The "Madonna Is Marrying Baby Jesus" Rumor Is Back
A few months ago, hos were saying that Madonna was going to marry Baby Jesus in an intimate Kabbalah ceremony. God queefed. Now, one of Vadge's biographers claims she will make Baby Jesus her third husband by the end of the year. Randy Taraborrelli told Hello! Magazine (via DM) that Vadge is planning a "lavish ceremony."
A lavish ceremony which will probably involve a dozen goats, a crucifix, a manger, flying angels and Rocco, David and Lourdes dressed as the three kings. Okay, if Madonna's wedding rivals the Crystal Cathedral's "Glory of Easter" show, then I approve. I don't mean that.
According to Randy, Vadge has been telling friends, "He's so sweet. He checks in with me all the time. I probably should do the same, but you know me. I think he gets it now that I'm a little - shall we say --self-involved." So basically, Vadge is adopting another baby. Makes sense. And she also probably likes that he's potty-trained and doesn't talk back because his nuts haven't dropped yet.
A friend of Vadge's also added, "He respects her, that's number one. He has learned so much from her. He's amazed at how well-rounded she is, the way she juggles her career with her life as a mother, for instance. He understands that she's self-involved, too. Of course, the sex between them is scorching hot. To be candid, it's what's driving things."
This is obviously a case of dickmatization gone too far! I realize that Baby Jesus' toddler dick makes Vadge's octogenarian cooch feel young again, but there's no reason to put a ring on it. A cock ring, yes. A wedding ring, no. Vadge might love money more than she loves herself, so why would she want to put her checking account in danger by marrying Baby Jesus? Fuck with the dick, but don't fuck with your money!
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The Bitch, maybe he fucked loads of girls and his BF, a well known fashion photographer, doesn't mind this?
He's at the VERY least bi.
I think you got it wrong Madonna is going to adopt baby Jesus not marry him. She is old enough to be his grandmother. Where is Chris Hanson when you need him?
i don't see much crotch bulge. is he actually male?
and as if madonna's auctionhouse-wide snatch could accommodate it anyway.
these are just my opinions. don't shoot me.
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tell it to my answering machine
I'd be sweet, attentive, and respectful to her too if I had access to her millions! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for Jesus, better believe he's gonna take advantage of it.
Suddenly thankful for my own mother, bitch that she is. I see Vadge as the mother from hell. And, no, her children won't be writing tell-alls during her life time, much like Joan Crawford's kids.
Meanwhile, Vadge has been doing sexsay times longer than Jesus has been alive, so he probably really is learning some things. If I were him I'd refuse to sign a pre-nup. He can't kill her for the money because she won't die. Her assistant will merely rehydrate her with virgin's blood. If he runs for the border with her cash that would be stupid because he'd be leaving his nuts behind, so I don't see what the problem is. No pre-nup, Jesus. I'm giving you good advice here.
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O_o. Paris Hilton. Beware of my fucked up eye. It's bigger than the other.
what's wrong with his head? why is it so tiny?
She is desperate to keep herself in the news. YAWN! When she is 60 he won't even be 30 yet. That will work.
"Madonna Marries Jesus"
you sluts KNOW this headline has been racing through her 'self-involved' mind!
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I guess gay marriage IS legal. :) I mean, look at that happy couple.
Wouldn't it be delicious if he murdered her for her ridiculously large estate?
He tucked his fucking shirt into his CK undies????
I don't believe in miracles. I depend on them.
he probably makes her feel all shiny and new "Like A Virgin" touched for the very first time...feels so good inside...lol
Can she even remember when she was a virgin?
It's been soooo long!
Seriously, if she officially purchases him...I mean marries him, I am sure there will be an iron clad prenup signed in blood and stamped with his Brazilian nuts.
Submitted by bomp on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 11:44am.
Catherine Zeta Jones is 25 years younger than Michael Douglas - how come that's barely mentioned every time they're in the press? Sad.
I agree, if by "barely" you mean "always."
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 11:17am.
oh god yes, we allll forgot about Mercy
so sad, prolly the story of her life.
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Ha! For realz. Honestly tho, it sounds like Madonna is figuring her shit out. She was always going for the type of man that would want to put her in her place and then would get all pissy becuz that's exactly what they'd try to do. She really does need a boy-toy who can just "understand" that she's better than him. Much more harmonious relationship right there.
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!(part 2)
Tsk. Why is she wearing see-through pants? Anyway, I care less about her but so much for it being 2009 and an apparently more enlightened world. Who cares how much older she is? Since when did a large age gap mean you can't have "anything in common" with someone else? Is having something in common only reliant upon age differences? Really? Catherine Zeta Jones is 25 years younger than Michael Douglas - how come that's barely mentioned every time they're in the press? Sad.
Vadge continues her downward spiral by slowly morphing into a nineteenth century applehead doll. When she's totally dried up (interpret that as you will) varnish will be applied to her head to keep it intact. Different outfits can then be used to change her appearance.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
How weird will it sound to hear Madonna & Jesus pronounced hubby & wife...in a Kabbalah ceremony at that.
oh god yes, we allll forgot about Mercy
so sad, prolly the story of her life.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
I say BS on the marriage thing. I'm sure Jesus is sweet and all and Madonna enjoys riding him, but I doubt she's going to get married again. I mean, what for?! She's not Elizabeth Taylor.
BTW Michael K, you forgot about the little Mercy: "...A lavish ceremony which will probably involve a dozen goats, a crucifix, a manger, flying angels and Rocco, David, Lourdes AND MERCY...".
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"I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs."
GlitterKitty - sorry luv, but looks like you are Jesus mama after all.
Jesus loves women, in fact he was quite the fucker in Brazil. He had lots of girlfriends; there photos all over the net (Google: "Jesus Luz ex girlfriends").
In fact, one of his ex-girlfriends trashed Madonna for dating Jesus: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1162526/So-exactly-ARE-dati...
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"I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs."
a good place http://www.Sugarloves.Com the rich laddy who are rich and successful to support and pamper women
who will treat you like a king and for sugar babies who are
attractive and young to seek a generous benefactor to
mentor and take care of you. think twice!!
Yes he is a gay man. I don't get why no one mentions this? It is pretty well known in the fashion business as he has a photgrapher BF. I think Lainey blogged about it too. Anyway.. I saw them at a magazine party a while back. If they are doing fucky time then I am Jesus's mama. (Christ I hope not).
So yes. Jesus is gay.. And anyone that thinks MAdonna is actually having sex with anyone right now needs a head check. She is too busy making her body look like a bloke's.
Submitted by sugar free on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 10:01am.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:35am.
Before it's all over, I hope Madonna hooks up with Hugh Hefner.
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at least then she'll appear younger. hooking up with little boys only underscores how old she is. Madonna & Larry King!!
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Bumping liver spots is the new bumping uglies!
I love madonna and everything, but this is just fucking trashy. I mean I hate old men who prey on young girls and I fucking hate cougars as well. It's creepy because it's a flagrant display of choosing looks over personality in a mate. There is no way a 52 year old woman has anything in common with a 20-something boy and vice versa. It's interesting when people try to act like it's more that just physical attraction or some sort of fetish. Call it what it is and move on.
Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.
-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210
yeah right--there's no way this bitch is getting married again...not yet anyway.
I dont think she will make the mistake of getting married without a pre-nup again. She is all about $. I know every1 says Jesus is a mo but there's plenty of cougars out there with younger men.
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Resistance is Futile!
Ahhhhh.....I think she means SHE "checks" in with HIM.
Madonna should just ride it until it wears out(reader decides what wears out) and move on. No need for marriage at this stage of the game.
Only her third husband? Hasn't she been married more than that?
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:35am.
Before it's all over, I hope Madonna hooks up with Hugh Hefner.
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at least then she'll appear younger. hooking up with little boys only underscores how old she is. Madonna & Larry King!!
Submitted by Morbidosity on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:47am.
Self involved? Madonna?? Ummm.. I just don't see it.
hahaha. It almost sounds like a good thing, huh? "He's one of our best salesmen and very self-involved with his work."
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:50am.
I don't think I'm quite there yet. Maybe I'll decide when I'm 50 or so.
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I feel I'm on top again baby that's got everything to do with you...
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:48am.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:37am.
How much would I pay or how much do I charge?
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That would be pay.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:37am.
How much would I pay or how much do I charge?
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I feel I'm on top again baby that's got everything to do with you...
Self involved? Madonna?? Ummm.. I just don't see it.
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Ok. I just read MK's intro. It sounds like FATHER CHRISTMAS might be at the wedding!
I think he should get paid if he needs to clean her ass in (looks at calendar)...in 2 yrs.
Coma Caca!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:30am.
WAIT! SANTA'S GAY!?!?!??!!?
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ERm... Santa Clause and Father Christmas might be two different fellows.
Submitted by jonnobaas_sea on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:35am.
My sister's kids are in their early to mid 20s & they think she's a dried up grandmother. Hasn't she already gone through menopause?
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LOL. Um... Menopause can last as long as 10 years from the time it starts.
Hey DD!! I never left honey - I just stop in and go about my business afterwards. Ciao for now!!
If they marry, it will be for his green card and for her media-hungry purposes. Lourdes is more beautiful than she and I know "Esther" doesn't appreciate that no matter how much she may try to seem cool with it!
Submitted by Coif on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 8:58am.
Please it's going to end up just like GUY, he is going to get tired of her constantly trying to preserve and pickle herself, he'll end up finding something younger and of course hotter with a firm not skeletal body, Vadge is a nightmare.
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Ya. Does she still sleep in a tent in her bedroom? I heard that somewhere...
But I don't think he's gonna care. He looks quite opportunistic to me.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:27am.
If I'm that age and someone that young and hot wants to hump me on a regular basis I wouldn't say no...even if it was for my money.
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Just out of curiosity, how much?
Before it's all over, I hope Madonna hooks up with Hugh Hefner.
Jeez, can't she do anything w/o informing the global media? She does of course know that if she did nothing for a year that she'd fade faster than my attention for a trick who shows up for a booty call?
My sister's kids are in their early to mid 20s & they think she's a dried up grandmother. Hasn't she already gone through menopause? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww....
"Most people to me are like dog shit on the pavement, walk around it & if you come into contact w/it, erase all traces toot sweet."
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:20am.
FFS HELLO Everyone knows the guy is as gay as Father Christmas.
LMFAO word
OMG LMAO @ Miss Jane talking like she's the old woman who lived in the shoe!!!!!!!
You're a spring chicken mah lurv!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Submitted by MJF on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:29am.
Yeah, and the Jesus loves Madonna jokes just write themselves...
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It'll be way worse than that.
We might see headlines like, "Jesus made Madonna pregnant" *gags*
Maybe this is just a stunt for "BLASPHEMY DAY" (Sept. 30)
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 9:25am.
jazzy: what's going on in your avie today?
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The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers - great comic from the 60s and 70s.
snowpiece on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 8:56am.
how gangsta, his undercrackers are hanging out!
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Hahahaha! I would say the same thing about Madonna, but I don't think that is her white underwear. It's her pasty skin!
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. ~Mark Twain
WAIT! SANTA'S GAY!?!?!??!!?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton