The Empress Of Lucite Continues To Fight The Fight!

The holy bible of sex tapes was supposed to be released to the world today, but it has been pushed back a week due to the Empress of Lucite claiming she never authorized its release. That means you get another full week of eyesight, because once you watch it, you will be blinded by the high-levels of elegance dripping out of her lucite flower. And really, you wouldn't need your eyeballs anymore anyway, because you will never ever witness anything so beautiful again. So it's best that your eyeballs go out with a BANG!

Anyway, TMZ says that Vivid Entertainment swears that Shauna Sand signed a release allowing the tape to see the light of day. However, Shauna is calling the pimps at Vivid of bunch of liars, because she says she never signed it. So Vivid is bringing in a handwriting expert to examine Shauna's signature and declare it authentic.

They shouldn't bring in a handwriting expert, they should bring in a scientist! The real Shauna Sand only signs her name in lucite and angel cum. And if the signature doesn't sparkle in the dark and cause a choir of angels to sing her name, then it's not real.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Rem Koolhaas on Mon, 10/26/2009 - 10:21am.

Girlfriend needs to clip off her clitoris with a pair of garden shears. Her kids need a mother, not a milf.

Submitted by misfitwendy on Tue, 10/20/2009 - 11:12pm.

i don't know how can you sign something if you are too freaking dumb to know how to read or write?

Submitted by Who Datt on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 7:31pm.

Nothing natural on Lady Lucite. Her tittays are so pneumatic that Richard Heene asked her if she could float his son over Colorado for him.

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 5:12pm.

This video tape looks airbrushed to hell and back, but it was meant to be kept private? Bullshit, unless she wants to four-knuckle shuffle to herself...which is also plausible.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...

Submitted by Datura on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 5:00pm.

Photoshop fail. I don't understand why airbrushers (and those photos--ugly as they are--are clearly airbrushed to hell) would go out of their way to accentuate the fakeness of her tits by giving her a nice shadow all the way around her implants.

Or maybe blokes just like the obvious saline funbags look, and I'm totally out of touch.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Submitted by GlitterKitty on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 2:41pm.

This is one of the most unsexy porn clips I have ever watched. It is as sexy as eating porridge.

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 1:10pm.

either shauna wants more money or this crap isn't generating enough buzz for the masses to want to see her in all her luciteness...
_____________________________________________
A new kitty lapping up milk trumps old pussy coughing up hair balls any day.

Submitted by Chirio on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 11:31am.

No thanks. I'm cool with my porn. saw Chelsey lately and she had Lorenzo Lamas and his daughter (the eldest) and he seems quite normal and I like him. hmmmm. He said he is taking care of the little ones and they wont be whored out in the show since they are too young. I believe him.

I believe Lorenzo Lamas.

Coma Caca!!

Submitted by not shocked on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 11:08am.

It doesn't seem like a home made sex tape from the trailer. Looks like they had profession production treatment and direction. It looks totally created for commercial release. Something about her staring at the camera gives me that feeling.

Submitted by Meeshie on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 10:46am.

I bet Shauna drags her loose snatch behind her in a little, red wagon.

Submitted by Few Words on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 10:17am.

Show & Tell will be popular for her kids at skool.

Submitted by freebird on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 10:12am.

Keep fighting the Vivid injustice Shana. We don't need to know where the Lucite has been.

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 10:09am.

I'm surprised anyone actually CARES enough about this thing to deem her sextape newsworthy.

I prefer more natural girls in my porn, like Sasha Grey or Charlotte Stokely. Wonky ass implants are a huge turnoff to me.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Don't be afraid. I'm right behind you. Using you as a shield."

Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 10:09am.

Submitted by mike on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:21am.

TMZ talked to one of her daughters one time and they said they'd never pose for Playboy and think she indicated she wished her mom would tone it down some. I bet before any school function they're all trying to hide the lucite heels.

Submitted by Kandykane on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:59am.

Regardless of implant size, lip size, the amount of make up this troll has trowelled on or PS wizardry, she/he is the epitome of UNSEXY.

"I told the troot, and I have fate the troot will prevail."

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:58am.

Submitted by SkyBitch on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:15am.
Her labia looks like a dead tangle of earthworms.
I wouldn't mind seeing his peen though...

She's had 3 kids, darnit! So when does your vid arrive?

_________________
spring, sprang, sprung

Submitted by aliana.lohan on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:57am.

Submitted by mike on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:21am.
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:03am.
Her daughters must be so proud.

Considering how composed her kids always seem, I'm guessing they're kind of oblivious to her ineptitude as a human. It's kinda sad, but a lot of kids realize at an early age that their parents are worthless, and that they themselves are going to have to act as the parent.

...

you're very right...
souls are ageless anyway...

Submitted by chewba on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:57am.

Submitted by SkyBitch on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:15am.

Her labia looks like a dead tangle of earthworms.

I wouldn't mind seeing his peen though...

------------

hahahhahaha! gross!

Submitted by Snoogle on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:52am.

Professional lighting - check
Professionally looking footage - check
Denial in full swing - check
Hold out for mo'money - Big Check

♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Submitted by mike on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:51am.

Submitted by Deb on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:03am.
Her daughters must be so proud.

Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:50am.

Submitted by aliana.lohan on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:15am.

i mean the lamas kid...
----------------------------

I don't think it's the Lamas kid who's dipping his schlong into a pool of acid in that vid. It's some other poor schlub - the one who's always carrying her handbag.

==================================

Bottom-feeder.

Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:49am.

MK forgot to add the tag "I can't with you." Shauna is gross.

Submitted by mary p on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:48am.

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______W e a l t h yD a t e r . C o m_____.
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I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .

Submitted by SkyBitch on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:45am.

Her labia looks like a dead tangle of earthworms.

I wouldn't mind seeing his peen though...

☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."

Submitted by aliana.lohan on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:45am.

Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:12am.
Submitted by aliana.lohan on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:07am.

i mean the lamas kid...

is he packing? does anyone know?

Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:45am.

Translation: the Vivid Entertainment check has not cleared yet.

The only reason for these celeb-sluts to videotape themselves getting their freak on is because ultimately they want everyone to see it. But who would want to see this fug slag naked AGAIN? they still haven't invented a pill strong enough to turn dicks hard at the sight of this trashy creature.

"There's fucking going on at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue" - Wanda Sykes

Submitted by OurMissC on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:44am.

That pic has obviously been photoshopped to death, but her face really looks good here.

"They've lost their equilibrium because they've lost their faith in love."

Submitted by david Letterman... on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:43am.

Her refund gap isn't as bad as most women with a wonky tit job.

Submitted by Plecostomus on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:42am.

Submitted by aliana.lohan on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:07am.
hmm i kind of want to see what his cock looks like
-------------------------

That's not Lady GaGa.

============================

Bottom-feeder.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:41am.

I think you folks are being way to hard on Shauna,she was very convincing in her last role as one of the whores in GTA-3. ************************************************************************************* He that maketh an ass of himself should not feel ill of those who ride him!

Submitted by Deb on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:39am.

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:07am.

I am hoping that the girls will rebel against their whore mother by going to college and leading good, non-pornish lives.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by aliana.lohan on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:37am.

hmm i kind of want to see what his cock looks like

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:37am.

Submitted by Deb on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:03am.
Her daughters must be so proud.

I was thinking the same thing - can you imagine what school is like for these kids, with their peers knowing about this? I really feel bad for them.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:36am.

Bitch can't write. She just drags her wrinkly pootie across the dotted line as her signature.

**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu

Submitted by Deb on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:33am.

Her daughters must be so proud.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by cuntygolightly on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:33am.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 8:54am.
Why pay for this video when you can just catch Shauna in an alley in Miami on any given day of the week?

...

that's probably where it was shot anyway

Submitted by ClooneyisMahBoo on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:31am.

4he should be sending these people a fruit basket for making her relevant for a few minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Shia LaBeouf and a gay-faced bobcat from the 1980s had a meth baby..... Stun. Ning.

Submitted by Tristram on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:30am.

*moving to Bhutan*

_________________
spring, sprang, sprung

Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:27am.

I'm sure she signed it too... in crayon.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:24am.

Why pay for this video when you can just catch Shauna in an alley in Miami on any given day of the week?

***************************************

http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:

xadesmultimedia@gmail.com

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 9:24am.

She should be happy to showcase her one true talent. ************************************************************************************* He that maketh an ass of himself should not feel ill of those who ride him!