, will start on October 23rd. The items will include bikinis, pairs of pantyhose, posters and LUCITE HEEEEEEEEELS! Yes, exquisite lucite heels that touched her royal feet. My tinsel Christmas tree will look beyond elegant with a pair of an angel's lucite heels sitting on top.

This is our chance to own a piece of history (along with a few hard-to-get STDs). If I can't pay rent this month, I will tell my landlord that GOD himself (aka The Empress of Lucite's baby voice) ordered to me to spend every last cent on Shauna's masterpieces. If he tries to evict me, I will sue him for religious discrimination. Or something.

VIA Heyman Hustle (Thanks Livia)

Posted by: Michael K


futuremexican's picture

Weird. I pictured this nasty broad having a British accent or something. She sounds like Paris Hilton.

huangzhixian78's picture

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Mick's picture

I've been reading some of the other comments and I am SHOCKED! SHOCKED that people would make fun of Shauna and begrudge her the opportunity to make a little cash by selling off some of her "stuff" (love the way the girl talks!) to her 15,768,198 fans who will bombard Ebay with bids and probably shut it down for the day. I mean, this is pure elegance we're talkin about here, peeps! Well...it's plain to see you're all jealous of her, but Shauna will have the final laugh when she makes enough money off this auction to give the US Treasury a loan. You all just wait & see. Shauna will come out on top. (NO pun intended). What a girl! (well, okay, she's no girl, but she used to be many years ago)...

================================================
"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"

Mick's picture

Ya'll dont EVEN bother bidding on the Godesses heels, cuz I'm gonna get them! Imagine, having a pair of shoes worn by the Queen of the Universe! (sorry, TommyGirl, it ain't you I'm talkin about). This will be the auction of the century.

================================================
"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"

little_rascal's picture

I wonder if she's made the porno tape and selling her crap because she is 38 and her clock is ticking loudly and she desperately needs $$$ for more plastic surgery and to support her gigolo boy-toy.

mcnightmare's picture

wow. that LIP. her right shoulder is several inches higher than her left and she keeps wriggling.....

she really turns me on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
satan in a sunday hat, girl.

NoAnjl's picture

ROFLMAO!!! What a tool!!!! Love the way her top lip doesn't even move. Effin bimbo.

Louiselouise's picture

I had NO idea who this woman was til recently.

Walking around with her kids in those stripper heels.. how humiliating must it be for them?! Either she's figured ANY notoriety is better than nothing and is actually quite smart, or she's clueless and has no idea how the rest of the planet perceives her.

The fake bambi eyes and robotron girly voice to camera make my skin crawl, urgh..

Mums don't have to be totally buttoned-up prudish human beings, but for goodness sake, keep it for the right time, right place!

Had a peek at her ebay shop, tumbleweed so far.. Funny they spell out step-by-step how to find it. Perhaps her intended audience is expected to be as retarded as her.

Dgrin's picture

did Britney dub her speech??!!

MizRo's picture

I saw her ex-hub and the father of her 3 girls on Chelsea Lately - Lorenzo Lamas looks good and he never mentioned her name though he said his 3 girls were watching the show.

I can't stand this "woman" - desperation makes me queasy.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by justice on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 8:45am.

not that I know of... My bitch-of-an-ex-wife kept my damn name..... And I paid her handsomely to do so. *mumbles quietly*
_____________________________________________
And your friend.... your friend tried to make it with that cow... I wanna party with you cowboy.

justice's picture

As an ex-husband, ts there not a way to legally take your family name away from your ex-wife?????

The moment you jump on another peen (let alone in a porno tape) the name should should return to default.

--thanks awfully--

poshjosh's picture

Now only if Coco would sell her Ice-T cum crusted panties it would be a duality of perfection.

MtlMama's picture

It makes me giggle when women confuse the "sexy face" look with "retard face". Look at her! She looks a few sandwiches short of a picnic!

That aside, I say we start up a collection to buy mk her lucite heels.

=-=-="Wah wah wah, I was attacked!"=-=-=-

Terrianne's picture

The way she is talking is reminding me of when Deb was trying to sell Napoleon Dynamite a bunch of crap for college.

rinaz's picture

I'm actually surprised at how sweet her voice sounds. It just belies her ... visage.

KT's picture

it does look stupid and i do agree with you.. i don't even know how old she is but i'm sure she's over 30! the tacky stripper heels and her nasty boobs being out all the time is just gross. if she had kids or not, i would still think its gross. its just about having class. you want to wear that crap in your house? fine, but in public its nasty!

in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! and support animal shelters<3

Khensu Hetep's picture

Yeah, there's a place and time to look like that, and that time was 13 years ago, in a photoshoot, and that place is NOT everywhere.

I don't care how hot your body is or how pretty you are, whenever you're over 30 years old and composing yourself as a sorority girl on the rebound, it looks stupid.

I know people are going to disagree with me, but this is only how chicks dress if they're EASY. It looks cheap, forced, and NOT sexy.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...

KT's picture

you aren't kidding! i mean if you want to walk around looking like a tacky idiot then good for you.. but she has 2 young GIRLS. i would be so humilated (too lazy to spell check that) if my mother walked around like that. that's just foul and embarrassing for the kids!

in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! and support animal shelters<3

Khensu Hetep's picture

Submitted by KT on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 3:08am.

She's totally been living in 1996 ever since. Kind of pathetic.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...

KT's picture

playmate 1996.. yeah meaning what has she done in over 10 years? (other than a ton of men) and ROFL @ 'international star' ahahahahaha

in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! and support animal shelters<3

Khensu Hetep's picture

Mmm, crotch rotted bikini bottoms. Essence de yeast infection.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...

snaphappy's picture

Gf needs to raise some coin for the important things in life, like siccing a lawyer onto Vivid Entertainment and getting the goo transferred from her lips to that underinflated right tittay.

boredasfuckyo's picture

Uhhh.... I don't care who it is. Used pantyhose are just disgusting...-_-
___________________________________
Please get the fuck out ---->

Kuh-REEEEEPY....she makes megan fox look like
a rocket scientist

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

OHPLEAZ's picture

Did someone forget to put on their top? This girl has no class! Seriously, international star??? WTF?

Rosemary's picture

wow, I was thinking of picking up some of the MAC holiday collection but I think i'll get this instead.

Mrs. Voorhees's picture

I'm a 10/21 Birthday Slut, and I want/deserve all this $hit.

Khensu Hetep's picture

Oh, fuck her lucite heels.

I really do like her black platforms.
I have trashy taste in shoes, so whatever.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...

shandiRW's picture

i dun have the strength to watch the trailer, but MK your giving up the porn?! well the good shit makes up for that.

***********************************
"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho

"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK

One-trick Pony's picture

Wow. She truly has ZERO personality. I watched the trailer for her "totally unauthorized sex tape"/highly stylized porno, and I thought the blank stare and scripted moans were part of her sexy shtick. But now I realize she's just THAT fucking vapid.

HoityToity's picture

She is a fucking celebrity? Bitch, please! Go sell some sucky sucky on the street corner like you were born to do!

letinstar's picture

i'm checking under the cushions of my couch...we've all got to do our part to get shauna through these trying times...
_____________________________________________
A new kitty lapping up milk trumps old pussy coughing up hair balls any day.

DiamondDawg's picture

It's really dumb to plan an auction right around the same time as Barbra Streisand.

angel_i's picture

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 9:33pm.

Angle - I forgot about chola britney!! LOL

Thought it was lohan for a moment: http://www.dlisted.com/node/33832

Have you noticed mk took down the tags on the side?
*******************************

YES! I've already complained several times!!!

I NEED TAGS! BRING ME TAGS! FIX YOUR COLUMNS!

But nothing:(

♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.

peaches80's picture

SCARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! LOL!
SMOOCHES :P
___________________________________________________
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Gandhi
http://bit.ly/frenchbulldog ( is like meditation but cuter! )

angel_i's picture

@peaches: Boo! :)

♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.

Team Valtrex's picture

Arby's would give her 27 cents for those nasty meat flaps she's got.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

peaches80's picture

ANGEL !!!!!!!
TEEHEEE !
XOXOXOXOXXOXOX
SMOOCHES TO ANGEL
SCARY AVIE!

___________________________________________________
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Gandhi
http://bit.ly/frenchbulldog ( is like meditation but cuter! )

BellaDittman's picture

I want a pair of lucite heels plucked from the toes of the Lucite goddess . . . I find it funny there have been 501 views at her ebay site LOL . . .

angel_i's picture

Submitted by TITS on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 9:33pm.

Angle - I forgot about chola britney!! LOL

Thought it was lohan for a moment: http://www.dlisted.com/node/33832
*************************************

Yeah, she totally got jellus cuz I slapped these fangs on Britney last year. She's such a copycrackie.

♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.

Thamar's picture

Note to Shauna:

Understood you have daughters to support, but not this shit!!! Give the little one's a break in life. Selling your dirty underwear on ebay?

Think about them, what will they do for a living? Are they getting an education? Are they learning any history, languages, how to write?

Or just how to dress and operate like you do?

The great courtesans of the past banked their money and helped their children to a better life.

TITS's picture

Angle - I forgot about chola britney!! LOL

Thought it was lohan for a moment: http://www.dlisted.com/node/33832

Have you noticed mk took down the tags on the side? boo hiss! As compensation, his links are ... 'interesting'.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I bet if you threw a pie tin in the air and screamed Roswell!, his dumb ass would come running. ~ Ford Prefect

little_rascal's picture

@ angel_i
........................
I wasn't sure if it was chola Britney or chola Lindsay. Did you see that scary Lindsay in a pink fur coat photo that was posted in the afternoon? I thought maybe it was that.

JustJack's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 9:20pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 9:18pm

OMG, GODNEY CHOLA!!! Hahahahahahaha.

JustJack's picture

Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 8:58pm.
Submitted by JustJack on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 8:49pm.
Nothing says "I'm a broke ass bitch" like selling your lingerie on ebay. Priceless.

So true...so true, my tighty whities are going to fetch some big bucks on e bay *tries to bleach out skid marks*

Because you are an "international star"
I just hope there is enough for everyone.

The Shiznack's picture

Q. Do I get a free 'Shauna Sand Sex Ed' dvd with my purchase?

angel_i's picture

Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 9:18pm.

@ angel_i
.................
Angel, who is that hideous chola in your avie? Is it Britney?

***********************************

What hideous chola!?

THIS is gorgeous, vampire GODNEY chola, dontcha know?

♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"Watch your language, moron!" ~ Homer Simpson.

little_rascal's picture

@ angel_i
.................
Angel, who is that hideous chola in your avie? Is it Britney?

TITS's picture

I bet she wears bikinis like that around the house. I'd like to see her fry bacon.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I bet if you threw a pie tin in the air and screamed Roswell!, his dumb ass would come running. ~ Ford Prefect