Monday, October 12th 2009

Open Post: Hosted By Ruth Frith

100-year-old Ruth Frith proved that great memaws still know how to handle a heavy ball. At yesterday's World Masters Games in Sydney, Ruth won the gold medal in shot put after she threw the ball 4.07m. Ruth, who was the oldest chick at the games, was the only one to compete in the women's 100 to 104 aged shot-put, but she still threw that ball like it belonged to Jon Gosselin. Ruth said, "I only had to turn up to win the medal, but that wasn't going to be good enough for me. I had to show everyone that I could still do it."

In order to get her bones ready for the event, Ruth bench pressed 35k weights 5 days a week. Ruth doesn't let any of the sweet nectar pass her lips and she stays away from ciggies. Ruth also puts up a stop sign when it comes to vegetables. When asked what her secret to staying so active is, Ruth said, "Don't eat vegetables, because I never eat vegetables. I know people that like diets that will scream at me, (but) don't eat vegetables. I never have."

Not only is Ruth an expert ball-thrower, but she's also the wisest person I know through the internet. I've been trying to find a reason for becoming a sugartarian, and now I have finally found it! When my doctor asks me why my skin is grey, I will tell him that Memaw Ruth has advised me keep all vegetables away from my plate. The only green thing I need goes in a bong. Memaw Ruth for Queen of the Wooooorld!


Posted by: Michael K


freshfacestripper's picture

love to all the grandparents out there. i love my granpeople!

classopp0's picture

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My butt puckered in honor of Gran-Gran.

Really. People should honor our elders more. It's easy to joke but there but for the grace of God/Godess go I.

Shorty's picture

Good gawd I hope I don't live to be 100! I'd like to slide in around 70ish... while I can still make it to the bathroom.

classopp0's picture

__ClassyMingle.com__ is the best and largest online personals site dedicated to men and women seeking a higher caliber online dating experience.
Our clients include CEOs, Professional Athletes, Doctors, Lawyers, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Beauty Queens, Fitness Models, and Hollywood Celebrities,
just to name a few .Everyone is welcome here. You don't have to be wealthy or famous.

What a great lady !

Tristram's picture

Ruth needs to be checked for roids.

____________________
This counrty needs the death pantaly and fast (cbc.ca commenter)

huangzhixian01's picture

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where is this alleged storm that's going to hit the bay area ? and wtf flash flood warnings ??? SF will go down but i doubt by a flash fucking flood...it's more likely that i'll got shot by an ms-13 gang initiation than a flash flood....

urmomma's picture

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:25pm.
@ urmomma: how's your day goin?

*hitches up slacks, reclines and kicks boots (W/SPURS!) up on desk*
*******************************
OH.SHIT.
*laffs ass off. Points at Jack*
That's one. Everyone gets 3. You just used one.
*gets out list and scrawls name down*

xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.

This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.

YES !!!!! jvm looks like she is going to be on fire today...i have it on a low volume in the other room and she is already yelling.....*gets chardonnay ready****

suckandfuck's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 3:40pm.

I had a bladder infection on my wedding day. HAWT.
----------------------------------------------------

This is some hot shit.

i HATE bridezillas...those cunts on WE kill me (i know it's staged and scripted) but come on....and here's a fun story for everyone about a father who contacted his ESTRANGED 13 year old daughter to PROPOSITION HER FOR SEX on facebook:

http://cbs5.com/technology/internet.predator.facebook.2.1238509.html

Sweet Babu's picture

Submitted by Happy Hour on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:10pm.
_____________

Oh, that's so sad. The maid of honor in the cool wedding party I was in had just given birth 2 months before the wedding. She had the usual post-baby extra baggage, but that didn't stop the bride from having her be in the wedding. Then again, this was the bride who let us all choose a style of dress that suited our figure. That's real love.

When I got married (since divorced - sad), I knew who I wanted in my party, but we all lived in different states & I didn't want to deal with those crazy logistics, so I ended up just having my sister be in the wedding. I told her to have a seamstress make whatever she wanted to wear and I paid for it. The other women were totally cool with the idea and were just happy to be invited, and my sister wore a gorgeous gown. Again, real honest love.

Your cousin should never have mentioned the weight issue to you. But shallow people are always the ones who don't think twice about making a tacky comment like that, aren't they.

Sweet Babu's picture

Submitted by Migraine Sally on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:44pm.

BTW, thanks for nuthin' you cold bitchez! I never got my update.
_______________

Sorry, Migraine. I was tardy today myself. All I know is: spontaneous orgasms, peeing/pooping orgasms, bridezillas treating dlist sluts horribly, tacky wedding invites.....and I think cold weather.

Sweet Babu's picture

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:16pm.

I am going to tell him when he calls again (and he will) that I have to go to a baby shower.
It's true, it's just that baby showers generally don't run into the evening hours.
If they would've sent a real invite I would have been happy to go. I love fire hall weddings.
______________

That works. You want to show manners, even if he did do a tacky no-no invitation on you. Just say that even though it's an afternoon baby shower you're going to, you won't get home until dinnertime and will be exhausted.

Stoney's picture

Sally, I gave one to smurfy earlier. It was someone else's turn, but you know I'm the only bitch in these parts who will update a ho. LOL

Ok, gotta go peeps. Time for job #2.

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

M.E.'s picture

OMFG! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA! I JUST NOW saw the SNL skit of "Obama has done nothing"

*can't breathe*

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Mrs. Sally - you damn right they do. And I also want to be an Air Force Ranger!!! ♫
_____________________________________________
I tell you this, no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.... So KEEP FUCKIN THAT CHICKEN!

Migraine Sally's picture

BTW, thanks for nuthin' you cold bitchez! I never got my update.

*sharpens my plastic yogurt spoon into a shiv*

Migraine Sally's picture

jack

do your spurs jingle jangle jingle?

Chirio's picture

((screamsssssssssssssssssssss))

sorry..needed to do that. back to regular programming.

Coma Caca!!

Stoney's picture

*tazes jack's package*

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:26pm.

Yes, and polyester slacks with an elastic wasteband.... they make my package more than mesmerizing.
_____________________________________________
I tell you this, no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.... So KEEP FUCKIN THAT CHICKEN!

Stoney's picture

You have SPURS on?!

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

jack-n-the-hat's picture

@ urmomma: how's your day goin?

*hitches up slacks, reclines and kicks boots (W/SPURS!) up on desk*
_____________________________________________
I tell you this, no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.... So KEEP FUCKIN THAT CHICKEN!

Sugaroo's picture

M.E., I know! I'd sue, too, but what do you want to bet the docs/hospital are protected somehow from litigation in this case?

Where's Momus? I want to know what she thinks even if she's not a U.K. lawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moo!

M.E.'s picture

Roo - that is fucking awful. How could they have not screened the donor lungs for cancer?

I'd SUE!

Sugaroo's picture

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:15pm.

Submitted by Sugaroo on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:14pm.

Disgusting.

I guess it's good to know that it's not just America that mistreats it's veterans. *shanks something*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He was only 31! And they say there's nothing wrong with doing it. This kid nearly dies for his country and then his civilian doctors end up killing him!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moo!

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

I am going to tell him when he calls again (and he will) that I have to go to a baby shower.
It's true, it's just that baby showers generally don't run into the evening hours.
If they would've sent a real invite I would have been happy to go. I love fire hall weddings.

MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by Sugaroo on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:14pm.

Disgusting.

I guess it's good to know that it's not just America that mistreats it's veterans. *shanks something*

**************************************************************
Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009

For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009

Sugaroo's picture

Holy fuck! Did you guys hear about this???

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/10/12/soldier.lung.cancer.transplant/inde...

How can they get away with it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moo!

Thornhill's picture

@JTR...He fishin for a gift..Buy him a hitch for his trailer and turn up drunk...

_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Celebs are normal people, minus reason and accountability...

urmomma's picture

I am done with this Monday shit!
It is cold and rainy. I am ready to go home.
My stupid-cheap-ass-stupid boot-wearin'-fucktard boss...GRRRRRRRRRR!
C'mon, man! You are not Captain Jack Sparrow AND you are wearing the motherfuckers with Dockers!?!!
Ever wonder why you are single? Look at those fuckin' boots, my man! Do you walk by a mirror? Ever? You are a doctor, start dressing like one! Tightwad-asshole! Get a hooker. Get laid. And take off those fuckin' boots!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*slaps the next person who asks how my day is going while screaming about pirate boots and masturbators!*

xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.

This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:01pm.

That is very rude... I wouldn't go.

M.E.'s picture

Wind is starting to pick up here. Storm be a coming!

Submitted by Sweet Babu on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:00pm.

Oh, she's "considering" having you be part of the wedding party? That bitch double slammed you! I thought everyone just knew who they wanted to have in their party from the get-go, but then I hear more & more bridezilla stories like this and it just pisses me off.

I know, she always told me that she wanted me to be part of "her day" but did not count on me getting knocked up lol...

Migraine Sally's picture

OK, I have returned. Bitchez catch a triflin' hooker up por favor.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

The cranberry juice thing is trufax. A friend of mine went out during our reception to buy me two gallons of it and I brought one with me to Scotland for our honeymoon.

**************************************
Uvula/vulva.....hell, it's all pink on the inside anyway. - Sweet Babu

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

I think it's rude too.
And weird.
He has called me twice about it, so it must be important to him.
But I sure as heck don't want to crash a reception.

Sweet Babu's picture

@ Jill: What Jack said. You should be invited as his guest for the wedding and reception, not as an afterthought. I know people do this when budgets are tight, but it's really offensive. Why do folks turn to savages and have such bad manners when planning weddings? Jeesh.

MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:01pm.

I'm sorry but that is actually very rude of him to ask. You either get an invite to the whole thing or not at all. Miss manners would not be pleased! ;)

I wouldn't go....

**************************************************************
Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009

For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009

Sweet Babu's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 3:59pm.

UTI - UGH! They are the worst!! You have to be careful with those though. It was due to a UTI that I got a kidney infection and nearly died.
______________

Me too, ME. I ended up in the hospital 3 times and it still took forever to get back to normal after it was healed. My internal organs started to fail and I lost 20 lbs and got so anemic that friends had to literally come over and spoon feed me. And this was AFTER catching the UTI early on. I almost died. Horrible ladies -- you've gotta take these things seriously.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:01pm.

This is an easy one.... politely tell him you appreciate the invitation that was extended to you, however, FUCK OFF!
_____________________________________________
I tell you this, no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.... So KEEP FUCKIN THAT CHICKEN!

Jill-The-Ripper's picture

Ok here's a question.
I have a long-time married friend/sometimes work helper who called me last week. His son (whom I have met maybe twice) is getting married this weekend.
He said he wants me to come to the wedding, even though I was not sent an invite. But he also told me to show up after 8pm, which is after the ceremony and dinner too.
Would you go?
(I think this is an odd request)
I don't want to just show up there, I think it's weird. And I don't think he is fishing for a gift for his kid, and it's not sexual on his part because I am friends with his wife too.

Thornhill's picture

Oh Puhleeze..

_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Celebs are normal people, minus reason and accountability...

Sweet Babu's picture

Submitted by Happy Hour on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 3:41pm.

My cousin is the one asking me if I think I will be back to my pre-pregnancy weight by next June.

She is considering if I should be part of her wedding party.. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
_______________

Oh, she's "considering" having you be part of the wedding party? That bitch double slammed you! I thought everyone just knew who they wanted to have in their party from the get-go, but then I hear more & more bridezilla stories like this and it just pisses me off.

M.E.'s picture

UTI - UGH! They are the worst!! You have to be careful with those though. It was due to a UTI that I got a kidney infection and nearly died.

shut the smurf up's picture

Submitted by KD on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 3:53pm.
I have heard an orgasm explained as the feeling of relief when emptying your bladder, but um, I think it is better than that.

what??? whoever said that never had one! for realz!

....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K

Sweet Babu's picture

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/12/2009 - 3:45pm.

Tell your cousin you plan on gaining fifty more pounds and to go fuck herself.
_______________

Or else tell her you've lost the weight but wouldn't be caught dead wearing a gross bridesmaid dress.