Wonky Loves Seafood

This is almost easier than Paris Hilton herself! A million crab jokes just landed on my tongue. Imma put some RID on it later.

So, Page Six says that the producers of the movie "The Other Guys" (starring Marky Mark & Will Ferrell) were not amused when Wonky's people handed them a rider with all her demands. Wonky was only scheduled to shoot for one day, but she still requested all sorts of fancy ass shit. A source said, "Paris has a cameo role in the movie, where she plays herself. It is all being kept very hush-hush. But the producers were shocked when her team handed them a three-page list of demands -- including live lobsters to be prepared fresh when she's ready to eat and a bottle of Grey Goose vodka -- all for just one day on the set. All celebrities are typically offered riders, but it seemed excessive for just one day's work playing herself. She was due to fly to New York to film in secret last week." Wonky's spokeswhore says this story is made of lives, but I'm going to choose to believe it. I mean.....

LIVE LOBSTERS!!! Aren't you sort of mad that Wonky stole the punchline to that joke? But seriously, those lobsters weren't for her. Obviously, her coochie crabs must be more gangsta than we thought. Those bitches eat live lobsters! Wonky's crotch crustaceans are cannibals! We're seriously doomed.

Image by 14 of Gallery of the Absurd

Posted by: Michael K

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Paris Hilton

Submitted by HotParisHilton on Tue, 10/27/2009 - 4:23pm.

10 top reasons I love this women..

1. She is always well matched and stylish and adorable. wears the cutest things ive ever seen!

2.Is loving sweet and has a very caring heart. REGARDLESS of what you people say.. its the truth! She isn’t perfect we all make mistakes she’s human just like the rest of us.

3. she has a cheerful personailty and is confident with herself and has a free spirt.. i love this girl!

4. She has the luckiest animals and she spoils them and loves on them alot when she is home and when she takes them with her. I love animals

5. She will make a wonderful mom she is very nursering and loving and they will top suri curise on luckist baby celebs. Harlow was so cute her daughter is going to be cuter since they got 2 hot parents Doug is gorgeous so is PARIS!

6.She spends time to take pictures and sign autographs and is very sweet to her fans.. Even she writes thankyous!

7. She has a great sense of humor on simple life and BFF

8. SHE does charities for kids she went to africia to help children in need and has visit kids in the hospital and donated a kind amount to the childrens hospital LOOK IT UP BEFORE YOU ARGURE! She has a beauitful heart when it comes to children.

9 AMAZINNN STYLE N FASHION! love that the most Lol

10. She is a incrediably strong person all that she been through she still able to push herself through and stay happy and confident through the good times while most people have trouble moving on.

I love you PARIS!! dont let the spineless people bring u down rock it girl.

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Fri, 10/23/2009 - 8:16pm.

Will Ferrell is D list to me, not funny.

BUT Wahlberg's cred just went down a few notches having that twat in his movie.

Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 11:13am.

Anybody that hires this spoiled, narcissistic cunt for ANYTHING deserves any bratty shit she tries to pull.

I'll bet Wonky had to pay them for the cameo.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Póg mo Thóin >:)

Submitted by Vermithrax on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 2:12am.

Troll skank. Big life change there, Paris. Nicely done.

Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 1:12am.

LOfuckingL at Wonky's gangsta ass crotch critters c-walkin' down Ventura Blvd.

☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻•☻
Now I must say more than ever things 'round here have changed, and I say Too Rah Loo Rah Too Rah Loo Rah Yaaaay. I could hum this tune forever.

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 8:38pm.

Sweet Pissing Jesus...Wonky should be fed to the "Gargons" (aka giant lobsters) in the 1957 classic "Teenagers From Outer Space". Can this useless twatpot of extreaneous riches be deceased asap and spare the rest of us from her diseased existence?

"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"

Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 8:01pm.

Um, eeeeeeeeeeeew!

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"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." ~ Oscar Wilde

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:41pm.

Submitted by PeachPie on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:28pm.
Oh hell, of course her people are denying it. It's a lie.

She wants crabs, not lobster, cause she wants a party in her pants. Duh.

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but the ones with coke and crabs in them? They're not her pants...Don't think she didn't learn a thing or two from Snohan...We all have...

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Mittmah on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:40pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:24pm.

I think old Paris should get in the pot with the lobsters so that she can feel what it's like to be slowly boiled alive. As a child, I had a pet lobster called Laurence. It's a sore point.

TEAM LOBSTERS!!!!!
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Aww...you had a pet lobster! How nice! And I agree, put that bitch in a pot of boiling water.

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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location

Submitted by PeachPie on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:28pm.

Oh hell, of course her people are denying it. It's a lie.

She wants crabs, not lobster, cause she wants a party in her pants. Duh.

Submitted by gnarlyone on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:14pm.

she used to date a friend's roomate in prep school...till she got
excommunicated....the lobster of course

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/

Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:05pm.

I love this hilarious picture. I can't stop laughing. Especially the sad weeping crab! LMAO!!!

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:01pm.

Love 14's artwork.
Gallery of the Absurd is how I found Dlisted lo these many years ago.
Do not love Paris Hilton.

Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:57pm.

Grey Goose is swill
Chopin Vodka is the real deal

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:34pm.

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:25pm.

Agreed...don't complain about the monster you are helping to perpetuate..

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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009

For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:25pm.

these idiot producers deserve this skank's shenanigans by simply offering her a job in the first place...
____________________________________________
A new kitty lapping up milk trumps old pussy coughing up hair balls any day.

Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:20pm.

Live lobsters, live crabs, they all look the same inside Paris' very own Black Hole of Calcutta.
___________________________________________
The purpose of existence is to maintain its purposelessness.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:20pm.

Submitted by TITS on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:00pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:24pm.

I think old Paris should get in the pot with the lobsters so that she can feel what it's like to be slowly boiled alive. As a child, I had a pet lobster called Laurence. It's a sore point.
*

Laurence.... as in FISHBURN?

how... deliciously .. ironic.

*simmers butter*
*ties bib*
**********
Laurence was old and moody and stringy. Paris' crabs have more get up and go then poor old Laurence had. LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

************
Martin Léon

Submitted by Rocket on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:15pm.

Serves those fuckers right for hiring this no-talent over-exposed twat in the first place.

This rendition of her is the best ever!

Submitted by aliana.lohan on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:15pm.

what is she trying to pull? i don't think she eats anything, not even cum...

that picture is so dead on, on so many levels

Submitted by TITS on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:09pm.

Anyone know if she got that pet pig?

Bacon wrapped lobster - yum-mee

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I bet if you threw a pie tin in the air and screamed Roswell!, his dumb ass would come running. ~ Ford Prefect

Submitted by TITS on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:00pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:24pm.

I think old Paris should get in the pot with the lobsters so that she can feel what it's like to be slowly boiled alive. As a child, I had a pet lobster called Laurence. It's a sore point.
*

Laurence.... as in FISHBURN?

how... deliciously .. ironic.

*simmers butter*
*ties bib*

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I bet if you threw a pie tin in the air and screamed Roswell!, his dumb ass would come running. ~ Ford Prefect

Submitted by Snarkley on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 5:40pm.

Why would anybody cater to anything this stupid skank wants when the fact is that her just being in the movie is going to be box offfice poison anyway?

Submitted by Whatever on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 5:22pm.

Why would they want parasite in the film? Of course she asked for that shit. She has been brought up her whole life with people waiting on her hand and big ass feet.

Submitted by Michael_is_the_SHIT on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 5:22pm.

THIS STORY IS HILARIOUS. STUPID ASS TRICK. PROBABLY WANTED LIVE LOBSTERS TO HAVE A PLAY DATE WITH HER BOTTOM FEEDERS.

Submitted by get serious on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 5:03pm.

I choose to believe this. She's such a stuck up entitled self centered piece of crap that demanding flower petals to walk on & holy water to drink (while being onset for only 1 day) seems to fit perfectly in character with what a loser seh is.

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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits

Submitted by sushi on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:57pm.

That is a hilarious image.

But why the fuck do they have to put her in any role?

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:44pm.

She doesn't seem like someone who'd eat whole lobster. It's a lot of messy work (she hates work) and it involves face-to-face grappling with your dinner. If the rider story is true, it's just a vanity clause that feeds her ego.

_________________
spring, sprang, sprung

Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:37pm.

GOTA is better than Bacon!!!!!!!!

Jermajesty's Secret Service

Submitted by Albatross on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:36pm.

OMG, that picture cracked my ass up!

**********
“Just once; I ended up fucking the waiter.” --Brian Kinney, when asked if he'd ever been on a date.

MY SONG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ANKxsSZRs

Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:36pm.

LOL @ snowie wif Bret Michaels. So Snowy - have the scabs fallen off his nose yet??

Fuck wrong thread. Stoner.

Submitted by ihyptg on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:28pm.

She should star in the adaptation of the book SILLY LITTLE RICH GIRL.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:24pm.

I think old Paris should get in the pot with the lobsters so that she can feel what it's like to be slowly boiled alive. As a child, I had a pet lobster called Laurence. It's a sore point.

TEAM LOBSTERS!!!!!

************
Martin Léon

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:21pm.

Snowie?? Is that bret Michaels in your picture???
with you??? WTH?? lol

....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:16pm.

Hi smurfy and drama!!!!!!!?

***************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"The Falcon and the Snowpiece?" Plecostomus

Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:15pm.

serves the producers well...
there's plenty of real actresses they could have hired for a cameo role, but they chose to consider this dumb, untalented wannabe. Putting this bitch in a movie is enough for me to not want to see it for free on TV...let alone for $12 at the movie theater. She is so hideous, she makes me cringe.

"There's fucking going on at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue" - Wanda Sykes

Submitted by AstridVivaSwag on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:13pm.

oooh Michael you know you're not right for this one!!! LOL...gangsta crabs. *I DIE*

www.vivaswag.com
www.thatssoswag.com

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:05pm.

All these demands for what? A cameo appearance? Get the fuck over yourself, twat! It isn't even like she got the starring role or anything vaguely important. She's a prop, for fuck's sake.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...

Submitted by Jeepster on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:05pm.

Gallery of the Absurd is the balls!! This is where I was turned-on to D-Listed, but I like to check in there just for the artistic updates. GOL's drawing of Paris are merciless and spot-on...bitch has the biggest hands and feet eva!!!! And who on her team of jackass handlers asked for live lobsters.....best punch line of the YEAR!!!! (so far)

"vaya con huevos mi amigos"

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:04pm.

The poor crab caught the Wonky from parasite!!! LMFAO!!!!

....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K

Submitted by GODNEY on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:04pm.

i would just love to leave a brown log of my shit on this hag-hound's tits

Lets talk about biology,
Make believe youre next to me,
Phonography, phonography,
Talk that sexy talk to me,
Better make sure that the line is clean,
Keep it confidential, you and me.
Phonography, phonography,
Dirty talking, call it phonography.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:03pm.

Hi, Smurf. A lot of things seem to have changed here -- saying "hi" being one of them.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:03pm.

Oh sweet Jesus. Why does she think that shit is ok?

UGH! DIE BITCH!

Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 4:00pm.

Submitted by shut the smurf up on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 3:53pm.
Gallery of the Absurd always capture the escence of Parasite.... LOL

Bwahaha, and she HATES that shit. Remember when her lawyer sent MK and 14 letters trying to get that picture with the crabs falling out of her cooch off their sites? I love MK for posting it again just to piss her off. Hi back, hooker.

Btw......why does anybody still hire this stupid ass cunt for ANYTHING other than a Valtrex commercial??

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 3:57pm.

I believe it. & I'm sure she'd waste most of it because she can. Disgusting, self important whore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."

Submitted by govt_cheese on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 3:57pm.

Why is PETA never all over her ass for animal cruelty? GOA is right about that - her crabs are sad and crying, for god's sake! (Also loving how GOA got the feet right on this mess.)

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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.