Sheriff Obvious McDuh Declares That The Ballad Of Balloon Boy Was A Hoax
At a press conference in Fort Collins, CO today, Sheriff Jim Alderden announced that Richard Heene put together the Balloon Boy story as a publicity stunt to get his own reality show. In other oh-so-shocking news, Tommy Girl just farted out a cum bubble.
Sheriff Jim, who will be played in the Balloon Boy TV movie by Wilford Brimley, said that they expect to file several charges against Richard Heene and his wife. The charges will include conspiracy, calling in a fake emergency and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If they are found guilty of all charges, they could face up to six years in the clink and a fine of $500,000. Balloon Boy and his brother won't be shuffled off to prison since they are barely old enough to wipe their own asses, but Child Protective Services will investigate.
Sheriff Jim said this isn't so surprising since Richard and his wife met at acting school. Apparently, they spent the past 2 weeks putting together the fourth grade science project known as The Flight of Balloon Boy. The Sheriff also added that Richard Heene's "education level is only high school ... he may be nutty, but he's not a professor." DAMN! Richard Heene got Ziiiing-ed by Sheriff Jim.
The Sheriff should also file charges against Richard for wasting everyone's precious time! Seriously, most of us spent hours glued to the TV watching a stupid ass balloon. We could've spent our time doing more important things like licking hard peen, making a Kahlua and Mother's Cookies milkshake, shaving our pubic bush into the shape of a witch's hat or hiding in the bushes outside of Mah Boo Anderson Cooper's apartment building. GUILTY! Throw the Heenes into death row. And by "death row," I mean the guest room in the Gosselin's house where they will be forced to watch this video on a loop:
"Does this bra make me look BATSHIT FUCKING CRAZY?!" - Richard Heene
VIA Jezebel
ShareThis
You deserve a matchmaker to find love. At ___http://www.MilitaryFlirting.com__ your dedicated matchmaking online dating site for great dating services -- we believe that if you put yourself out there,
you'll meet singles you're looking for -- single men, single women, local singles, even a love match.
By taking a personal approach to personal ads, you can find a date and find singles for Military dating, Jewish dating, black dating, gay dating, or senior dating. With our matchmaking capabilities, you can find that unique person who gets what you're all about, quirks and all.
That person who says what you were about to say, who isn't mortified when you make a social blunder, whose scent you'd liketo bottle, and whose smile you'd like to wake up to every day. That's why we give you an audience filled with local singles, the tools to find and meet single women and single men,
and lots of features that help you find your love match. With Personals as your matchmaker, you can find the kind of first date that lead to second dates and beyond.
You still might meet the love of your life at a coffeehouse or gas station. But with __http://www.MilitaryFlirting.com__, instead of sitting around waiting for that to happen, you'll be getting dates from online dating and having a fabulous time.
i think little kids are more honest than adults. good on Falcon for ratting his parents out!a 6 year old does understand what a lie is.
faking a 9-1-1 call should be enough to put him away....hopefully
If they WEREN'T complete assholes, they could have had their little stunt - no harm, no foul. All they had to do was add a little more reality to their reality. FOR INSTANCE, as a mother I would have checked that house high and low before allowing myself to believe the boy was up in the balloon...if they played that out and copped to the fact that the boy was at home right away then they still would have had our attention and we, likely, would have never known the whole thing was a set-up. Dumbasses.
♥ Threadkilla!
"Dear old people who run the world:
My generation would like to break up with you" ~ Jason Chan.
"shaving our pubic bush into the shape of a witch's hat"
I seriously think this one will be with me for too long.
Latest from AP
Supposedly more than just Psycho Mom and Tin Foil Hat knew about this fuckery...
A snippet from the wire story
".. Robert Thomas of Denver claimed Heene had told him he was planning a media stunt to promote a proposed reality show. Thomas, a self-described researcher, sold his story to Gawker.com and provided the Web site with e-mail exchanges between him and Heene. Thomas said the show would feature Heene as a mad scientist who carries out various scientific experiments."This will be the most significant UFO-related news event to take place since the Roswell Crash of 1947, and the result will be a dramatic increase in local and national awareness about The Heene Family, our Reality Series, as well as the UFO Phenomenon in general," according to a copy of the show's proposal provided to the site by Thomas.Gawker.com editor-in-chief Gabriel Snyder confirmed the New York-based Web site paid Thomas, but declined to say how much for the story billed with the headline: "Exclusive: I Helped Richard Heene Plan a Balloon Hoax.""
We have lost our minds..
~Tiny Fists of Irken Fury!~
i happened to see the episode of wife swap that they were on, they claimed to be scientists.. i knew that was fishy. mostly, this story just makes me think, high school education+ 3 kids (Ewwwwww)+ american= desperate
ironically, either way (even if the story was true) the parents just look like asses.
********************************************
http://mitchmode.blogspot.com/
I would love to be Balloon Boy for Halloween. I'd drag around a flattened mylar balloon and carry my barf bowl with me to trick or treat.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Another set of parents using their children for publicity....I'll say it again, there oughtta be a law against this shit.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
Christmas is around the corner: And old customers can also enjoy the gifts sent by my company in a can also request to our company. Gifts lot,Buy more get the more。Only this site have this treatmentOur goal is "Best quality, Best reputation , Best services". Your satisfaction is our main pursue. You can find the best products from us, meeting your different needs.
http://www.icfshop.com
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s28 (JORDAN SHOES)
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s1 (ED HARDY)
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s11 (JEANS)
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s6 (TSHIRTS)
New to Hong Kong : Winter Dress
---**** NHL Jersey Woman $ 40 ---**** NFL Jersey $ 35 --**** NBA Jersey $ 34 ---**** MLB Jersey $ 35 ---**** Jordan Six Ring_m $36 ---**** Air Yeezy_m $ 45 ---**** T-Shirt_m $ 25 ---**** Jacket_m $ 36 ---**** Hoody_m $ 50 ---****Manicure Set $ 20
HOT SELL Product Brand is below: Nike Air Jordan(1-25)/Jordan Six Ring/Jordan Fusion/Nike Shox/Air Max/AF1/Dunk: $32 Polo/Ed Hardy/Lacoste/Ca/A&F ……T-shirt:Coach /Gucci/Lv/Ed Hardy/D&G/Fendi ……Handbag:$35 Christian Louboutin/Lv/Ed Hardy/Gucci/Coach/Lacoste/ Timbland……True Religion/Coogi/Evisu/Ed Hardy/Prada ……Jeans:$30 New era/Gucci/Ed hardy ……cap : $13 Okely/Coach/D&G/Fendi/Gucci/Armani …sunglass:$15Nike shoes: 32$, True Religion jeans:30$, Ed Hardy, t-shirts:12$, NFL Jersey:20$,Boots UGG:50$
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s65 (HANDBAGS)
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s2 (Air_max_man)
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s29 (Nike shox)
http://www.icfshop.com/productlist.asp?id=s6 (Polo tshirt)
Welcome to Shopping →→→ http://www.icfshop.com
I wish you a happy shopping
I found a great dating site________ R i c h K i s s i n g. C O M ________. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties. what's the most important is that you don't have to be a millionaire, but you can meet one. Charlie Sheen found his true love on that site in 2007.
Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 12:11am.
Submitted by gossipfan on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 8:38pm.
This crazy lyin' ass father, Richard, looks like the lead singer of A-ha, Morten Harket. Maybe they can get him to play the bastard in the cable movie.
-----------------------------------------------
Okay, that is the ultimate insult. The gloves are coming off! How dare you defile the perfection that is Morten Harket?! Morten is gorgeous, talented, and a nice guy. Heene looks like him the way Scott Peterson looks like Ben Affleck.
_________________________________________
Oh hell no. *pulls razor from hair and takes off jewelry to defend Morten Harket*
9-11 was a hoax! The media and the goverment are real slick.Is America really this stupid??
Dubbya Bush lied on TV everyday! Go arrest his ass!
I think this is going to be discussed for the next 50 years when people talk about the craziness that is celebrity culture during the turn of the 21st century.
Seriously, is someone going to murder their kids next time to get some airtime?
_________________________________________________
Wyle E
"If you don't have a full-time fuck partner, why not take a few part-time jobs to keep the genital area active in the community.""
No, really. I hate him more than I do the Grosselins.
------------------------------------------------
It's creamie, not prune!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQbwt-dicpo
Yeah, put this entier family UNDER the jail for pre-empting real television!
***************************************
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
The day this shit all happened, I had slept until 3pm and pretty much missed it all. Now I am really glad I did.
This guy should have his ass tied to 10.000 self-exploding balloons and get a ritual send-off for a nice trip over the Kalahari dessert, just for dragging his kids into his delusional scheme. "Balloon Boy" will probably never be able to shake his label, now that the whole world caught him lying on TV. I can only imagine how this kid must have felt under so much pressure. I would have vomited too.
I love the Heenes!
What's not to love? lol
LMAO @ Sheriff Obvious McDuh (no shit!!) and Pleco's new AV.
I love you, Pleco!! ;)
.___♥♥♥_____♥♥♥___♥♥♥
_♥█████♥_♥█████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
♥███████♥███████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
♥███████████████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
_♥█████████████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
___♥█████████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
_____♥█████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
_______♥█♥___♥▒♥
________♥_____♥
~♥•´`•♥~..~♥•´`•♥~..~♥•
Seeking your sexy partner ON ===SuGarBaByMeeT.CoM==
LMAO @ Sheriff Obvious McDuh . . .
This family really has had way too much air time already.
The Wife Swap thing should have been enough of a heads up - the guy went psycho on the Swap wife and threw milk over her.
Total fucktard.
really fucking glad the only videos i've ever put up involve a tiger in a dress and a possum.
ya ain't gots nothing on me! bwahahhaha
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I bet if you threw a pie tin in the air and screamed Roswell!, his dumb ass would come running. ~ Ford Prefect
Submitted by Violet on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 8:18pm.
I was wondering why he hasn't made porn. My guess is that Heene has a tiny peene.
----------------------------------------------
Don't you mean Heene has a teeny peene?
Submitted by gossipfan on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 8:38pm.
This crazy lyin' ass father, Richard, looks like the lead singer of A-ha, Morten Harket. Maybe they can get him to play the bastard in the cable movie.
-----------------------------------------------
Okay, that is the ultimate insult. The gloves are coming off! How dare you defile the perfection that is Morten Harket?! Morten is gorgeous, talented, and a nice guy. Heene looks like him the way Scott Peterson looks like Ben Affleck.
Submitted by Ford_Prefect on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 9:57pm.
I'm not buying psycho mom's bullshit broken English. She met Mr. Tin Foil Hat at an acting class for fuck's sake.
Key her car in the parking lot as see how much American English comes roaring out of her mouth.
Maybe she's abused, but I'm fairly sure the demure, little loutus blossom speak is a total con.
Couldn't agree more. Bitch probably really has a thick Jersey whore accent.
Bitch is not a victim.
----------------------------------------------------
My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
OFF TOPIC: Not to get too pissy but wtf happened to the sidebar links for this website?
I tried this website on IE and Firefox and same same. WFT? What happened to 'open post' and all that shit?
Is this the END of dlisted as we knew it?
I really felt like I was watching a mental patient in that Heene video MK posted.
Batshit crazy indeed.
We've all been rickrolled apparently.
Spencer Pratt has finally given his two cents:
http://twitter.com/spencerpratt/status/4974720076
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I am pregnant and pissed the hell off.
Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 10:53pm.,
Do you want fries with that ER call ma'am? BTW, you sure dew have a purdy mouth.
PLEASE HELP!! My grandson Joey is trapped inside a broken microwave oven and it went into the sewer! Cameras???
karen, buy me the bullets.
Done deal.
j/k
sorta.
heh
somebody please shoot this idiot. what a famewhoring , pathetic, deranged, manic piece or human garbage.
OMG! There's an edit button?
NOW I SEE THIS GEM!
Submitted by whole lotto luv on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 10:11pm.
Ask the artist formerly known as 'Prince' that, douchebag.
Love ya!
OT: These breeders are the stuff of bad dramz. I've seen better actors in my crying toilet.
Pleco- just use your safe word and I'll get pappy Chiuo-wowo to save you!
PRIVACY DON'T PAY MY BILLS!!!!!!!!!
TITS on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 9:03pm.
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 7:01pm.
At least he was man enough to change his tune.
*
... and his shirt!
_____________________________
Hopefully his boxers as well.
<"Submitted by Kandykane on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 10:14pm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_WTWSHUi5M&feature=related">
Great clip. I never watched any of the You Tubes on these people but wish MK had posted this particular one rather than that idiot sheriff running on and on for ten minutes. I like the part in this clip where the "psychic" says "Heene family...experiment.......blow up in your face." She's a pretty good psychic and is that brat kid ever a brat kid. It's sad how the father thought his and his kid's behavior here would make them lovable or something.
Jolie will adopt him. But the kid will have to change his name to Falconox.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 10:00pm.
Well...fuck! This family is fuckety, fuck, fuck fucked!
********************************************
Wait until Angelina Jolie rushes in to save the day. The asian looking kid with the fucked up name will get the run of the house.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Dear CPS,
These people are nuts and the example they set for their children is extremely poor as the following video will attest:
'Many years ago I passed out in a fast food restaurant...' - Richard Heene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_WTWSHUi5M&feature=related
"I told the troot, and I have fate the troot will prevail."
Submitted by Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 4:00pm
Eff me, how do I talk to you if I can't pronounce your name? Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
queef
œœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœœ
"Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?" "Uh, no. Mr. Johnson."
I found a great dating site________ R i c h K i s s i n g. C O M ________. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties. what's the most important is that you don't have to be a millionaire, but you can meet one. Charlie Sheen found his true love on that site in 2007.
Well...fuck! This family is fuckety, fuck, fuck fucked!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I'm not buying psycho mom's bullshit broken English. She met Mr. Tin Foil Hat at an acting class for fuck's sake.
Key her car in the parking lot as see how much American English comes roaring out of her mouth.
Maybe she's abused, but I'm fairly sure the demure, little loutus blossom speak is a total con.
~Tiny Fists of Irken Fury!~
***Submitted by Rosemary on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 9:29pm.
The lady that lived with him for two weeks or whatever that he poured milk on was a psychic and told him that one of his experiments would go badly in the future or something like that. haha Wonder what she's saying now.
***
After all this nonsense, I think it would be HILARIOUS if someone gave HER her own show (not that I'd watch it).
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 9:41pm.
"That whole Heene family is psychos!!!"
Underfuckin'statement of the year.
I hope to hades these tin foilers meet a rubber room and a broomstick STAT.