Jude Law Wants His Own Maury Moment
Here's Jude Law's latest babeh mameh, Samantha Burke, hobbling around her Pensacola, Fl neighborhood yesterday. At least they tell me this is Samantha Burke, because all I see is chichiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis! DAMN! Yeah, I know Samantha's chichis still aren't as big as even one of Aretha Franklin's nipples, but they still do the trick! If I was Samantha, I would lease my new baby out, because I wouldn't even have time to take care of her. I'd be too busy jiggling my leche bags in the mirror all day long! Yes, I'm that easy.
But seriously, baby is going to need an oxygen tank, so she doesn't get smothered. I'm sure Salma Hayek has a few laying around that she can give to Samantha.
And in other Jude news, The News of the World (via Digital Spy) says he is refusing to see Baby Sophia until he gets a DNA test. A friend said, "Jude is still very cautious about Sam and Sophia. Until he is 100% certain that she is his daughter he is only communicating through lawyers. If he is the father he will meet his obligations to the child. He is hoping for an early chance to establish that he is genuinely her dad."
This is a little weird since I thought Jude already took a DNA test before baby Sophia was born. That's why he admitted he was in fact the father? Hmm. Maybe Jude just wants an excuse to rub one off into a plastic cup while a nurse waits outside the door. The plastic cup fetish. That's a new one.
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if that woman is 24, i'm the queen of england and she needs to avoid the sun, stop smoking and invest her talk money in micro-dermabrasion. she's rough
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I thought they did a DNA via the amino fluid nowadays before birth. So what gives?
Jude is pulling a David Spade. Fuckard!=========
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Samantha is on her way to the local check cashing place to cash her child support check.
Ali Lohan?
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 11:45pm.
Quite frankly I think her body looks kinda sexy like that. *shrugs* Her face is a whole nother story tho.
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well, the big overhanging belly is kinda blech, but she did just have a baby so that makes it sexy. Her tits are fab!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxRS_GyBbM
Quite frankly I think her body looks kinda sexy like that. *shrugs* Her face is a whole nother story tho.
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!(part 2)
I didn't saw the comments before I wrote my comment, but I'm glad I have no eyes hallucination...or maybe we all have. lol
Brief, I'm glad I'm not the only one to see that she is Ali Lohan long lost twin.
Idk if someone has already mentionned it, but when I saw this pic I thought, is it Ali Lohan?!
Hahahahha!!
Submitted by govt_cheese on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 8:39pm.
Submitted by sherly2008 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 7:56pm.
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Hey sheryl, you deserve a lit match up tha ass. Gtfo.
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LOL.....seriously - crash and burn already.
Submitted by I_was_a_slave4U on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 12:12pm.
She looks like Ali Lohan gone obese.
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That's exactly what I thought!
The Curious Case of Ali Lohan with some major weight on...only to discover it is just the latest skank Jude "f*ckanythingwithaheartbeat" Law knocked up.
I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
Submitted by sherly2008 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 7:56pm.
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Hey sheryl, you deserve a lit match up tha ass. Gtfo.
he is gross and she is a pig
xoxox
The war isn't working.
She looks pretty damned pleased with herself. Good score, doll. Enjoy those child support checks!
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Somebody just chop his baby carrot off already. SUCH an ugly dumbass. Time for him to stop spreading his loser genes around.
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http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
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http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
Jude...you know it's your baby, you stupid piece of shit! Well, presumably it is, anyway...lol! Jude Law looks nasty nowadays anyway...he looks like doesn't shower for months on end....disgusting!!!
"People are strange when you're a stranger..." ~ The Doors
M.E., my friend K didn't gain very much weight at all when she was pregnant but after she had her son she was a size 12. I was surprised, considering how hard she worked to keep her weight down. Everyone else I know gained anywhere from 20 to 100 lbs during pregnancy (Maria & Lisa) and either never lost it or practically had to stop eating to get the weight off. It took K about 2 mos to get back into her size 8's. It seems like what you went through is the norm and people that think, "Well, just don't gain a lot of extra weight and you'll be skinny again as soon as the baby is out," isn't the norm.
OT: Did she have big ol' tittays before they did sexy times? Was he hypnotized by the chi-chi's or what? Otherwise, man-ho, wear a damned condom and stfu. This is what happens when you DON'T wear a condom and fck some random ho.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
She gained about 100lbs. Yuck. Most women are looking at her pic thinking "wow there is hope for me then". Sad.
MK MK MK...that bizzatch does not live in Pensacola. She lives in our neighboring UFO capital of Gulf Breeze.
Fuck the chi chi's, check out the belly! WTF she really has to back off the fucking kielbasa!
That's a HUGE bitch
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Holy shit it's bigfoot!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_CMCKATxhPi4/Sj5l3dbvuXI/AAAAAAAABts/8pWpK_QJ7b...
He will pork any old slob.
That's a HUGE bitch.
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"All of us are lying in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."-Oscar Wilde
I can't wait to see what she demands of Jude in terms of support per month. Really, as an "aspiring actress and model," she would have aborted the baby (or given it up for adoption) if it was a normal guy without Jude's money, IMO.
Looks like the gold-digger used the "I'm eating for two" excuse to pig out.
Those are not chichis, those are 1 gallon each jugs of Vitamin D Milk. My back hurts just looking at them!! Someone ate one to many Oreos the last 9 mo. too.
GAAA!! Has this ho not heard of breast pads?? For leaking?? I had a major nursing bra AND pads and still leaked through. JESUS!
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She looks like shit. I had a baby three months ago. It took me about 4 weeks to fit back in my pre-pregnancy clothes. (I was all baby very little weight gain anywhere else.) I would have never worn a clingy top like that.
Also, WTF can she not wear a bra? My boobs were in agony for weeks after my milk came in. Even if she is not bf, she might have some leakage and overall breast tenderness.
At this point, I do not consider them chichis. They are just huge bottles of milk.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I wouldn't be caught dead dressed like that right after popping out a kid. Is she a masochist? You dress that tight and the rest of us have no choice but to poke fun at your flabby stomach and huge "I gained 75 lbs in my pregnancy" ass.
angel: LOL it was about that Irish "rapper"
MK's quotes are always precious
and should be preserved somewhere for posterity
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
HOnestly? The very LAST thing I cared about right after I had my kid was how I looked. I was just so busy making sure nothing was leaking all the time.
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!(part 2)
@snowy:
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
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What a great line! I almost missed it - I'm glad you saved it:)
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!(part 2)
I remember being soooooooooooooooooooooo depressed when, upon getting released from the hospital, I went to put on my "returnig home" outfit, only to find that I couldn't get the damn pants past my thighs and the top wouldn't go past the belly that still looked 5 1/2 months along.
I had to put back on the sweats and over sized t-shirt that I arrived in.
*cries*
how many women has he slept with in the last 9 months? geez.
well, i guess she still could be lying.
whatever, don't care.
The good thing is the nepotism that has flourished in Hollywood for years, won't be happening with Jude's family. He's pretty ugly and spreads his seed with even uglier ho's. None of his offspring will make it onto the screen. Of course, that hasn't stopped Demi Moore's potato head children and the Lardasshians.
hahahahah ISMU I was only kidding when I said that about her, I feel just like she looks today and I have not just (or ever) given birth
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 12:40pm.
Okay, y'all know it takes six weeks for the uterus to shrink back, right?
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Like I said, I'm not cutting her down for being fat. I know it can't be helped. But why can't she wear some clothes that fit? She seems to be the only one on the planet that doesn't realise she's a size 2 anymore.
KD I know, she looks soooo umcomfortable in those jeans! where are your Mom jeans, ho???
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Okay, y'all know it takes six weeks for the uterus to shrink back, right? And more than that to lose the weight? Nice to know there were so many critical hors out there when I looked like that after giving birth.
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What's the exchange rate on me giving less than a rat's ass? - TV
BUCKET!
I don't think that is quite a muffin top. It is closer to a beer belly than a muffin top. She just needs the kind of mom jeans that go up to her belly button to kind of cover that up.
I know you gain weight when you give birth, so I'm not going to comment on her lard ass, BUT why the hell can't she wear clothes that fit? The giant muffin top covered in butter is fucking gross. And the four boobs of the apocalypse...when your boobs are that big, get a full bra, not some demi cup that makes you look like you're in a fucking freak show. And the restalyne bumps around her chin. She's fucking ridiculous and disgusting and even her handler seems to realise it because she's trying to pull that fugly cardi down over her ass in thumb 4.
Sally and Snowy,
My uterus is fucked up, you can have mah bebes, o course! beautiful ginge bebehs!
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L' Shanah Tovah Tikatevu!!
Jude's entitled to the DNA test, but I'll bet he wants nothing to do with Sophia. Or he'll do a Dwight Yorke and want her in 7-10 years.
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"And the Fuckery Train keeps rolling all the way to HELL...."
Sally, hands off! she's alll mineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
I think mine were that big until I lost weight. Couldn't even see my feet, and that was without pregnancy, oy. Jude's such a douchebag though.
What the bejesus is going on btw?
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Farrah
I'm so in love with you right now. Can I have your bebes?
Whoa... that photo looks like a giant Ali Lohan. Not good, Jude.
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ASUUU MADREEE!!!!!