Let The Divorce Countdown Begin!
The wart hogs of the world can breathe a sigh of relief tonight, because Khloe Kardashian will not be out hunting them at midnight like usual. That's because she'll be too busy barfing up the essence of holy matrimony! Khloe Kardashian is officially someone's wife! Actually, the wedding might have been just for show since they haven't worked out the prenup yet. Anychynasclitistinglingoverthis...
People confirms that Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom in Beverly Hills tonight after dating for about three and a half minutes. The two became husband and beast in front of 250 guests including Ryan Gaycrest, Kelly Osbourne, Kobe Bryant, Lara Spencer, Chelsea Handler, Lala Vasquez and a dozen cameras from E!. Yes, it was as intimate as Katie Couric's colon exam.
Khloe was walked down the aisle by Bruce Jenner, his old face, Kim Kardashian, Kim's fat ass and Kourtney. She wore a gown made by Vera Wang and the guests gave her an A+++ for her tuck game. Khloe's bridesmaids included her two half-sisters Kendall and Kylie who entertained the weddings guests with their pole dancing skills.
The wedding went off without a hitch. Well, there only one awkward moment. When white doves were released during the ceremony, Khloe jumped up into the air, caught one with her mouth and bit its head off. It's instinct!
Let's all stick our asses up in the air and fart one out for the newest spokescouple for marriage and true love! I'm sure they'll prove us hating bitches wrong (no they won't).
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Was the Chewbacca from Star Wars there?
Sometimes 2 ugly people make the cutest babies...
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"Tell them that their efforts have failed, because the big unicorn will fly high above the corn fields one day soon." -MK
So how long before there is a story that they are going to have a baby? "Oh look, it happened on the honeymoon!" This is the most obvious shotgun wedding in history.
Damn that bitch is ugleeeeee! Her face is all kinds of fat, pudgy, chunky, surplus waste. But dude is ugleeee 2 so I guess they make a good couple. Dude what's with the crooked ass grin? R u 2 stupid 2 smile? Both sides up. Not one. Both.
Far be it for me to point out that even Quasimodo could pull a model/actress type should he be playin' da NBA but jesus .... why did this guy marry such a BEAST??!?
"I told the troot, and I have fate the troot will prevail."
Check this out http://ezinearticles.com/?Free-Cell-Phone-Directory---Empty-Promises?&id...
He looks so old and fugly. I think he looks about 60. He's gross. I think she feels pretty in comparison, which is the main attraction on her part.
Please,God, let there be no children!!!
Lord, they are both unattractive.
MissLoveInTx LMAO, nothing like a good comingback quote to get the week started out on the right note!
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Tupac is about to get into a grave, so he can roll over.. MK
"Wudnt nuthin strage bout yo daddy!" Al Sharpton
Good morning dlisters!!
OMFG this has to be one of MK's best wedding posts!!
If anything the world should rejoice in this most blessed and holy union for the main reason that Lamar Odom has taken a wilderbeast into captivity. Mankind is safe again!!
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AND YES SHE DID NOT HAVE TOILET PICTURES HERE WHEN Y'ALL PROBABLY WANT HER WIG RIPPIN' ON THE SEAT AND DOING A BOOT CLAP PROBABLY NOT!
Jungle Habitat sounds fun -- we need more places like that around! And it would be a fantastic honeymoon destintion for the happy newlyweds.
angel_i, COOL!
Submitted by Green Is Good on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 7:51am.
They'll be honeymooning at Jungle Habitat*.
(*For you young folk out there, Jungle Habitat was a drive through animal preserve in NJ, around the late 1970's. It ruled!)
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We still have that!
*sings* African Lion Safari!!!!!!
♥ Threadkilla!
LEAVE LADY GAGA ALOOOOOOOONE!(part 2)
They'll be honeymooning at Jungle Habitat*.
(*For you young folk out there, Jungle Habitat was a drive through animal preserve in NJ, around the late 1970's. It ruled!)
So does anyone really know where the this beast's E!-sponsored honeymoon will be? Please please please let it be a safari adventure!
Knowing this famewhore, her idea of a romantic honeymoon would be in the studio, editing footage of their wedding for her stupid reality series.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 09/27/2009 - 9:48pm.
They were gonna honeymoon in NYC, but Khloe always tries to climb the Empire State Building.
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She'd ruin her pedicure, and her groomers at Petsmart would be pissed.
I guess this guy likes pork. To each his own.
you take the red pill, you'll be rollin in 45 minutes. you take the blue pill, you wake up with a hardon and believe whatever you want to believe...
knock knock!
who's there!
it's Khole!
Khole who?
Khole who cleaned out your refrigerator and ate all of your marshmellows Khole...
you take the red pill, you'll be rollin in 45 minutes. you take the blue pill, you wake up with a hardon and believe whatever you want to believe...
What is America like when a celebutute and a blind trick can get married for cash after a month and two nice guys can't get married after ten years.
Wart-Hog's was all I need to read...AHAHA
so there is this guy going to the oh forget it
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
Marriage should be illegal from NOW on!!!
These fake hollyweirds need to be shoved in a hole all together and disappear. Bunch of bullshit. no wonder this planet is fu*((( up.
Coma Caca!!
Khloe gave a very moving speech at the reception:
How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a world so cold? (world so cold)
Maybe Im just 2 demanding
Maybe Im just like my father 2 bold
Maybe youre just like my mother
Shes never satisfied (shes never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry
I guess a "divorce" between this duo would be they no longer take pictures together?
Bye ESE sir
hopefully tomorrow we can do knock knock jokes!
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
stony, what ever helps you sleep at night.
Submitted by peaches80 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 1:42am.
i don't know any knock knock jokes , but do you remember that monty phyton film where they are crusaders and then there is this evil rabbit
"The Holy Grail"!!!!!!... love that flick!!.. *marking down a thousand more cool points for p80*... o.k.... now, i'm outta here!
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"Oh, these little earthquakes.
Here we go again.
These little earthquakes...
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces."
i don't know any knock knock jokes , but do you remember that monty phyton film where they are crusaders and then there is this evil rabbit , i think that movie is hilarious.
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 1:37am.
here's a really bad one (very not P.C) and not a knock knock
Q: why does helen keller wear skin tight pants?
A: so you can read her lips
I'm going to need this punchline explained to me
@ ESE
knock knock jokes !
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
@ kokoskitten
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa
LOL
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
oh, fuckit!... you arguing people aren't any fun...
night, to the silly, good, fun seekers that will probobly be drowned out because some people take this shit way too seriously!
see ya, folks!
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"Oh, these little earthquakes.
Here we go again.
These little earthquakes...
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces."
here's a really bad one (very not P.C) and not a knock knock
Q: why does helen keller wear skin tight pants?
A: so you can read her lips
who's there?
hahahahahahahahahaha!
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 1:32am.
knock, knock!... don't make me do this!!
I love knock, knock jokes. They are wholesome and EVERYONE can enjoy them!
Here's one that always leaves me in stitches
knock, knock
who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad to see me!
hehehehehe
@ ESE
she can be quiet funny sometimes , i must say the do make an amazing couple !
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
b
knock, knock!... don't make me do this!!
-----------------------------
"Oh, these little earthquakes.
Here we go again.
These little earthquakes...
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces."
a
I don't know which one of these two dimwits
has a dumber looking face.
I think it's a tie.
Submitted by peaches80 on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 1:27am.
i try to stay away from Courtney Love at all costs... she scares me!LOL!
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"Oh, these little earthquakes.
Here we go again.
These little earthquakes...
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces."
come on it's mean to pick on someone mae west
I would like a baby someday, ovt. But what you and may west are both too dense to pick up on is when I'm being sarcastic and joking around about drying up and dying an old maid. Yeah sometimes single girls do that sometimes. Imagine that. _____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
miss koko and ESE sir
have you seen the chavez /courtney love thread is quite funny , if i may say.
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 1:23am.
night, M2C!!
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"Oh, these little earthquakes.
Here we go again.
These little earthquakes...
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces."
OMG!!! LOOK OVER THERE!!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i love u,you love e. we r the good match -- zhang
if you people don't stop arguing, i'm gonna start an entire thread of knock knock jokes!... don't test me!.. i'll do it!LOL!
OT: nah.. seriously.. i don't care!
-----------------------------
"Oh, these little earthquakes.
Here we go again.
These little earthquakes...
Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces."