Presenting The New Rainbow Brite!
Dora the Explorer and Strawberry Shortcake already have eating disorders and lost the fat, so it was only a matter of time before Rainbow Brite followed. Hallmark has sent Rainbow Brite to the plastic surgeon, stuck some extensions in hair, got her a make-up makeover at the MAC counter, and is sending her back to work beginning next year. Rainbow Brite used to look like an adorable roly poly girl, and now she looks like a chick who will try to give you a light show with her glow sticks while you're rolling on E at a rave. I can deal.
However, I cannot deal with Hallmark replacing Rainbow Brite's main gays with a trio of furry dingle berries. I mean, the old Rainbow Brite loved her gays, and the new one apparently loves hairy nutsacks with arms and legs. Yeah, no.
And if Hallmark really wants to push Rainbow Brite out on the ho stroll to compete with professional prostitots like the Bratz dolls, they are going to need to try harder. Rainbow Brite is going to need a pair of rainbow bitties, as well as a pair of lucite heels (with a rainbow light in the paltform, of course).
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I'll start by stating the obvious....I'm a Rainbow Brite fan - the 80's version that is. This bullshit looks like transvestite Rainbow Brite with a coke problem. WHY DID THEY DO THIS?!
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"We predict the future. And the best way to predict it, is to invent it."
Word, Balice
lol
Dolls are getting uglier and more generic
Joel Mchale is not amused.
*Lindsey Lohan approved!
Seriously, why do I envision these with their hair on fire, necks broken, and scabbed knees from all the blowjobs for coke? This is a goddamn fucking outrage to all us old school Rainbow Brite lovers!!! FUCKERS!
What the fuck! Goddamnit. I loved Rainbow Brite why the fuck do they have to make everything look like an illegitimate Barbie spawn? Why couldn't she stay in the 80's? UGH.
Rainbow Brite is making her comeback and this is the best she can do?
Those skirts are way too long, those boots need bigger ho heels, and their dingleberries need pimp canes and anal beads!
She better get with the fucking program and enter ho row with a (gang) bang!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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this sucks! she looks like a slut!
as someone who grew up on rainbow brite (hardcore style) - this sucks. whatever marketing toy dooshbag who thought this was a good idea should burn in hell.
Those "dingle berries" are sprites and were part of the original series. The white one is named "Twink" :)
"I was Snow White, but I drifted" - Mae West
Is it just me, or is the white dingleberry in the middle looking up the skirt of the blonde ho on the horse?
We are so doomed.
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"It's like I'm gently being butt fucked by a croissant." -MK
I thought the original Rainbow Brite was hotter... Does that make me a pedo?
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If Mackenzie Phillips doesn’t have a house full of cats, then you can’t possibly have a good reason to either.
Why do people always have to fuck everything old or good in the world? Rainbow Brite IS A KID so she's meant to be "chubby" and "cute" not a motherfucking slut with an eating disorder.
I HATE WHAT THE WORLD IS TODAY!
"By the time you read this you've already read it."
Why do the toy companies feel the need to change these doll? Can't they keep somethings classic?
Until now, I assumed Rainbow Brite was a toothpaste.
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Phoenix-1901
Up next: Josie and the Pussycats.
I seem to remember them being a bit "thick" LOL
God, can't have that.
Thank you Grace Disful for making me laugh this morning. I'm still wiping up the coffee I spit all over my screen.
www.peopleofwalmart.com
Who bothered to raise these fruity floozies from the dead?
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Bottom-feeder.
Rainbow Brite, Jem (and The Holograms), and The Smurfs are, and will forever and always be...
the shit!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
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I can at least applaud the lack of a bare midriff.
What the fuck is Rainbow Brite anyway? They look like drag queens.
Next week, Jem will be upgraded with a set of pasties and a G-string.
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Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...
This is why dlisted is the first site that I check in the morning. MK has a talent to see the dirty in the apparently ever-so innocent. His near poetic sarcasm makes my day every single time. Love it.
H8
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Desperately seeking relevance.
Perez Hilton is behind this.
Don't ask me why.
How cute! Rainbow Brite with a nose job, liposuction, extensions and slutty make-up.
In the first episode she gets busted for riding Starlite into a tree while rollin' balls on ecstasy and meth.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
FUCK THESE AIDS WHORES NOT EVEN MY 10 YEAR OLD LITTLE SISTER CARES ABOUT THESE HOS BURN IN HELL!
*sigh*
Why "fix" what wasn't broken?
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
In case nobody said it already, the one on the left looks just like natalie portman...
There's something very "Pedobear Seal of Approval" about this
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Barbie fell in a vat of Skittles.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Great. My daughters were peering over my shoulder and asking all kinds of questions about these things. They think they're pretty and want to get some.
*le sigh*
whores
these dolls are pretty. a bit skinny, but pretty. that said, i'm proud to say i still have my rainbow brite dolls!
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"she is lucky to be alive, because that ugly stick almost beat her to death".
hotmess119's dad.
First they add the first character in over 80 years to the Winnie the Pooh cartoons and now this!
*cries*
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Moo!
its bruce bitch...
All they need is a cigarette in their mouths and some tattoos and that one on the right is the new friend to Rainbow Brite... Amy whineplayhouse
its bruce bitch...
Whose the model for Rainbow??? Lady gaga and lindsey lohan merged together??
its bruce bitch...
Now Joel McHale is going to have to redo his Rainbow Brite costume for the soup
The dolls are cute, but I'm not familiar with the characters at all. I aspire to get my hair as big as the blue one's though.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
This really isn't funny...
It's actually making me pretty damn depressed.
God we're fucked...
"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"
My childhood keeps getting raped everyday by this bullshit.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
No one wants to look at fat behbehs!
PS. Fat is very good for the brain. It's ok for kids to have a little chub on them cuz their little brains have to work a lot harder than ours. Also - they have to grow. It's good for them to have some extra fuel to do that with.
♥ Threadkilla!
Chaka Khan wrote me a theme song!!!
Submitted by LuxLuv on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 5:34pm.
LOL! You go girl!
Have yourself a great evening.
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Now we are the crow which contemplated the silence...
I'm seriously pissed that they're doing this. i understand them wanting to bring these characters back, but there fucking it up. Just invent some other character to slutify don't ruin the old ones
>:(
Remember kids, fame is fleeting and money is just a number!
Submitted by LuxLuv on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 5:34pm.
I think I'm just gonna kick the kids out for the night and go hate-fuck on Mr. Lux. I'm just in one of those moods.
The rest of y'all can still have my Vicodin scrip. THAT shit just makes me wanna hate fuck the dentist-bunny-man. And that ain't good.
*tosses pills*
I'm out for a while.
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Have a nice day!!! :D
♥ Threadkilla!
Chaka Khan wrote me a theme song!!!
Fucking with a classic. It's the American Way!
This is utter bullshit! Let's ruin all the good stuff and make girls even more self-conscious.
I think I'm just gonna kick the kids out for the night and go hate-fuck on Mr. Lux. I'm just in one of those moods.
The rest of y'all can still have my Vicodin scrip. THAT shit just makes me wanna hate fuck the dentist-bunny-man. And that ain't good.
*tosses pills*
I'm out for a while.
www.peopleofwalmart.com
pathetic
Submitted by LuxLuv on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 5:13pm.
I'm craving a Garbage Pail Kid.
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There was a real live one not stuck in a balloon yesterday!