Wednesday, September 30th 2009

Sarah Silverman Is Fucking Jimmy Kimmel.....On Tape?

You might have been wondering why your stomach is growling more than usual this morning. No, it wasn't the bad jizz you ate last night. It was your stomach sensing that it's about to go through some serious shit, because reportedly a Sarah Silverman/Jimmy Kimmel sex tape is about hit the internet. Yeah, you probably won't hear from your genitals for a few days. They aren't going to come out until it's safe.

Zack Taylor (via ONTD) says that some source sent him a few screen shots that are supposedly of Jimmy Kimmel giving it to Sarah Silverman missionary-style (BORING!). Apparently, the 15-minute tape that was shot a few years ago is being shopped around. The source added that Sarah and Jimmy bumped tittays on tape while on vacation at some resort. When they left, they forgot to take the camera with them and a resort employee got their hands on it. That's the story.

Based on the screen shots alone, that could be absolutely anybody or anything. It could be Guillermo, it could be Jon Grosselin, it could be Kate Gosselin's possum head, it could be Khloe Kardashian without her weave on or it could be my Uncle Werner after getting his back waxed.

Let's just pretend this post never happened. I mean, porn isn't supposed to make your fuck parts sad.

UPDATE: A rep for both Jimmy and Sarah says it isn't them in the sex tape. Wait, so maybe it is my Uncle Werner after all!

Posted by: Michael K


Sarah Silverman Full Home-made hot video i found here:

http://sarah--silverman.blogspot.com/?id=dlisted

U have to see it,really hot video!!!

The rumor was started by a Canadian blogger who has made similar "someone anonymously emailed me this sex tape" claims in the past. He might be a prankster, he might just want to drive traffic to his blog, either way it's a bogus story. Details here:

http://www.dazereader.com/36000058.html

fannyshow520's picture

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Ford_Prefect's picture

About that Cook/Silverman show... Could there be 2 more unfunny, overrated, comics on the plant? And I love stand up.

(Lewis CK rocks live BTW)

Seriously. If someone wanted to give me FREE tickets to that show, I decline the offer.

~Tiny Fists of Irken Fury!~

Ford_Prefect's picture

About that Cook/Silverman show... Could there be 2 more unfunny, overrated, comics on the plant? And I love stand up.

(Lewis CK rocks live BTW)

Seriously. If someone wanted to give me FREE tickets to that show, I decline the offer.

~Tiny Fists of Irken Fury!~

Ford_Prefect's picture

Dry heaves into trash can.

Polar bears have standards and wouldn't maul either of their talentless asses.

How about shopping that tape to some zoo porn sites? The thumb nail would be right at home between the crack whore screwing a fish and the 3 way with a goat.

*shudders*

~Tiny Fists of Irken Fury!~

Two very intelligent and funny people....who happen to be the last couple on EARTH that I want to see plugging it up. CREEPY CARRIE!

azgirl's picture

Ick. Nast.

Molotov Cocktease's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 11:04am.

Idea for hit Vegas show: Sarah Silverman farts and says "vagina" in little girl voice, Dane Cook yells Louis CK's jokes and makes them less funny. I just saved you all a trip to Vegas and the cost of show tickets
*********

Dude. I know people. Let's make this happen.

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"Stop! Don't touch me there, you know that is my no-no square" - Cheerleader chant at Mississippi Abstinence rally

Team Valtrex's picture

Know the difference between Sarah Silverman and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Team Valtrex's picture

The tape is 15 minutes? What did they do with the OTHER 14:30? Oh, that's right, Sarah farted.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Team Valtrex's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 11:04am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 10:58am.

Sarah Silverman's entire act, in 15 seconds or less: say "vagina" in little girl voice, fart, repeat. You all owe me the $75 apiece for the show tickets.
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That is NOT true. Jesus is Magic is a masterpiece! Bitch!
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Jesus is Magic, in 15 seconds or less: say "vagina" in little girl voice, fart, say Jesus forgives her for that, sing offkey, repeat.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 10:58am.

Sarah Silverman's entire act, in 15 seconds or less: say "vagina" in little girl voice, fart, repeat. You all owe me the $75 apiece for the show tickets.
************************************

That is NOT true. Jesus is Magic is a masterpiece! Bitch!

(((HUGS))):)

♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!(part 2)

Team Valtrex's picture

Idea for hit Vegas show: Sarah Silverman farts and says "vagina" in little girl voice, Dane Cook yells Louis CK's jokes and makes them less funny. I just saved you all a trip to Vegas and the cost of show tickets.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

M.E.'s picture

LMAO @ TV!

Team Valtrex's picture

Sarah Silverman's entire act, in 15 seconds or less: say "vagina" in little girl voice, fart, repeat. You all owe me the $75 apiece for the show tickets.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Molotov Cocktease's picture

Damn TV LMAO! You have been UNSTOPPABLE lately.

*********
"Stop! Don't touch me there, you know that is my no-no square" - Cheerleader chant at Mississippi Abstinence rally

jazzfish_77's picture

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 10:51am.

While I'm sure there's a huge demand to see a fat, second rate talk show host get anally violated by his girlfriend's strap-on, I always assumed it would be Rosie O'Donnell on the receiving end.
===

I pictured her on the giving end...

Team Valtrex's picture

While I'm sure there's a huge demand to see a fat, second rate talk show host get anally violated by his girlfriend's strap-on, I always assumed it would be Rosie O'Donnell on the receiving end.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Molotov Cocktease's picture

This bullshit crashed my puter!

*********
"Stop! Don't touch me there, you know that is my no-no square" - Cheerleader chant at Mississippi Abstinence rally

angel_i's picture

I agree - Sarah's a cool chick in my books but I still don't want to a see a sex tape with her and Jimmy Kimmel...or anyone and Jimmy Kimmel to be honest...

♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!(part 2)

omar's picture

I don't understand why people hate Sarah Silverman so much.

I didn't used to like her very much myself (though I wasn't venomous, like a lot of folks seem to be), but ever since a friend forced me to watch her TV show, I realized that she's actually really funny.

All the ladies checkin' out my sugalumps

i am a sloth's picture

errr...

Raul Duke's picture

Go back to worshiping your Cheetos eating retard..********************************************************************************* We're all victims of our own gene pools, some one must of pissed in yours!

louise_brooks's picture

Submitted by in the know on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 9:12am.

my boyfriends Mom and Adman Sandlers Mom are her good friend from temple and they are already horrified by her comedy. oiu this ain't gonna go down to good at the next Hadassa meeting.
`````

ROTFLMAO That is cracking me up.

"Why Are You Doing This To Us?" Is my favorite tag.

MissJaneTexas's picture

You know how they say when you are famous you have to give up certain things? Making a sex tape is definitely one of those....

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I feel I'm on top again baby that's got everything to do with you...

Green Is Good's picture

Submitted by death2douches on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 9:21am.

How did Sarah Silverman become famous? Certainly not on looks, intelligence, or wit.

~-*+*-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Because every other word out of her mouth is Fuck. Pffft. Yeah, that's original and edgy.

omar's picture

Sarah Silverman is funny, and occasionally attractive; nevertheless I do NOT want to see her f*ck Jimmy Kimmel. Ugh.

All the ladies checkin' out my sugalumps

Sensimina's picture

Khloe and Lamar: Another Night in Chyna is coming next. TRUST ME.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule

Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

Eddie's picture

if these two aren't getting mauled by a polar bear on it, then im not watching

M.E.'s picture

Why did they remake Flubber?

kanderso's picture

I like them both well enough, but do not need to see their sex tape. Kimmel's moobs are not hot. And Sarah Silverman always seems about 12 years old to me (I know she doesn't look that young but something about her...) so I don't want to see her having sex either.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink

jazzfish_77's picture

*vomits*

lez-babe's picture

Jimmy's got some major flubber going on. Sploosh sploosh.

like-wow's picture

Jimmy Kimmel is a hot piece and he has nice moobs! Sarah Sliverman = Fugly.

Manimal5's picture

All I see is some guy and a hand...I've seen this before...hmmm!

Sluttsville's picture

I couldn't believe how much larger Sarah's tits look than usual, but then I realized those are Jimmy's tits.

suckandfuck's picture

suckandfuck if your really gonna cum them how bout you get your dick on a webcam and sho us what your working with there?!"

microdick?
--------------------------------------------------

As any regular poster on Dlisted can tell you, I consistently offer my self for webcam.

Also, I like your avatar but Britney is too old there, she was much hotter on Star Search.

GODNEY's picture

if i ever meet sarah, i gotta remember to ask how Jimmy's under-tit sweat tastes.

suckandfuck if your really gonna cum them how bout you get your dick on a webcam and sho us what your working with there?!"

microdick?

Lets talk about biology,
Make believe youre next to me,
Phonography, phonography,
Talk that sexy talk to me,
Better make sure that the line is clean,
Keep it confidential, you and me.
Phonography, phonography,
Dirty talking, call it phonography.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

I luff me some suckandfuck.

And the poster by that name on Dlisted, too.

But a Kimmel/Silverman sex tape? Fuck to the no.

**************************************
What's the exchange rate on me giving less than a rat's ass? - TV

Zedrie's picture

Submitted by death2douches on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 9:21am.

It would be more interesting, yet equally horrifying, if there was instead a tape of Ben Affleck fucking Kimmel.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I agree 100%

Raul Duke's picture

LEAVE SUCKANDFUCK ALOOOOOOOOOOOONE!********************************************************************************* We're all victims of our own gene pools, some one must of pissed in yours!

little_rascal's picture

Team SuckandFuck!

Brenda DuBois's picture

Fuck, I just vomited all over my new computer. Thanks, MK.

Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.

-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210

speakit's picture

Submitted by Sweet Babu on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 9:29am.
Submitted by speakit on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 9:12am.

awwww gawd, who wants to see average people having sex? I don't.
______________________

It'd be just like watching my ugly-ass neighbors having sex. No, thank you.

__________________________________________

HAHA.. I don't even want to see myself having sex. I think it would disturb me.

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Song of the Day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foq2yMj2QgQ

urmomma's picture

Missionary? Ooooooooo, you animals.

Suckandfuck, that better be consensual or I am calling PETA! ;)

xoxoxoxo
hugs y'all.

This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.

KD's picture

I don't know, maybe it's worth a watch. What if that is when they tell their best jokes?

Farrah's picture

WHY, MK, WHY???
*******************************************
www.walkms.org
walk for a ho!

suckandfuck's picture

Submitted by GODNEY on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 9:26am.

you gonna cum?

how bout you call 911 let them hear your juice splattin off your chunk, sicko?

cos nobody else is ever gonna wanna help you out with that nast.
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My dog does all the time. Don't be jealous!

freebird's picture

LOL Suckandfuck! I do NOT want to see those two doing it. Maybe him and Ben though.