Keanu Reeves Can Bust Into The "You Are Not The Father Dance" Now
According to DNA tests, Keanu Reeves is not the father of four grown-ups after all.
A permanent resident of Crazy Town (Mayor: Claire Cruise) who goes by the name of Karen Sala filed papers claiming that Keanu's sperm fish humped on her eggs four times. Karen's kids (no relation) are all adults now, but she was still hitting Keanu up for $150,000 in child support retroactive to June 1988 and $3 million a month in spousal support retroactive from November 2006. Karen might have been married to Keanu in her head, but it was never made legal. Keanu still claims that he's never ever met Karen in real-life. Keanu only agreed to let his peen spit in a cup, so that everyone would know he didn't knock up that loon.
So this means we're not going to get a Keanu & Karen Plus Four reality show after all. Booo. It would've made my whole life year month week to see Keanu's hobo ass pushing around four adults dressed as BABEHS in strollers. Oh, wells.
But wait! Peep that baby bump on Krazy Karen's chin. Homegirl should get that tested, because there's a good chance Cameron Diaz is that pimple baby's father. Get that money, Karen!
In other news, four Canadian adults just changed their last names from Sala to NotASala.
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Why is she suddenly quiet?
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Proud love child of Oprah Winfrey & Bill Gates
His face looks so much younger and skin more smoother than her!
Kenau is a well known hollywood homosexual. Did she bump pussies with a stinkfish?? Lesbianism most foul!!!!
Also, Kenau's forehead is SO smooth - did she have botox?
LEAVE KEANU ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEE!!!!!!!!
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Bottom-feeder.
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What happened to the keanu reeves hobo pic?
M.E:
what has he been through tell me a story!
___________________
"she is lucky to be alive, because that ugly stick almost beat her to death".
hotmess119's dad.
The Wayne's World dudes are not aging well...
He's been through so much in his life. Give the fucking guy a break you crazy loon!
And what's up with Keanu's face? This looks like a wax figure of Keanue Reeves instead of the real thing.
I've always said these rich and/or famous guys have to be careful who they associated with. Now, perhaps Keanu didn't have a fling with this tramp, but it's still best to be safe.
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 9:08am.
I'd hit it.
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Yeah!!!
Upside down and back to front! For dayysssssssssss
OMGHESSOFUCKINGHOT
*fans self*
I still say that's Viggo in a wig, by the way.
Submitted by CAINandABEL on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 8:54am.
they generally do DNA tests from saliva or blood, not sperm. there should be no need for him to jerk off in a cup unless he wanted to make this horrible experience more pleasurable.
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Technician: "Umm. no, Mr. Reeves. Sorry.
In order to test DNA on bebees, we need
some baby batter, specificially.
Here's your dixie cup. I'll be back in five."
*snorts*
Why do celebs bring out the crazies?
Wow, I'd bet those four adult children of this nut are *really* glad she's their mom.
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
LOL @ the Cameron Diaz/zit mention!
And honestly, it's a shame he had to go through that fuckery. What was the point of this whole exercise? He has to pay attention to her. That's all it is.
See why I don't want to be famous? Some looney makes an obviously ridiculous claim and you have to spend time and money defending yourself. Famous people are sitting ducks, I tell you.
I'd hit it.
LOL @ Cameron Diaz being the zit's baby mama/daddy!
TEAM KEANU!
He may fight the hot and look homeless 24/7 but Keanu could still pull way better than her. Hell, I'd still hit it.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
She reminds me of Debbie Rowe.
they generally do DNA tests from saliva or blood, not sperm. there should be no need for him to jerk off in a cup unless he wanted to make this horrible experience more pleasurable.
Maybe this crazy ho will go away now. Then again, she may decide now that another male celebrity is the father of those kids...er, adults.
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“Just once; I ended up fucking the waiter.” --Brian Kinney, when asked if he'd ever been on a date.
MY SONG!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ANKxsSZRs
It only took Karen 20years and having 4 kids and claiming they were Keanu Reeves kids for Karen to get him to notice her, see Brangeloonies, THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU!!!!
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
It's like a warm Santa Ana with the scent of onion rings on it. ********************************************************************************* He that maketh an ass of himself should not feel ill of those who ride him!
Hahaha...I spent part of this past weekend in Crazy Town aka Barrie (not getting swabbed or tested).
She is their Face of Meth.
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I have very mild superpowers.
It would've made my whole life year month week to see Keanu's hobo ass pushing around four adults dressed as BABEHS in strollers. Oh, wells.
LMAOOOOOOOOO MK!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
I hope he got that cup back.
9 months from now, that lab technician that went into the closet with the dixie cup and a turkey baster, is going to come out of the woodwork. you watch.
(I totally would).
her face really scares me for some reason.
i think that's what some of our trolls look like
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
just shoot that useless cunt
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 8:28am.
is that where that breeze is coming from?
LOL. And why everyone's voice is echoing?
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Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules...
is that where that breeze is coming from?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
That would have been a KeaNO!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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It disgusts me that the Court had to waste its time because of this freaking psycho-cunt and her frivolous lawsuit. They should make her pay all the court costs AND toss her ass into lock-up for 30 days for being an asshole.
Submitted by Flatbush Hooker... on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 8:14am.
Who's dick do you want the other 2 days a week?********************************************************************************* He that maketh an ass of himself should not feel ill of those who ride him!
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 8:11am.
GODNEY'S HERE?
I doubt it, the alarm clock, errr , rooster hasn't crowed yet. ********************************************************************************* He that maketh an ass of himself should not feel ill of those who ride him!
What! Honey they only need a mouth swab or some blood to do a DNA test. no peen spit needed.
I bet he poked her but, luckily, didn't procreate. It was a bit hazy and neither one of them can recall all that well.
______________________
History of the Joke
New Shakira song is lowrent Nelly Furtado " Promescious girl"
but I looooove it!
Back to topic
I'm curently pregnant with K Lutz babehh
and all I want is his dick....5 days a week
case closed
<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>
That aint crack pipe
thats my motherfucking Pez dispenser!
GODNEY'S HERE? GODNEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! GET YOUR GUSTY CERVIX OVER HERE! (shit did I say it right??)
CLOSE YOUR LEGS GURRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
YAY Keanu!
Let's party!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGtWssdauME&feature=PlayList&p=2D6EA97DC0...
♥ Threadkilla!
Chaka Khan wrote me a theme song!!!
WOW SO SHOCKING!
Godney...I want to have your babeh!!********************************************************************************* He that maketh an ass of himself should not feel ill of those who ride him!
Manson disciple looking freak would have us believe that a fine specimen like Keanu would have sessy times with her? Puh-leez. Put down your crackpipe you crazy bitch.
Excellent!********************************************************************************* He that maketh an ass of himself should not feel ill of those who ride him!
I wish people who leave this guy alone, hasn't he been through enough?
That said, I'd totally hit it...to comfort him of course...